100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei
by Apple Snapple
Summary: 100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei. Number 100. I will not say 'I hate tennis' ever again. Crack.
1. Chapter 1

**Agh. I have no idea where I got this from. Probably from the 50 things I wasn't allowed to do at Hogwarts. XD**

**Haha. Guess the number of chapters this is going to be.**

**Warning: May contain bananas, window shutters, and infrared cameras. Please proceed with caution.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number One**

**_I will not insist that Atobe is wearing a wig._**

* * *

"Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssssssssssssshhhhhhhiiiiii!!" Mukahi cried out, jumping on Oshitari's back. 

"What is it now, Gakuto?"

"Atobe's trying to kill me!"

"What did you do to make him so angry?"

"I have no idea."

Shishido rolled his eyes. "You spread another rumor about Atobe, didn't you?

Mukahi looked shocked. "How did you know?"

"That's the only valid reason on why he'd try to kill you."

"It is not! I could drive him insane too!"

"Right...that's another fucked up reason..."

Just then Atobe came into the room, looking furious. "GAKUTO! ORE-SAMA'S HAIR IS NOT A WIG!!!"

Mukahi frowned. "Yes it is! IT IS SO TOTALLY A WIG!"

"NO IT ISN'T!"

"Yes it is! I mean, who the fuck has GRAY hair?!"

"Gakuto, you have red hair," Oshitari pointed out.

"And you have blue hair."

"That's just contradicting yourself."

"No it isn't! I mean, red hair is explainable. But GRAY?! It's like he's OLD."

"ORE-SAMA IS NOT OLD!"

"Then that must mean you're wearing a wig."

"ORE-SAMA IS NOT WEARING A WIG! ORE-SAMA'S HAIR IS A REAL LUSCIOUS GRAY AND YOU CANNOT DENY THAT!"

Mukahi had a confused look on his face. "Luscious?"

Oshitari fiddled with his eyeglasses. "Luscious. There are two definitions of the word. One, meaning richly luxurious or appealing to the senses."

"What's the other one?"

"I would tell you, but you'd probably not want to know. And I don't think Atobe's really into that."

"Ah..."

Atobe was glaring. "Ore-sama's hair is REAL."

"No it isn't."

"It is!"

"Prove it! NO! WAIT!" Mukahi got off Oshitari's back (finally) and started pulling on Atobe's hair. "Hmm..."

Atobe was wincing. "STOP PULLING ORE-SAMA'S HAIR!"

"NEVER!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Shishido twitched. "Dude, if you don't stop he's probably going to assign us laps or something..."

"STOP PULLING ON ORE-SAMA'S HAIR!!"

"Then again...it IS pretty funny."

"BWAHAHAHA! I SHALL SINK NTO YOUR MIND AND INHABIT YOUR BRAINS!!"

Shishido twitched again. "That sounds stalkerish."

"I know!" Mukahi continued pulling on Atobe's hair.

Suddenly Atobe pushed Mukahi off of him. "EVERYONE 500 LAPS!!"

"Cool!" Mukahi exclaimed. "You just gave me a totally wonky random planet in the middle of nowhere!"

"..."

Oshitari sighed. "No, Gakuto. He gave you laps."

"Same thing!"

"..."

* * *

**Haha...xD I need to credit some quotes...**

_"I SHALL SINK INTO YOUR MIND AND INHABIT YOUR BRAINS!!" _**(me)**

_"Cool, you gave me a totally wonky random planet in the middle of nowhere!" _**(Audrey)**

**I hope you have enjoyed this. Please refrain from touching the infrared camera...**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm weird...XD I know.**

**At this rate, I'm thinking I'll finish this within...49 days. Or more, cause of school.**

**O.o I better get started...**

**Warning: May contain bananas, monkeys, key chains, and infra-blue cameras. Please proceed with caution.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Two**

**_I will not insist that Jirou is narcoleptic freak who needs to get a life._**

* * *

The Hyoutei regulars were all having a nice, quiet study session in the library. Which was really rare, considering that FOUR of their regulars were insane. Yes, they were insane, and you can NEVER change that fact. 

Anyways, Mukahi was busy folding a paper airplane. Oshitari was obviously reading a book, Shishido was playing a new video game he bought two days ago, Atobe was making a long speech about how great he was, Hiyoshi was reading Harry Potter because he was just too obsessed with it, Jirou was sleeping, Ohtori was reading a picture book for some odd reason, and Kabaji just sat there. Yes, Kabaji just sat there. He really was unproductive sometimes.

"Yuushi!" Mukahi cried out.

"What is it?"

"My airplane looks like a snowball!!!"

"Then make another one."

"I can't! This is my special airplane of DOOM that I have created to destroy Atobe!"

Atobe twitched and looked up. "What was that last bit?"

"Squee!"

"..."

"Yuushi!! Help me!!"

Oshitari sighed and picked up the...airplane. After a few folds and twists he managed to successfully make a paper airplane.

Mukahi squealed. Yes, he squealed. "Yay!! THANK YOU!!!"

Shishido looked up from his video game. "Well that was a new one. He's being polite."

Mukahi glared. "SHUT UP!"

"...Never mind." Shishido went back to his game.

Mukahi ran over to Atobe and began poking him with the airplane. "DIE DIE DIE!!!"

Ootori looked up from his picture book. "Um, Mukahi-senpai? What are you doing?"

"Killing Atobe. DIE DIE DIE!!!"

Atobe glared. "Ore-sama does not appreciate it when people poke Ore-sama!"

"Whatever. DIE DIE DIE!!!"

Atobe grabbed the airplane and flung it out the window. Well, he tried. The airplane was so beat up and it just fell beside Atobe's feet.

"Dude, you suck!" Mukahi said.

"He's dead," Hiyoshi mumbled.

"Who's dead?" Ootori asked.

"Some guy named F-"

"SOME OF US HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK YET!" Shishido suddenly snapped.

Hiyoshi glared at Shishido before turning back to his book.

Mukahi stared. "You still haven't read the seventh book? Are you out of your mind?!"

"No..."

Mukahi rolled his eyes and ran over to Ootori. He stared at the book in his hands. "What the fuck? The Magic School Bus?!"

Ootori looked up. "The Magic School Bus is cool!"

"NUH UH! ARTHUR IS!!"

"Isn't that the one where there's this guy with the really weird last name? Read or whatever." Shishido was shaking his head.

"The Magic School Bus is cooler!"

"NO IT ISN'T! ARTHUR IS!"

"MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!"

"ARTHUR!"

"THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS'S TITLE IS LONGER!"

"ARTHUR IS SHORTER! NO ONE WANTS TO PRONOUNCE A FUCKTASTICALLY LONG TITLE YOU KNOW!!"

"THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS HAS LOTS OF PEOPLE YOU KNOW!"

"WELL IN ARTHUR THERE'S THIS GUY WITH RABBIT EARS!"

"THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS HAS A MAGIC SCHOOL BUS IN IT!"

"WELL NO DUHH! THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS! AND THERE'S THIS SPOILED RICH BRAT IN ARTHUR!"

"WELL THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS HAS A REALLY COOL TEACHER IN IT!"

"THAT TEACHER'S GAY!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"THE TEACHER'S MAGICAL!"

"WELL THAT MUFFY WHATEVER PERSON KNOWS HOW TO SPEAK 5 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES! BEAT THAT!"

"THERE'S THIS KID WHO'S REALLY SMART! I think.YEAH!"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "THERE'S A NARCOLEPTIC FREAK IN ARTHUR! I think. Most likely there is. I'm not sure though." He began poking Jirou. "JIROU!! WAKE UP YOU NARCOLEPTIC FREAK!!"

Jirou slowly looked up and started glaring. "What did you say?"

"FINALLY! Jeez, you narcoleptic freak!"

"I AM NOT A NARCOLEPTIC FREAK!"

"YES YOU ARE!"

"I HATE YOU! YOU CAN GO DIE FOR ALL I CARE! UGH!!"

Mukahi twitched. "Whoa. Temper problems..."

"YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE TEMPER PROBLEMS!"

"..."

Atobe groaned. "Jirou's gone crazy...and it's all your fault."

Mukahi shrugged. "Whatever. He needs a life anyways."

Atobe glared. "MUKAHI! 1000 LAPS!"

"..."

* * *

**Haha...XDDDDD**


	3. Chapter 3

**Nurf. This is weird XD.**

**Warnings: May contain apples, pears, and knives. Please proceed with caution. And I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**Oh, and I am very sorry if I offended anyone with the 'narcoleptic freak' buisness in chapter 2. I was not meaning to offend anyone. Please forgive me. XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Three**

**_I will not pour coffee all over Atobe. Even if everyone insists it makes him look one hundred times more cooler._**

* * *

"I cannot believe Atobe made me run 1000 laps! AND IT WAS RAINING!" Mukahi was bitching. Well, not really. Everyone would bitch at some point if they had to run a horrendous amount of laps. Kind of. 

"Gakuto, it's your fault for making Jirou grouchy." Oshitari was STILL reading his book. What was it, a extra long bible?

"All I said was that he was a narcoleptic freak!"

"Gakuto, he is not a narcoleptic freak."

"He is!!! I mean, come on! He sleeps EVERY day. How is he NOT a narcoleptic freak?"

"Gakuto..."

"Don't 'Gakuto' me."

"It's your name."

"Oh whatever! No one cares!"

"..."

Ootori came stomping into the room. "THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS PWNS!"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Not this again..."

"THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS IS COOLER THAN ARTHUR!"

"Excuse me? Magic school buses don't exist in the real world."

There was a pause. "But...but..."

"No buts."

Ootori let out a long sigh.

"Now be a good boy and GET OUT OF THE ROOM!"

Ootori walked out of the room.

Oshitari shook his head. "Gakuto, that was highly unnecessary."

"Whatever! He was bugging me."

"He was bugging you just because he likes The Magic School Bus over Arthur?"

Mukahi glared. "Don't get me started."

"..."

Hiyoshi came into the room. "Harry Potter is better than both The Magic School Bus AND Arthur. And you can't deny it."

"NO IT ISN'T! Well, yeah, it kinda is, but we're talking about kids books here!"

"Harry Potter is cool. It's like, international."

"WHATEVER! ARTHUR'S INTERNATIONAL TOO!"

"Not quite..."

"UGH!"

Oshitari sighed. "I really don't know why all of you are arguing about pointless kids books."

"THEY'RE TV SHOWS TOO!"

"..."

"Anyways...have any of you people watched Barney?"

Shishido poked his head into the room. "What? The one with the really fat purple dinosaur?"

"Yeah."

"That one sucked. I mean, why does it have to be purple?!"

"Well what other color could it be? Brown?"

"...It's better than purple."

Atobe stormed into the room. "Ore-sama does NOT want pictures of Barney plastered around Ore-sama's living room!"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "What a coincidence. We were just talking about Barney. Have a seat. Class is now in session."

Everyone stared. "Class?"

"Yes! We are now going to learn about why it is a good thing to share! And not be greedy!"

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Share? PSHHH."

"DON'T YOU DARE 'PSHHH' ME!"

"..."

"Anyways! It's a good thing to share because if you didn't share and ate everything up you would be really really fat."

"...And how is that a valid reason?"

"It's a good thing! If you share you won't be fat!"

"...Right..."

Atobe was still glaring. "Ore-sama does not like the pictures that you have put in Ore-sama's room!"

"Whatever. Who cares? Just tear them all down if you hate them so much."

Atobe twitched.

"OMG did you hear? They've made a new blueberry frappuccino from Starbucks!" Mukahi was currently bouncing in his chair.

"Blueberry frappuccino? Hmm..." This from Oshitari.

Shishido winced. "Blueberry frappuccion? Ew! That's like, disgusting. People these days!" He shook his head.

"It's actually pretty good. Except it wasn't really coffee. It was just like...a blueberry shake, you know?"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Ore-sama does not drink commoner's coffee."

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "You suck." He took out a bottle of coffee, opened the lid, and dumped the contents all over Atobe.

Atobe had a look of shock on his face. Which was pretty funny, with all the coffee trickling down his face. Actually, it kind of looked like he was drowning...in coffee.

"There. You don't DRINK commoner's coffee, but now you've WORN it." Mukahi smiled triumphantly.

Atobe was twitching violently. "Gakuto..."

"You know, you actually look good with coffee all over your face," Shishido commented. "Makes you look cooler."

Atobe was still twitching.

"It makes you a HUNDRED times more cooler!" Mukahi said. "SERIOUSLY!"

Atobe stopped twitching. "EVERYONE 100 LAPS! NOW!!!"

"Dude, you're really weird, you know that?" Shishido said.

"Well you have to be weird because if you weren't weird, then you can't be normal, because to be weird is to be normal, and only normal people are weird, so.. I think I lost my train of thought..." Mukahi had a confused look on his face.

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Great. Now you've made yourself confused."

"Meh. Do it all the time. Not really a big thing these days..."

"..."

* * *

**I shall credit a quote. XD**

_'You have to be wierd because if you weren't wierd, then you can't be normal, because to be wierd is to be normal, and only normal people are wierd, so - I think I lost my train of thought._ **(Nyleve)**

**XDDD That was a good one. PSHH. I shall add it to my little notebook of quotes...Someday...I dunno when cause I'm too lazy to get the pencil right now. XD**

**Please refrain from touching the knives. Have a nice day.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh dear...after this it's 46 more chapters more to go...GAH XD**

**I feel like an idiot over here. Oh well xD**

**Warnings: May contain swearing, apple peels, and infra-green cameras. Please proceed with caution. We hope you enjoy your stay.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Four**

**_I will not steal Oshitari's diary and read it out loud to everyone._**

* * *

"I hate history," Mukahi whined. "Why do we have to learn about American History? And why do we have to learn about Compress?" 

"Gakuto, it's Congress," Oshitari said.

"Whatever! Same thing!"

All of the third years were gathered around a library table studying for their upcoming history test. Of course, they were all a bit nervous because their teacher...let's just say their teacher wasn't very nice.

"I HATE that stupid history teacher! What the heck does alpha decay have to do with history anyways?" Shishido was bitching.

"Absolutely nothing," Mukahi grumbled. "It's a science thingy. It's absolutely stupid and I don't think anyone even knows what alpha decay is anyways."

"Alpha decay," Oshitari started, "is a type of radioactive decay in which an atomic nucleus emits an alpha particle and transforms into an atom with a mass number 4 less and the atomic number 2 less. For exampl-"

"Okay we get your point!" Mukahi interrupted. "But seriously! When we're in history the history teacher shouldn't ask us random questions about science! It's like...STUPID."

"That teacher needs to die," Shishido mumbled.

"Or get framed."

"Ore-sama does not appreciate you two thinking about killing the history teacher when we're in the middle of studying," Atobe said.

"Well don't you agree? That teacher is STUPID and INSANE and CRAZY and a LUNATIC!" Mukahi was waving his arms around wildly.

"...Yes."

"YEAH! SO WE SHOULD KILL IT!"

"...It?"

"YES! IT!"

"..."

"Can we PLEASE get back to studying?" Shishido asked.

Jirou suddenly woke up. "HOUSE!" he shouted, before going back to sleep.

"..."

"Anyways..." Mukahi was twitching. "House of Representatives...their qualifications are...they have to be 30 years old, a citizen for 6 years, and they have to represent the state they reside in, right?"

Shishido stared. "That's the Senate."

"Oh...then what's the House?"

Shishido read off his notes. "The House of Representatives' qualifications are that they have to be at least 25 years old, a U.S. citizen for 7 years, and they have to represent the state they reside in."

Mukahi shrugged. "That's pretty similar to the Senate. Except for the age and stuff."

"Yeah..."

"So Senators serve a 2 year term?"

"No, they serve a 6 year term. The Representatives serve a 2 year term."

"Oh..."

"You're going to fail, you know that?"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Well you are too! I mean, come on! The history teacher's bound to give us random questions in math and science too! Jeez."

"True..."

Jirou suddenly came back (no one noticed he had walked out) and was waving a thin notebook in the air. "SUGEE!! GUESS WHAT I FOUND!!"

Shishido looked up from his notes. "What?"

"TARI-KUN'S NOTEBOOK!!!"

Oshitari twitched. "Where exactly did you find that thing?"

"In your locker!"

"..."

Jirou opened the notebook to the first page. "Let's see...Atobe is an egotistical moron who hates the world and needs to die. He's probably going to pretend he's Lise Meitner and insist that he performed the experiment that provided the first physical evidence of neutrinos. But really, everyone knows that anybody could study beta decay and find out the existence of neutrinos." Jirou had a confused look on his face. "Huh?"

"Who's Lise Meitner?" Mukahi asked.

"A scientist, obviously." Shishido rolled his eyes.

"Actually, she's a physicist," Oshitari said.

Atobe was twitching violently. "Ore-sama is NOT an egotistical moron! Ore-sama is better than Lise Meitner! ORE-SAMA IS BETTER THAN HIM!!!"

"Lise Meitner's a woman."

"FINE! ORE-SAMA IS BETTER THAN HER!"

"..."

Jirou flipped to another page. "Shishido needs to stop whining about Mukahi. Yes, I realize that Mukahi is annoying at times but Shishido just yells too much. I think about half the people in Hyoutei are deaf right now."

Shishido twitched and grabbed the notebook out of Jirou's hands. "What is this? A diary?"

Oshitari frowned. "A type of journal, yes. A diary, no."

"...There's no difference."

"Diary sounds too crude."

"Right..." Shishido began reading. "What? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BLEW UP ATOBE'S GARAGE WITH POPSCICLE STICKS?!!?!"

Mukahi winced. "Yuushi's right. You do yell too much."

"SHUT UP!"

"MAKE ME!"

"Cool. It says here that he wanted to be a psychiatrist when he grew up."

"...What's that?"

"...Please don't tell me you just asked that."

"And what if I did?"

Shishido shook his head and went back to reading. "Harry Potter is completely irrational and it needs to go die. WHAT?!"

Atobe sighed. "Oshitari, 50 laps for being a Harry Potter hater. And for calling Ore-sama an egotistical moron and blowing up my garage with popscicle sticks"

"I thought you hated Harry Potter," Mukahi said.

Atobe glared. "Gakuto, 18 laps for being an idiot."

"WHY IS IT 18?! THAT'S LIKE...NOT DIVISIBLE BY TEN!! Or is it?"

Oshitari twitched. "Why am I getting laps for hating Harry Potter? And I really don't appreciate it when people go into my locker and take things away from it. Especially if it's a journal."

"EVERYONE 500 LAPS! RIGHT NOW!!!"

"...Fu...fu...fu..."

Jirou looked up. "Funga fu fu?"

"..."

"I think Yuushi's really mad right now..."

"What'd you expect? We went through his journal."

"But he didn't like...try to grab it or anything."

"THIS IS OSHITARI WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

"SHISHIDO! 50 LAPS FOR SCREAMING!"

"..."

Mukahi rubbed his forehead. "You're right. He DOES yell alot..."

"..."

* * *

**Funga Fu Fu...that was from Shaman King. I think. I dunno, cause I stole it from Audrey. Yes, I'm mean like that. PSHH XD**

**Please refrain from touching the infra-green cameras on your way out. They are very expensive. Have a nice day.**


	5. Chapter 5

**-breathes- Okay. I shall post up the warnings in 3...2...1...**

**Warning: May contain alpha decay, radioactive protons (if there is such a thing) and infra-purple cameras. Please proceed with caution and enjoy your stay.**

**Heh. Two chapters in one day. You all must be glad, cause I think stretching this out for 50 days is too boring. Oh...and one more thing.**

**_To fogotten hyoshi:_ I dare you to make a fanfiction account. No, seriously, I'm serious. I seriously DARE YOU TO MAKE A FANFICTION ACCOUNT. XDD Cause...like...I want to actually PM you or somethin...or you could just give me your email in a review? XD Oh, and I'm not that good of a writer XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number 5**

**_I will not ask Mukahi if he likes sushi that has cream cheese in it._**

* * *

"Gakuto, stop jumping around." 

"But seriously!! DBSK is awesome and you can't diss it!"

"Gakuto, you're too obsessive."

"Yuushi!! You're so mean!!"

"..."

Just then Jirou just HAPPENED to walk by and asked a somewhat random question. "Muka-kun, do you want to try one?" He held up a box that had sushi in it.

Mukahi picked one up and stared at it. "What's the really weird white stuff?"

"Cream cheese," Jirou answered.

Mukahi twitched. "I absolutely ABHORE sushi that has cream cheese in it! It's disgusting!!"

Jirou pouted. "So Muka-kun doesn't like my sushi?"

"Why did you put cream cheese in it anyways?!"

"I thought it tasted good."

"It's disgusting! I mean, who in their right mind puts cream cheese in sushi? That's like...putting candy and soy sauce together!"

"Gakuto, you're being a bit rude," Oshitari commented.

"Well it's cream cheese in SUSHI. How can you not gross out about that?"

"Gakuto, it's just sushi."

"It has cream cheese in it!!!!"

"Gakuto..."

"It has cream cheese in it!! Your lack of responsiveness is killing me!"

"Responsiveness isn't a word."

"Yes. It. Is." Mukahi was now emitting a strange, dark aura. Which freaked out Jirou and he ran away. Oshitari just stood there.

"No it isn't, Gakuto."

"Yes. It. Totally. Supremely. Catastrophically. IS!"

"..."

"And don't you dare tell me that 'catastrophically' isn't a word! Cause it is and I checked on Wikipedia!"

"..."

Mukahi stomped away, leaving a very bored (and slightly amused) Oshitari.

* * *

Mukahi was busy typing on his laptop. His new laptop, mind, because his old one broke when he threw it out the window. Anyways, he was most likely typing something that had to do with fan fiction, because he didn't download MSN yet and AIM was being stupid. Of course, he could have done something else that involved typing, but he was mostly interested in writing fan fiction anyways. As Inui would say, there was a '99.6 percent chance that he was writing something to post on the fan fiction site'. Of course, not many people should care, really, what the heck he was typing on the computer anyways. As long as the story continued on and the rant stopped, because it was completely pointless and wasting every one's time. 

Shishido peered at the computer screen and stared. "Why are you writing 'I HATE CREAM CHEESE IN SUSHI!' over and over again?"

Mukahi was glaring at the computer screen and typing at a inhumane speed. "Because I do!"

"Are you going to post this on that really weird fan fiction site you keep on ranting about?"

"Of course."

"You do realize that this isn't fan fiction, and just some random rant that you made up? I mean, this probably should go on fiction-press or something, you know?"

"So?"

"So...I'm saying that you shouldn't post this on fan fiction. You should post this on fiction-press, because this is something you originally created and it is not based on anything that was published. Actually, they'd probably flame you anyways if you posted this on fiction-press, because all it says is that you hate cream cheese."

Mukahi looked up. "Since when did you become all scientific like?"

Shishido shook his head. "Oshitari's probably gotten into my head. Anyways, you aren't seriously going to post this on fan fiction, are you?"

"I am soooo totally posting this on fan fiction."

"Are you just trying to become a troll?"

"What's a troll?"

"Ugh. Never mind. Anyways, I'd highly recommend not posting it on fan fiction because if you did, you are even more an idiot than I'd even imagine and you're just asking to get tons and tons of hate mail."

"I feel like you're just ranting on and on at me about how stupid I am."

"Yeah, I kind of am."

"You suck."

"Whatever. Anyways, why do you hate cream cheese so much?"

"I don't hate cream cheese. I hate cream cheese when it gets put into sushi. Because it's disgusting."

Shishido shrugged. "It's not that bad."

Mukahi stared. "You're inhumane!! How can you think that's 'not that bad'? It's disgusting and the most awful thing that I have EVER had the misfortune to eat!"

"You're just being stubborn."

"I am NOT being stubborn. It is disgusting and I feel like puking just talking about it! I mean, how can anyone stand that thing? Whoever created it is just stupid and an idiotic douche bag. But then again, I guess anyone who creates anything is an idiotic douche bag, so I guess that every one's a idiotic douche bag. But then, that would mean that no one's an idiotic douche bag because being an idiotic douche bag would just seem normal. Same with people being weird. Since everyone calls everyone else weird, that just means that everyone's weird, which would mean that anyone normal would become weird, which makes it so that every one's normal. And seriously haven't you heard? Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. That is the smartest thing anyone has ever said. I know I'm ranting over here but I guess my hatred for cream cheese just kind of got to me. I guess I just like ranting now? I'm like that Shinji guy from Fudomine or whatever. Oh, and I wonder how they came up with the name "Fudomine" in the first place. It's kind of a weird name but whatever. And seriously, that Kamio person or whatever-" Okay. Let's fast forward to another couple of hours..

"-and seriously, I have no idea how they came up with computers, much less the internet. How many hours has it been? It seems like a really short time, but my mouth's getting a bit dry. I feel like I'm doing something really strange, but I don't know what. Does this mean I've gone insane? Because it feels like I keep on talking and talking and I can't stop for some reason. Why are you staring at me like that? Do I have something on my face? Well, I've been here for the past hour or so. So that must mean that there's nothing on my face, right? Unless you painted something on my face and I didn't notice, but wouldn't I notice? Unless you blocked off all five of my senses or something, but that would be literally impossible because I don't think you have supernatural powers or anything and-"

Shishido glared. "If you say another word I'm taking you to the Metal Institute."

"But I've been talking for what? Like, the past hour or so and you haven't said anything. You've just stared at me strangely and it's kinda weird, you know? Cause-"

Shishido groaned and walked out of the room.

* * *

Shishido yawned and turned on the TV to see the morning news. What he saw was not what he expected at all... 

"We have a new update. Reporters have just arrived live on the scene where a red-headed teenager is being taken away to the Mental Institute for a check-up," the woman in the TV announced. "The doctors are now saying they have never seen a phenomenon quite so strange as this one. They have tried almost everything, but they can't seem to make the teenager stop talking. They say they may have just witnessed another new disease. Critics are saying that-"

Shishido turned off the TV and groaned. "I cannot believe that guy got sent to the Mental Institute just because of cream cheese in sushi!"

* * *

**PSHIYUKZA!! This was long...XD**

**Oh, PSHIYUKZA is my new word for 'PSH' cause I can't use it anymore cause 'PSH' is Daisy's word and I would be stealing it. PSHIYUKZA!!**

**Oh, and OMFZCC is my new 'OMFG'. It stands for OH MY FREAKING ZONKY CANDY CANE.**

**Yep. I'm just weird that way. XD**

**I feel like no one's liking this...cause...yeah...XD**

**Please refrain from touching the infra-purple cameras. They're very rare and expensive, especially since infrared cameras are more popular. Please come again.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Nurf...xD**

**Nurf is so totally my word! XD And yeah, I would stay and talk, but I'd just put up a really long rant in my author's note in the last chapter. See? I'm ranting now.**

**Warnings: May contain beta decay, defenestration, and spontaneous combustion. Please proceed with caution.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Six**

**_I will not keep asking Mukahi over and over what he thinks of the number '13'._**

* * *

"This assignment is stupid," Mukahi grumbled. 

Shishido glared. "Would you just shut up and just work? Seriously, it's not that hard! All you have to do is research all the numbers on Wikipedia!"

"It's going to take DAYS!"

"Not with high speed internet, it won't."

"Gakuto, it's really pretty easy. She only gave us 4 numbers to work with," Oshitari commented.

Mukahi glared. "No one asked you!"

"SUGEE!" Jirou shouted. "Muka-kun snapped at Tari-kun! That means he's really grumpy!"

Mukahi gritted his teeth. "Let me explain. Our math teacher gave us four random numbers and is making us write a stupid freaking essay about their significances!!"

Shishido shrugged. "Just search on Wikipedia."

"This is stupid!"

"So are you."

"Hey!"

Oshitari shook his head. "The first number is 7."

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "It's obviously a lucky number, duhh!"

"Correction. Seven is the second lucky prime."

"...Care to speak Japanese?"

"...Let's not get into that."

"Right."

Shishido was copying off of Wikipedia. "Let's see. It says here that 7 is the natural number following 6 and preceding 8."

Mukahi rolled his eyes again. "No shit, Sherlock."

"Keep looking."

"That's the lamest comeback ever!"

"Whatever! Anyways, it says here that seven is the smallest happy number."

"Happy number?! That sounds...wrong...in a way."

"Yeah...whatever. Anyways, It's a really boring number. Let's go to 12, shall we?"

Jirou looked up. "SUGEE! That's the author's lucky number!"

"We don't give a shit about the author," Mukahi mumbled.

"Gakuto, that isn't a very nice thing to say. She has the right to kill you off, you know," Oshitari said.

"No she doesn't. Takeshi Konomi has that right."

"...Anyways, twelve is a composite number, the smallest number with exactly six divisors, its proper divisors being 1, 2, 3, 4 and 6. Twelve is also a highly composite number, the next one being 24."

"..."

Oshitari continued. "And the densest three-dimensional lattice sphere packing has each sphere touching 12 others, and this is almost certainly true for _any_ arrangement of spheres (the Kepler conjecture). Twelve is also the kissing number in three dimensions."

Mukahi stared. "Kissing number?"

Oshitari shook his head. "In geometry, the kissing number is the maximum number of spheres of radius 1 that can simultaneously touch the unit sphere in _n_-dimensional Euclidean space. The kissing number problem seeks the kissing number as a function of _n_."

"Forget that I even asked..."

Shishido looked at the assignment. "The next number is 666."

"666 is an abundant number. It is the sum of the first 36 natural numbers (i.e. 1 + 2 + 3... + 34 + 35 + 36 equals to 666), and thus a triangular number," Oshitari answered.

Mukahi twitched. "How come she's making us research numbers when their definitions are so wacky?"

"SUGEE!" But isn't 666 that really weird number that gets people freaked out?"

"Uh...I think it had something to do with religion...but I don't think we should get into that." Mukahi twitched again. "Anyways, some people take the number '666' so seriously that they try to avoid it at times. That's kinda...weird."

"..."

"It's called hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia." Oshitari pointed out.

"Hexahexhepho-what?"

"Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia," he repeated.

"...Okay."

"Right...I don't think anyone knows how to pronounce that." Shishido looked at the assignment sheet. "The next number is 13."

Jirou squeaked a little. "That number is SCARY! It's the really unlucky number!"

"13 is the natural number following 12 and preceding 14. It is the smallest integer with eight letters in its spelled out name in English." Oshitari said.

"Why do people need to know if it's the smallest integer with eight letters in its spelled out name in English?" Mukahi asked.

Oshitari just shook his head. "Thirteen is the 6th smallest prime number; the next is seventeen. 13 is the second Wilson prime and is the fifth Mersenne prime exponent, yielding 8191. Oh, and it's the second star number and the seventh Fibonacci number. Thirteen is regarded as an unlucky number in many cultures. Fear of the number 13 is called triskaidekaphobia."

Shishido twitched. "At least it's pronouncable. Kind of."

"Trikaikaphobia?" Mukahi asked.

"No, triskaidekaphobia."

"...Trikaidaiphobia?"

"...No."

"Uh...Rikkaidaiphobia?"

"No, Gakuto. That would be the fear of Rikkaidai."

"Oh...well fine!"

"Muka-kun, what do you think of the number thirteen?" Jirou asked.

"It SUCKS. I mean, come on! Why do they think it's an unlucky number anyway? Seriously, these people spend too much time studying a NUMBER. It's like...TABOO. Honestly, it's just a number, and yet so many people are scared of it. UGH! In some buildlings they actually skip the thirteenth floor and name it 'Floor 12a'. How retarded is that? Thirteen's just a number. I have like...I dunno...thirteen tennis rackets probably at home and I haven't died yet! It's just a freaking num-"

"Great." Shishido rolled his eyes. "He's gone ranting again."

"-so if they consider the number thirteen unlucky, then they must think that aluminum's unlucky too, since it's atomic number is thirteen. Jeez, and seriously, I am NOT ranting."

"...He stopped."

"It's just so STUPID. These people have NO brains whatsoever. UGHHH!" Mukahi stomped out of the room.

"..."

* * *

The next day, the teacher had a confused look on her face. "Mukahi-san, why did you give me a 30 page essay on how the fear of the number thirteen is...idiotic?"

Mukahi glared at the teacher. "Because it IS."

"Mukahi-san, to the principal's office. Now."

"YOU'RE GOING TO SEND ME TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE FOR DEFENDING MY BELIEFS?!"

"No, I'm sending you to the principal office because every other word in this essay was a swear word. Which is not allowed, I must add."

"...UGH..."

* * *

**PSHIYUKZA!! XDD**

**I feel kind of stupid writing these things...but they're funny.**

**I don't know if I'll have enough ideas for 50 things...XD.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Welps, I decided to post this up today too...cause I was bored and I seriously don't want to drag this out for 40 something days. I might even post up a third chapter today, who knows? XD**

**My jet lag STILL isn't gone. It's been 2 weeks! And I start school soon T.T.**

**High school shall suck. XD Cause it ranked like...number 50 for the best school in the nation or whatever. So it's going to SUCK. -twitches-**

**Warnings: May contain spontaneous peanuts, radioactive rubber pants, random stuff, and infra-triangle cameras. Please proceed with caution. We hope you enjoy your stay.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seven**

**_I will not say 'Kikumaru Eiji is the best acrobatic player around' in front of Mukahi._**

* * *

Everyone was studying again...because that was really the only interesting thing they ever did...sometimes. And plus, Mukahi really needed to catch up with his homework... 

Mukahi groaned and rolled his eyes. "Why do we have to learn about ratios?"

"Because it's math," Shishido explained.

"What do ratios have anything to do with math?"

"It has numbers in it. Duhh. Stop complaining."

"Well fine!" Mukahi grumbled a bit before he began scribbling on his homework. "Let's see...if x : 6 : y equals to 3 : 4 : 6, then what does 2x + y equal to? What the fuck? What's all this about?"

Oshitari sighed. "Gakuto, it's obvious that x will equal to 9/2 and that y will equal to 9. So therefore, 2x + y would equal to 18."

"...I thought this was math."

"That's what I'm saying, Gakuto."

"But you said something about halfs and letters..."

"..."

"This sucks...I'm not getting it."

"Okay, this is how you do it," Oshitari launched into a whole round of explanations, which took about 15 minutes.

"Huh?" Mukahi asked, after Oshitari was done.

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Okay, so basically you have to make the middle numbers equal, so you times the right side all by three and times the left side all by two. Then you find x and y."

"Oh...okay...so then...x is 54/7 and y is 197?"

"...No...dude, that answer is like...worse than the real one. The real one's like..SIMPLE."

"Well this is why I need help!"

"Even when we explain things to you, you still don't get it. Ugh...even that Kikumaru Eiji guy from Seigaku could probably get it. No wonder he's the best acrobatic player in the world. Sheesh."

Mukahi twitched. "What did you say?"

"...Are you deaf?"

A strange, black aura was emitting from Mukahi. "Did you say what I think you just said?!"

"What did you think I just said?"

"Kikumaru Eiji is NOT the best acrobatic player! I AM!"

"Sure...and monkeys have wings that let them fly all the way to Mars..."

Mukahi brightened up considerably. "Really?"

"No wonder Kikumaru's the best acrobatic player..."

"He is NOT the best acrobatic player! I AM!"

"Really? Prove it."

"Just because my academic scores are...below average does NOT mean Kikumaru's the best acrobatic player! You're talking of two TOTALLY different concepts here. Tennis, versus academics. My academic achievements have NOTHING to do with tennis! So go take your academic shit and STUFF IT UP YOUR ASS! CAUSE YOU SUCK!"

"That was one minute of my life I am SERIOUSLY not getting back. And stop trying to be scientific...you're being an idiot."

"FINE! I'll just go to Wikipedia and research EVERYTHING in the whole world and become SMART!"

"...You do realize that no human being would be able to research every article on Wikipedia and learn everything? Because no one's perfect and you can't learn everything in your lifetime?"

"Then I'll just get another lifetime from eBay..."

"...No wonder you got an F in math...or rather, no wonder you got an F in every single subject."

"Actually," Oshitari cut in. "Gakuto's not stupid. He's just not smart, that's all."

"..."

"Anyways...Kikumaru Eiji is definitely not the best acrobatic player around," Mukahi said. "He is not. You ask why. Because I'm the best acrobatic player and you can't deny that!"

"You're ranting again."

"At least I'm not going to go to the Mental Institute this time."

"You never know..."

"I thought we were talking about math."

"We kind of got off topic when you said you didn't get it."

"Oh...well I still don't get it."

Oshitari picked up a random tennis magazine that was lying around and began reading. "Huh...what a coincidence. It says here that 'Kikumaru Eiji is proclaimed as the best acrobatic player in Kantou'."

Mukahi grabbed the magazine and began hitting it with his math textbook. "DIE DIE DIE!!!"

"..."

"DIE!!!!"

"..."

Just then the table that Mukahi was hitting at broke.

"..."

"MUKAHI GAKUTO!! THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE! NOW!!!" The teacher shouted.

"..."

Mukahi got detention for a full two months for 'vandalizing school property'. He was a VERY unhappy person for the next few weeks...

* * *

**This was kinda random...in a kind of wacky konky random planet in the middle of nowhere thingy...XD**

**YOU!! -points at random person- I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH THE INFRA-TRIANGLE CAMERAS!!! GET OUT!!! NOW!!**

**XDD...just kidding...PSHIYUKZA.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Why in the craptastic heck am I doing this? XDD**

**Uh...I kinda forgot which number I was on...hold on...XD**

**Oh...there. **

**Three chapters in one day. WHEW. That's a new record for me. And I wrote a oneshot. -nods- Anyways, I hope you enjoy! This is kinda like...an apology cause I didn't update for two days one time...cause of China...airplanes...jet lag...you get the idea. XD **

**Warnings: May contain the internet, google, blogs, and MICROPHONES!!!! Ahem...-straightens tie- Please proceed with caution.**

**And this week's Opposite Week cause I say so. So therefore, everything in my profile's opposite. Kinda. In a way. So, this chapter is kinda dedicated to Opposite Week, in a way. XD Well, it WAS but I kinda reverted it back to normal. But it was kinda weird and pointless anyways...XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eight**

**_I will not listen to Atobe any longer._**

* * *

"Ore-sama has the best idea ever!" Atobe cried out, jumping up from his chair. 

The Hyoutei regulars were all in the clubroom, because practice was rained out and they were too cool to go back home. Actually, they just thought going back home would be boring, so they decided to stick around. Of course, the Hyoutei regulars were all bored too easily, and so, therefore, they were now officially bored. Fascinating news, wasn't it?

Anyways, all eyes were now on Atobe as he pranced around in his oh so fine glory. Pfft. Yeah right. Actually, Shishido wasn't actually paying attention.

Anyways...

"Ore-sama has the best idea ever!" Atobe tried again.

"Yeah...we heard." Shishido was currently reading a book.

"Listen to Ore-sama!"

Shishido grumbled and looked up.

"Ore-sama has the best idea ever!"

"Stop repeating yourself!" Mukahi bitched. "You're being stupid!! I'm bored!! Yuushi! What time is it?"

"Gakuto...just listen to what he has to say."

"BUT YOU SAID HE WAS AN EGOTISTICAL MORON!! AND NOW YOU'RE ON HIS SIDE? OH! I SEE HOW IT IS! FINE! BE THAT WAY!"

"..."

Mukahi glared at everyone and sat in a corner.

"..."

"Ore-sama thinks we should all celebrate Opposite Week!"

Shishido had a confused look on his face. "Opposite Week? What the hell?"

"SUGEE!" Jirou shouted.

"Who invented Opposite Week anyways?"

Atobe thought for a moment. "I think it was John Bob Mickle Shnider Claremont Yookza the third."

Oshitari shook his head. "No, Atobe. The author invented it."

"...The author's stupid."

"..."

"OPPOSITE WEEK'S FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE FREAKISHLY OPPOSITE!" Mukahi yelled out from his corner.

Atobe glared. "If you don't shut up I'll assign you laps."

"Yudan sezu ni ikou," Mukahi said grumpily.

"..."

Atobe cleared his throat, just cause he could. "Opposite Week starts...Now."

The room fell silent.

It was Ootori who spoke up first. "Um...so...what should we do now?"

Atobe put on a confused look. "What do you mean 'what should we do now'? You should not be asking what we SHOULDN'T do."

"...Huh?"

Atobe pointed at Shishido. "You. Don't explain to her."

"...Her?"

"No, her!"

"..."

Oshitari sighed. "What Atobe is trying to say is that yes, you're supposed to be explaining to him what Opposite Week is. So, everything's opposte, even gender. So, if I were to convert my sentence so that it'd make sense in Opposite Week, I would have to say 'What Atobe isn't trying to say is that no, you're not supposed to be explaining to her what Opposite Week isn't'."

"THAT'S TOO CONFUSING!" Mukahi shouted out. "I MEAN, THAT'S NOT TOO CONFUSING...I MEAN...WHAT?! I MEAN...NOT WHAT!"

"..."

Shishido tried to figure it out. "Okay. So I'm not female."

Oshitari shook his head. "No, you're supposed to say you're female, because double negatives make a positive, remember?"

"Okay...So I'm female..."

"No."

"BUT YOU JUST SAI-"

"No means yes, remember?"

"Oh..."

"Why are you not doing this, Yuushi?" Mukahi asked.

"I know."

"...Wait...huh? Oh...you mean you don't know...I think..."

Atobe smirked. "This is not fun. Ne, Kabaji?"

"..."

"Ne, Kabaji?" Atobe tried again.

"Atobe, it's not Opposite Week. That doesn't mean that Kabaji will say 'Usu'."

"ORE-SAMA IS NOT CONFUSED!!"

"...It's not your fault. You didn't make Opposite Week."

"ORE-SAMA LOVES THIS!!"

"..."

"Wait...so...If I say I'm not confused that means I'm confused, right?" Mukahi was pondering over it.

"This is better than Harry Potter," Hiyoshi mumbled.

"SUGEE! THIS IS...COOL!"

"...Does he mean not cool or cool?" Shishido asked.

Mukahi shrugged. "Dunno...I mean...I know...I mean...AW FUCK THIS!"

"Gakuto, that means you aren't confused," Oshitari said.

"DOES THAT MEAN I'M CONFUSED OR NOT?"

"I know...I mean...I don't know." Oshitari's brain was malfunctioning. Just a bit.

Atobe was currently banging his head on the wall.

* * *

"Hello. We have another important update for our morning news flash. Eight students from Hyoutei Gakuen were admitted to the Mental Institute. We have no details as the reason why yet," the reporter announced. "However, we do know that they might have a disease called "opposite drama"."

* * *

**...PSHIYUKZA. XD**

**School starts soon...XD**


	9. Chapter 9

**I confused everyone with Opposite Week...I even confused myself O.o How stupid is that? XD**

**Yeah...XD**

**Warnings: May contain gamma decay, rainbow lasers, Lays Chips Ahoy, and rainbow soda. Please proceed with caution.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Nine**

**_I absolutely should not, cannot, and will not call Atobe smart._**

* * *

_"Well, Atobe-san, I think you're really really smart!" The girl was fiddling with her bracelet._

_Atobe looked shocked. "You think Ore-sama is smart?"_

_The girl blushed and nodded. "Yes."_

_"..."_

* * *

"EVERYONE LISTEN TO ORE-SAMA!" Atobe yelled out. The Hyoutei regulars (well the third years at least) were all going to an early high school orientation. 

Shishido winced. "Jeez, you don't have to yell that loud. And why should we listen to you?"

"BECAUSE ORE-SAMA IS SMART!"

Mukahi looked up from his papers. "Who gave you that idea?"

"ORE-SAMA'S LOVER!!!"

Shishido dropped his water bottle, Mukahi dropped his papers, Oshitari just stood there, and Jirou was still sleeping.

"You have a LOVER?!" Shishido yelled out.

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT LOVE HER!! SHE LOVES ORE-SAMA!"

"Pfft." Mukahi rolled his eyes. "That makes sense."

"Atobe, why would she say you were smart?" Oshitari asked.

"SHE LOVES ORE-SAMA!!"

"You mean she's a fangirl," Oshitari corrected.

"Ore-sama thinks the word fangirl sounds too crude and should be exiled to Antartica."

"You can't exile a word."

"Ore-sama can! Because Ore-sama's smart!"

Shishido groaned. "And I thought it was impossible for his ego to grow any bigger."

Mukahi eyed the briefcase Atobe was holding. "Um, why did you bring a laptop?"

"Because Ore-sama needs to take notes!" Atobe said proudly.

"Right...like everyone takes notes during orientation."

"Ore-sama takes notes because Ore-sama is smurt!"

"...Smurt?"

"Yes, smurt!"

"...Don't you mean smart?"

"You will not confuse Ore-sama. I am smurt!"

"...Okay..."

Atobe began walking towards the pool, laptop in hand.

"Atobe, what are you doing?" Oshitari asked.

"I am walking through the pool to the theatre!"

Shishido twitched. "Uh, come again?"

"Does Ore-sama have to repeat himself?"

"You said you were going to walk _through _the pool."

"Ore-sama is smart! That's why Ore-sama has the ability to walk on pools!"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "First it's smurt, then it's smart. Make up your mind."

"DO NOT QUESTION ORE-SAMA'S ABILITIES!" Atobe screamed.

"Humans can't walk on or through pools," Oshitari stated.

Atobe smirked and continued walking forwards. "Watch Ore-sama's amazing abiliries."

Guess what happened. He fell in.

* * *

Atobe was walking home. Yes, he was walking home, because he thought he was too smart for limos. Anyways, the third years were still laughing at him because he was all wet from walking into the pool. He didn't care, because he knew that his smartness would only show itself when he was alone. So, now, he was alone. 

He saw a car coming towards him and jumped in front of it. "Ore-sama is smart, so the car will go through Ore-sama!" He stated.

* * *

"Hello, we have another important update for our morning news flash. Atobe Keigo was admitted to Tokyo Hospital for injuries because he was hit by a speeding car on 13 64 street. We have no details as to what happened, but the driver claims that Atobe-san made no move to move away from the car." 

Shishido rolled his eyes and groaned. "He's done it again. His ego's too big it's deadly."

* * *

**PSHIYUKZA. This totally sucked but I'm sooo tired from orientation. I just want to sleep now...X.x.**

**I need to make mah cactus oneshot...and yeah...I MIGHT continue Shattering World. It's possible...XD Cause I just got another idea...XP**

**-tears hair out- STUPID PLOT BUNNY WON'T GO AWAY!!! STUPID GRAPES!!! xD**

**STOP TOUCHING THE DAMN FREAKING RAINBOW LASERS!! xDD Joking...**


	10. Chapter 10

**I suck...first I'm posting humor, and then I'm posting angst. Which are two completely different polar opposites...**

**I'm a freak of nature.**

**Oh, and alerts are down. I think, cause I haven't been getting any PMs. If you sent me a PM, I think you need to wait a bit longer XD Something's glitchy with the site. Sorry for the hassle, but I DO have a blog, you know. Go to my profile XD. I allowed anonymous comments, so guests can post there. -nods-**

**Cause I'm being nice and I rant alot. XD**

**-smirks- I have a big surprise for all of you...**

**The 50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei will be changed to 100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei once I've got 50...cause the next 50 will be from all of YOU. That's right. But don't do it yet though!!! Once I've gotten to chapter 50 I'll tell, no, command you to give me ideas. Although, WritesRandomCrap is first cause I kinda stole the idea...from her...XD. Cause she gave me an idea. -nods- So, yes, think of it as a gift to all of you. XD**

**More details will come later. Like, the rules and stuff. So you have to pay attention, or else -evil smirks-**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ten**

**_I will not tell Atobe to go 'eat my shorts'."_**

* * *

Okay. The Hyoutei regulars had all decided to go for a nice trip to Washington D.C. Why? Because it was the capital of the United States and Atobe was bored. Actually, everyone was pretty bored. But they didn't see why they had to go to Washington D.C...because it was a little strange and completely pointless. It was odd they even agreed to it at all, really, but no one really cared. They were too bored to care. After the little incident with Atobe claiming he was all smart and that, no one had dared try to do anything drastic. Yet.

That was the key word. Yet.

Mukahi was just jumping around, minding his own buisness. Until he spotted the American flag. "HOLY CRAP!!! LOOK, YUUSHI! IT'S A RED THINGY ON A POLE!!!" he shouted, pointing at the flag.

The tourist leading them eyed him a little strangely, since he didn't speak Japanese.

Oshitari sighed. "Gakuto, that's the American flag."

"COOL! AMERICANS HAVE A FLAG?!?!"

"..."

Shishido twitched. "Now I really wish I didn't come."

"It's not as bad as it seems," Oshitari said.

"I'm with an idiot."

"Well, yes, that's true. But it's better than staying at home, isn't it?"

"I guess..."

"I hear they have a tennis convention."

"Hm...interesting. I guess."

"It's a tennis convention."

"Well I'm fucking tired. Some people have jet lag you know."

"..."

"SUGEE!!!" Jirou pointed at a random display. "THAT LOOKS SO COOL!"

Shishido winced. "This is why I don't travel around with a bunch of idiots...annoying ones at that."

The tourist gave the group another odd look before proceeding on. With the tour, of course.

As they went outside, Mukahi gasped and pointed to a bus passing by. "LOOK, YUUSHI! IT'S THE SIMPSONS!!!"

"..."

"What. The. Fuck?" Shishido was staring. "You actually watch that show? But's in English!"

"They have Japanese subtitles, you know."

"What, you know how to read?"

"Shut up! Anyways, I love it when that kid says "eat my shorts"! It's SOOO original."

"Ore-sama does not appreciate you yelling out that. It's too crude."

Mukahi glared at him. "EAT. MY. SHORTS!!!"

"..."

"Anyways, I wonder why they call it 'strawberry shortcake' over here anyways...I mean, it isn't like...the shortest cake around, is it?"

Shishido gave him an odd look. "You're a bit on the random side, you know that?"

"Yeah...kinda..."

Atobe was now currently twitching violently. "Ore-sama..." he broke off after that.

"Um, Mukahi-senpai? I think he's having a seizure," Ootori pointed at Atobe.

"Usu."

"Gekokujyu," was all Hiyoshi said.

"..."

Atobe was currently spazzing out. Literally.

"Atobe, calm yourself," Oshitari urged. "We don't have health insurance over here, you know."

"Uh...why would he need health insurance?" Mukahi asked.

"Because the hospital bill would be too high."

"Um, excuse me? He's rich."

"..."

"...He just turned smart," Shishido stated, pointing at Mukahi.

"YAY!!! I'M SMURT!!!" Mukahi yelled.

"Then again...Atobe's probably rubbing off of you or something. Because smurt is his word."

Atobe's face was now turning a lovely shade of purple. Yes, I used the word lovely. Deal with it.

"Um, he's dying." Ootori pointed at Atobe.

"And who cares?" Mukahi asked.

"Well, we DO need him for nationals." Shishido was pondering on this new problem.

"True..."

"I say we ditch him at a hospital."

"Agreed."

* * *

**This one wasn't as funny. I'm really tired...OH! I JUST GOT ANOTHER IDEA FOR THIS!! I'M POSTING IT UP!!**

**Yes, I'm weird. Random things happen in my head at random times. Deal with it.**

**No, please do not touch the fucking cameras. I paid for them you know. Even though there was no warning cause of the surprise...XD**


	11. Chapter 11

**Alrighty then. My other idea. XD But this takes place when they're in their freshman year of middle school...XD**

**Warnings: Please do not touch the fucking cameras. Seriously. And refrain from touching the cup noodles as well. They're my food. Aw, what the heck. DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH, LOOK, OR EVEN TRY TO SMELL THE CAMERAS!! SO STOP STARING!**

**I got this idea when we played the Name Game for freshman orientation...HIGH SCHOOL orientation...mah bad XD**

**P.S. I'm using last names...for the name game XD not first...GAH this is confusing but whatever...XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eleven**

**_I will not play the 'name game' ever again._**

* * *

"Alright," the teacher announced. "We will play a name game, just to get everyone acquainted with each other. Everyone, please form a circle." 

The class formed a circle, just like the teacher asked. Except Mukahi was fidgeting a bit because he was bored. And Atobe...was just being Atobe.

"Ore-sama does not understand why we have to form a circle."

"Because we're playing a name game, dumbfuck," Mukahi rolled his eyes.

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ORE-SAMA 'DUMBFUCK'!"

"Class, please." The teacher was trying to calm the two. "We're going to play a game, Atobe. That's why we have to form a circle."

"..."

"So," the teacher began explaining. "We will go clockwise. Mukahi-san will start, and the person next to him will go after him, and so on. You have to say your name, and a animal that starts with the same letter as the first letter of your name."

"Wait," Mukahi said. "Doesn't that mean the last person has to memorize the most names and animals?"

"Yes..."

"But that's like...not fair. It's stupid."

"Why are you complaining?" Shishido asked. "I think I'm the last one, you know."

"Oh..."

"...So, class. Shall we start?"

Mukahi sighed. "This is stupid..."

"Mukahi-san, please start."

"...Mukahi the...uh...mole?"

The girl next to him continued on. "Um...he's...Mukahi the mole...and I"m...Akari the...ant."

The game continued with a few more students before it was Atobe's turn.

"Ore-sama is Atobe the orangutan," Atobe said proudly.

"Atobe-san...you have to say you other classmates' names first," the teacher said.

"And 'orangutan' doesn't start with an 'a'," Oshitari stated.

The class laughed. Atobe glared at all of them.

"Ore-sama is GOD. So, therefore, ORANGUTAN DOES TOO START WITH AN A!!!"

"..."

Oshitari twitched. But just a little.

The girl next to Atobe pointed at Mukahi. "Um...you are that thing that's like...on Atobe-san's face, wasn't it?"

Atobe twitched. "ORE-SAMA DOES NOT HAVE A MOLE!"

The girl was silent. She pointed at Atobe. "You are the really...uh...orange monkey...I think."

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ORE-SAMA AN ORANGUTAN!!!"

"Atobe-san," the teacher said impatiently. "That girl is a transfer student from Taiwan. Please, don't yell at her."

Atobe pointed at the girl. "Ore-sama demands you take Japanese lessons!"

The girl suddenly yelped out. "YOU ARE A ORANGE PEEL! OH YES!!!"

Atobe was mentally crying to himself. Why, oh why did he have to play this pointless name game?

Mukahi just smirked and pointed at Shishido. "I know! You're the snake!"

Shishido stared. "I haven't gone yet."

"Oh..."

"SUGEE!" Jirou shouted. "THERE'S A REALLY WE-" he broke off and fell on the floor, asleep.

"What the heck?"

"..."

"YOU'RE THE OGRE!" Mukahi was pointing at Atobe.

"Ore-sama is the orangutan!"

"Yeah...MONKEY KING!!!"

"Ore-sama is NOT the Monkey King!"

"Well, it kinda fits. You called yourself like...a monkey thing...and you're actually trying to be king..."

Atobe pondered on this for a moment. "Ore-sama believes you have a point."

Shishido groaned. "Great. We have two idiots in our class now."

"ORE-SAMA IS NOT AN IDIOT!!"

"DUMBFUCK!!!"

"Atobe! Mukahi!" the teacher barked. "To the principal's office! NOW!"

"..."

* * *

**I think I'm too tired...XD I wanna sleep sooooo badly...**

**Oh...another chappie to Shattering World... I need to make it -dies-**

**SLEEP!!!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm sorry. But I shall not be taking a break XD I wanted to...but I decided not to cause I love writing too much. And I have lots of extra stupid quotes to share with all of you XD**

**Warnings: May contain cameras, triangular ghouls, Capri Suns, pink notebooks, and rainbow ghoulish lasers. DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH, SEE, HEAR, SMELL, OR TASTE THE LASERS!! THAT'S RIGHT! I'M PROHIBITING YOU FROM LICKING THEM CAUSE SOMEONE DID!!! Which was gross DX and I had to clean it up. XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twelve**

**_I will not do homework during lunchtime ever again._**

* * *

The Hyoutei regulars were all having a nice lunch session. Psh, yeah right. Something totally wonky and wacked up was bound to happen, since that week had been relatively quiet. 

"Which chopsticks are mine?!" Mukahi asked, looking bewildered.

Shishido rolled his eyes. "It's the silver ones, you retard."

"THEY'RE CHOPSTICKS!! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO REMEMBER MINE OWN EVERY DAY!!!"

"...Okay."

"I'm going to China today," Oshitari said randomly.

"What?! But how am I supposed to talk to you?" Mukahi brightened up considerably. "TELEPATHY! I SHALL SINK INTO YOUR MIND AND INHABIT YOUR BRAINS!!!"

"That sounds stalkerish, you know," Shishido said.

"Yeah, I know."

"..."

"You're making me hungry."

"..."

"What the fuck? Fried twinkies?" Mukahi stared at Atobe's lunch.

"What the fuck?!" Shishido leaned over and stared.

"Ore-sama does not like people staring at Ore-sama's lunch," Atobe said with great distaste.

"Are you seriously going to eat that?"

"Yes..."

"But it's commoner's food!" Mukahi yelled out.

Atobe twitched. "Ore-sama knows that! Now do your homework!!"

Mukahi pondered over this for a moment. "Lovely...nondescript...use these words in a sentence...uh...what a lovely color of nondescript?"

"..."

"No...wait...lovely nondescript popscicles come in a wide variety of shapes and flavors. Get yours today!"

"..."

Jirou began wailing. "There's a ghost coming out of my rice."

Mukahi spun around. "I KNOW! SERIOUSLY, THAT'S WHAT I SAID TWO MONTHS AGO!! CAUSE LIKE, STEAM LOOKS ALOT LIKE A GHOST, DOESN'T IT? DUDE, WE HAVE LIKE, THE SAME BRAINS MAN!"

"..."

"Can we officially call him insane?" Shishido asked.

"Not yet," Oshitari answered.

"This homework assignment is a totally wonky random planet in the middle of nowhere. Ugh." Mukahi slammed down his packet on the table and began eating.

Atobe sighed. "Once you all are old, I'll be SO dead. I mean, dead."

"Atobe, I don't think there's a version of dying," Oshitari commented.

"That's why I said 'I mean, dead' idiot!" Atobe snapped.

"He's lost it. Actually, both of them have lost it," Shishido stated.

"AGH!!!!" Mukahi screamed in fury.

"..."

"This is so stupid! We're such emo people, whenever somebody wants to change something somebody dies!" He was staring at his history packet.

"Right. Okay then..."

"FUCKTART!" Mukahi shouted, pointing at his science homework.

"Just do you homework!"

"URGH!" Mukahi picked up his homework and brightened up considerably. He walked over to Atobe. "I'm sorry. You have cancer. But we can cure you with an STD!"

"WTF?!?!?!"

Atobe looked at the homework and almost died. "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ORE-SAMA THAT ORANGUTAN STARTED WITH AN O?!"

"I did," Oshitari said.

"Oh."

Shishido sighed. "At least the homework's not too bad. I remember in elementary school my teachers used to be SO unhuman."

"It's inhumane." Oshitari corrected.

"No it isn't."

"Check on Wikipedia," Mukahi mumbled.

"..." Shishido walked over and almost smacked him on the head. Almost. He took a look at Mukahi's English homework.

Here's what it said:

"WOOOOOOT! Io dons neea spollcieck, my seiolling is parfect!"

"...Dumbfuck."

"FUCKTART!"

"DUMBFUCK!"

"FUCKTART!"

"DUMBFUCK!"

"FUCKTART!"

"SHISHIDO AND MUKAHI, 600 LAPS AROUND THE CITY. NOW!!!"

"..."

* * *

**Pshh XD I feel so much better now.**

**Oh, all the quotes are in my profile. XD I credited them in my profile so...XD You can see who said what. XD**


	13. Chapter 13

**...This world's insane. I'm insane. Let's just leave it at that.**

**WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR HP7 AKA HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS!!!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!**

**OMFG DBSK!! Don't mind me...I'm being crazy again.**

**Yeah...**

**Warnings: Read the last warning. Seriously. Cause licking a camera is just plain gross**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirteen**

**_I will not ask if Atobe's eye is screwing with the computer or not._**

* * *

"I hate fanfiction!" Mukahi exclaimed, slamming his laptop on the table. 

Shishido was staring at the laptop. "Why?"

"Their stories are stupid!"

"You just said two weeks ago that you loved those stories. What happened?"

"Well...I clicked on a story about violins...and I can't remember what happened. I'll just look at some YouTube videos." Mukahi sighed and began clicking away.

Shishido shrugged and started reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Don't ask. He just started. Don't ask why. Just don't.

Mukahi was clicking at some random buttons and proceeded to watch a video. However, he only watched it for a minute before bitching again. "WHAT THE FUCK?! I SO TOTALLY JUMP HIGHER THAN THAT!"

Shishido leaned over. "What?"

"Tenimyu sucks!"

"Why's that?"

"That person that was SUPPOSED to act like me freaking jumps like a...like a...like a fat chicken on crack!"

"...Okay, first of all, have you even seen a chicken on crack?"

"Yeah."

"..."

"Don't ask."

"I wasn't going to. And secondly, average human beings don't have the ability to jump six feet in the air."

"Well then they should've hired someone that wasn't a human being! Maybe someone from Mars!"

"..."

"Ugh! Never mind!" Mukahi's attention went back to his laptop.

Shishido shrugged and began reading again. However, he only got through half a paragraph before dropping the book. "Why in the fucking hell did the author kill Hedwig? It's just a bird!"

"Owl," Mukahi corrected.

"Whatever! She shouldn't do that!"

"She can do whatever she wants."

"You're taking her side."

'Yeah, I guess."

"She killed off Hedwig."

"So?"

"..."

Mukahi sighed. "You know, I feel like we've been complaining alot today."

"It's all your fault."

"Why is it my fault?"

"Because it just is."

Atobe suddenly came into the room, grabbed Shishido's head, and began drowning him with a water bottle. At least, he tried. Didn't actually work.

Mukahi twitched. "Please. Water bottles are not made for drowning people. You have a sink for a reason you know."

"Ore-sama does not appreciate when you two spread rumors!" Atobe shouted, glaring at both of them.

"About what?" Mukahi asked.

"ORE-SAMA'S EYE DOES NOT FUCK ORE-SAMA'S COMPUTER!"

"Say what?" Both of them were staring at Atobe now.

"ORE-SAMA'S EYE DOES NOT SCREW WITH HIS COMPUTER!"

"Whoever said that?" Mukahi asked.

"YOU TWO DID!!! BOTH OF YOU 500 LAPS NOW!!"

"You're making us run an insane amount of laps you know."

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT CARE!!"

"Please don't tell me your eye's actually fucking with your brain."

"500 LAPS!! NOW!!!!"

"..."

**In the bushes...**

Hiyoshi was cackling and taking a horrendous amount of notes. "Gekokujyou...ii data." He was having a total Inui moment.

* * *

**PSHIYUKZA. Now I have like...5 ideas popping out in my head.**

**But, alas, no idea to end Shattering World...X.x**


	14. Chapter 14

**...XDD I had like...tons of ideas yesterday but I'm running out of steam...DON'T GIVE ME ANY IDEAS!! SAVE THEM FOR LIKE...THE 100 THINGY...XDDD**

**My hobby right now is collecting random avatars. XD**

**Warnings: Read like...chapter 12. Just don't do anything with the freaking cameras, okay? AND THE CUP NOODLES ARE MINE!!!**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fourteen**

**_I will not ask whether popscicles shoot laser beams out of them or not._**

* * *

"Don't cheat," Mukahi said. "Because...uh...bad things will happen to you. Yeah, that's it." 

"Care to elaborate on that, Mukahi-san?" the teacher asked.

"Um. Don't blow up the school or do bad things...because bad things will happen to you."

"Mukahi-san, you're teaching a freshman class about plagarism. Please elaborate."

"Bad things will happen to you if you do bad things."

The freshman class just stared at him.

"Bad things will happen to you if you blow up Atobe's house."

One girl raised her hand. "Who's this...Atobe dude?"

Atobe suddenly popped out of nowhere and began screaming. "How do you NOT know Ore-sama?! Ore-sama is king!"

The girl started screaming at him too. "YOU FUCKING EGOTISTICAL MORON!! I HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!! GO DIE! UGH!"

"..."

"Um, Oshima-san, please, calm down."

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!"

"You sound alot like Atobe," Mukahi commented.

"FUCK YOU!"

"..."

"OSHIMA-SAN TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE NOW!" the teacher shouted.

"..." The girl stomped to the office.

"Um, class. We'll continue, now. Please don't mind."

"Right..." Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Anyways, don't call Shishido a whore-hog. Bad things will happen to you."

"..."

"Oh, and don't eat soup during the middle of class. Cause bad things will happen to you."

"..."

"Don't write fanfiction if you don't know what you're doing. Because bad things will happen to you."

"..."

"Don't eat hamburgers for breakfast. Bad things will happen to you."

"..."

"Don't ask if chickens eat cacti. Bad things will happen to you."

"..."

"Don't ask if popscicles shoot laser beams out of them. Bad things will happen to you."

"..."

Shishido burst into the room and aimed a popscicle at him. "INVADER ZIM SUCKS!"

"..."

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "You said popscicles didn't shoot laser out of them."

Shsihido threw the popscicle at Mukahi's head. "DIE."

"Mukahi-san, Shishido-san, please don't do this in front of the freshmen."

"YOU BUMSCICLE!" Mukahi shouted.

"FUCK YOU! WHAT THE HELL'S A BUMSCICLE ANYWAY?!"

"DIE! BUTTHOLE!"

"BUTTHOLE SURFERS IS NOT A BAND!"

"YES IT IS! SHUT UP!!!"

"YOU'RE WEIRD."

"FUCK YOU."

"THINK OF SOMETHING BETTER DUMBASS!"

"YOU'RE A HALF-DROWNED GOAT WHO'S JUST DYING TO EAT TACOS!"

"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!"

"BOTH OF YOU TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE NOW!" the teacher shouted.

"..."

* * *

"Class, what did we learn today?" the teacher asked sweetly. 

"Don't do anything to provoke the regulars. Don't provoke the teacher. Don't ask if popscicles shoot out laser beams. Bad things will happen to you if you do," the class said.

"Good!"

* * *

**-sweatdrop- I'm freaked about by that teacher...I dunno why...I created him/her...XDDDD**

**Nya I'm so happy I finished Shattering World XD**


	15. Chapter 15

**XDDDDDDD I just...yeah...never mind XDDD**

**Warnings: Don't fucking touch, smell, see, taste, or hear the cameras/lasers. SHEESH**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifteen**

**_I will not ask whether Nova Scotia is a country or not._**

* * *

"I spelled water wrong," Mukahi announced on oh, so fine a day. Kind of... 

"No one cares if you spelled water wrong," Shishido said, not looking up from his...origami. Thing. "There's no way you could've spelled water wrong anyways."

"I put in a double t," Mukahi said. "Duhh."

"Right..."

"Why're you doing that anyways?" Mukahi pointed at Shishido's snowball...er...creation.

"Because I'm bored. And Atobe's being stupid."

'What's he doing?"

"Last time I checked I think he was trying to stalk Sanada."

"Trying?"

"He fell in a lake."

"Oh."

"Yeah..."

"Wait, why was he-"

"Don't ask," Shishido interrupted.

"Oh."

The room stayed silent for about three minutes. Very impressing. The author just might give them virtual cookies...NOT.

"OMFG!" Mukahi shouted. "MADA MADA DANE!"

"...Wait...what?"

"MADA MADA DANE!!!"

"Why are you copying that Echizen kid now?"

"MADA MADA DANE IS SOOO MUCH BETTER THAN YOUR TRADEMARK LOGO!"

"I don't have a trademark logo."

"YES YOU DO!! It's "I'm the stupidest person in the world desu"."

"Why'd you add in the 'desu'?"

"Dunno."

"Well you know what, MADA MADA DANE CAN GO DROWN. YUDAN SEZU NI IKOU MY ASS. AND SAA CAN JUST GO SUCK IT UP AND KILL ITSELF!!!"

"SAA, HAJIMENASAI YO!"

"YADDA!"

"...Aa?"

"..."

"..."

"Why are we doing this anyways?"

"I think you lost your temper," Mukahi answered truthfully.

"Oh."

"..."

"..."

"I'm bored now."

"Don't you have some random anime that you can watch?"

"Oh yeah...like Naruto!"

"SASUKE'S SMEXY!" one random fangirl cried out. Don't ask where she came from, but she's like...a Sasuke fangirl...

"WHAT THE HECK? SASUKE'S NOT SMEXY! HE'S LIKE...A SODIUM CHLORIDE GONE WRONG!"

"Okay..." Shishido was still trying to make...something.

"I'M SERIOUS! HE HAS DUCK-BUTT HAIR!"

"So?"

"So you don't care if Sasuke's a sodium chloride gone wrong?"

"No."

"Good."

"..."

"Oh my gosh...is Nova Scotia a country?" Mukahi asked.

"It's a province."

"No it isn't! You liar! It's probably one of those state thingies..."

"No it isn't."

"Maybe it's a continent!"

"No it isn't."

"MAYBE IT'S A WORLD!!!"

"...I'm not going to comment."

"Fine! Be that way!"

"..."

* * *

The next day, Mukahi got a zero on his geography test. No one knew how, but he claimed that it had nothing to do with Naruto.

"OMFG...the sun rays are getting to me!" Mukahi said. "Ah! Help! I'll drown in a water bottle for you!"

"..."

"So? Isn't Nova Scotia a country?"

"..."

* * *

**Uh...I'm assuming everyone knows what 'mada mada dane' and 'yudan sezu ni ikou' means...**

**'Saa' means "Who knows?" Just a bit of information**

**And "Saa, hajimenasai yo!" Means "let's start"...I think...I dunno XD I just put that in there cause it was random gibberish my friend said.**

**"Yadda" Means "don't wanna" or "no"...but I'm not sure of the spelling. Someone tell me how to exactly spell it, and I'll edit it, or else it'd be ROMAJI ABUSE. TEH HORROR!! XDDD Just joking. But yes, someone please tell me how to spell it...**

**XD I'm bored now. PSHIYUKZA.**

**I need to update my profile, cause half of the quotes in here were in my book...XD**


	16. Chapter 16

**Yeah...If you people keep on 'dying from laughter' I seriously will stop writing these. Why? Because I don't want to get sued for making you dying just because I'm writing something funny.**

**You know what. School can just go suck it up, eat bananas, and just go die. Seriously.**

**XD**

**Warnings: Just don't do anything to the cameras/lasers. Jeez.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixteen**

**_I will not ask whether Svalbard is a part of Greenland._**

* * *

"Mukahi-san, you shall have to do a make-up test," the teacher said. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

"..."

"IT'S ALL SHISHIDO'S FAULT!! HE MADE ME GO INSANE!!!"

"..."

"AGHHHHH!!!"

"..."

"SVALBARD'S A PART OF GREENLAND!!! YOU CAN NEVER DENY THAT!!"

"..."

"..."

"Mukahi-san, Svalbard is an island."

"Which is a part of Greenland."

"No, it's a part of Norway."

"Oh really? I thought it was a part of Denmark AND Greenland."

"It's a part of Norway."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Mukahi-san. I'm sure," the teacher said impatiently.

"I know! Then Nova Scotia's a part of Scotland!"

"No, it's a part of Canada."

"Oh really? So it IS a state then!"

"It's a province."

"That's what Shishido said. He's wrong."

"..."

"So...now what?"

"You take the make-up test, Mukahi,"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-..."

"Mukahi-san, please stop screaming."

"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

"Mukahi-san..."

"...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..."

"Mukahi-san!"

"...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..."

"..."

"I DON'T WANT TO TAKE THE MAKE-UP TEST!!!!"

"...Mukahi-san, you must take the make-up test."

"The make-up test can just go rot in hell!"

"..."

"Are you related to me?"

"Mukahi-san, I don't get why you're asking me that."

Mukahi snorted. "Because you're crazy."

The teacher sighed. "Mukahi-san, just because you're crazy, and I'm crazy, does not mean we're both related."

"You suck."

"..."

"I'm having a bad day."

"I think _I'm_ the one who's having a bad day, Mukahi-san."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really."

"Wanna bet?"

"Mukahi-san, just take the test."

"LET'S DUEL!"

"...Mukahi-san..."

"AHA! SO YOU'RE LYING!"

The teacher walked out. "I QUIT!"

"YAY!"

The teacher was admitted to the Mental Institute. Something about Geography Tests...

And all the while Mukahi went on with the rest of his day...by himself...because no one wanted to talk to him anymore. If he could drive a Geography teacher insane, who knew what he could do to them?

"Class, what did we learn today?" the math teacher asked.

"Don't talk to any of the regulars. They will make people insane," the class chorused.

"Good!"

* * *

**...I'm losing my touch...**

**DARN YOU!!! STUPID SEIGAKU!! WHY THE FRICK DOES HE HAVE TO HAVE THAT RIGHT WHEN IT'S NATIONALS?!**

**...go to like...onemanga . com and like...yeah. They have the latest PoT chapters and I'm really pissed right now. BOO HOOO. xD**


	17. Chapter 17

**Nya...I've been saying that alot. I think I'm just tired. XD Mukahi wouldn't like it if I kept it up though...maybe.**

**Teh authoress is losing teh touch!! OH NOES! XD But I might get it back once I go to school. School's insane. Yep. -nods-**

**Nya...Who's the vice captain of Hyoutei? Do they even have one? XD Oh, and I deleted the quotes in my profile because they were getting to be a bit too much...AND I START SCHOOL TOMORROW!! FUCK BITCHES!!!**

**Warnings: Same...**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventeen**

**_I will not talk about weight issues during tennis practice._**

* * *

Mukahi threw his tennis racket on the floor and pointed at Oshitari. "Yuushi! YOU'RE FAT!" 

Everyone within earshot was silenced. And staring at the two of them.

Oshitari just stood there looking at Mukahi blankly.

"YOU'RE 64 kg!! YOU'RE SERIOUSLY LIKE..FAT!"

"Gakuto, he's taller than you," Atobe said plainly.

"SO?"

"Of course he's going to weigh more than you."

"I'M ONLY 48!!!"

"Well then that means you need to eat more."

"I do not!"

"Yes you do."

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT!"

"DO NOT STEAL ORE-SAMA'S LINE!"

"OH REALLY?"

"YEAH REALLY!"

"..."

"That's it. Both of them have gone insane," Shishido said.

Mukahi pointed at Shishido. "YOU FATTY!"

"..."

"YOU'RE SOOO FAT!"

"I AM NOT FAT!"

"YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE EVEN FATTER THAN THAT FUJI GUY BACK AT SEIGAKU!

"I'M ONLY 60 kg! AND HOW IS THAT FUJI GUY FAT?"

"HE'S LIKE 53!!"

"YOU'RE 48! AND HE'S WAY TALLER THAN YOU!"

"OH REALLY?"

"YEAH REALLY!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"GO DIE IN A PITHOLE!"

"PIG!"

"ROOSTER!"

"CROW!"

"PAPER!"

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS BOTH OF YOU TO STOP YELLING!" Atobe yelled.

Mukahi pointed at him. "You're doing it too! FATTY!"

"ORE-SAMA IS NOT FAT!"

"SAYS THE PERSON WHO ATE FIVE HAMBURGERS ONE DAY!"

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT EAT COMMONER'S FOOD!"

"YOU'RE JUST LIKE THAT TAMAKI GUY FROM OURAN KOUKOU HOST CLUB!"

"SUGEE! MUKA-KUN READS GIRLY MANGA!" Jirou shouted.

Just then Sakaki-sensei in his oh so fine glory came onto the courts and was dumbstruck at what was happening around him.

"YOU FATTY POO!" Mukahi was shouting at Shishido.

"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?"

"BUMSCICLE!"

"..."

Atobe was yelling at some random first year. Why? The first year called him fat, that's why. And we all wonder why he didn't continue yelling at Mukahi...

Sakaki-sensei sighed. Even his captain had gone insane. Where was all this insanity coming from?

* * *

**LOLZ. I think Sakaki-sensei's going to quit pretty soon. His regulars aren't behaving like proper gentlemen. PSHH**


	18. Chapter 18

**Updates will be weekly, seeing as I don't have enough time in the world to update. With 5 hours of homework a day, please don't expect me to update everyday like I used to. XD**

**Oh, and I credit Eternal.Angel again. She gave me the braces idea. XD**

**Nya...**

**Warnings: May contain radioactively decaying biology-mutant cells. Please proceed with caution. Have a nice day**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eighteen**

**_I will not bring up the topic of braces ever again._**

* * *

"Today in Biology we will learn about the subject of teeth," the teacher announced. 

One student raised his hand. "Oh! Is that when people use braces to move them at weird angles so they look pretty?"

The teacher hesitated. "That's...one way to put it, yes."

Mukahi raised his hand. "Sensei, what are braces?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The teacher cleared her throat. "Ahem. Let's just begin with the lesson, shall we?"

"Hey!"

* * *

"What are braces?" Mukahi asked during lunch. 

Shishido spat out his milk. "Why are you asking such a stupid question like that? Especially when we're _eating_?"

"Well, some kid in my class talked about braces, and I want to know what they are," he said.

"Please don't tell me you really don't know what braces are."

"I don't..."

"Ore-sama knows!" Atobe smiled. "They use it on commoner's teeth to make them look all sparkly and pretty!"

Shishido twitched. "Nuh-uh. Not you too."

"What was that?"

"Never mind. Anyways, there's no such thing as commoner's braces. They're just braces."

Atobe raised his eyebrows. "Oh really?"

"Yeah, really."

"Oh really really?"

"Yeah, really really."

"Oh really really really?"

"Fuck you."

"Aha! Ore-sama demands that everyone get braces tomorrow!"

"..."

Shishido was glaring daggers at Mukahi. "It's all your fault!"

"Nuh-uh! If they're supposed to make teeth pretty, isn't it a good thing?"

"..."

* * *

"Ow...ow...ow...ow..." Mukahi was wincing every time he chewed. 

Shishido smirked. "Your fault...ow..."

"I HATE braces!"

"Your fault."

"These taste funny!"

"Your fault."

"They're going to give me gingivitis!"

"Your fault."

"They feel like someone's going to pull out my teeth!"

"Your fault."

"I'M GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF IT! AND THEN MR.TEDDY WON'T BE HAPPY!"

"Your fault...WHA?!"

"Mr. Teddy!"

"Who the FUCK is Mr.Teddy?"

"Oh, the teddy bear that I stole from Kikumaru."

Shishido stared. "You have a rival that you hate, and all you did was steal his TEDDY BEAR?!"

"Yuh..."

"You're lame."

"I am NOT lame!"

"And why did you call that teddy bear "Mr. Teddy"?"

"Because it's his name!"

"So...it's like, your friend now?"

"No. I poke holes in it every morning."

"You were concerned for his happiness."

"Yuh."

"..."

"You know, the Cheesecake Festival is coming up."

"Not interested."

"Why not?"

"I have braces now THANKS TO YOU!"

"You can still eat you know."

"No I can't."

"Why not?"

"They hurt too fucking much."

Mukahi brightened up. "I KNOW! I'LL ORDER ATOBE TO TAKE THEM OFF!"

"You're the one who started this whole thing."

"Well no fucking way."

"..."

Atobe came in, looking very annoyed. "These things hurt Ore-sama's teeth."

"Well no fucking way."

"Stop saying that," Shishido grumbled.

"Well no fucking way."

"..."

Just then Sakaki-sensei walked by, took one look at the trio standing around, and stopped. "Why are you all wearing braces?"

"..."

"Well no fucking way."

"SHUT UP!"

"..."

* * *

**Alright kids. Don't mention braces to Atobe. Chances are, you're going to get them. Bad.**

**School can go rot to hell. I hate all the homework. Stupid busy work -.- GRRRRR XD**


	19. Chapter 19

**XD I credit Eternal.Angel once again. UGH. I have my own ideas, yes. But something just keeps on coming up...O.o this is scary**

**Warnings: FUCKING STOP TOUCHING THE CAMERAS!!! XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Nineteen**

**_I will not insist that Care Bears will commit suicide._**

* * *

"The Black Death is when lots of people starved to death, right?" Mukahi asked

"No, retard!" Shishido said. "The Black Death was when people got the Bubonic Plague from fleas!"

"Their hygiene must've been really bad."

"No duhh."

"Couldn't they have used like, Loreal Kids or whatever?"

"First of all, they didn't have technology like what we have today. And second of all, why Loreal Kids?"

"They have really cool flavors!"

"..."

"Oh, and their shampoo smells really good."

"Do you get high off it?"

"Not really..."

"..."

"Anyways!" Mukahi looked over his Biology packet. "What's an omnivore?

"A mammal that's both an herbivore and a carnivore."

"Oh really? I thought it was the study of the Omnitrix."

"You watch Ben 10?" Shishido was staring.

"No...well...once."

"..."

"Anyways...so that means that Barney thing or whatever is an omnivore, right?"

"That type of dinosaur...is a carnivore."

"Oh, so the person inside the purple thing is a carnivore?"

"No, the person is most likely an omnivore."

"BUT YOU JUST SAID IT WAS A CARNIVORE!"

"The dinosaur's an carnivore, retard!"

"Costumes can eat?"

"..."

"Ore-sama does not want a Care Bear!" Atobe was yelling at Ootori about...something.

"But...but...it's a Care Bear! How can you not like it?" Ootori was nearly in tears.

Mukahi grabbed the purple bear from Ootori's hands and stared at it. "This is totally going to commit suicide one day."

Ootori looked shocked. "No she isn't!"

"She?"

"Yes, she!"

"I thought it was a he."

"..."

"And it's totally going to commit suicide one day."

"Why?"

"Because! It looks too happy! It has yin, but no yang! THAT MEANS THAT IT'S GOING TO GO INSANE FOR BEING TOO HAPPY AND IT'S GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE!"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Ootori countered.

"YES IT IS! YOU NEED CHAOS IN LIFE, OR ELSE LIFE ISN'T BALANCED! MODERATION, YO! AND ALSO, PEOPLE NEED BAD THINGS TO HAPPEN IN ORDER TO HAVE HISTORY! THIS BEAR IS TOO HAPPY AND DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN! THEY JUST PRANCE AROUND IN BALLERINA SLIPPERS AND BE ALL HAPPY-ISH!"

"..."

"You see, if you're too happy, you get bored and want to commit suicide. Or do something bad, like Light did."

Shishido stared. "You watch Death Note? Dude, you read too much."

"And yet I'm still as stupid as this..."

"Yeah..."

"Well Light PWNS!"

"He's the antagonist."

"He's COOL!"

"..."

"Care Bears aren't going to commit suicide!" Ootori was still being stubborn. Poor, poor Ootori. He was seriously going to get it.

"CARE BEARS ARE SERIOUSLY GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE! THEY'RE TOO FRICKING HAPPY!"

"No they aren't!"

"THEY'RE GOING TO MOLEST AND RAPE YOU AND THEN DISPOSE OF YOUR BODY IN A GARBAGE BIN WHERE YOU WILL ROT IN THERE FOREVER! AND THEN EVERYONE WILL SHOOT YOUR DEAD BODY AND NO ONE WILL CARE!!!!"

"..."

"JUST LIKE THAT FLY THAT MOLESTED YOU YESTERDAY!"

"That fly was not molesting me!"

"IT WAS SOOOOO MOLESTING YOU! HA! IN YOUR FACE, PIG!"

"FUCKING CALM DOWN!" Shishido yelled out.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN, HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU UNGENDERED EMO STALKER!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS AN UNGENDERED EMO STALKER?!"

"WHAT IT MEANS, IDIOT!"

"I HAVE A GENDER DAMMIT!"

"YOU...YOU...YOU CORN MUSTARD HONEY ONION FLAVORED PRETZEL!"

"..."

"FUCK YOU, DAMMIT! CARE BEARS ARE SOOOO GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE!"

Just then Sakaki came into the room. "Gakuto, Care Bears aren't real. They're just toys."

"..."

"Nya?"

"Oh..."

* * *

**Hum hum hum...XD**

**Yay!!!!**


	20. Chapter 20

**NYA!!! XD Thank God this week's a Labor Day weekend. WOOT**

**Nya. This actually happened like, yesterday. I was talking about dried mud and my friends were like 'Dried mud's just dirt, Anne' and I'm like "Oh."**

**I feel as stupid as Mukahi now. PSHH**

**Disclaimer: I just own...my life. Yes, that is all. xD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twenty**

**_I will not talk about dried mud ever again._**

* * *

"Why's the grass green?" Mukahi asked. 

"Because it just IS," Shishido answered for the umpteenth time.

"But it's green! There has to be a reason!"

"Gakuto, it's like this..." Oshitari launched into a big lecture about grass, the ecosystem, biology, and whatnot.

"Huh?" Mukahi still didn't get it.

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Haven't you ever taken a Biology course yet?"

"Yeah."

"So you should know these things."

"But that's the problem. I DON'T know these things."

"You need a tutor."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Ore-sama shall be his tutor!" Atobe announced proudly.

Mukahi glared at Shishido. "Now look what you've gotten me into."

Shishido just smirked.

"I dare you people to make mud cakes!" Mukahi said.

"Mud cakes?"

"Yeah, mud cakes!"

"Dude, that's stupid."

"Why?"

"Because only three year olds even bother with that."

"Then make a mud pie!"

"No."

"Mud bread?"

"No."

"Mud yoyo?"

"Definitely not."

"Mud Atobe?"

"Ore-sama likes that," Atobe said.

"No one cares," Shishido countered. "And no."

"Mud popscicle?"

"That's just disgusting."

"Mud computer?"

"No."

"Mud human?"

"Definitely not."

"Mud mouse?"

"No."

"Mud Tenimyu?"

"That's impossible."

"Mud jawbreaker?"

"NO!"

"Fine!"

"..."

"Dried mud?"

"What the hell?"

Oshitari sighed. "Gakuto, dried mud doesn't exist."

"It SOO does exist! For something to exist, its opposite has to exist as well!"

"Gakuto, it would be called dirt."

"No! Dried mud!"

"Gakuto, it's called dirt."

"DRIED MUD!"

"..."

"IT IS SOOO TOTALLY CALLED DRIED MUD!"

"Dried mud is the equivalent of dirt," Shishido said.

"Dried mud!"

"Dirt!"

"Dried mud!"

"Dirt!"

"Dried mud!"

"DRIED MUD IS JUST DIRT!"

"NO IT ISN'T! DRIED MUD IS STILL LIKE, HARD, BUT IT ISN'T LIKE, FLAKY LIKE DIRT!"

"MUD ISN'T CLAY YOU KNOW!"

"IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE, THOUGH!"

"NO IT ISN'T!"

"What if we mixed clay with dirt, though?"

"What kind of person mixes clay with dirt?"

Mukahi shrugged. "Hey, it could work, right? Then it'd be like...concrete!"

"Clay is brittle when it's dry."

"Not if you use playdough!"

"..."

"What?"

"It's not going to work."

"Why not?"

"Why do you insist on mixing clay with dirt?"

"Because it's fun and I have nothing better to do. Duhh."

"Right...and why don't you use this extra time to study?"

"I'll never be able to become smart, even if I study."

"True."

"So, all I can do is mix clay with dirt and call it dried mud."

"That's gross."

"Well I'm bored."

"Then play with Atobe's new Wii."

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT HAVE A WII! THAT'S FOR COMMONER'S!" Atobe shouted.

Oshitari sighed again. "Atobe, you have a Wii. Let's face it. You use commoners' things. It's a fact of life."

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT!"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Ooohhh. His Kingliness is dying out."

Shishido stared. "Kingliness isn't a word."

"Yes it is."

"Not it isn't. Just like dried mud doesn't exist."

"I TOLD YOU ALREADY, JUST MIX CLAY WITH DIRT!"

"WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO DO THAT?"

"I AM!"

"IT'S NOT GOING TO BECOME UNIVERSAL YOU KNOW!"

"YES IT IS!"

"IDIOT!"

"RETARD!"

"STUPID-HEAD!"

"I'M NOT STUPID, YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE NEGATIVE 600 IQ!!"

Atobe was banging his head against the table. Oshitari just walked away.

"..."

* * *

**Nya...-yawns- GRRRRR homework...**

**I finished my essay today. Now, I need to type up my science letter, and do my math homework. OH NOES!**


	21. Chapter 21

**PSHH. xD This came up in a MSN conversation with Eternal.Angel. Therefore, I credit her for the thingy...XD**

**Warnings: SUCKERS! I GOT INSURANCE FOR THE CAMERAS NOW! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twenty-One**

**_I will not insist on eating computer keyboards._**

* * *

"I'm hungry!" Mukahi whined. 

"Gakuto, just eat something," Oshitari said.

"Um, newsflash? WE'RE IN THE CLUBROOM!"

"..."

"Why are you always hungry?" Shishido asked.

"BECAUSE I JUST AM, DAMMIT!"

"Whoa...temper problems."

"YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE TEMPER PROBLEMS!"

"JUST FUCKING EAT SOMETHING, DAMMIT!"

"THERE IS NOTHING TO EAT. NEWSFLASH, PEOPLE, WE'RE INSIDE THE FREAKING CLUBROOM!"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR LOCKING US UP IN HERE!"

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS THAT YOU THREE SHUT UP!" Atobe's voice was heard from outside.

"But Yuushi isn't saying anything!" Mukahi whined.

"Dude, you're just making yourself look bad."

"SHUT UP!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" Atobe yelled.

"..."

Mukahi groaned. "I'm hungry."

"EAT SOMETHING, DAMMIT!"

"SHISHIDO SHUT UP!" Atobe's voice was heard once more.

Oshitari began reading Harry Potter 7 for the sixtieth time. He had nothing better to do.

"I shall eat my keyboard," Mukahi said suddenly.

"NO DON'T EAT IT!" Shishido yelled out. "IT'S BAD FOR YOU!"

Oshitari looked up. "Why would you care if he died or not eating a keyboard?"

"I don't want to get sued just because his parents think I murdered him."

"Ah..."

"But I'm hungry!" Mukahi was whining again. "Fine. I'll eat my water bottle."

"NO! DRINK THE WATER! INSTEAD OF EATING THE WATER BOTTLE!"

"THERE IS NO MORE FRICKING WATER IN THE WATER BOTTLE! I'LL EAT PAPER!"

"NO! DON'T EAT THE PAPER EITHER!"

"THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT?!"

"Paper tastes...weird..." Shishido was looked thoughtful. "EAT BREAD! OR CHEESE!"

"WE DON'T HAVE ANY OF THOSE! Let's see...I'll eat...uh...THE TUNER!"

"Tuner?!"

"YES! THE MUSICAL TUNER!"

"NO! DON'T EAT THAT EITHER! THAT'S BAD!"

"I SHALL EAT THE COMPUTER CHIPS!"

"NO! HOW ARE YOU GUNNA TYPE ON THE COMPUTER THEN?!"

"I don't know...spit the computer chips back out? But then I'd be hungry again! AGH!!!"

"URGH!"

"I KNOW! I'LL EAT ATOBE'S TENNIS RACKETS!"

"That you should so totally do," Shishido said.

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT WANT HIS TENNIS RACKETS EATEN!" Atobe's voice was heard once again from outside.

"I'LL EAT THE TENNIS BAG!"

"NO! DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING EAT THE FUCKING TENNIS BAG!"

"THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT? I KNOW! I'LL EAT THE UNGENDERED DANGEROUS OBJECT DUDE!"

"The ungendered wha?"

"The ungendered dangerous object dude!"

"Who's that?"

"The ungendered dangerous object dude, duhh!"

"Uh...okay."

"Yay!"

"WAIT! DON'T EAT THE UNGENDERED DANGEROUS OBJECT WHATEVER THINGY!"

Mukahi glared. "Then what am I supposed to eat?"

"I don't know..."

"EXACTLY!"

"JUST DON'T EAT!"

"BUT I'M HUNGRY, DAMMIT!"

"JUST WAIT! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO DIE OR ANYTHING!"

"URGHH!!"

"..."

* * *

"We have another important update. Mukahi Gakuto was admitted to the hospital right after he fainted Friday afternoon. Doctors have diagnosed him with hunger phobia. Please stay tuned for more important updates."

"Ii data," Inui said, scribbling madly onto his notebook.

* * *

**Nya! XD**

**Like, half of this story was plagarized from an MSN conversation. So, I shall credit Eternal.Angel once again!**

**Oh, and the whole "I shall eat my keyboard, tennis bag, etc. etc." was from me. Eternal.Angel was all like "NO! DON'T EAT THE (THING)!!" XDDD**

**XD**


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay. This actually happened to me Just today.**

**Poor birdie**

**-sobs- teh author is losing her touch! T.T**

**Disclaimer: No. Just no.**

**Warning: Uh...XD. I got insurance...so...XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twenty-Two**

**_I will not talk to a bird in five different lauguages._**

* * *

Oh yes. Another wonderful day at Hyoutei. Hyoutei always had wonderful days. Well, kind of. Some days were so crazy even Sakaki-sensei got overwhelmed. At least they had Atobe, but he wasn't really going to last much longer either. They probably should've just hired Ryuzaki-sensei from the start, but even she was going to get overwhelmed sooner or later with all the insanity going on. Yep. This was Hyoutei. 

Anyways, Mukahi was walking around the school minding his own buisness. Oh yes, he was minding his own buisness, until THAT happened.

He saw a bird and decided to walk up to it, just to scare it off. Yep, he was so bored he was going to scare a bird with his insanity.

Except, the problem was, the bird wouldn't move, no matter how close he got to it.

Just then Shishido walked by and stared at Mukahi. "Dude, what are you doing?"

Mukahi turned around. "The bird won't move."

"And why do you want it to move?"

"Well, it's bird! Whenever I get close to them usually they fly away!"

"Well no duhh. They're birds. Are you sure you aren't looking at like, a statue or something?"

Mukahi began waving his arms wildly in front of the bird's face. "Yes, I'm sure it's not a statue. It's blinking, but it just won't MOVE!"

"Ore-sama demands to know why Gakuto is doing a crazy dance in front of a statue!" Atobe said, walking up to them.

"I am NOT doing a crazy dance in front of a statue!" Mukahi retorted. "I'M TRYING TO MAKE THE DAMN BIRD FLY, BUT IT WON'T FLY!"

"..."

"Maybe it doesn't want to fly because it's too busy admiring Ore-sama!" Atobe said.

"You just got here," Shishido pointed out.

"..."

"Head, shoulders, knees and toes..." Mukahi started.

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Oh, great. He's going to sing head, shoulders, knees and toes and expect the bird to go fly."

"...knees and toes, knees and toes..."

"Ore-sama wants to quit."

"You can't quit. If you quit Sakaki-sensei will quit, and then eventually everyone else will quit."

"Good point."

Just then Oshitari popped out of nowhere. "Gakuto, what are you doing?"

"STOP DOING THAT!" Shishido shouted.

"NEVER!!!" Mukahi yelled out. "Head, shoulders, knees and toes..."

"THE DAMN BIRD ISN'T GOING TO FLY JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE SINGING THAT SONG!!!"

"Good point." Mukahi stopped. "I KNOW! I'LL SPEAK ENGLISH TO IT!"

"Uh oh..."

_"Hi. Bird. Drive."_

Atobe rubbed his forehead. "You just told the bird to drive."

"Oh really?"

"Idiot," Shishido reprimanded.

"HEY! FINE! I'LL SPEAK IN...UH...FRENCH!!"

"You don't know any French."

"Yes I do! Uh...vous...FLY!"

"I don't think the bird speaks French..."

Mukahi began waving his arms wildly. "FLY DAMMIT!!!!! SEE? I'M FLYING FOR YOU! NOW FLY!"

The bird just stared at Mukahi, then turned away.

"Gakuto...I think the bird's ignoring you," Oshitari pointed out.

"SHUT UP! I'LL MAKE IT MOVE, YOU'LL SEE!"

By then a large crowd had gathered around Mukahi and...the bird.

Mukahi had tried talking to the bird in English, French, Chinese, Korean, and even Greek, but obviously none of those would work.

"FLY DAMMIT!"

"JUST IGNORE IT!" Shishido yelled. "JUST WALK AWAY!"

"I CAN'T! IT WON'T FLY, AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF!"

"..."

"DAMMIT, FLY!"

"..."

"I KNOW!!! I'LL GIVE IT A TENNIS BALL!"

The crowd just shook their heads in shame. Really, what had they done to have such an idiot in their school?

Mukahi threw the tennis ball in the air. "FLY!!!"

"..."

"SUGEE!!" Jirou suddenly piped up. "THE TENNIS BALL'S GREEN!"

"..."

"Yeah...this school is now OFFICIALLY insane..."

"..."

A random student walked by the crowd and sighed. He really should have chosen Rokkaku over Hyoutei. Why hadn't he listened to his oh, so bright counselor? Maybe then he wouldn't be in a school filled with idiots. Correction, insane idiots.

"FLY!! YOU CAN DO IT!! SEE?!" Mukahi pointed at the sky. "IT'S THE SKY!! IT'S BLUE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FLY TO IT, DAMMIT!"

"Gakuto, you do know that if a bird flew all the way to the...atmosphere it would just die?" Oshitari asked.

"Of course. I'M TELLING IT TO FLY, DAMMIT!"

"..."

"FLY BIRDIE!! FLY!!!"

"..."

"PLEASE?!"

The bird just ignored him. Mukahi spent the rest of his day trying to make the bird fly. Obviously, it didn't work.

Poor Atobe. He had to deal with insane idiots everyday. Really.

* * *

**I just found out the most ridiculous thing ever...at school we have PoT in our library, and they freaking called "Drive B" "Drive V"**

**DRIVE V?! WTF?! WHAT KIND OF IDIOTIC NAME IS THAT?!**

**Now I'm going to play Go...XD**


	23. Chapter 23

**Nya. I'm changing my mind ONCE AGAIN. T.T. Anyways, due to hectic schedules and crap, there will, sadly, only be 50 things, instead of a hundred. My imagination doesn't go that well...so the next 25 are going to be from all of you. XD Yay!! -claps-. But you can only submit one thing because it would be unfair if someone had 5 things to their name or whatever. XDDD**

**Yeah...**

**Warnings: Insurance. I have it now so HA.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twenty-Three**

**_I will not watch Gintama ever again._**

* * *

Mukahi flipped a little through his math textbook. "So...what's the math homework for today?" 

"Page 56, problems 1-13," Shishido answered.

"Oh really?"

Shishido put down his pencil and stared at Mukahi. "Yes, really."

"Okay, but there's only 13 problems."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't KNOW why, just do it!"

"Fine!" Mukahi settled down and went to work.

Ten minutes had passed, without a sound. Which was an improvement, really, since this was HYOUTEI we were talking about. But, alas, the silence did not last long. Mukahi took one look at the textbook he was using and threw it out the library window.

"STUPID TEXTBOOK! GOSH DARN IT, I HATE YOU!!!"

Shishido looked up from his work and just stared at him again. "What happened this time?"

"I used the wrong textbook!"

"How did you do that?"

"That stupid math teacher gave us two textbooks, and I just HAD to grab the wrong one!"

Shishido stole Mukahi's math paper and stared at it. "Dude, you even did the wrong page, numbers, and SECTIONS too."

Mukahi grabbed the paper. "Didn't you say page 65, numbers 31-1?"

"...No."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Yes, I'm serious."

"YOU SUCK!"

"...How do I suck just because YOU copied the wrong problems?!"

"BECAUSE! I DON'T KNOW WHY, YOU JUST SUCK THAT WAY!"

"You make no sense whatsoever."

"WHATEVER!" Mukahi tore his homework and threw it out the window too.

And where was the librarian in the middle of all this chaos? Somewhere outside, trying to get the police.

"STOP THROWING EVERYTHING OUT THE WINDOW!"

"WELL FINE! AT LEAST I DIDN'T BLOW UP THE WHOLE SCHOOL WITH A HIGH-TECH BOMB LIKE KATSURA!!"

"Say who?"

"Katsura! From Gintama! DUHH!"

"Come again?"

"You MUST have heard of Gintama before."

Silence...

"YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF GINTAMA BEFORE?!"

Silence.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF GINTAMA BEFORE!!"

"SUGEE!!" Jirou came bouncing into the library. "Muka-kun, you watch Gintama too?!"

"YEAH! IT'S THE AWESOMEST SHOW EVER!!"

Shishido just stared.

"IT IS! I mean, COME ON!! It's awesome!! There's this girl named Kagura who like, eats 20 bowls of rice everyday!"

"..."

"And then there's this dude named Gintoki. HE'S SO COOL! He's like, the awesomest person ever!"

"..."

"And there's this guy named Yamazaki who looks like Echizen Ryoma, except taller and fatter! And he carries a badminton racket!"

"..."

"IT'S SO COOL!"

Jirou started jumping around. "Oh! Oh! And then there's this guy in Shinsengumi who looks a lot like Fuji! AND HE'S EVEN SADISTIC!"

"I KNOW!! I MEAN, HE KEEPS ON TRYING TO KILL THE VICE-CAPTAIN!"

"..."

"Zura-chan!!" Jirou said.

"It's Katsura!!" Mukahi grumbled.

"..."

"Zura-chan!!"

"Katsura!!"

"..."

"Zura-chan!!"

"Katsura!!"

"..."

"Zura-chan!!"

"Katsura!!"

"..."

"You know this feels a lot like episode 5, where they started throwing a bomb back and forth," Mukahi commented.

Shishido gave him a weird look. "They threw a bomb back and forth?"

"Well, it wasn't Kagura's fault! She didn't know what it was and pressed a random button! Then it started ticking!"

"Okay..."

"Oh, and Kagura's from this other planet."

"So it's Sci-Fi?"

"Well, kind of. But not really. There's samurai."

"So it's a sci-fi samurai based manga?"

"I guess..."

"That is SO weird."

"No it isn't!!"

"..."

"I like Sadaharu the best," Mukahi said.

"YOU LIKE INUI?! HE'S FREAKY, WITH THAT NOTEBOOK!"

"NO, THE DOG YOU IDIOT."

"...?"

"The dog in Gintama! His name is Sadaharu too!"

"..."

"XDDD."

"..."

"WATCH GINTAMA! NOW!"

"If I watch it, I might be as insane as you."

Just then the doors were thrown open, revealing the police that the librarian had brought back. The librarian pointed a shaky finger at them and cried out. "It's them!! The insane ones!!"

"Huh?"

"..."

The policeman looked confused. "Um, ma'am? They're students."

"THEY'VE BEEN POLLUTING THE SCHOOL WITH THEIR INSANITY!"

"..."

Mukahi twitched. "This feels a lot like Gintama now..."

"SHUT UP ABOUT GINTAMA!" Shishido shouted.

"NEVER!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

"..."

"Dude, you look like a sodium chloride gone wrong without any sleep."

"..."

* * *

**Yeah, this was weird.**

**I credit Demon Brat 2000 cause we were talking about homework and Gintama stuffs this weekend.**

**Oh, and I strongly recommend watching Gintama. It's the best! XD**


	24. Chapter 24

**zomg...I haven't updated in days.**

**Cause of school.**

**Shoo. XD**

**The things you guys submitted will be going from chapter 26-50. So...two more chapters for me!**

**Warning: None.**

**50 Things I Am Now Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twenty-Four**

**_I will not take geography class ever again._**

* * *

Mukahi twitched, staring at the projector hanging above his head. "Um, where's India?" 

The teacher said, "Mukahi-san, India's in Asia."

"But it's like...not there."

"Mukahi-san, it's the pointy thing."

"What pointy thing? You mean that thing that looks like a shoe?"

"That's Italy, retard." Shishido rolled his eyes.

"Okay...then that really weird island?"

"Which island?"

"The one that's like...I dunno. Out there somewhere."

"You mean Svalbard? That's a part of Northern Europe."

"Wait, isn't Northern Europe like...Asia?"

"..."

The teacher sighed. "Mukahi-san, Asia and Northern Europe are two totally different places."

"Oh...is that so?"

"Yes, Mukahi-san."

"So that means that Canada HAS to be a part of Japan."

"...Say what?" Shishido asked.

"CANADIAN JAPAN!! WHOO!!!

"..."

The teacher sighed again. Oh, why couldn't she have just taught at Seigaku instead?! Oh...the horror...she really should've listened to her professor...

"Canadian Japan...who here is Canadian Japan?" Mukahi looked around.

Shishido twitched. "There's no such thing as Canadian Japan, of course, unless, a person had Canada and Japan blood in them. And Canada isn't a part of Japan."

"WHY NOT?!"

"BECAUSE IT JUST ISN'T, RETARD!"

"YOU BIG FAT MEANIE!"

"I'M NOT THE 'BIG FAT MEANIE', BARNEY IS! Stupid Barney," Shishido muttered.

"Barney!!!! Woot! Go Barney!"

"Say what?"

"Barney's that really weird guy in House, right?"

"Um...no."

"HE'S THE ONE WITH THE CANE!"

"HIS NAME'S HOUSE, RETARD!"

"'BUT...I THOUGHT A HOUSE WAS THAT POINTY THING THAT PEOPLE LIVE IN!"

"...Oh...My...God...WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?!"

"WHY ARE YOU SO SMART?!"

"RETARD!"

"WEIRDO!"

"YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL CAT CORRECTLY."

"I CAN TOO!! K-A-T! KITKAT!"

"How'd you get KitKat out of cat?"

"Because-"

"Never mind," Shishido interrupted. No, really. He seriously did NOT want to know.

The teacher cleared her throat. "Um, class? Who can tell me where China is?"

Mukahi raised his hand. "I know!!"

The teacher sighed. "Yes, Mukahi-san?"

"IT'S IN AUSTRALIA!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

Shishido began banging Mukahi's head with a textbook. "RETARD!!! YOU HAVE A MAP RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU BUT NOOOO!!!! YOU JUST HAVE TO INSIST THAT CANADA IS A PART OF JAPAN AND THAT CHINA'S A PART OF AUSTRALIA!"

"I never said China was a part of Australia. I said it was IN Australia. Ha, beat that!"

"Idiot...it's practically the same thing."

"No it isn't!"

"Yes. It. Is."

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it is!"

"It is?"

"WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK!"

The teacher sighed again. "You two! STOP ARGUING!"

"I know!" Jirou exclaimed. "Maybe China and Australia are supposed to be different places!"

"..."

One student raised his hand. "Wait, then where the heck is Iceland? I thought it was in Taiwan..."

"Taiwan's subtropical," the teacher answered. "Iceland's cold."

"Wait, but I thought Iceland was green and Greenland was ice!"

"..."

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Well no shit, sherlock."

"Shishido-san!" the teacher reprimanded. "Stop saying that!"

"I abhor idiots who listen to Mukahi all the time."

Mukahi glared. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"It means you're MENTALLY challenged."

"Well you're horizontally challenged! AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!"

"This is Geography class we're talking about here."

"SPAIN'S A PART OF PORTUGAL!"

"NO IT FREAKING ISN'T!"

The teacher really wished she listened to her professor when he told her to teach at Rikkai Dai...

"Hey, why was 6 afraid of 7?" Mukahi asked.

One student gasped. "Oh! I know! Because 7 8 9!"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "No, retard! Because 8 9 10!"

"But...that doesn't make any sense!" the student protested.

"Exactly! It doesn't HAVE to make sense!"

"..."

"Dude, it's nice that Santa Claus gives kids presents and all, but when I was little, I was like, he's totally trespassing."

"..."

Mukahi frowned. "It's true! He just goes and sneaks in from the chimney! What if the fireplace is like...in use at that time?"

Shishido twitched. "Then Santa Claus burns to death."

"WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH THAT?! IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER!"

"It's the truth..."

"THAT'S JUST STUPID!"

"YOU'RE STUPID!!!"

"I QUIT!" the teacher screeched.

"Yay!" Mukahi jumped up. "That means I'll get to be the teacher!"

"I thought we were talking about Geography. You're just going to teach them how to be stupid."

"Nuh-uh! I'll teach them how to be smart!"

"..."

* * *

The principal twitched. "How is it that ever single person in our Geography course got a D or lower on our finals?"

"..."

* * *

**I ish having a minor writer's block...and I ish tired...T.T**


	25. Chapter 25

**Ah...mah last chapter! Well, for my idea, at least XDDDD**

**I got this idea awhile my doing my piano homework (obviously)**

**Oh, and don't forget to submit in an idea! If you're not sure if you have submitted one or not, it's really easy. Just search the reviews page XD**

**Warning: Um...swearing much?**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twenty-Five**

**_I will not do piano homework ever again._**

* * *

Ah...it was just another lovely day at Hyoutei. Yeah. Lovely indeed. Pshh. There was definitely something chaotic going around. Seriously. 

No, seriously.

"I hate piano homework," Mukahi muttered.

"Gakuto, it's your fault, since you were the one who asked your parents to let you take piano lessons," Oshitari said.

"Well, I only started, and look what they're making me do! Study about fermatas and scales!"

"Everyone has to study scales."

"Scales suck. Why can't I just steal one from a dragon and call it a day?"

"Okay...number one, dragons don't really exist. Number two, they're asking for musical scales...not dragon scales," Shishido said.

"I hate theory homework. It's like they're trying to teach me about science."

"It's just piano homework. Just do it."

"It's so hard!!!"

Oshitari sighed. "Okay, what's the first note in the A Major scale?"

"Um...E?"

"...No...A..."

"Well what the heck is up with that?!"

"..."

"I mean, seriously! What about the Z Major scale? THEY HAVEN'T TAUGHT ME THAT YET, HAVE THEY?!"

Shishido frowned. "Idiot, there's only A, B, C, D, E, F, and G. There is no 'Z'."

"Well that's just retarded."

"You're retarded."

"Ore-sama demands that you two stop this nonsense at once!"

"No one cares about your needs, Atobe," Mukahi shot back.

"ORE-SAMA IS GOD!! YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ORE-SAMA!"

"IF YOU'RE SO GOOD, WHY DON'T YOU JUST HELP ME WITH MY THEORY HOMEWORK, HUH?!"

Atobe grabbed the book from Mukahi and began reading. "The A flat major scale has four flats."

"Why does it have FOUR flats? I mean...seriously. It's not like it can DRIVE."

"..."

"I think he's mistaking it for something else..."

"Okay..."

Atobe continued. "The D flat major scale has 5 flats."

"BUT, THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! CARS ONLY HAVE FOUR TIRES, RIGHT? SO HOW CAN IT HAVE FIVE FLAT TIRES?!" Mukahi waved his arms wildly in the air. "THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER!!"

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Retard, we aren't talking about cars here, we're talking about MUSIC."

"Musical cars? I thought it was musical chairs..."

"Um...okay..."

"CAKE WALK!"

"Are you talking about the piece, or the game?" Oshitari asked.

"Um...there's a piece called 'Cake Walk'?"

"...Never mind."

"COWS!!!"

"..."

"I KNOW! WE SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE OUR OWN MANGA!"

Shishido stared. "How did we get from piano homework to manga?"

"I totally know what should happen first!"

"What is so important that even Ore-sama is being ignored?" Atobe asked.

No one answered.

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS TO BE ANSWERED! GET DRUNK ON MY SKILLS!"

"..."

Silence...

"Atobe, have you been reading Viz translations lately?" Oshitari asked.

"Get drunk on my skills...what the hell..." Mukahi muttered. "Whatever. Anyways, I totally know what should happen first!"

"We heard you the first time." Shishido began flipping through a tennis magazine.

"SOMEBODY SHOULD CHOKE ON A CACTUS!!"

Atobe dropped his glass of iced tea. "Did Ore-sama hear correctly? Did you just say that someone should choke on a _cactus?"_

"Uh...chyeah."

"..."

"Has Fuji gone into his head and mind-raped him, or what?" Shishido asked.

"..."

"I KNOW!! SOMEONE SHOULD GET KILLED BY A VIOLIN!"

Oshitari twitched. "I play the violin you know."

"Yeah...I think everybody noticed."

"So how does a person get killed by a violin, exactly?"

"I dunno. He chokes on the bow?"

"..."

"At least we're back on the topic of musical instruments...kind of..." Shishido commented.

"Yeah..." Oshitari sighed.

"Ore-sama wants a unicorn," Atobe said randomly.

"Um..."

Shishido started banging his head on the table. He really wished he'd stay home today...


	26. Chapter 26

**Um...well...Okay...**

**This idea was from WritesRandomCrap. The only problem is, "I will not steal Atobe's fortune for my own personal gain." was from Demon Brat 2000's story...**

**Oh wells...XD I hope DB2000 doesn't get mad...XD**

**Warning: Um...NaCl anyone? XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twenty-Six**

**_I will not steal Atobe's fortune for my own personal gain._**

* * *

Hyoutei. 

Hyoutei.

Hyoutei.

Great...

"WHAT?!?!?! ORE-SAMA'S BANK ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DEMOLISHED?!"

"Usu..."

"HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?!"

"Usu..."

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS THAT YOU TALK!!"

"Usu..."

"UGH!!!"

* * *

Yay...guess what Mukahi was doing right now. 

Being stupid, as always.

"Cool! I GOT A 500 COMBO ON DDR!!!"

"500? What, were you playing beginning level?" Shishido asked.

"No! Basic!"

"That's basically the same thing..."

"No it isn't!" Mukahi insisted. "Basic's harder!!!"

"Uh, yeah. By what? A mere fraction?"

"I thought DDR was a sport, not mathematics..."

"...Anyways, how did you get that?" Shishido pointed to the DDR pads.

"Oh, I bought them."

"How?"

"I hacked into Atobe's bank account, that's how."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Jeez, why are you being so hysterical? Gosh, it's only a bank account."

"Atobe's going to find out your know. Seriously."

"Yeah, and your point?"

"You're going to get in big trouble."

"Yeah, your point?"

"...I give up."

"Good."

Then Atobe came into the room with all his gleaming glory and eyed the DDR pad suspiciously. He shook his head and took a deep breath. "Ore-sama is sad to say that Ore-sama's bank account has been hacked into."

"..."

"It is a great tragedy that we all must endure," Atobe said with great emotion.

Silence...

"Is anyone even listening to Ore-sama?"

"Um...sure..." Mukahi rolled his eyes and took out his geography textbook. "Anyways, I can't believe I got a F on that geography test! What did I get wrong?"

Shishido coughed. "Oh, nothiing much. Just the fact that you said that HONG KONG was a COUNTRY."

"Jeez, no need to be so flippant..."

"You know what flippant means?"

"Of course I do!"

"Wow..."

"Anyways, why isn't Hong Kong a country? I mean, even HAWAII is a country!!!"

"Hawaii isn't a country, it's a island."

"I abhor your stupidity."

"You're stupider than me."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

"You're have such a querulous attitude!" Mukahi retorted.

"Stop using such big words!"

"Why should I? Your anger is too flaccid for me!"

"I think you used flaccid in the wrong context..."

"'Whatever!"

"IS ANYONE EVEN LISTENING TO ORE-SAMA?!"

"No one gives you any sedulous attention anyways..." Shishido commented.

"HOW DARE YOU!"

"And your insipid details of your life are too boring."

"ORE-SAMA WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ORE-SAMA'S BANK ACCOUNT!"

"It got eaten alive by a bear," Mukahi said.

"Bank accounts can't be eaten."

"I know. Oh, wait! Maybe it was raped by a rabid dog who contracted fleas the day before from eating Spanish cactus that Fuji brought to school that day!"

"Is there even a cactus called Spanish cactus?"

"I dunno. Maybe. You never know..."

"..."

"Ore-sama wants to know what happened!!!"

"I just told you. It got rap-"

"Ore-sama wants a PLAUSIBLE explanation," Atobe snapped.

"Gosh, you don't need to be so fastidious."

"Ore-sama wants to know what happened!!!"

"Your demands are the bane of my existence..."

"NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU WHEN YOU'RE USING SO MANY BIG WORDS!!!" Shishido yelled out frustratedly.

"Gosh, you're so vociferous whenever you yell!"

"Well no shit, yelling's supposed to be noisy."

"I wish you were in a moribund state so I could chop up your body and throw you in a ditch!!!"

"..."

"What happpen to Ore-sama's bank account?!" Atobe demanded.

"Ew..." Mukahi made a face. "His solecism is killing me!"

"..."

"Since when did Gakuto learn so many new words?" The teacher wondered aloud. Yes, the teacher was stalking Mukahi. But no one really cares, now do they?

"Wait!" Mukahi had a confused look on his face. "Is it stupider or more stupid?"

"You're both," Shishido said.

"Hey!!!"

Alas, Atobe never did find out what happened to his bank account on that fateful day...Maybe next time, eh?


	27. Chapter 27

**Haha...I'm updating again. I really need to update Sunspots. I'm halfway done with the chapter...actually one-third. I keep on thinking I'm making the characters OOC...but then I'm like "GAHHH!!!" Yeah, so I'm having some problems. XD Oh well. And it's time for me to do another oneshot soon. -smirks-**

**Warnings: I'm dead tired. That's all I have to say, and having to wear a dress on Thursday for my concert ISN'T helping**

**Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimers Apply.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twenty-Seven**

_**I will never argue with Atobe on which Tenimyu cast member is better.**_

**

* * *

**

"Ore-sama demands that you agree with Ore-sama that Katou Kazuki is the best Tenimyu cast member!" Atobe insisted, slamming his hands down onto the table.

"You're such a narcissistic jerk, no one cares about that Katou guy!" Shishido yelled back, slamming his hands down onto Atobe's coffee table as well.

Atobe glared. "Ore-sama is not a narcissistic jerk!"

"Yes you are! Katou plays YOU, remember?!"

"HOW DOES THAT MAKE ORE-SAMA A NARCISSISTIC JERK?!"

Oshitari coughed. "Atobe, it does."

"HOW?!"

"It just does," Shishido said. "Anyways, how did we get into this conversation?"

"I think it was when Jirou yelled out "Yanagi Kotaro is the best Tenimyu cast member ever!"," Oshitari answered.

"Actually, I think that kid's a bit too short. AND he looks like a girl."

"Well no duhh." Mukahi rolled his eyes. "He's freaking playing ECHIZEN. That kid is SHORT and he looks like a GIRL."

"Not as much as you," Shishido retorted.

"Um, excuse me? The guy right next to you looks girlier than me. AND he SEWS."

Ootori looked hurt. "Just because I sew doesn't mean I look girly! Does it?"

"Of course it doesn't!" Shishido glared at Mukahi. "Well for your information I think Saito Takumi's the coolest cast member around!"

"Um, you do realize that's Yuushi's actor, right?

"Yeah, so?"

"Well Yuushi's mine! AND YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!"

"Ouch, bit obsessive, aren't we?"

"AM NOT!"

"Yes you are."

"AM NOT!"

"Yes you are!"

"Remind Ore-sama why Ore-sama has to put up with this?"

Oshitari sighed. "Atobe, you're the one that brought them over your house. It's your responsibility to take care of them."

"Ore-sama does not understand why this responsibility was put in MY hands."

"You're the one that brought them here."

"Ore-sama wants to go home."

"This is your home."

"..."

"WELL I THINK KENN'S THE BEST CAST MEMBER!!" Mukahi shouted out.

"Wait, who was KENN again?"

"Ohashi Kenichiro, remember?"

"Um, is he someone I should be remembering?"

"HE WAS THE ONE WHO PLAYED YUUTA, REMEMBER?!?!??!"

"No..."

"YOU SUCK!"

"Dude, chill. He's just some random dude, okay?" Shishido suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at Mukahi.

"HE'S COOL!! HE'S ALSO THE VOICE ACTOR OF YUKI JUDAI!!"

"Who?"

"Remember? The main character in Yu-Gi-Oh GX!"

"...You actually watch that show?"

"Well I think he looks cool!"

"..."

"Actually," Ootori pointed out. "I think Zane's much cooler."

"Why? HE'S EVIL!"

"...'

"And he like, dies in the end!"

"Somebody dies?" Shishido asked. "Dang, that must be one emo story..."

Ootori had a look of horror on his face. "Really? He dies?"

"No, he just gets transported to another dimension. Judai needs to find him...except I dunno how's he supposed to do that." Mukahi shrugged. "Anyways, what were we talking about again?"

"Tenimyu..." Shishido said.

"Oh. Anyways, KENN is SOOO cool!!!"

"No he isn't...he's just a minor character."

"HOW CAN YOU CALL KENN A MINOR CHARACTER?!"

"He is. If Yuuta's a minor character, then KENN's a minor character."

"YOU VILLAIN!!!"

"Yuuta's a minor character. Therefore, KENN's a minor character..."

"I HATE YOU!!"

"Dude, chill."

"KENN'S THE BEST!!!"

"ORE-SAMA THINKS THAT KATOU KAZUKI'S THE BEST!" Atobe shouted over the megaphone.

Everyone covered their ears. Oshitari winced. "Atobe, I really don't think you should use a megaphone in your living room."

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS THAT EVERYONE AGREE THAT KATOU KAZUKI IS THE BEST TENIMYU CAST MEMBER AROUND!!!!" Atobe demanded.

"TURN THAT THING OFF!" Shishido yelled.

"NEVER!!!!"

"I HATE YOUR MEGAPHONE. IT CAN JUST GO DIE FOR ALL I CARE. STUPID THING!!!"

"ORE-SAMA'S MEGAPHONE IS FOR RICH PEOPLE!!!"

"YOUR MEGAPHONE IS A PIECE OF CRAP THAT CAN ROT IN HELL!"

"OI!!! TAKAHI!!!!! URUSAI YO!!!" Jirou called out.

"..."

"Huh?"

"Takashi? Who's that?"

"Does he mean that sushi guy back in Seigaku."

"I guess..." Shishido shook his head. "YOUR MEGAPHONE HAS LICE!!"

"Say what?"

"I was trying to think of a good comeback..."

"That comeback was awful..."

"..."

"I think Hiroki Aiba is the coolest Tenimyu cast member," Jirou said in his sleep. He flipped over to his side, hugging his pillow.

"Uh..."

"Let's not talk about this anymore," Mukahi suggested.

"Right...I don't want to be deafened by Atobe's deafening megaphone."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Atobe screamed.

"Ow..."

* * *

**Yes, Atobe. Your megaphone is retarded. XD**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hum di Dum...**

**Nothing to say here...**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twenty-Eight**

**_I will never pretend that Hiyoshi is a one-up (Super Mario) mushroom ever again. _**

* * *

Hiyoshi was having a really bad day. 

Like, a REALLY bad day.

The day had started out fairly normal. He was reading a book, like any normal being would. That is, until Mukahi asked a very strange question.

Now, why in the world would Mukahi ask such a strange question? Because it was normal for him.

But this question definitely was the most stupid question ever.

"Hiyoshi, are you SURE that you aren't a one-up mushroom?"

"Yes, I am NOT a one-up mushroom," he replied, trying to read his book.

"Are you REALLY sure you're not a one-up mushroom?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Hm..."

"..."

"If only we could dye your hair green."

"...?"

"Where can we find green hair dye..."

"...!!"

"HMMMMMMMMM..."

Shishido slapped Mukahi with his math textbook. "Would you please just shut up?! SOME of us are trying to do homework you know."

"Shishido, do you have any green hair dye?"

"No...why?"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Isn't it obvious? WE NEED TO TURN HIYOSHI INTO A ONE-UP MUSHROOM!! AND WE NEED GREEN HAIR DYE TO DO IT!!"

Silence...

"So, do you have any?"

"No..."

"Hm...maybe I can get green hair dye from a department store or something..."

"..."

"Oh!" Mukahi brightened up. "I need a vacuum too!"

"Why in the world would you need a vacuum?" Shishido asked suspiciously.

Hiyoshi shook his head and went back to his book.

"Because! We need to make Hiyoshi shrink!"

"Why?"

"Because, if he's a one-up mushroom he needs to be SMALL. He's too big right now."

"So, what's with the vacuum?"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Isn't it obvious? So we can suck out all the extra air and water that's inside of him!"

"Okay, one, that's just going to make him look like a withered old man. Two, HE'S GOING TO DIE FROM BLOOD LOSS!"

"WELL, HOW ELSE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SHRINK HIM?!"

"WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO, THAT'S THE POINT!"

"Oh...wait...maybe we could take him to a washer machine and force him in there..."

"YOU DO REALIZE HIYOSHI'S NOT A PIECE OF CLOTHING, RIGHT?!"

"AGAIN, FOR THE SECOND TIME, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SHRINK HIM THEN?!"

"WE'RE NOT FREAKING SUPPOSED TO!!"

"I KNOW!" Jirou piped in. "Maybe we could just take Waka-kun to a barber shop!"

"That's actually a pretty good idea," Shishido commented.

"I still say we stick him in a dryer so that he can shrink."

"THAT' JUST GOING TO KILL HIM!"

"WELL THEN WE SHOULD STICK HIM IN A VENDING MACHINE! SO THEN HE'LL COME OUT IN THE SHAPE OF A SODA CAN!"

"WHY DO YOU INSIST ON SHRINKING HIM THAT WAY!?!?!??!"

"BECAUSE HE'S A ONE-UP MUSHROOM, THAT'S WHY!"

"FOR YOUR INFORMATION, WE'RE NOT IN A VIDEO GAME!!!"

"Wait...I know..."

Pause. "What?"

"I KNOW HOW TO PROVE THAT HE'S A ONE-UP MUSHROOM!!"

"Oh God...don't you DARE."

Guess what happened...

Mukahi had decided that he would pretend to be Mario, tried to run right THROUGH Hiyoshi, and...unfortunately it didn't work.

"Ow..." Hiyoshi said feebly.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! Wait, you are. BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HECK?!"

Mukahi was rubbing his head. "Well, maybe it's because I'm not Mario! Wait...we need to find someone who looks like Mario! And have him run right through Hiyoshi!"

"FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME, WE'RE NOT IN A VIDEO GAME, AND HE'S NOT A ONE-UP MUSHROOM. HE'S A HUMAN WITH MUSHROOM HAIR!"

"..."

"..."

"I need to cut my hair," Hiyoshi mumbled.

"..."

"Gekokujou..."

"..."

"I'M TELLING YOU!! HE'S A ONE-UP MUSHROOM!"

"HUMAN WITH MUSHROOM HAIR!!"

"ONE-UP MUSHROOM!"

"MUSHROOM HAIR!"

"ONE-UP!"

"HAIR!"

Hiyoshi was emo for the rest of the day, all because of the argument about one-up mushrooms...who knew Mario could be so devastating?

* * *

Mario...is SUCH a hard game -- I can never get past level 5...GRRRR


	29. Chapter 29

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Twenty-Nine**

**_I will not insist that yaoi is the best thing in the world._**

* * *

Fangirls. 

Fangirls had strange ways of making people insane, mad, anxious, and depressed. And a hundred other emotions.

Some fangirls made other people want to kill themselves. Well, not really. It's just that, every time someone screams out "YAOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII", it gets on EVERYBODY'S nerves.

EVERYONE'S. Not that it was a bad thing, really, but the people at Hyoutei actually WANTED their ears to stay intact. They actually wanted to keep some part of their sanity while they were in middle school. Not that they had much of it, but still. Some was better than none. Even if it was only a little.

Anyways, Mukahi was walking down the street like any normal person would. Not that he was actually NORMAL, but crazy people could walk down streets, right?

By chance, a evil but crazy fangirl spotted him from 600 meters away, started screaming, and ran up to him waving her arms wildly. "ARE YOU MUKAHI GAKUTO FROM HYOUTEI?!"

Mukahi gave her a bewildered look. "Um, sure?"

"GAKKUN!!!!"

"...Say what?"

"YAOI IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!"

"And...what does that have to do with anything?"

"You're dating Oshitari Yuushi from um...whatshisface...Hyoutei Gakuen, right?"

Mukahi gave her a strange look. "One, maybe yes, maybe no. Two, are you stalking me?"

"One, YOU'RE TOTALLY SAYING YES. And two, no, of course I'm not stalking you, I just read people's minds."

"...So you're saying you're psychic?"

"No, I'm saying it's called sarcasm."

"Okay..."

"So, are you?"

"Am I what?"

"ARE YOU DATING OSHITARI YUUSHI?!?!?!?!"

"Uh...nix?"

"Nix? What is that, a type of cereal?" The random fangirl frowned. "I hate cereal, it's the most disgusting thing anyone has ever created."

"HEY!" Shishido cried out, popping out of nowhere. "DON'T YOU DARE DISS THE CEREAL!! THE CEREAL IS...LIFE!!!"

"I thought Biology was life..." Mukahi said.

"...No, peanuts are life." The fangirl rolled her eyes. "JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION!"

"I already did!"

"I'm not satisfied with your answer, therefore YOU WILL BOW BENEATH MY FEET AND TELL ME THE ANSWER THAT I MOST DESIRE!!"

"Wait, what?" Shishido had a confused look on his face. "How does a person bow beneath someone's feet?"

"SHUT UP! JUST BECAUSE MY READING COMPREHENSION SUCKS DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO DISS IT!!" the fangirl screamed.

"Um, it's called freedom of speech."

"Um, it's called my face."

"...Say that again?"

"YOUR FACE!"

"...She did not just say that."

"I did."

"Why am I having an argument with a stalker?"

"I'm not a stalker."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not, I haven't gotten my official stalking license yet."

"Wait...then that just means that what you're doing right now is illegal. Wait...stalking IS illegal..." Shishido frowned. "Dude, what the heck?"

"Uh, it's called eBay, duhh!"

"...You get stalking licenses from eBay."

"Yeah. By the way, have you heard the eBay song yet? It's awesome."

"...You get stalking licenses from eBay."

"Yes, I get stalking licenses from eBay. That's also where I get my food, clothes, and my house."

"You can buy houses on eBay?"

"Not sure..."

"..."

"Anyways...GAKKUN!! TELL ME, ARE YOU DATING OSHITARI YUUSHI OR NOT?!"

"Why are you asking me that question?" Mukahi asked.

"Uh, because I'm a yaoi fangirl, duhh."

"Ask someone who's actually dating a guy. Like that Tezuka person."

"Tezuka whatshisface is stupid."

"Dude, you just dissed the captain of Seigaku."

"Who IS this stalker girl anyways?" Shishido asked.

"SHUT UP!" the girl screamed, hitting Shishido's head with a frying pan. "NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR NEEDS!"

"Dude, tell that to Atobe," Shishido said, wincing.

"WHO IS THIS ATOBE YOU SPEAK OF?! I'D RATHER EAT ROTTEN MAGGOT TACOS THAN MEET THIS ATOBE PERSON WHATCHAMACALLIT!!"

"...Rotten maggot tacos?" Mukahi made a face. "You have one strange mind..."

"No, I'm just unique."

"Strange mind."

"Unique."

"HOW ARE YOU UNIQUE?! NO ONE WANTS TO EAT ROTTEN MAGGOT TACOS!"

"THAT'S WHY I SAID I'D RATHER EAT ROTTEN MAGGOT TACOS THAN MEET ATOBE!!!"

"Uh...wait...now I'm confused."

"SO?! ARE YOU DATING OSHITARI YUUSHI OR NOT?!"

"WHY SHOULD I ANSWER THAT? THAT'S LIKE, A VIOLATION OF MY PRIVACY!"

Shishido coughed. "Um, remember? She's a stalker."

"Oh...right..."

"How dare you call me a stalker!" The fuming fangirl stomped on Shishido's foot. "I am not a stalker, I'm just quietly observing my acquaintances!"

"You just met me five minutes ago," Mukahi reminded her.

"And 'quietly observing' literally means 'stalker'," Shishido stated.

"Wait, shouldn't you use 'technically' instead of 'literally'?"

"Well, no, since quietly observing literally means stalking. Not technically."

"Okay, now I'm getting confused."

"Have you ever taken an literary course before?"

"Uh, yeah..."

"...I don't believe you."

"Shut up."

"Would you please stop ignoring me?" the girl cried out. "All I wanted to know was if Gakkun was dating Oshitari Yuushi!"

"Say what?" Shishido asked.

"IS GAKKUN DATING OSHITARI YUUSHI FROM HYOUTEI GAKUEN?!"

"WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM GAKKUN?!"

"CAUSE IT'S HIS NICKNAME, THAT'S WHY!"

"STALKER!"

"AMEOBA!"

"Say what?"

"STOP SAYING THAT!"

Mukahi frowned. "Why do you insist to know whether I'm dating Yuushi or not?"

"Because..." the girl rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "BECAUSE YAOI IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE THAT FACT BECAUSE THERE'S A BILLION MILLION GAZILLION PEOPLE WHO LOVE YAOI!!!!! WOOOT!!!!!! GO YAOI!!!"

Shishido winced. "Ow..."

"Dude, shut up! No one cares if yaoi's the best thing in the world. I mean, seriously, COME ON. Just because YOU think yaoi is a good thing doesn't mean everyone else does. Seriously, that's only YOUR opinion. Not mine. So seriously, just go away. SHOO!!!! You have legs, don't you? You can walk, can't you? I mean, seriously, you just came over here and ran all the way just to ask me if I was dating Yuushi. Is that information really that important to you? You're really..."

Shishido rolled his eyes and groaned. "Great, he's ranting. AGAIN. Thanks alot, stupid fangirl."

"HEY!"

* * *

Nyahahahahar... 


	30. Chapter 30

**Kya. School is so tiring. It makes my eyes bleed. Almost.**

**I like playing DDR (random fact)**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirty**

**_I will not insist that Atobe has an imaginary grandma._**

* * *

"Psh. Yeah right," Shishido said, rolling his eyes. 

"It's true!" Jirou protested. "Atobe really DOES have an imaginary grandma!"

"Oh, so you're saying he pretends that he has a grandma?"

"Yeah!"

"Like an imaginary friend?"

"Yeah!"

"That egotistical piece of crap?"

"Yeah!"

"Psh. No way."

"Why not?!" Jirou whined.

"Why do you absolutely insist that Atobe has an imaginary grandma?"

"Uh, because he does?" Mukahi answered, rolling his eyes while walking towards them.

"Why do you people absolutely insist that Atobe pretends that he has a grandma with him?"

"Uh, because he does?"

"Why?! Exactly why do you imply such a thing?!"

"Uh, because we are?"

"Why are your answers so...UNEDUCATIONAL?!"

"Uh, because they are?"

"Dude, stop saying uh, it's making me get a brain wedgie."

Mukahi stared. "What the heck is a brain wedgie?"

"It's when you freaking annoy the hell out of me so then I can't think straight," Shishido grumbled.

"Wait, so you think in curves?"

"...It's just an expression."

"Wait, so then you think in swirls?"

"Uh...something like that."

"Weird..."

"..."

"Anyways, what were we talking about again?"

"Um, whether Atobe has an imaginary grandma or not."

"He does!" Jirou insisted for the hundreth time. "I mean, it's obvious!"

"What is?"

"In the locker rooms he's always like "Granny, do you like Ore-sama's shirt?" or "Granny, is Ore-sama too sexy for those peasants?"

Shishido made a face. "He actually says that. TO HIMSELF?!"

"Yes..."

"Well, I wouldn't know that, cause I don't have PE with him. But with that information that you just gave me, I really am glad I'm not taking PE with him."

"You get to choose?" Jirou had a confused look on his face.

"That's not what I meant..."

"Oh..."

"You know," Mukahi butted in, having a thoughtful look on his face. "I really don't get why they say 'meant' instead of 'meaned'."

"..."

"I mean seriously, saying 'meant' is just way too confusing."

Shishido rolled his eyes, wondering why in the world Mukahi was having these grammar problems. Today, of all days. "Dude, it's like eat and ate."

"Yeah, why IS it called ate?" Jirou asked. "I mean, can't they just say eated?"

"It doesn't sound right..."

"Well that's because you're used to saying 'ate'," Mukahi retorted. "I bet, if our grammatical usage was different and we use 'eated' instead of 'ate', you'd probably think it'd be quite normal."

"It just doesn't sound right."

"Well IF our grammatical us-"

"Would you shut up with the 'ifs'? We live in THIS world and it's not going to change. Okay?"

"I'm just implying..."

"It's like you implying Atobe has an imaginary grandma."

"Wait, I did do that."

"I know you did."

"Now I'm just getting confused..."

"Atobe does have an imaginary grandma though!" Jirou protested.

"No one gives a crap about whether Atobe really does have an imaginary grandma or not," Shishido mumbled.

"Did Ore-sama just hear you say that?" Atobe asked, popping out of nowhere. "Did you just say that you didn't care if Ore-sama had an imaginary grandma or not?"

"No, I said that I REALLY do care whether or not you have a imaginary bag of wrinkles."

"Twinkies?" Mukahi asked. "Did I just hear you say twinkies?"

"No, I said wrinkles."

"How does one have a bag of wrinkles?" Mukahi asked.

"Ore-sama demands that you shut up," Atobe commanded, pointing at Mukahi. He turned to Shishido. "And Ore-sama appreciates your required kindness."

"Dude..." Shishido stared at Atobe. "It's called sarcasm."

"It's called a sarcastic wit who doesn't know how to spell 'sarcasm' and keeps a bag of sarcastic twinkies to eat when he or she gets hungry during the day. It's called a sarcastic wit who doesn't know the meaning of life and refuses to believe that he or she has a right to live. It's called a sarcastic wit who keeps on complaining that he or she is turning emo wtih no way back. It's called a sarcastic wit who thinks he or she is falling into an endless pit of doom. It's called a sarcastic wit who doesn't know how to spell sarcasm. It's called a sarcastic wit who doesn't know the difference between a dress and a skirt. It's called a sarcastic wit who doesn't know the difference between sandals and flip flops." Mukahi took a deep breath. "It's called a sarcastic wit who doesn't know the difference between 'sadism' and 'masochism'. It's called a sarcastic wit who doesn't know what Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia is. It's called a sarcastic wit who doesn't know what being lazy means. It's called a sarcastic with who never watches TV. It's called a sarcastic wit who doesn't know the difference between a laptop and a desktop computer."

Silence...

"Um, you do know that half of those didn't even make sense, right?"

"...I thought it was pretty interesting."

"Ore-sama thinks he should be given credit for at least ranting that long," Atobe stated.

"You can rant longer," Shishido pointed out.

"With your imaginary grandma," Mukahi added in.

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT HAVE AN IMAGINARY GRANDMA!" Atobe yelled out.

"Wow...that was a slow reaction."

"Yeah...I think we mentioned it about five minutes ago before you started ranting."

"..."

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT!"

"..."

"Actually, I change my mind," said Shishido, walking away. "I think he really does have an imaginary grandma."

"..."

* * *

"Atobe Keigo has fallen into a state of trauma. No one knows the cause. Maybe it's because of his imaginary grandma," the reporter stated in an bored voice. She really didn't get why there was so much crazy stuff happening in Hyoutei. Ir really bugged her, and she definitely thought this whole insane thing was getting out of hand, and boring.

"No, really. He did. He pretends he has an imaginary grandma and sings in the shower for her every morning, afternoon, and evening."

"..."

"Wait, he takes three showers in the day?"

"..."

* * *

**RAWR...xD**


	31. Chapter 31

**XD...**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirty-One**

**_I will never talk to Shishido when he has a pet Chocolate Teddy Graham_

* * *

**

"Oh my flying cow..."

"..."

"Are you freaking serious?"

"..."

"ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?!"

"Yes..."

Mukahi gasped aloud. "ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME OR ARE YOU JUST SERIOUS?!"

"Didn't I already answer that?" Shishido asked.

"Uh, yeah. But the problem is, you're petting a teddy graham."

"So?"

"A CHOCOLATE teddy graham."

"Your point?"

"That's not NORMAL, Shishido!"

"So?"

"..."

"I think Gakuto's insanity has transferred onto Shishido," Oshitari stated.

"..."

* * *

"And, now, please explain to me why you have a chocolate teddy graham as a pet," the judge went on in a bored voice. Really, he didn't get why all these insanity cases were coming to the court of LAW. Nor did he get why they were all coming from Hyoutei. 

"Um, because I like chocolate teddy grahams," Shishido answered.

"This is very interesting. Now, do you remember why you thought of having that as a pet?"

"No."

"Do you remember anything about this topic at all?"

"No."

"Ah, so you infatuation for your pet has affected your memory, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Um, I don't know...I think I forgot."

"Can you give me an example of what you've forgotten?"

"...I can't...I forgot."

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Now I'm thinking the judge is insane too..."

The judge glared. "Hush. Now, all your responses must be oral, OK? What school do you go to?"

"Oral."

"...That's not what I meant."

"Oh..."

"Do you remember how you came to think of a chocolate teddy graham as your pet?"

"Well...I kinda remember someone."

"Can you describe the individual?"

"He was about...medium height and had a beard."

"Was this male or female?"

"I'm sorry...but that's just the most stupid question I've heard all day. I just said the person had a beard."

"..."

"This retarded!" Mukahi complained. "WHY IS THE JUDGE SO FREAKING INSANE?!"

"..."

Shishido continued petting his...chocolate teddy graham...thing..."Maybe you're just the one who's insane."

"Says the person who's petting a cracker!"

"Shush! You're hurting poor Peter's feelings!"

"...Peter?"

"Yes, Peter. Got a problem with that?"

"Yes...YOU JUST NAMED A FREAKING CRACKER PETER!!"

"..."

"Ore-sama's brain is pernamently scarred from your random bouts of stupidity." Atobe said.

"...You should say something stupid."

"...Stupid people are stupid, but that doesn't include me. I, Atobe Keigo, have said this forcibly due to Shishido's constant tirades and outports of emotional stupidity as I watch him with emotional indifference. Happy now?"

"That's just stupid."

"You just told me I had to say something stupid."

"..."

"Nylon is stupid..." Mukahi said randomly.

"..."

"What? It is!"

"Isn't nylon like, rubber?" Shishido asked.

"..."

"He did NOT just ask that question." Mukahi exclaimed.

"Are both of them stupid now?" Hiyoshi asked. He randomly popped out of nowhere. No one knows how he came to be. And no one shall ask.

"Nylon is rubber, isn't it?"

"...Seriously, Shishido. Pantyhose is made out of nylon."

"Oh, so girls wear rubber when they're wearing dresses? Wait, that doesn't make any sense..."

"..."

"Oh well. I don't think it's supposed to make sense anyways."

"..."

"ZOMGLOLWTFBBQ SHISHIDO BECAME ST00PID!!!" Mukahi cried out, waving his arms and jumping out a window.

"..."

"Ore-sama has now...died." Atobe fainted.

"..."

Hiyoshi and Oshitari were silent. Hiyoshi walked away, while Oshitari ran off mumbling something about buying groceries.

And what was Shishido doing this whole time? Continuing to pet the teddy bear like the insane person he is.

"Wait, isn't Mukahi the one who's supposed to be insane?"

"..."

* * *

O.o this was totally and completely random...XD 


	32. Chapter 32

**Nya. I'm so tired. Stupid...TESTS And I hate math right now DX**

**OO Um...yeah, I just realized that forgotten hyoshi said never mind to the first idea. Oh well...I'll use both then XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirty-Two**

**_I will not eat anything spicy when I'm sick._**

* * *

"Gakuto, no," Oshitari said. 

"Please!!! Just one!!!" Mukahi begged.

"Gakuto, you're sick."

"So? I can still eat stuff, right?"

"Gakuto..."

"Please!!"

"Gakuto, kimchi is definitely not good for you when you're sick."

"Who says I can't eat anything spicy when I'm sick?!" Mukahi demanded.

"Remember last year? When you got the flu? You ate those hot cheetos and threw up three hours later."

"That was last year!" Mukahi argued. "Please!!!!"

"Why do you like kimchi so much anyways?"

"Because it's food?"

"Gakuto..."

"Fine!" Mukahi thought for a moment. "It's because it's spicy!"

"Gakuto, you can't eat anything spicy while you're sick. The doctor said so."

"Who cares what the doctor says?!"

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Um, hello? The doctor's like, the doctor, that's why we have to listen to him. And it's your fault for getting sick."

"What?! All I did was forget to bring my jacket during tennis practice!"

"Exactly."

"Well fine!" Mukahi made a face. "I'll just not eat kimchi! Then I'll just go emo and die and all of you'll mourn over my dead body!"

"Gakuto, why exactly are you so obsessed with kimchi?" Oshitari demanded.

"I just answered that! Because it's spicy!"

"Do you really like spicy food all that much?"

"No...just kimchi."

"Then just eat something else."

"I can't!!" Mukahi protested. "Kimchi's the only thing that's been in my mind! Everytime I think about food it's always kimchi this, kimchi that! It's terrible, I tell you! Terrible!"

"..."

"I want kimchi!!!"

"..."

"Kimchi!!"

"Gakuto, what else do you want to eat besides kimchi?" Oshitari asked again.

"Um...kimchi?"

"Besides that."

"Crayons!"

"Crayons aren't edible."

"Hydrogen peroxide?"

"That's a chemical."

"Salsa."

"That's spicy too."

"Erasers?"

"Not edible."

"Telephone cord?"

"Dude, why are you thinking of eating unedible stuff?" Shishido asked. "What's wrong with you?"

"I want kimchi!"

"You can't have kimchi," Oshitari repeated. "What about soup?"

"Only if it has kimchi in it."

"Fries?"

"Do you have kimchi flavored fries?"

"...Ramen?"

"Kimchi ramen!!"

"...No."

"Ugh!!" Mukahi cried out in frustration.

Shishido frowned. "Here." He handed Mukahi something that looked alot like strawberry pocky.

Mukahi sniffed the contents suspiciously and took out a piece. He popped it into his mouth and his eyes grew wide. "Shishido, I never knew they had kimchi flavored Pocky!"

Oshitari glared at him. "Shishido! How could you?! You know he can't eat spicy stuff when he's sick, and yet you actually gave him kimchi flavored Pocky! I trusted you! Now Gakuto's going to get even more sick and it's going to be all your fault! Shishido Ryou, I hope you get kicked by a trash can, thrown into a lake where you'll get a skin infection, and get executed by the guillotine!"

"Well, Pocky's usually made with artificial flavorings, right?" Shishido explained. "So it's not really kimchi spice or anything, it's just artificial flavoring."

"..."

"And why did you say you wanted me to get executed by the guillotine? I don't think any such thing exists anymore."

"Fine. I hope somebody chops off your head."

"Wow..._somebody's_ being overprotective."

"I am not!" Oshitari argued.

"Now you're in denial like Atobe usually is."

"Ore-sama is _not_!" Atobe cried out from somewhere outside.

"Wow...he heard that?"

Mukahi made a face. "Ew...kimchi Pocky tastes terrible. It's like, spicy and sweet at the same time."

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Then stop _eating_ it, dumbass!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's kimchi flavored!"

"Dude...kimchi's like, brainwashed you or something."

Mukahi suddenly stood up and took a deep breath. "If I was brainwashed by kimchi then all I'd think about would be kimchi. I am not brainwashed by kimchi. Therefore, I'm not always thinking about kimchi."

"Your logic makes no sense whatsoever."

"If my logic makes no sense, then therefore I have no logic. I have logic. Therefore my logic makes sense."

"...Say what?"

"His mind, Shishido," Atobe called out. "Clearly he's lost it."

"He lost it a long time ago. There's absolutely no hope for him," Shishido called back. He shook his head, turning back to Oshitari. "So, what do we do now? Do we take him back to the insanity ward or do we tie him up here?"

"KIMCHI!!!"

"..."

* * *

**This totally sucked...but I'm way too tired right now stupid homework...**


	33. Chapter 33

**XD**

**Yeah...I abuse XD way too much during IM conversations.**

**By the way, I credit My Dad is Mr. Clean once again for the whole Kabaji thing that will later come up in this chapter. XD**

**"You don't have to worry, I'm perfectly crazy." Is credited to Demon Brat 2000 XD Nice...**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirty-Three**

**_I will not attack Shishido, get tied up in a tennis net, and get caught in a basketball net upside down._**

* * *

"Dude, what the hell?" Mukahi frowned, looking at his homework that he was doing in the middle of tennis practice. "I just spelled water wrong." 

Shishido groaned. "Maybe that's because you're doing your homework during tennis practice!"

"Or maybe he just doesn't know how to spell correctly," Taki cut in.

"True..."

Mukahi glared. "Stop ganging up on me! So what if I can't spell water correctly, huh? Got a problem with that?"

"Yes, considering that you're in freaking middle school, I'd actually think you'd be able to spell water by now."

"Maybe I just have a small spelling capacity in my brain."

"There is no such thing."

"Shut up!"

"..."

"Atobe's fugly," Mukahi said randomly, finishing up his science homework.

"Ore-sama is not fugly!" Atobe cried out in distress. "How could you ever think Ore-sama was ever fugly?"

"Um, because you are?" Shishido rolled his eyes.

"How dare you! Ore-sama has done good to the society! Ore-sama has saved trees and reduced carbon dioxide in the air by 1.06 pounds!"

"How'd you measure all that?"

"He didn't," Mukahi mumbled. "He got Greenbook from Facebook and it measure how much carbon dioxide he reduces everyday."

"He has Facebook?"

"Doesn't everybody own one of some sort?"

"For Atobe it's really weird. I mean, isn't he going to say 'Facebook is for peasants' or something?"

"Facebook is _not _for peasants!" Atobe argued. "It's for everybody!"

"I stand corrected." Mukahi said.

"Psh. Sometimes I wonder if Atobe really has a negative 65 IQ," Shishido commented.

"He probably does."

"You shouldn't be talking, 'Mr. I don't know how to spell water'."

"HEY!" Mukahi cried out. "TAKE THAT BACK!"

"I will not!"

"You!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!" Mukahi attacked him.

Or, at least he tried to. He tripped over a tennis racket and got tangled up in a tennis net.

"Idiot. At least watch where you're going before you try to attack me next time, won't you?"

"WHO PUT THAT TENNIS RACKET OVER THERE?!?!?!?!?!!"

No one answered.

"SOMEONE ANSWER ME!!!"

"Dude, it's called a tennis court," Shishido explained impatiently. "Tennis rackets are allowed to lie around, y'know."

"WHY IS IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COURT THOUGH?!"

"Cause it's called a tennis court."

"THAT' JUST UNCOUTH!!"

"You used 'uncouth' in the wrong context."

"Well you know what!"

"What?"

"I don't know, I forgot what I was supposed to say."

"I HATE it when people do that," Shishido exclaimed. "They're all like 'you know what?!' and I always answer 'what?' and sometimes they're like 'guess!' and I'm always like 'I have no clue' and they start giggling and then they say 'I don't know either!'! It's so retarded, and it wastes like, a minute out of my life."

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Oh, gee, great. A minute. Big difference there."

"You're retarded as well."

"Hey!" Mukahi did his super acrobatic move of DOOM and tried to tackle Shishido again. Except, he got tied up in a basketball net this time.

"WHAT THE FRICKING -bleep- IS THIS BASKETBALL NET DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF A TENNIS COURT?! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE -bleep- IS UP WITH YOU PEOPLE?! DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANY -bleep- COMMON SENSE?!"

Atobe winced. "Stop using such uncouth language! It makes Ore-sama's ears hurt!"

"Oh, you don't have to worry," Shishido explained. "He's perfectly crazy."

"Shishido, you do realize that sentence right there was extremely contradictory?" Oshitari asked.

"Yep."

"I see."

"Yep. And by the way, you don't have any common sense either, Gakuto."

"AT LEAST I DON'T FREAKING NAIL A BASKETBALL NET IN THE MIDDLE OF A TENNIS COURT!"

"Who exactly put that over there anyways?" Shishido wondered, ignoring Mukahi.

"HEY!! LET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!!!"

"Usu."

All eyes turned to Kabaji who was standing innocently beside Atobe.

"Are you serious?!"

"Usu."

Mukahi gasped dramatically. "Behind those dull, lifeless eyes is a criminal on the loose!!"

"...He's just Kabaji."

Amane snorted. "Pfft...Kabaji...cabbage. Get it?!"

Everyone stared.

"Eh?" Jirou blinked. "SUGEE! IT'S A STRANGER!!"

"No, seriously, who is he?"

"Dunno...let's shoo him away."

Alas, Amane was shooed away from Hyoutei. Even though he wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place.

"Dude," Mukahi said randomly. "I wanna like, go to Seigaku and diss them all."

"Can't. Fumihiro something something already did that," Shishido said.

"Since when?!" Mukahi demanded.

"Like, a few weeks ago. I think she's related to Hiyoshi."

All eyes turned to Hiyoshi.

"She's not related to me. We just happen to have the same last name."

"..."

"Gekokujou."

"..."

"Hey!" Mukahi said. "There was this one time when I read some manga in America, and they replaced 'gekokujou' with 'overthrow' or something. I was like, what the frick, do these translators actually know what they're doing? I mean, how hard is it to translate stuff properly?"

"I bet that manga was called 'Prince of Tennis'," Shishido said under his breath.

"No, really now," Oshitari remarked sarcastically.

"OH MY GOSH!!!" Mukahi cried out. "YUUSHI KNOWS THE LANGUAGE OF SARCASM!!!!

Shishido yawned. "You do realize you're still stuck in that net, right?"

"Right...GET ME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!"

"No."

"PLEASE?!"

"No."

"YUUSHI!"

Oshitari coughed.

"PRETTY PLEASE?! WITH A CHERRY ON TOP?!"

"..."

"AND A TOMATO!"

"Okay, fine!" Shishido growled. "We'll get you down, but only because I don't want to know what comes next after the tomato!"

"YAY!"

"..."

* * *

**XDDD Alas..I updated! XD**


	34. Chapter 34

**Um...yeah...XDDDDD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirty-Four**

**_I will not argue with Mukahi about the best flavor of pudding._**

* * *

"Ugh! I disagree!" Mukahi cried out, throwing his spork at Shishido. "How can you not like green tea pudding?" 

"Because it's green tea, duhh." Shishido growled. He picked up the spork. "You know, I never get why they call this a spork and not a foon."

"That's cause foon sounds like baffoon."

"Or balloon."

"Ugh, whatever. I hate literature anyways."

"..."

"Well, green tea flavored puddng is like, the best pudding flavor there is."

"It's green tea..."

"Well it's better than chocolate. Chocolate pudding is disgusting."

"Hey!" Jirou pouted. "I like chocolate pudding!"

"HOW CAN YOU LIKE CHOCOLATE PUDDING?!" Mukahi shook Jirou. "HOW?! CHOCOLATE PUDDING IS LIKE, CHOCOLATE AND MILK MIXED WITH WATER AND LIKE, SOME OTHER THING!"

"Ow..."

"Gakuto, stop killing his brain cells. He needs at least a few to be able to live, you know," Oshitari said.

"Okay, fine." Mukahi let go. "But seriously, the only good pudding flavors out there are green tea, tapioca, and like, coffee."

Shishido made a face. "Coffee?"

"Yeah, coffee!" Mukahi shouted in his face. "Got a problem with that?!"

"Y'know I'm right here. You don't have to shout."

"Well I like shouting."

"...Just eat your pudding."

"NOT UNTIL YOU ADMIT THAT GREEN TEA PUDDING IS THE BEST."

"By the way, what in the world is Yorkshire Pudding?" Shisihdo asked. "Like, is it custard stuff or what?"

"Um...I think it's like, a meat product or something."

"Oh...then never mind."

"BUT GREEN TEA PUDDING IS THE BEST!!!"

"NO ONE KNOWS WHAT GREEN TEA PUDDING IS!"

"UGHH!! YOU CANNIBAL!!!"

"Wait, what? Cannonball?"

"URGH!! YOU HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME THAT GREEN TEA PUDDING IS THE BEST!"

"I think that like...strawberry pudding is the best," Shishido said.

"STRAWBERRY PUDDING IS ARTIFICIAL!! IT'S LIKEEATING ERASER CHEMICALS MIXED WITH WATER, SODIUM, AND 1 PERCENT STRAWBERRY JUICE!"

"Wait, where did the sodium come from?"

"I dunno. I mean, glucose always has salt in it, right?"

"I thought it was sugar."

"UGH! WHATEVER! STRAWBERRY PUDDING IS HORRIBLE!"

"Would you mind?!" Shishido demanded. "My ears _are_ trying to survive at least five years without you blasting your throat horn around."

"Shishido, I think you mean vocal chords," Oshitari stated calmly.

"Ugh. Same difference."

"That is SUCH a contradictory statement," Mukahi complained. "Same and different are like, two completely different polar opposites."

"Well gee, it's better than arguing about pudding."

"GREEN TEA PUDDING IS THE BEST!!"

"I like lime Jello," Oshitari said.

"Ew."

"..."

"Lime Jello's just like...artificial flavoring. Seriously."

"It's refreshing on a hot summer day."

"IT'S DISGUSTING!! HOW CAN YOU LIKE IT?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAINS?!?!?!?!

"Um, I hate to interrupt, but I think Oshitari only has one brain," Shishido said.

"BUT HE'S SO SMART!!!"

"If he had two he would have exploded a long time ago."

"What? From an information crisis?"

"No, from having too big of a head."

"Ore-sama likes orange pudding," Atobe said in his sleep. Yes, he was SLEEPING. We do not know why he was sleeping, he just WAS. Too bad he didn't have his special Mizuki plushie with him. But let's not talk about that.

"Ew." Mukahi made a face. "Gross. _Orange_ pudding?! That's like saying "I like eating cars."

"...Oranges and cars are two totally different concepts," Shishido said.

"You mean foods."

"A car can't be edible you dolt."

"Well, since we have all this random new technology, there could be a possibility to have cars be edible to humans."

"...No mammal can eat a freaking car, not even a squirrel."

"Why would a squirrel be able to eat a car if a human can't?"

"Well I dunno, Mr. Green Tea Pudding Obsessive Freak."

"Well gee, Mr. Strawberry Pudding Obsessive Freak, I didn't' know you were so touchy on the subject of cars."

"I'm only touchy on the subject of cars when you talk about regular humans EATING them."

"WHY CAN'T HUMANS FREAKING EAT CARS?!"

"CAUSE THEY'RE NOT EDIBLE TO HUMANS, IDIOT!"

"I still think green tea pudding is the best that's out there."

"Can we like, not talk about random pudding flavors?"

"No..."

"UGH!!" Shishido cried out in frustration and threw a tennis ball at Mukahi's head.

"Okay, seriously, that's what a kindergartener does," Mukahi said, ducking. "Let's not act like kindergarteners."

"How would you know how a five year old acts?"

"I have a four year old little brother..."

"Ok, seriously, what kind of influence is that?"

"Hey!"

"It's true!"

"Ugh..."

"You know what I find the most stupid thing ever though?"

"What?"

"That shirt that you wore last Saturday that said "Orchestra: Where string players come together."."

"Well, it's true."

"It's a stupid shirt. I didn't get it until like...yesterday."

"Oh gosh...like, while I was walking home on Saturday, I bumped into this guy into my science class and he was all like 'Gakuto, why do you wear such sexually provacative shirts?'. I was just like 'uh...'."

"I bet you just wore that shirt to impress your 'beloved Yuushi'."

"Nuh uh! I just wore it cause it was GREEN!"

"...That is SO uncool."

"..."

"I'd rather argue about pudding than be in this conversation."

"Right...green tea pudding is the best."

"No it isn't."

"It's healthier for you."

"No it isn't."

"It has those anti-oxidants or whatever you call them."

"Sure..."

"YOU MUST AGREE WITH ME THAT GREEN TEA PUDDING IS THE BEST!" Mukahi screamed out, throwing a spork at Shishido's head.

"Right, and what about that kindergartener lecture you just gave me like, two minutes ago?"

"SCREW THAT!!! AGREE!!!! I COMMAND YOU TO, OR ELSE YOU'LL BE SENT TO THE GUILLOTINE!"

"What's up with all this guillotine crap? Are you guys like, studying the French Revolution or what?"

"AGREE WITH ME!!!"

"SCREW YOU!!!"

And thus...another wonderful day at Hyoutei.


	35. Chapter 35

**You know...now that I realize it, I only have 15 more things to go...OMFG!!!!! XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirty-Five**

**_I will not babysit Echizen Ryoma ever again._**

* * *

"Atobe, why the heck are we here?" Shishido asked. 

"Ore-sama has orders from Tezuka to babysit Echizen for a day."

"...Say what?"

"We have to babysit Echizen Ryoma."

"From Seigaku?"

"Yes, from Seigaku. What other Echizen Ryoma's do you k now out there?"

"He's freaking 12, why the heck do we have to babysit him?"

"Ore-sama does not know of the details just yet."

"Atobe, why are you even considering this request?" Oshitari inquired.

"..."

"Aha!" Mukahi pointed an accusing finger at Atobe. "You're been brainwashed by a windowsill!"

Shishido wacked Mukahi with a broom. "Youo idiot, there's no way people can be brainwashed by windowsills."

"Ugh, I was just making a comment about how stupid Atobe is, gosh. I mean, the kid's freaking twelve, and we're babysitting him."

"Ore-sama is not an idiot!" Atobe cried out.

"Says the person who's listening to Tezuka of Seigaku. Who happens to be our enemy, by the way."

"Ore-sama says we're babysitting him. Therefore, we're babysitting him."

"UGH!"

* * *

"..."

"Now, even Ore-sama does not know why we're babysitting you in the first place. We just are. Do you have any idea why?"

"...Get the hell out of my house. I'm twelve, I don't need a babysitter."

"See?!" Mukahi cried out, jumping up. "He doesn't need a freaking babysitter! All we're doing is wasting our time here! I demand that we run away right now."

"Ore-sama cannot do that. Ore-sama has promised Tezuka to babysit Echizen."

"WHY THE FREAKING HELL DID TEZUKA ASK YOU TO BABYSIT HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE?! DOES THAT REALLY SOUND LIKE TEZUKA TO YOU, HUH?!" Shishido shouted out, slamming his hands down on the table. "ARE YOU FREAKING OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?!?! Oh wait, never mind, you don't have one."

"...Get the hell out of my house."

"The kid says to get out of the house, so let's go," Mukahi said.

"Ore-sama cannot."

"Well why not?"

"Because Tezuka had asked me to babysit him, and I agreed. I cannot back down from my responsibility now."

"YOU'RE SERIOUSLY OUT OF YOU MIND, YOU KNOW!" Shishido shouted out. "FOR ONCE, CAN'T YOU BE LIKE ANY OTHER NORMAL HUMAN BEING AND THINK OF THE SITUATION BEFORE COMPLYING TO ANY DECISION?!"

"Wow, nice vocabulary," Mukahi commented.

"My vocabulary isn't 'nice', your vocabulary's just too crude."

"HEY!"

"Get out of my house."

"There was this one time when my English teacher couldn't spell 'vocabulary'. He kept on spelling it 'vocaburary' or 'vocaburaly'."

"...Are you sure it was an English teacher?" Shishido asked.

"Hell yes. It was during year eight. That teacher freaked me out."

"Yeah, well, we're in year nine. You don't need to freak out about it anymore."

"Gekokujou."

"..."

"That was totally and completely random. And utterly unnecessary," Mukahi commented. "And I don't know why you people demand to stay here anyways. Shorty's probably going to kill us."

"Excuse me?" Echizen was staring. "Did you just call me 'shorty'?"

"Well, yeah, you're so freaking short I thought you were like, a mailbox once. Seriously, grow taller."

"You should be talking, Gakuto," Oshitari reprimanded.

"Well at least I'm somewhat taller than him."

"Somewhat."

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm short!"

"Gakuto, you're older than him by two years. He's normal, you're not."

"Yuushi, you're freaking mean."

"And yet you were the one who called Echizen 'short' first."

"Well he is! I mean, look at him! HE'S SHORT!"

"Gakuto, stop."

"Fine!"

"Get out of my house."

"Atobe, the freaking shrimp tells us to get out of his house and you're just sitting there on the couch as if it's your own home," Shishido said. "You have problems. And I totally agree with the shrimp that we should really be leaving."

"Ore-sama has orders from Te-"

"THAT'S JUST FREAKING BS! IT'S NOT LIKE TEZUKA'S GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN JUST BECAUSE YOU DECIDED NOT TO BABYSIT A FREAKING TWELVE YEAR OLD! HE'S NOT LIKE FUJI!"

"Fuji-senpai _is_ weird, but I still want you to get out of my house."

"Ore-sama is at a loss for what to do."

"Okay, here's what you do." Mukahi clear his throat. "First, you get your ass off of that couch and walk out through the front door. Then, you call your limo guy to pick you up. Once the limo gets here, you get inside the limo, and he drives off. The end."

"Ore-sama still thinks it's better to stay here."

"Until what? I mean, his parents are freaking HERE and you still decide to babysit a twelve year old!"

"Tezuka said so."

"HE'S A FREAKING TWELVE YEAR OLD AND HIS PARENTS ARE AT HOME! WHAT ARE WE BABYSITTING HIM FOR? IT'S NOT LIKE ONCE WE LEAVE HE'S GOING TO DROWN HIMSELF IN GRAPE PONTA AND THEN HAUNT SOMEONE FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE! DO YOU REALLY THINK HE'S THAT CRAZY?!" Shishido shouted.

"You know, he's right there, you don't need to shout at him like he's 4000 feet away from you," Mukahi said.

"Shishido, you've been uncharacteristically loud today," Oshitari commented.

"YEAH, CAUSE I'M IN THE SAME PLACE AS A CRAZY OLD MAN WHO WANTS TO BABYSIT A TWELVE YEAR OLD AND HIS PARENTS ARE HERE!"

"..."

"Get out."

"..."

"Or else I'll call Fuji-senpai and he'll bring his special Ponta bomb and kill you with it."

"Wait, Fuji Syuusuke has a Ponta bomb?" Oshitari asked.

"...Yeah."

"Holy crap, that' guy's crazy," Mukahi said. "I'm leaving."

And so everyone left. Except for Atobe.

"Oi, Monkey King, you can go now."

"Ore-sama has orders from Tezuka to babysit you."

"Well you aren't doing such a good job."

"..."


	36. Chapter 36

**Meh...XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirty-Six**

**_I will not pick up a random notebook lying around on the ground ever again. Especially if it contains the written words 'Death Note'._**

* * *

"Gakuto, what's that in your hands?" Oshitari inquired, sitting on a bench in Hyoutei's beloved tennis courts. 

"It's a notebook, obviously," Mukahi replied, flipping through the strange, dark object that was currently in his hands.

"I bet it's his diary or something," Shishido commented, drinking from his water bottle.

"Actually, it's something called a Death Note," Mukahi said casually.

Shishido spat out his water. "Like hell it is. You know those kinds of notebooks don't exist, it's just some random manga that some mangaka made up."

"Well it says 'Death Note' on the cover."

"Well then someone must've wrote that in cause they were playing a prank or something."

"Whatever."

"Where'd you find that, anyways?"

"On the ground next to Rikkai Dai."

"What the hell were you doing at Rikkai Dai?" Shishido shouted, spitting out his water again. "What's your problem?"

Mukahi stopped flipping through the dark, mysterious notebook in his hands and turned and stared at Shishido. "What, are you saying I'm not allowed to walk around Rikkai Dai, trespass into their school and blow up their tennis clubroom?"

"YOU TRESPASSED AND BLEW UP THEIR TENNIS CLUBROOM?!"

"...Kind of."

"You know, Atobe's going to get seriously pissed at you and, like, I dunno, maybe he'll plan on ending your life and become as sadistic as Fuji."

Mukahi shrugged. "Whatever. Fuji's not even human, so even if Atobe does become as sadistic as Fuji I could shout 'BLOODY MURDER' or something and shoot him with a water gun."

"Where did the water gun part come in?"

"I dunno. Sadistic people are afraid of water?"

"...That doesn't make any sense. Then that means they're not human, cause humans need to drink water and take baths, you know."

"Exactly. So therefore they're not human."

"Your logic doesn't make any sense."

"Your face doesn't make any sense, Shishido."

"Right. Anyways, so you said you found that notebook in Rikkai Dai?" Shishido asked, changing the topic.

"Uh...yeah..."

"I bet it's Yukimura's." Jirou piped up.

"...Why?"

"Cause he's like...the 'child of God' or something and that's a Death Note, right? So it kind of makes sense, doesn't it?"

"That's it. Hyoutei hasn't JUST gone insane, you peoples' logic has gone awry too."

"Shut up, Shishido," Mukahi countered. "No one cares what you think."

"And obviously no one cares what you think either."

"You know, Jirou does have a good point there," Oshitari pointed out.

Shishido gave Oshitari his 'WTF ARE YOU SAYING?!?!?!' look. "Do you even know what Death Note is?"

"No."

"It's this anime show! AND THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS SOMEONE MAGICALLY DYING JUST CAUSE YOU WROTE THEIR FREAKING NAME IN A NOTEBOOK!"

Mukahi's eyes widened. "That's a great idea! Let's write Tezuka's name in this book and make him DIE."

"Oh God..."

"Wait! Wait! Let's make Fuji die instead!" Jirou argued.

"Why Fuji?" Shishido cried out. "And why are you people even believing this crap?!"

"Well, we need Fuji to die just cause he pisses people off," Mukahi explained. "First, his name pisses us off cause it's just like that mountain in Japan called 'Fuji'. If we called him 'Fuji-san' it could be referring to either the mountain or him, so it'd get people confused. Also, his name's just like that stupid apple, and it just gets confusing."

"...Yeah, and?"

"Second of all, when I first saw him I was like "OMFG A GIRL'S ON THE TENNIS TEAM?!" and stuff but then I realized he just looked really girly. That pissed me off even more."

Shishido snorted. "Yeah, like YOU don't look like a girl?"

"Third of all, he's like, Kikumaru Eiji's best friend. All the more reason to kill him."

"Then why don't you just kill Kikumaru then?"

Mukahi brightened up considerably. "Hey! That's a great idea!"

"..."

Mukahi took out a pen and wrote Kikumaru's name on the notebook. "Hm...reason for death...let's see...oh! I know! He got skinned alive by Takeshi Konomi and then he choked on hot, steaming orange juice!"

"Why in the fuck would Takeshi Konomi want to skin alive his OWN CHARACTER?!"

"I dunno."

"And plus, once he's skinned alive, he's already DEAD. So the whole 'choking on hot, steaming orange juice' just doesn't make any sense and it's completely unnecessary."

Mukahi shook his head. "It's just a backup plan, in case Kikumaru escapes getting skinned alive."

"..."

"Gakuto, you might not want to do this," Oshitari warned.

"But I already wrote his name on the notebook!" Mukahi complained.

"I don't think he's going to die," Shishido commented.

Just then a random helicopter came by and the person in the helicopter started shouting in a megaphone. "Mukahi Gakuto, you're arrested for trespassing in Rikkai Daigaku Fuzoku. Put you hands up in the air!"

"That's IT. THIS WHOLE WORLD'S GONE CRAZY!" Shishido cried out. "YOU CAN'T ARREST SOMEONE FOR FREAKING TRESPASSING IN A SCHOOL!"

"You! Boy! You're arrested for talking back to a police officer!" the same person shouted.

"..."

* * *

Meh...totally random XD 


	37. Chapter 37

**I have way too many stories on-going right now. I wish I could go back to the old days where all I had was one ongoing story and a million oneshots written. But that'd be no fun, now would it? XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirty-Seven**

**_I will not insist that Atobe likes Tachibana An._**

**_

* * *

_**"He does too!" Mukahi insisted, pounding his fist on Atobe's special coffee table. "HE SO DOES TOO!" 

"He does not," Shishido countered. "I bet he barely even knows her. He's probably going to be all like 'Who is she? Some random peasant Ore-sama doesn't know about?' or something like that."

"Stop doing your freaking English homework and LISTEN TO ME!!" Mukahi shouted. "Seriously, you're like, addicted to English right now or something."

"I'm just using my time productively, unlike some people."

"Anyways, as I was saying, the reason why I think Atobe likes Tachibana An is that one, he was talking to her after school yesterday, two, he gave her some grip tape, and three, he smiled at her."

"That's hardly any reason to suggest that Atobe likes her."

"IT SO DOES!!" Mukahi argued. "Why in the world would ATOBE of all people talk to a girl, give her grip tape, and then freaking smile at her?!"

"Well maybe he just felt like doing a good deed so that he could lecture about it to us."

"Well there's like, hundreds of other things that he could've done besides giving a girl grip tape and smiling at her."

"What, do you want him to like, magically save a parrot from being eaten by a alligator?"

"Well this is Atobe we're talking about here, and he doesn't just go up to a girl and give her grip tape."

"It's just grip tape. At least he didn't like, give her flowers or something."

"Well to Atobe, grip tape is like, the equivalent of flowers."

"Like hell it is. If Atobe really liked the girl he'd probably force her into his limo, drive her all the way to like, some random six star restaurant and then give her like, really expensive flowers or something."

"Well I still think he likes her."

"Gakuto, you should really give up," Oshitari said. "Whether or not Atobe really likes her is his business, and we shouldn't interfere."

"But Yuushi!" Mukahi complained. "I want to humiliate Atobe, force him into a ditch, make him drink sugar, and then get high of permanent sharpies that cost fifty cents per pack."

"And what would be the point of that?" Oshitari inquired.

"I dunno. Watching him suffer?"

"Now I think you're as sadistic as Fuji."

"That's not my job, that's Yukimura's."

"..."

Just then Atobe had decided to magically come into his living room. No one knows what he was doing outside of his living room while he had guests, and no one will ever know.

"Atobe!" Mukahi jumped up and pointed an accusing finger at said boy. "You like, Tachibana An, don't you?"

Atobe snorted. "Ore-sama does not. Where did you get such information? Ore-sama demands to know."

"I saw you talking to her after school!"

"Because Ore-sama was inquiring on her brother's health."

"I saw you giving grip tape to her!"

"Ore-sama told her to deliver it to her brother."

"I saw you smiling at her!"

"Because she told Ore-sama a funny joke."

"Oh?" Oshitari's eyebrows went up. "What joke was it?"

"What happens when you mix wasabi with water?" Atobe asked.

Mukahi made a face. "Wasabi water, duhh."

"No. Inui Juice."

"..."

"Atobe, that wasn't even remotely funny," Shishido commented.

"Well, apparently Fuji Syusuke told that joke to her," Atobe replied.

"No wonder..."

"That's just disgusting." Mukahi made a face. "Now I really know what Inui juice is made of now. Wasabi, and water. Hm. Yummy."

* * *

Coldness is getting to me. U.U 


	38. Chapter 38

**Meh. I'm on a totally wacked up writing streak right now, it's scary. I've like...started a new story, which is BAD cause once I get back to school I'll die. I've neglected studying for finals too, so I'm totally screwed. I haven't even finished all of my homework yet, and I'm too lazy to start cause I'm totally addicted to writing. Thus, I must finish at least one ongoing story. Probably Sunspots. Which reminds me why in the world my angst stories end up so short. O.O**

**The whole Kabaji being the captain came up in an MSN convo with Demon Brat 2000...I'm under the influence of DB2000...XD.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirty-Eight**

**_I will not insist that Tezuka and Atobe are dating._**

* * *

"But he is!" Mukahi insisted. 

Shishido looked up from his Death Note and rolled his eyes. "First, you just HAVE to insist that Atobe likes An. Now, you're insisting that Tezuka and him are dating. What's wrong with you?" He paused. "Wait, don't answer that question, I already know."

"But don't you agree that they're like, the most perfectly awesome couple ever?" Mukahi insisted.

"Well..."

"You see? I was right! They're so totally dating!"

"Gakuto, Atobe's already mad at you for interfering with his life. If you insist that he's dating Tezuka now he's probably going to kick you off the regulars," Oshitari stated calmly, flipping through a cookbook. Why a cookbook? We don't_ know_, he just decided to flip through a cookbook.

Just then Atobe decided to burst into the room. "Ore-sama is going away tomorrow for a business trip. Mukahi, I expect you to take full charge of the team and be a good little boy."

Shishido looked shocked. "Why is GAKUTO the captain now?! He's like an irresponsible little four year old with candy or something!"

"Ore-sama has no choice. You, Shishido, probably would kill yourself because the team's too insane. Oshitari's just too commanding. Ootori has no leadership skills whatsoever, Hiyoshi wants to be captain way too much, Jirou sleeps too much, and if Kabaji here was the leader everything would just crumble. Ne, Kabaji?"

"Usu."

"Oh, so you decide to put the insane idiot as the captain for a day."

"Like, Ore-sama just said, Ore-sama had no choice but to do it this way."

"..."

After Atobe left, Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Like hell I'm going to be captain tomorrow. I'm going to stalk Atobe." He turned to Kabaji. "Kabaji, I decide from now on that you'll be the captain of Hyoutei for a day. Yuushi, you're coming with me to stalk Atobe. NOW."

And thus Oshitari was dragged off and Kabaji was left with captainship. Oh, joy.

* * *

Shishido frowned. "Kabaji, what are we supposed to be doing?" 

"Usu."

"KABAJI, YOU AREN'T HELPING THE SITUATION HERE!"

"Usu."

"Um, what exactly are we supposed to do?" Ootori asked.

"I dunno, Kabaji's like, not being a very good leader at all."

"Gekokujou..."

"SUGEE!!! KABAJI'S THE LEADER NOW?!" Jirou squealed out in pure delight, waking up from his nap.

"WERE YOU NOT HERE FIVE MINUTES AGO?!" Shishido yelled.

"Mou...Shi-kun's mean!" Jirou pouted.

"Usu."

"AND WHY ARE YOU AGREEING WITH HIM, HM?" Shishido shouted, turning back to Kabaji.

"...Usu?"

"...Can I go leave in peace?"

"Usu."

"Can I blow up Atobe's house?"

"Usu."

"Can I blow up everyone's house?"

"Usu."

Ootori looked shocked. "Shishido-san, that's mean!"

"Fine. Can I blow up the whole country and make everyone DIE?"

"Usu."

"Shishido-san!"

"Can I go and mind-rape Tezuka?"

"Usu."

"Can I mind-rape Fuji?"

"Usu."

"Can I skin Fuji alive and burn his body in a metal coffin?"

"Usu."

"Can I try my worst?"

"Usu."

"Can I kill YOU?"

"Usu."

"Can I go insane and kill off Gakuto while I'm at it?"

"Usu."

"Can I go to Atobe's house and steal all his stuff?"

"Usu."

"Awesome..."

* * *

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Atobe screamed out. "ORE-SAMA COMMANDED YOU TO WATCH THE TEAM FOR A DAY!!!" 

Mukahi winced. "Um, I rotated the captainship to Kabaji?"

"ORE-SAMA TOLD YOU, KABAJI CAN'T BE CAPTAIN BECAUSE HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING!!"

"BUT I WANTED TO SEE IF YOU WERE GOING OUT ON A DATE WITH TEZUKA KUNIMITSU FROM SEIGAKU!!!"

"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE ORE-SAMA IS GOING OUT ON A DATE?!" Atobe barked out, motioning towards his apron and the kitchen.

"Atobe, what are you doing in a kitchen wearing an apron?"

"Ore-sama got detention," Atobe said solemnly.

"So this was your so called business trip?"

"..."

"I STILL THINK YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH TEZUKA!! TARUNDORU!!!"

"If I was Shishido, I'd say 'WTF RETARD, FIRST OF ALL, TEZUKA DOESN'T SAY TARUNDORU, SANADA DOES. AND SECOND OF ALL, STOP STEALING SANADA'S LINES!!' but I won't, because I'm not him. So I'm just going to say this. Gakuto, you have issues," Oshitari said.

"..."

* * *

**OMAKE**

"Hey, Kabaji, can I be captain of the team forever?" Hiyoshi asked.

"Usu."

"Gekokujou..."

* * *

Psh. Had fun with this one mainly because I was really hyper while writing this and I was having a conversation with DB2000 on MSN as well. XD


	39. Chapter 39

**Oh yes. I just love to mass post in all my shining glory, because I just love making people spazz out like that.**

**ATTENTION: I still need eight more ideas. So fire away, people. And currently I am taking multiple requests, so you can submit twice now.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Thirty-Nine**

**_I will not awaken Jirou without Pocky in hand._**

* * *

"I'm freakishly bored it's not even funny anymore," Mukahi said in a dull voice. 

"Read a book, do your laundry, find your missing house key, do SOMETHING productive," Shishido replied. "There's like, millions of things you could do and yet you just refuse to do them."

"But I don't want to do any of those things! They sound too boring!"

"Well then you have no life."

"I don't see you doing anything productive!"

Shishido looked up from his book and stared at Mukahi. "I'm reading a book for English, of course I'm doing something productive! If you're so bored go bother Oshitari or something!"

"Yuushi! I'm bored!" Mukahi complained.

"Gakuto, go and try cooking as a hobby. Who knows, maybe you'll like it," Oshitari said.

"I don't want to cook! I don't want to take up a new hobby, I just want something to ease up my boredom. Oh, I know! I'll try to awaken Jirou!!" Mukahi pointed at said boy that was currently sleeping on the couch. "THOU SHALL AWAKEN WHEN I SAY AWAKEN!! AWAKEN!!!"

Silence...

Mukahi gasped. "My magical powers didn't work! That's not fair!! What else can I do?" He thought for a moment. "I know!!! I'll throw pillows at him!"

And thus he began throwing pillows at Jirou.

And obviously it didn't work.

Shishido winced a little behind his book. "For some reason, this kind of reminds me of that time with that bird..."

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "You know what, that bird was just stupid, so whatever."

"Then you're implying that Jirou isn't stupid."

"Yeah. He's just really lazy. JIROU, WAKE UP!!!"

Jirou ignored him and continued sleeping.

"WAKE UP!!!!!!"

Silence...

Mukahi took Shishido's book and began wacking Jirou with it. "WAKE UP!!!! THOU SHALL WAKE UP, YOU DEFIANT SCOUNDREL!!!"

Silence...

"WHY ISN'T THOU WAKING UP? THOU SHALL WAKE UP, I TELL YOU, THOU SHALL!"

"Oh, I forgot to ask, but why are you using 'thou' instead of 'you'?" Shishido asked.

"Because I just feel like it, that's why. Gosh, stop being so darn bitchy."

"..."

"WAKE UP!!!"

Silence...

"WHY AREN'T YOU WAKING UP?!?!?!?!?"

"Maybe he needs sugar to wake up," Shishido suggested.

"Does it look like I have any sugar to you?" Mukahi asked.

"I'm just saying..."

"WAKE UP!!!!!" Mukahi decided the smartest thing to do was bang Jirou's head with a tape dispenser.

Bad idea...

Jirou finally woke up. "Huh? What happened?"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Finally, you're awake. Jeez. What took you so long?"

"Do you have Pocky?"

"...No."

"Pocky!! Pocky!! I want Pocky!!!"

And thus Jirou began crying...

* * *

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS TO KNOW WHY YOU WOKE UP JIROU WITHOUT POCKY IN HAND!!" Atobe shouted.

"HOW THE HECK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE'S LIKE, A SUGAR ADDICT FOR POCKY?!" Mukahi shouted back.

Shishido put on his special earplugs. "For some reason, I feel like these people have been shouting a lot recently."

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS TO KNOW WHY YOU EVEN DECIDED TO WAKE HIM UP IN THE FIRST PLACE!!"

"BECAUSE I JUST THOUGHT HE HAD A WHOLE TON OF ISSUES, THAT'S WHY!!! AND CAUSE I WAS BORED!"

"THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE!! 60 LAPS, NOW!!"

"..."

* * *


	40. Chapter 40

**Some quotes go to Demon Brat 2000 and her friend**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Forty**

**_I will not talk about teletubbies or The Magic School Bus._**

**_

* * *

_**"But seriously, what is it with teletubbies? Are they like, immortal? But if they're immortal, does that mean that Orochimaru wants to be like them?" Mukahi asked.

"Get the fuck out of my room," Shishido said, throwing a tennis magazine at him.

Mukahi dodged it. "I'm getting confused here! Do they live forever?! If they're immortal, doesn't Orochimaru want to be one of them?"

"Yes, teletubbies are somewhat immortal. Now get out."

"But if they're immortal, then doesn't Orochimaru want to be one?"

"Well if they're immortal, probably. Hey, Orochimaru's that really freaky guy from Naruto who's like, crazy and wants to live forever, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Just making sure."

"...Then again, if Orochimaru was a teletubbie, he'd mind rape the poor, innocent four year olds who watch the show. So him being a teletubbie would probably be a bad idea."

"It was already a bad idea in the first place when you mentioned it."

"Right..."

"..."

"Say, do teletubbies have genders?"

"No, they don't."

"But do they have kids?"

"They don't."

"Then how do we know if they're guys or girls?!" Mukahi demanded.

"Um, they're genderless?"

"THEN HOW DO THEY REPRODUCE?!"

"...They don't."

"THEN HOW WERE THEY CREATED?!"

"Um...they're stuffed plushies?"

"Oh...how?"

"I dunno," Shishido said, rolling his eyes and sighing. "Maybe they created new technology or something."

"Oh. So does that mean that I can get pregnant now?"

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH GETTING PREGNANT?!"

"I dunno..."

Shishido felt like he seriously needed some aspirin. "Ok, they were created out of thin air, they're genderless, so that means they can't reproduce. And no, they cannot fuck themselves."

Mukahi looked shocked. "SOME PEOPLE HERE HAVE EXTREMELY INNOCENT EARS YOU KNOW!!!"

"Like you?"

"...Yeah..."

"Like hell you are."

"I am!!" Mukahi protested.

"Yeah, like I'm _so_ going to believe that."

"Then what about the Magic School Bus, then?" Mukahi demanded.

"What about it?" Shishido asked. "It's a yellow bus that takes people to crazy places."

"I wish I had a bus like that." Mukahi had a very weird and dreamy look on his face. "Then Yuushi and me could go drive around it and go stalk people..."

Shishido twitched. "Okay, first of all it's 'Yuushi and I', not 'Yuushi and me'. Second of all, no, you shouldn't use the Magic School Bus as your stalking tool. That's just not nice. I swaer, that bus would probably get mind raped more than the people seeing Orochimaru as a teletubbie."

"Nuh uh!!" Mukahi countered. "Orochimaru as a teletubbie would SO totally give little four year olds brain damage. The Magic School Bus is a bus, it doesn't have a mind."

"Still," Shishido protested. "If you went and stalked like, Atobe, for example, the bus would go crazy just looking at Atobe's fugly face."

"That's true...by the way, how do you know so much about the Magic School Bus?"

"Uh...cause I was a normal four year old kid watching a bus zoom around bee hives and stuff?"

"Right...what about teletubbies?"

"...I was a normal three year old watching stuffed plushies bounce around."

"I'm sorry to say this, but even though Po was really popular, I still thought Dipsy was cooler."

"WAIT, YOU STILL REMEMBER THEIR NAMES?!"

"Yeah...why?"

"You're insane."

"Nuh uh, I just have really good memory!! There's Twiny Winky, Dipsy, Lala, and Po!"

"..."

"Po's the red one with the scooter."

"..."

"And Twinky Winky's the purple one."

"Okay, dude, get a life. Seriously."

"I HAVEN'T WATCHED TELETUBBIES EVER SINCE I WAS FIVE, SO CUT ME SOME SLACK, WILL YOU?!"

"..."

"Even though it's still like, my favorite show of all time."

"You're telling me that it's your favorite show, and then DEMANDING that I CUT YOU SOME SLACK?!? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"It's one of my favorites, so there!"

"...Right. And what other favorite shows do you watch?"

"Um...let's see...Hellsing, Gintama, Hana Kimi, Barney, Battle Royale (even though it's not a TV show), and Hellsing OVA."

"...That list...is really retarded. You have like, really bloody and gory stuff to little three year old kid shows."

"Hey, it's only Barney!!"

"THAT SHOW IS FOR THREE YEAR OLDS, NOT FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS!!"

"But I like it!!" Mukahi protested.

"Right. Now get out of my room."

"..."

"NOW."

"Meanie poo."

"What'd you just say?"

"...Nothing..."


	41. Chapter 41

**I really wonder. I really wonder how I had the motivation to continue this all the way to chapter 41. It must be my lack of self-confidence. XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Forty-One**

_**I will not write fanfiction surrounding Mukahi Gakuto and centering it around his stupidity.**_

* * *

"Shishido. May Ore-sama ask what the fuck you think you're doing?" Atobe asked. 

"I'm writing fanfiction that's centered around Gakuto's stupidity. Got a problem with that?" Shishido asked.

"Yes, Ore-sama has a problem with that. Ore-sama wonders why you of all people would want to waste your time writing pointless stories about Gakuto's stupidity."

"Oh, hey, I just realized you swore in your last sentence. I should put that in."

"Ore-sama does not appreciate being used for some…fanfiction enterprise."

"Well then just deal with it. It's life. At least you aren't being portrayed as being stupid like how Gakuto is."

"DON'T WRITE FUCKING FANFICTION ABOUT MY STUPIDITY, DAMMIT!" Mukahi shouted, throwing a shoe at him.

Shishido ducked. "And why shouldn't I?"

"BECAUSE MY STUPIDITY IS TRADEMARKED, AND I DON'T WANT SOMEONE STEALING IT. EVEN WORSE, I DON'T WANT SOMEONE TO GET HIGH OFF OF IT OR CATCH IT LIKE IT'S SOME DISEASE!!"

"I bet someone already has."

"YOU'RE AS SADISTIC AS FUJI!"

"How?"

"YOU'RE MAKING PEOPLE WHO READ FANFICTION STUPID, THAT'S HOW!"

"So are you saying I shouldn't be writing about your stupidity?"

"Yes, that's what I'm trying to say here!" Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Gosh, are you stupid?"

"Maybe I am. Maybe I caught your stupidity. Maybe that's why I'm writing about how stupid you are and how insane Hyoutei is and how much of a narcissist Atobe is."

"Ore-sama is NOT a narcissist."

"Oh really? Prove it."

"Ore-sama no bigi ni yoi na!"

"…That's not called proving it."

"Ore-sama is not a narcissist!!" Atobe argued.

"Yes you are. In all of my fics you're like, egotistical and stuff."

"ORE-SAMA IS NOT!!"

Mukahi peered at the computer screen. "Dude…you have like…83 flames. And one positive review. Wow, that's bad, even for the Prince of Tennis section."

"I don't know what happened…"

"Did you use spell-check on your stories?"

"…No…"

"…Did you make the characters too OOC?"

"…What does OOC mean?"

"Out of character…"

"No. I made you stupid, I made Atobe egotistical, and Oshitari is just…there."

"Hey! Yuushi sometimes talks!"

"Ore-sama is not egotistical!!!" Atobe cried out. "HOW DARE YOU CALL ORE-SAMA EGOTISTICAL!!"

"Okay, so I'm guessing they flamed you cause your spelling sucked," Mukahi said. "Cause you got the characters down perfectly. Except for ME. Cause I'm not STUPID, I'M SMART…FUL!!!"

"WHAT KIND OF SMART PERSON SAYS SMARTFUL?!"

"Me…"

"YOU'RE NOT SMART, YOU'RE MENTALLY CHALLENGED!!!"

"AM NOT!!"

"ARE TOO!!"

"AM NOT!!"

"ARE TOO!!"

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS THAT YOU BOTH SHUT UP. SHISHIDO, YOU MADE US ALL OUT OF CHARACTER. I DEMAND THAT YOU APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW!!" Atobe yelled.

"Oh my gosh…Atobe just yelled. I'm so putting that in," Shishido said.

"You know, pretzels and candy taste really good," Mukahi commented, munching on pretzels.

"You're eating…candy and pretzels at the SAME TIME?!"

"Yeah…why?"

"You're not normal."

"Well you're not normal either, Shishido."

"No, seriously, you're weird beyond human recognition."

"Whoever said I was getting a Nobel Prize for it?"

"…That's not what I mean." Shishido went back to typing. "Hey, how do you spell 'narcissist' anyways?"

Mukahi thought for a moment. "Uh…n-y-a-r-g-l-e-s?"

Shishido gave him a odd look. "What the heck is nyargles?"

"Oh, is that what I just spelled out?"

"That didn't even come close."

"Well at least it started with an 'n'," Mukahi retorted.

"I'm never going to ask _any_ of you how to spell _anything_ ever again."

"Are you implying that we're _stupid_?"

"Yeah."

"YUUSHI ISN'T STUPID!" Mukahi cried out. "NO WONDER YOU GOT SO MANY FLAMES FOR YOU STORY!!!"

"Actually, it was like, a play script/IM conversation thing."

"…No wonder you got flamed."

"Ore-sama really wonders why any of you write fanfiction. Really, what's so great about it anyways?"

"You would never understand, Atobe," Shishido replied.

"Oh?" Atobe raised his eyebrows. "And why wouldn't I understand such a thing?"

"Only writers can understand the joy of writing something. And it gets even better when you actually _enjoy_ writing it and are happy with what you wrote."

Atobe snorted. Yes, he _snorted_. "And Ore-sama presumes that you're enjoying what you're writing, ah?"

Shishido made a face. "Not really. I can't exactly read it cause it's all bunched up, but it's funny when I make Gakuto here a total moron."

"Stop showing me as a total dolt on that site!" Mukahi cried out. "I'm not that stupid!"

Shishido finally turned away from his laptop. "Oh, really now."

"I'M NOT STUPID!!"

"Yes you are. You're so stupid a rock would be smarter than you."

"STOP EXAGGERATING MY STUPIDITY!!"

"I'm not, I'm just writing down the facts."

"WHAT ARE YOU, INUI NOW?!"

"…No…"

"Ore-sama demands you two stop arguing about fanfiction and actually get something provocative done!"

Shishido turned to Atobe. "You're stupid as well. It's _productive_, not provocative."

"Well at least Ore-sama's brain isn't inhabited by a thousand Gakutos."

"MY MIND ISN'T INHABITED BY A THOUSAND GAKUTOS, WHAT THE FRICK?!"

"Ore-sama thinks you caught Gakuto's stupidity while writing fanfiction."

"And I think you have only three more days to live before I decide to kill you with a sledgehammer."

"By the way, what's a sledgehammer?" Mukahi interrupted.

"…"

"THIS WHOLE WORLD IS STUPID. WHY WAS I BORN IN THIS DIMENSION?!?! GAGH!!"

Oh yes. They had a nice day at Hyoutei.

Really, what _was _the cause for Hyoutei's insanity? And what about their stupidity?


	42. Chapter 42

**Uh…yeah. Must finish this before school starts, or I'm in trouble. Because I'm thinking of making another story. I know, I suck, but this story is going to be really really good and I'm going to edit it a gajillion times!! –rants-**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Forty-Two**

_**I will not insist that Harry Potter is better than Atobe.**_

* * *

"I insist, Atobe, I insist that Harry Potter is better than you, and will therefore always be better than you," Mukahi said in a low voice. 

"Ore-sama is better than that Harry whoever that person is!!"

"Well I think that Harry Potter is better than you!" Mukahi continued in that same, low voice.

"Dude, stop with the voice, it's creeping everybody out," Shishido said.

"Fine!" Mukahi frowned, returning back to his usual voice. "Be that way! I was just trying to act like Harry Potter."

"…Well you're doing a pretty shitty job of it."

"Like you could do any better!"

"Hey!" Shishido snapped. "I haven't read Harry Potter yet, okay? Cut me some slack over here."

"Which is why you should start reading it."

"Well you're acting too much like a fangirl over Harry Potter."

"WELL THAT'S BECAUSE HARRY POTTER'S AWESOME!!"

"Ore-sama is better than Harry Potter!" Atobe exclaimed.

"No, Atobe, you aren't, you weren't, and you never will be better than Harry Potter," Shishido countered.

"YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ THE BOOK YET SO WHY ARE YOU AGREEING WITH ME?!" Mukahi demanded.

"HEY, I'M HELPING YOU OVER HERE AND YOU'RE JUST SNAPPING AT ME? FINE, YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

"WHAT THE FUCK…Agh, never mind. Let's just all agree that Harry Potter is better than Atobe because Harry Potter is magical, he isn't a narcissist, and he actually has a normal hair color."

"Right…like you do?" Shishido said.

"I'm comparing Harry Potter with Atobe, not with myself, so that doesn't have anything to do with it."

"Okay…so Harry Potter's better than Atobe."

"Yeah."

"Because he's magical and he has a normal hair color."

"Yeah."

"And he isn't a narcissist."

"Yeah."

"Ore-sama's hair color is just fine," Atobe argued. "There is nothing wrong with Ore-sama's hair color!"

"…Your hair's gray," Shishido stated calmly. No, really, he was trying to be calm, because Atobe's stupidity was really getting to him.

"Ore-sama's hair color is normal."

"YEAH, FOR A SIXTY YEAR OLD!!" Shishido snapped.

"Je n'aime pas la glace." (1)

"WHAT DOES GLASSES HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!" Mukahi cried out.

"…He said something about ice cream, not glasses," Shishido said. "And by the way, what does you not liking ice cream have to do with anything?"

"Ore-sama is better than Harry Potter…"

"STOP CHANGING TOPICS RANDOMLY JUST CAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE IT!!!"

"Ore-sama no bigi ni yoi na!"

"You see? He's a narcissist," Mukahi said.

"Ore-sama is better than Harry Potter."

"WELL HARRY POTTER IS JUST AWESOME CAUSE HE WEARS GLASSES!!! HE LOOKS JUST LIKE OSHITARI!!"

Shishido stared. "No he doesn't."

"Yes he does!"

"Tu es vraiment une idiote..." (2)

"STOP IT WITH YOUR GOD DAMN ITALIAN!!"

"…That was French…tu es vrainment une idiote…"

"STOP CALLING ME….WHATEVER RAIN WHATEVER!!"

"….Tu es vrainment une idiote…"

"Gakuto, Shishido just called you an idiot in French," Atobe explained very nicely. Yes, he explained it very nicely because he didn't want Mukahi crying all over him.

"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?!"

"…What?" Shishido asked.

"YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!"

"…"

"TU VRAINGLAH IDIOTE!!!"

"…You said it wrong…"

"So? You know what I mean, right?"

"…No…I don't."

"WELL STILL, HARRY POTTER'S BETTER THAN ATOBE!!"

"…That I agree with."

"Ore-sama is better than this…Harry Potter individual!!"

"He's not an individual, he's a whole movie!" Mukahi retorted.

"Ah? Ore-sama thought we were talking about a person."

"Well, it's both a person and a movie…so…"

"Ah? So Ore-sama is worse than both a person and a movie?"

"Pretty much…"

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT!!"

"Atobe, you think too highly of yourself. Think of others, for once," Shishido commented.

Mukahi winced. "It might've been better if you hadn't said that…"

"What do you mean Ore-sama hasn't thought of others before? Ore-sama has!! Ore-sama has…" Atobe ranted on and on for the rest of the day.

Seriously. Don't tell Atobe someone's better than him. He'll start a rant fest…

* * *

1. Well, that just basically means 'I don't like ice cream' in French. Sorry, I was in total French mode today…I took French for a year in middle school. Agh, too many languages. XD 

2. It means 'You are really an idiot." Also French. I was in total French mode. XD


	43. Chapter 43

**I ish…tired. XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Forty-Three**

**_I will not ask Kabaji to sing._**

_**

* * *

**_

"I'm bored," Mukahi said out loud.

"No one cares," Shishido countered. "For the thirtieth time, go do something productive and stop bothering us with your useless nonsense."

"I want to torture someone into doing something for me."

"Too late, you already did that to your oh, so beloved 'Yuushi'."

"HEY, I DID NOT!! He just helps me with my math homework and I help him with English!"

Shishido raised his eyebrows. "You? Help him with English? No way…"

"YES WAY!!"

"…Okay…"

"Hm…what should I do? I KNOW!! I'LL ASK KABAJI TO SING!!"

"…All he ever says is 'usu', so it's not going to work."

"Then I'll ask him to sing the 'usu' song!"

"THERE IS NO SUCH THING!!"

"YES THERE IS!!"

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT APPRECIATE IT WHEN PEOPLE USE MY MANSERVANT AS THEIR ANTI-BORED TOY!!"

"Oh, by the way, it was Kabaji's birthday a few days again, right?" Shishido asked.

Atobe looked shocked. "To think, Shishido, that you would forget about Kabaji's birthday is really surprising. Ne, Kabaji?"

"Usu."

"KABAJI!! SING!!" Mukahi cried out, throwing his arms up in the air. "SING FOR US!!"

"…"

"Stop telling him to sing. _You_ sing if you're really that bored."

"I don't want to, I have no singing capacity in my brain," Mukahi said.

"What does _that_ have to do with you singing?!" Shishido demanded. He shook his head. "That's it, you all are idiots."

"Why, thank you, Shishido. Now if you don't mind, Ore-sama demands that you run 30 laps. Now."

"Atobe…we're not in tennis practice right now."

"It doesn't matter. Ore-sama has the right to demand laps from you. Ore-sama is exercising that right as of this moment. NOW GO!"

"FINE!! BE THAT WAY, CHALKFACEHEAD!!"

"…"

Mukahi shivered. "Okay, random moment there. Anyways, Kabaji, can you sing?"

"…Usu…"

"REALLY!? COOL!!"

"…"

"So, can you sing for us?"

"Ore-sama does not appreciate you using Kabaji as a play thing."

"Atobe, you have to admit, Kabaji doesn't talk enough these days," Oshitari said. "A little singing would do him good."

"Did he ever talk before?" Mukahi asked.

"Not that I know of."

"Then he should talk now!!" Mukahi exclaimed. "Kabaji!! You can sing, right?"

"Usu…"

"Then sing for us!!"

"Usu."

"…Besides saying usu."

"Usu."

"You can say multiple usu's at the same time!!"

"Usu."

"…This is getting hopeless."

"Usu."

"I'll give you Shishido's baby teeth if you sing for us!"

"Usu."

"Gakuto, where in the world did you get Shishido's baby teeth?" Oshitari asked.

"Uh…I got them…well actually, I stole them from his mom."

"His mom was carrying around his baby teeth?"

"Yeah, in this like, Hello Kitty purse bag thing."

"…Hello Kitty?"

"Don't ask. Even I don't know the details about that."

"I don't think Kabaji even wants Shishido's baby teeth," Oshitari said.

"That's true, but still…"

"Hey! WHERE'D YOU GET MY BABY TEETH FROM?!" Shishido shouted out, coming back from his laps.

"Your mom, Shishido, your mom."

"GIVE THEM BACK!!"

"Oh…touchy, aren't we?" Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Seriously, I really wonder why you're so obsessed with your baby teeth."

"THEY AREN'T MINE, THEY'RE CHOUTARO'S!!"

"WHY THE FUCK DOES YOUR MOM HAVE THAT BRAT'S BABY TEETH?!"

"DON'T CALL HIM A BRAT!! AND WE SWITCHED BABY TEETH JUST CAUSE WE FELT LIKE IT, OK?!"

"Oh…" Mukahi smirked. "Shishido and Ootori, sitting in a tree. F-U-C…"

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Shishido cut him off. "NOW GIVE THEM BACK, BEFORE I HAVE KABAJI DEMOLISH YOU INTO A BURNT CRISP!!"

Mukahi gasped dramatically. "You wouldn't!!"

"I would."

"You couldn't!!"

"I might…"

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS THAT YOU ALL RUN 60 LAPS FOR DAMAGING THE MIND OF KABAJI!!" Atobe shouted.

"Kabaji only says 'usu', anyways," Mukahi said.

"Usu."

"…"

* * *

Yes, pointless, stupid crack that I my mind has made up on a whim. Ugh. 


	44. Chapter 44

**Meh. I'm losing my touch, AGAIN. I think…it's because…I don't think. XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Forty-Four**

_**I will never say that the Shinsengumi are coming after me.**_

* * *

"Shi-chan, I had a bad nightmare!!" Jirou cried out, waking up from his nap.

Mukahi snorted, looking at Jirou. "Shi-chan? What kind of nickname is that?"

"You shut up," Shishido growled. "_Muka-chan_."

"Hey, my nickname's better than your nickname at least!"

"Like hell it is."

"I had a bad nightmare that the Shinsengumi were coming after me!" Jirou exclaimed.

Mukahi started at him. "What did you do this time?"

Shishido rolled his eyes. "You idiot, Shinsengumi don't exist in real life. They're just a part of this random anime/manga called Gintama."

"Well they're like, the police, right?" Mukahi asked.

"Yeah…"

"Well police exist, right?"

"Yeah…"

"So that means some police force is out to get Jirou. Oh, no! Jirou! Run away!!!"

Jirou stared. "But I didn't do anything wrong!!"

Mukahi eyed him suspiciously. "Are you sure?"

"Yes…well there was this one time when I was stalking Bun-chan but that's not the point!"

"Bun-chan?" Shishido asked, looking confused.

"Yes, Bun-chan!! BUN-CHAN'S SO COOL!!!"

"Um…care to refresh my memory on who…Bun-chan is?"

"MARUI!!!"

"…Oh, that kid. Seriously, I don't get how he eats so much sweets; he never gets fat."

"BUN-CHAN IS COOL!! DON'T DISS HIM!!" Jirou cried out, pouting.

"Wait, so you were stalking him?" Mukahi asked. "I think…that's a valid excuse for the police to come after you. Or the Shinsengumi."

"But I didn't do anything wrong! I just quietly observed him from afar!" Jirou protested.

"Well, stalking's kind of like…you're not supposed to do it and stuff."

"But how'd they know I was stalking Bun-chan?" Jirou asked, wide-eyed.

"I don't know…" Mukahi shrugged. "Maybe they were stalking you, I guess."

"Then they should be caught for stalking me! Hypocrites!!"

"…You know I wasn't being serious, right?"

"BUT THEN WHY ARE THE SHINSENGUMI AFTER ME?!"

Shishido slapped his forehead. "Idiot, the Shinsengumi aren't going to come after you, it was just a bad dream, okay?"

"BUT IT'S THE SHINSENGUMI!! THEY'RE REALLY SCARY AND WEIRD!!"

"…"

"ESPECIALLY THE VICE-CAPTAIN HELPER PERSON!!"

"…"

"THAT GUY'S CREEPY!! HE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO KILL THE VICE-CAPTAIN!! IT'S SCARY!!"

"…"

"WITH HIS LIKE, BIG FAT GUN!!"

"Wait, is he still trying to do that?" Mukahi asked. "That's like…so overrated. He's like Fuji or something."

"HE'S AS SADISTIC AS YUKIMURA!!"

"…How is Yukimura sadistic?" Shishido asked.

"Well there was this one time when I was stalking Bun-chan and then Yukimura caught me and then he said that if he ever caught me stalking again he'd make sure I'd never come back again and he had this really creepy smile and stuff!!" Jirou explained all in one breath.

"Wait…come again?" Mukahi asked.

"Retard, he's saying that Yukimura caught him one time while he was stalking that Marui guy and if he catches him stalking him ever again he's going to like, shoot him or something," Shishido explained.

"WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE HE'S, HIM'S AND STALKING'S?!"

"…Were you even trying to listen?"

"No, not really. I kind of lost you on the 'retard' part."

"THAT WAS THE FIRST WORD IN THE SENTENCE!!"

"WELL SORRY, MY BRAIN CAPACITY IS LIKE, ZERO!!"

"YOU JUST INSULTED YOURSELF, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"STOP SWEARING, THERE'S LITTLE ONES IN THE ROOM!"

"…Hey, I'm not little!" Jirou protested out loud.

"…"

"The conversation kind of like, died when he said that," Mukahi commented.

"Well maybe it's because your stupidity is so contagious it just _had_ to die," Shishido shot back.

"Am not!!"

"ARE TOO!!"

"AM NOT!!"

"ARE TOO!!!"

"KIKUKMARU BAZOOKA!!!" Jirou cried out.

"…"

"The conversation died again," Mukahi said.

"…That was extremely random," Shishido commented.

"What was?" Jirou asked, looking completely innocent.

"The whole 'Kikumaru Bazooka' thing or whatever," Shishido replied.

"BUT IT'S FUN TO SAY IT!! KIKUMARU BAZOOKA!!"

"…"

"KIKUMARU BAZOOKA!!"

"KIKUMARU SHALL DIE!! I SHALL SEND THE SHINSENGUMI AFTER HIM AND HE WILL DIE BENEATH MY FEET!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Mukahi cried out.

"…Shinsengumi don't exist," Shishido stated.

"OH YES THEY DO!"

"Yeah, in Gintama."

"…SHINSENGUMI!!!"

"…"

"AFTER KIKUMARU!!"

"…"

* * *

"Our police have been mistakenly known as the Shinsengumi, due to a show called Gintama. Therefore, this TV station will be banning their program starting next Monday."

"…"

* * *

I just banned Gintama...wtf XD 


	45. Chapter 45

**Nurf. Trying to get this all done before break's over. Gah.**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Forty-Five**

_**I will not stalk Atobe when he leaves without giving a reason.**_

* * *

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGATOBEDIEDED!!" Jirou cried out, bouncing up and down.

Shishido stared at him from his chair. "What do you mean Atobe died?"

"Jirou, dieded isn't a word," Oshitari corrected, sitting on the sofa. "And who gave you sugar this time?"

"BUN-CHAN!!"

"…Right."

Mukahi, who was lying on the floor, turned and stared at Oshitari, looking confused. "Wait…isn't dieded the past tense of died?"

"…Died is already in past tense form, Gakuto," was the reply.

"I HATE JAPANESE PAST TENSE CRAP!!"

"…Deal with it, you're Japanese," Shishido said.

"I HOPE YOU GET EATEN BY A DONKEY!!"

"…Donkeys don't eat people…"

"WELL MONKEYS DO!"

"You've already been eatened by a monkey."

Oshitari sighed. "Shishido, eaten is already in past tense, you don't need to say 'eatened'."

"OMG ATOBE WAS EATENED?!"

"…"

"Wait, what happened to Atobe again?" Mukahi asked.

"HE LEFT!! AND I DUNNO WHERE HE IS BUT IT'S REALLY REALLY WEIRD!!"

"Why?"

"HE'S DISAPPEARED!!! SUGEE!"

"Um…okay…not going to comment on that," Shishido said.

"You just did," Mukahi retorted.

"Well whatever."

Mukahi brightened up. "I KNOW!! LET'S GO STALK HIM!!"

"How are we going to stalk him if we don't know where he is?"

"EASY!! WE GET A GPS SYSTEM ON HIM!!"

"…But he's already disappeared."

"THEN LET'S GO TO HIS HOUSE!!"

"We _are_ in his house, Gakuto. Idiot."

"THEN LET'S ASK HIS BUTTER!!"

"Gakuto, don't you mean his butler?" Oshitari corrected.

"YEAH, SAME THING!"

"OMG, MAYBE KEI-CHAN GOT KIDNAPPED!" Jirou cried out.

"…That narcissist? No way." Shishido made a face. "He's like…so narcissistic that no one would want to kidnap him for the world."

"Unless, of course, the person kidnapping him was also a narcissist," Oshitari put in.

"Who's as narcissistic as him?"

"Uh…there was this guy…who was a narcissist that I met back in like, elementary school," Mukahi said, looking thoughtful. "OH!! HE WAS A KIDNAPPER TOO!!"

"…He kidnapped people and he went to elementary school?"

"He kidnapped me once…it was really freaky, and then he dropped me into a river. And I almost drowneded."

"Gakuto, drowned is already in past tense, you don't need to say drowneded," Oshitari commented.

"Oh, then can I say drownededed?"

"…That makes no sense at all."

"Dude, the chances of that guy going and kidnapping Atobe is almost like, zero," Shishido said. "So yeah…"

"LET'S GO STALK HIM!" Mukahi suggested.

"NO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO STALK ATOBE JUST BECAUSE HE LEFT!!"

"WE SHOULD THOUGH, IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN!!"

"WHY IS IT FUN STALKING A TOTAL NARCISSIST?"

"I DUNNO, IT JUST IS, PROBABLY."

"…YOUR LOGIC MAKES NO SENSE."

"SUGEE, ALL OF THEM ARE SHOUTING!!" Jirou cried out.

"…"

"Why do conversations keep on dying whenever Jirou talks?" Mukahi asked.

'I have no idea…"

"LET'S GO STALK ATOBE NOW!!"

"Let's not…"

"Why not?"

"Because he'll order us laps if we do."

"CHICKEN!!"

"…GOOSE!!"

"GEESE!!"

"…I'm just one person, why are you calling me a geese?"

"Oh…I thought geese was the older version of a goose."

"…"

"LET'S STAL-"

"NO, WE'RE NOT STALKING ATOBE, DAMMIT!"

"Ah, so you all want to stalk Ore-sama now? Ore-sama did not know that Ore-sama was so popular…" Atobe started.

"WAIT, WHERE'D HE COME FROM?!" Mukahi yelled, totally interrupting Atobe's speech.

"He just like…appeared…I dunno, don't ask," Shishido answered.

"…"

* * *

I'm tired. School started. Stupid school... 


	46. Chapter 46

**NOO!! FINALS!!!**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Forty-Six**

_**I will not mess with Shishido's face on Photoshop and make him look like a girl.**_

* * *

Mukahi was having a fun time with his computer.

A really fun time.

"I love Photoshop," he said, cackling evilly. "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Jirou winced. "Muka-kun's scary!!" he whined.

"But Photoshop is like, awesome, because I can mutilate people's faces and their looks and make them look weird."

"That's not nice though!" Jirou protested.

"Well I'm doing this to the very person who I hate and despise."

"Kikumaru-kun?"

"No…I should, but I'm doing Shishido first, only cause I got his picture first."

"…"

"And plus, his face is like, GIGANTO!!"

"…"

LINE

"I'M DONE!!!" Mukahi exclaimed. "Oh, this is really a masterpiece!!"

"…What is?" Shishido asked, coming up from behind.

"I JUST MADE YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!!!"

Shishido stared at the computer screen. "What…the fuck have you been doing with my face on Photoshop?"

"I just tweaked it up a little…you know…cause it was getting annoying looking at it so I decided to edit it a bit, so now, VOILA!!"

"…I'm a girl in that picture."

"So?"

"I'm a guy in real life."

"So?"

"My point is, I don't get why you made me into a girl."

"…Your point?"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAIN?!"

"Nothing's wrong with it, however, your face obviously has something wrong with it."

"MY FACE IS PERFECTLY FINE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. AND NOW YOU'VE MADE ME LOOK LIKE A GIRL. THANKS A LOT."

"WELL, YOU'RE LIKE, SEME, SO-wait, that doesn't make any sense…then I should've photoshopped Ootori as a girl…"

"WE'RE ALL GUYS, DAMMIT, STOP PHOTOSHOPPING!!"

"BUT PHOTOSHOPPING IS AWESOME, AND I CAN DO MAGICAL STUFF WITH IT!"

"HOW THE FRICK IS THIS MAGICAL, YOU'RE TURNING US ALL INTO GIRLS!!"

"…Well, not all. I made Atobe into like…this bear…thing…"

"…"

"And I made Yuushi into like, this plushie thing."

"…"

"And then…I think I made Hiyoshi into a mushroom."

"…That's…somewhat understandable."

"And then I made you into a girl! Yay!!"

"WHY ARE YOU CELEBRATING THAT?!"

"…Because I couldn't picture you as a girl, so I decided to use Photoshop. And now, you looking like a girl makes so much more sense now."

"I'm a freaking guy, what do you expect? Guys don't naturally look like girls you know."

"Nuh uh!" Mukahi protested. "Fuji looks _so _much like a girl! When I saw Seigaku's team I was like 'what the frick, they allow girls on their teams now?!' but then I realized he was a guy…it was really scary. He made me think Kikumaru was a guy too."

"Well that's only Fuji. Do I really look like a girl to you?"

"With the wonders of Photoshop, yes."

"…WHAT THE FRICK?!"

"Well Photoshop makes it work!!"

"I'M A GUY, DAMMIT, STOP TURNING ME INTO A GIRL!!"

"Oh, really? I was under the impression-"

"I'M A GUY, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!"

"…Your loud voice."

"THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME BEING A GIRL OR NOT."

"EH?!?!? So Shi-kun's actually a girl?" Jirou exclaimed.

"NO!!!"

"…This is so confuzzling!!"

"…"

"Your face is giganto, Shishido," Mukahi commented, turning back to his computer screen. "Doesn't really fit quite right, especially if you're a girl."

"I'M NOT A GIRL, YOU JUST MADE ME INTO ONE CAUSE YOU WERE BORED!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"THAT'S IT!! I'M TELLING ATOBE TO BAN PHOTOSHOP!!"

"You wouldn't."

"I could."

"WELL THEN I'LL JUST THREATEN TO SELL ATOBE'S PICTURE ON EBAY!!!"

"…"

"THE BEAR ONE!!"

"…"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Mukahi became evil that day…

* * *

Narf. XD 


	47. Chapter 47

**Um. I only get an hour of computer time a day now. So expect updates to be ridiculously slow. Apologies. XD**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Forty-Seven**

_**I will not invite Mukahi over on a sleepover.**_

* * *

All of the Hyoutei regulars were invited to Ootori's house for a sleepover. They were invited because apparently his mother thought Ootori and his friends needed some 'brotherly bonding' and decided to invite all the regulars for a sleepover. Little did she know that teenage guys don't really have big sleepovers, and that her son was already 14 and didn't need 'brotherly bonding'. Nor did she know that Mukahi and Shishido would be so noisy.

"YOU RETARD, ONE PLUS ONE DOESN'T EQUAL TO ONE!!" Shishido shouted.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT, I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASKING ME TO DIVIDE!" Mukahi shouted back.

"How does one mistake 'adding' for 'dividing', Ore-sama wonders," Atobe commented.

"Shut up Atobe, we don't need your commentary," Mukahi and Shishido snapped at the same time.

"COPYCAT!!"

"YOU'RE THE COPYCAT!!"

"Um…why does everyone need to be so loud?" Ootori asked.

"Because he's stupid?" Shishido said, pointing to Mukahi.

"I AM NOT STUPID!!"

"YES YOU ARE!!"

"Gakuto, you might want to keep it down," Oshitari said. "Or else you'll have all of us kicked out of here."

"Gekokujou."

"NO ONE NEEDS YOUR 'GEKOKUJOU'-ING RIGHT NOW!!" Mukahi snapped.

"…Someone's being snappy," Shishido said, smirking.

"SHUT UP, I'M NOT A FISH!!"

"I said snappy, not snapper."

"SAME THING, IT STARTS WITH 'SNAP', RIGHT?"

"…"

Ootori's mom almost fainted. Oh, how could she have left her son to these…goons?

"Ore-sama does not appreciate all this arguing and yacking. After all, we are at a guest's house."

"And who told you to come along?" Mukahi asked. "I thought you were going to keep comfy in your mansion or whatever."

"SUGEE!! IS THIS A PLATE?!" Jirou cried out, observing something that was currently sitting on a table next to the fireplace.

"Yes, Jirou, that's a plate. Now kindly move away from it, as Ore-sama does not want to pay for any damaged furniture."

"Atobe…plates aren't furniture," Oshitari corrected.

Silence ensued…

"He just corrected Atobe…" Mukahi said, bewildered.

"No, actually, Atobe made a solecism…" Shishido said.

"What's that?"

"…A minor blunder in speech."

"BUT HE ISN'T GIVING ONE YET, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"…That's not what I meant, but okay."

"I hate vocabulary," Mukahi moaned. "Why does it have to be so fricking hard?"

"Because…you have issues."

"I DO NOT!!"

"You do."

"I DO NOT!! I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU!"

"How?"

"I'll…START SPEAKING IN ENGLISH!!"

"Your English sucks."

"But it's my favorite subject though!"

"It still sucks, regardless if it's your favorite subject or not."

"Fine! I'll speak in Japanese then!!"

"YOU IDIOT, YOU'RE ALREADY SPEAKING IN JAPANESE, SO WHAT'S THE POINT!?" Shishido shouted at the top of his lungs.

Ootori winced.

His mother just slapped herself on the forehead. Really, why had she invited such insane people into her house?

"JE N'AIME PAS LE GLACE!!"

"IT'S LA GLACE, NOT LE GLACE!!"

"SHUT UP, I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANY FRENCH, I WAS JUST GUESSING!" Mukahi shouted.

"WELL STOP GUESSING AND ACTUALLY TALK IN A LANGUAGE THAT YOU KNOW!" Shishido shouted back.

"I SAID JAPANESE!!"

"WE'RE ALREADY SPEAKING IN JAPANESE!!"

Obviously they weren't going to get any sleep at all that day.

Ootori's mother really wondered how her son had met such insane, stupid people.

She also wondered how these stupid people had gotten into the regulars.

"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?!"

"WHAT?!"

"AT LEAST I'M NOT AS STUPID AS YOU!"

"SAYS THE PERSON WHO PHOTOSHOPPED ME AND TURNED ME INTO A GIRL!!"

"WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT!"

"…What?"

"I dunno. I was hoping you would," Mukahi answered.

"WHAT THE FRICK, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!"

"I'M JUST RANDOM, DAMN YOU!"

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS THAT YO-"

"SHUT UP, ATOBE!" Mukahi and Shishido both snapped at the same time.

"BUT ORE-S-"

"JUST SHUT UP!!"

Somewhere out there a dog howled.

Ootori's mother almost cried. Even her ear plugs couldn't drown out the noise.

"IMBECILE!!"

"CANNIBAL!!"

"…"

"Wait, why are they arguing during a sleepover?" Hiyoshi asked.

"Ore-sama has no clue…" Atobe answered.

"Unless they're experiencing their monthly," Oshitari added.

"I'M NOT A GIRL!!" Mukahi cried out.

"But you look like one," Shishido said.

"HEY, YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!"

"I WILL NOT!!"

"NARGLEFICS!!"

"…Huh?"

And that's how the Hyoutei regulars spent their sleepover. Nice, wasn't it?

* * *

…

Pointless crack. XD


	48. Chapter 48

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Forty-Eight**

_**I will not demand Shishido to cut his hair and sell it on eBay.**_

* * *

"But you should, though!" Mukahi protested. "I mean, like, people worship you all the time. I bet even Ootori would buy it for like, 1000 yen or something!"

Shishido glared at him. "Idiot, I already cut my hair!! If I cut it even more I'm going to like, grow bald or something!"

"Actually, the correct term isn't growing bald, it's getting bald," Oshitari corrected. "Since you aren't balding or anything, and I don't think you're old enough to bald yet."

"…Whatever."

"Shishido!! Ore-sama has a question!"

"…Shoot."

"Why did Germany lead the industrialization period?"

"Uh, because it had ample coal and iron resources, and it had an educated work force?"

"Ore-sama thanks you."

"Is this for your history homework?"

"No, Ore-sama was just testing to see if you were stupid or not."

"…Okay."

"Dude, it sounds like you said amputated work force," Mukahi commented.

Shishido just stared at him.

Actually, everyone stared at him.

Mukahi stared back. "What?"

"What the frick is an amputated work force?" Shishido asked.

Mukahi shrugged. "I was just saying. Anyways, you should cut your hair and sell it on eBay, I mean, you could make a lot of money from that."

"Seriously, I don't know anyone who would want my hair."

"Oh, don't be so modest. Of course, I wouldn't want it, but still, other people might."

"Why?"

"Because they fangirl you like crazy. Obviously they just love people who play tennis."

"And obviously everyone hates you."

"HEY, NOT EVERYONE HATES ME!!"

"I don't believe that."

"Yuushi doesn't hate me, right, Yuushi?" Mukahi turned to Oshitari with hopeful eyes.

"Well, perhaps 'hate' is much too strong of a word…"

"Yuushi! You're mean!!"

"…"

"By the way, you should really sell your hair on eBay. It'd make a lot of money."

"Okay, I don't want to get bald, even if it is for money."

"But you have to like, cut your hair every three months, right?"

"Yeah…" Shishido gave him a weird look.

"Then just ask the barber to collect your hair and put it in a little baggy for you once you're done!"

"…And why would I do that?"

"SO YOU CAN SELL IT ON EBAY, DUHH!!" Mukahi rolled his eyes as if he had just met the stupidest person on earth.

"YOU IDIOT, I'D ACTUALLY LIKE TO KEEP MY HAIR YOU KNOW!!!"

Mukahi winced. "Okay, okay, whatever. Jeez, you moodswing like a pregnant lady."

"I DO NOT MOODSWING LIKE A PREGNANT LADY!!"

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Fine. You moodswing like a pregnant lady on crack."

"I DO NOT!!"

"DO TOO!!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"BISMARCK WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!" Jirou shouted.

"HE WAS NOT, HE WAS THE ASSISTANT OF THE PRUSSIAN EMPEROR!!!" Mukahi shouted back. "I think…"

"Actually, he was the assistant for the emperor of…some country that started with an S." Shishido corrected.

"Wait, then…" Jirou looked confused. "Who's the first president of the United States?"

"George Washington, duhh."

"…I don't like History."

"No one likes it. Not even the moodswinging on crack person," Mukahi said.

"I'M NOT PREGNANT, MOODSWINGING, NOR AM I ON CRACK!" Shishido shouted.

"Try saying that WITHOUT shouting."

"I'M TELLING YOU, I'M NOT PREGNANT, MOODSWINGING, OR ON CRACK!"

"OMG STUPIDEST IS ACTUALLY A WORD!!" Jirou shouted.

Shishido stared. "How?"

"I TYPED IT UP IN MICROSOFT WORD AND IT WORKED!! THERE WASN'T A RED SQUIGGLY LINE THING!!"

"BUT STUPIDEST ISN'T A FRICKING WORD!!"

"You see? You do moodswing like a pregnant lady," Mukahi said.

"I DO NOT!!"

"Yeah, like, that's so totally believeable."

"I DON'T!"

"…You do."

"CRACKHEAD!"

"And now you're acting like a four year old," Mukahi stated. "Definitely moodswings."

"HEY!!"

* * *

Yeah…XD 


	49. Chapter 49

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Forty-Nine**

_**I will not stalk Kikumaru to prove my day was better than his.**_

* * *

"Gakuto, would you mind telling me why we are here?" Oshitari asked.

"Shut up, Yuushi. You're making me lose my concentration."

"Gakuto, if you're going to do anything drastic again you know Atobe's going to have your head on a platter."

"Whatever." Mukahi rolled his eyes. "I'm just stalking, big deal."

The two were currently crouched under a bush not too far away from a burger shop. The reason? No one knew, Mukahi just decided to drag Oshitari along with him to go stalk someone.

"Gakuto, if you're stalking Kikumaru-" Oshitari started.

Mukahi interrupted him. "I actually have a good reason for stalking him this time, you know."

"…What?"

"I'm stalking him so I can prove to Shishido that my day is better than his!" Mukahi exclaimed proudly.

"…I'm going home."

"Yuushi! You're mean!" Mukahi whined.

"I do not want to partake in any stalking of sorts just because you got into another argument with Shishido," Oshitari stated primly.

"But this is important!"

"Apparently it's more important than going to tennis practice."

"BUT I GET TO STALK THE PERSON THAT I HATE!" Mukahi protested loudly.

"…"

"THAT'S BEEN LIKE, MY FAITHFUL DREAM EVER SINCE I WAS TWO!!"

"Gakuto, I believe you need to get your priorities straightened out."

"Where they ever crooked?"

"That's not what I meant."

"…I was taking it literally."

"…"

"Hm…" Mukahi took out a pair of binoculars and looked through them. "It seems that Kikumaru is eating something."

"There's a 99.9 percent chance that it's a hamburger," Oshitari muttered.

Mukahi looked at him. "What are you, the new Inui?"

"…It's common sense; they're in a burger shop."

"Well they could be eating other things!"

"Like…what?"

"Like…fries! Or coke! Or maybe they decided to eat the cup just cause they felt like it!"

"Gakuto, people don't 'eat' coke, they drink it. And no one would try to eat the plastic cup."

"…Well fine. Be that way. And what about the 0.01 percent?"

"The 0.01 is just in case they're not eating anything at all. Which is almost impossible, because Kikumaru eats all the time."

"Isn't 0.01 just the same thing as almost impossible? It sounds so…redundant." Mukahi frowned. "Wait, what does redundant mean?"

"…Let's get back to tennis practice."

"But I'm still stalking him! We aren't going back until I prove that my day's better than his!"

"Gakuto, you're too stubborn."

"Yuushi, you never try to prove that you're smart."

"…"

"Wait, yes you do. You show off everyday in math class."

"Gakuto, I'm leaving now."

"YUUSHI, THAT'S NOT FAIR!!! YOU HAVE TO STAY!!!" Mukahi shouted, clinging onto Oshitari.

"This activity is pointless, and I have no reason to stay here," Oshitari said. "And Atobe will have us running thirty extra laps for disappearing from practice."

"Wait! He's coming out of the building! Quick, hide!"

"Gakuto, I'm not hiding."

"But we're stalking, how can you not hide?"

"Because I'm not the one partaking the stalking, you are."

* * *

"So, did you find out anything?" Shishido asked.

Mukahi glared at him. "Oh yeah, I found out A LOT. I found out he first went to a burger shop and ate BURGERS. Then they went to some tennis court and they got to play TENNIS. Then, he went home and got to play video games! AND I WAS STUCK IN A FREAKING BUSH STALKING HIM, AND THEN ATOBE FOUND ME AND MADE ME RUN 20 LAPS AROUND HIS MANSION. DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG HIS MANSION IS?! IT'S LIKE, FREAKING HUGE!"

"So basically his day was better than yours."

"Obviously."

"Ah, the irony."

"Shishido, you're dead meat."

* * *

Ah, classical irony. Something that is definitely happening in English class right now. PSHH. 


	50. Chapter 50

**Ah, last chapter.**

**Really, I don't know what I should do with the remaining like, three ideas that are either sitting in my inbox or reviews. Gah X.x**

**50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifty**

_**I will not speak about tampons when Shishido is already freaking out.**_

* * *

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, I ACTUALLY TRUSTED YOU FOR LIKE, A WHILE AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW, I TOTALLY GET BITTEN IN THE ASS FOR IT!" Shishido shouted.

"Shishido, it wasn't wise at all the trust Gakuto from the start. I mean, Gakuto can do anything, really."

"What, all I did was cut off like, a itty bitty bit of his hair and sold it on eBay! And now the kid's spazzing at me like a person high on like, coffee or something."

"And if you ever did that to Atobe's hair, he'd kick you off the team immediately," Oshitari said.

Mukahi shrugged. "Doesn't matter, his hair's a wig anyways."

"ORE-SAMA'S HAIR IS NOT A WIG!" Atobe countered from somewhere far, far away.

"Fine!" Mukahi shouted back. "It's made out of blueberry frappucino!!"

"ORE-SAMA STILL HASN'T FORGIVEN YOU FOR THAT INCIDENT!!!"

"Well you know what, I-…wait, I just lost my train of thought again."

"Let's face it, you never had one," Shishido growled.

"YES I DID!"

"YOU LOST YOUR MIND A LONG TIME AGO KID."

"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS CAUSE I CUT YOUR HAIR WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION."

"GO DIE!!"

"HEY, AT LEAST I WASN'T AS STUPID AS TO BLOW UP ATOBE'S STUPID GARAGE WITH POPSCICLE STICKS!!"

"Dude, you just like, insulted your doubles partner."

"Right…"

"Fu…fu…"

"I think he's pissed," Mukahi stated.

"No really now. He's just having this strange, angry aura just cause he feels happy and wants to be the Easter Bunny this year."

"You wanna know what I bet? I bet he's going to make you eat cream cheese sushi," Shishido said.

Mukahi gasped. "Oh no! Not the horrid sushi of DOOM!!"

"Yes, the horrid sushi of doom."

"You said it wrong."

"How?"

"It's supposed to be horrid sushi of DOOM, not horrid sushi of doom."

"…I don't see the difference."

"Not doom, but DOOM."

"…I still don't see a difference."

"SHISHIDO, YOU'RE STUPID!!" Mukahi cried out. "I BET YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A TAMPON IS!!"

Shishido's eyebrow twitched. "I know what that is."

"OH REALLY?!"

"Yeah…really."

"OH REALLY REALLY?!"

"Yeah, really really."

"I BET YOU DON'T!"

"I bet I do."

"You didn't even get Opposite Week!!"

"Neither did you. And what does Opposite Week have to do with anything?"

"Ore-sama-" Atobe began.

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"LIST-"

"No."

"I think I'm going to go out for a walk…" Shishido said.

"Wait!! Take this with you!!" Mukahi threw a strange, random object at him.

Shishido ducked. "What the heck was that?!"

"It's something that you obviously need."

WE INTERRUPT THIS CHAPTER FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY RANDOM AND UNNECESSARY AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY.

"I don't get it. Why did make a genre called 'WTF'?" Mukahi asked.

"I think it's the genre that you're supposed to be in," Shishido said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"NO IT IS NOT!!!"

"Yeah it is. I swear like three-quarters of the humor section is probably going to get transferred into the 'WTF' section."

"Why?"

"Because it's like, crack."

"…"

"And it totally doesn't make any sense and it makes people go into 'WTF' mood."

"…"

"And their families ponder on their sanity."

"…"

"You're totally not getting this, are you?"

"No, not really."

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE. NOW BACK TO THE CHAPTER.

"…No, seriously, what was it?"

"A tampon, duhh."

"AND WHY WOULD I NEED THAT?!"

"'Cause, I bet you're totally a girl in disguise."

"What do you take me for, a Mary Sue?"

"Yeah."

"…"

"I mean, even Yuushi agrees with me!!"

"…No he doesn't."

"I don't, Gakuto, stop making up random things," Oshitari called out.

"Well, still, I totally believe he's a girl in disguise who's playing tennis illegally in a boy's tennis team."

"…"

"Okay, so once upon a time there was a Mary Sue named Shishido Ryou who totally joined the tennis team just so he could meet Ootori Choutarou, cause Shishido is just a stalker and he totally is a Mary Sue. Yeah, so like, the coach found out and he was all like 'don't worry, we don't care if you're a girl' and blah blah blah."

"That's total BS," Shishido growled.

"Well, it's totally true." Mukahi flipped his hair.

"…What was that?"

"What?"

"The flipping hair thing."

"Oh, that was just my awesome like, recreation of Wicked."

"…"

Mukahi flipped his hair again.

"Now I'm thinking you're the girl."

"ORE-SAMA-" Atobe tried again.

"SHUT UP, ATOBE!!"

"Gosh, everyone's so irrespectful to our captain," Mukahi snorted.

"Don't you mean disrespectful?"

"Yeah, whatever, same thing. You're still a girl."

"I'm not."

Mukahi held out a picture. "Says this."

"YOU IDIOT, THAT'S THE PHOTOSHOPPED PICTURE THAT YOU MADE!!"

"AHA! SEE, YOU'RE PMSING NOW!!"

Bang!

They turned around.

And saw Atobe on the floor.

"Gakuto, Ryou, please stop arguing. You've gotten Atobe into fits," Oshitari said.

"…How?"

"You both raised his blood pressure, and now he's lying on the floor unconscious."

"I KNOW! WE SHOULD DRAW ON HIS FACE!" Mukahi cried out.

"…"

* * *

Heh…last chapter. Yay!

Meh. I'm tired. XD


	51. Chapter 51

**Don't ask why I decided to change it to 100 things, I just did. I was considering it cause…I dunno, Demon Brat 2000 refused to update her 50 Things so I decided to torture her cause now she has to follow me and make 100 as well.**

**Not…**

**Maybe I was totally bored. I dunno. I'm weird, so there. I wanted to write crack again for a change anyways. XD**

**And I'm not bothering changing the title to '100 things' for the previous 50 chapters, cause it'd take too long and I'm too lazy. XP. It'll just become 100 things after chapter 50, so yays.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifty-One**

_**I will not mention meat pies in front of Mukahi Gakuto ever again.**_

* * *

"Okay so something really weird happened yesterday," Mukahi began explaining, even though no one was listening."

"No one cares," Shishido said. Okay, so maybe at least someone was listening…kind of.

"Just listen." Mukahi took a deep breath. "Okay, so my dad was cleaning out our car and then I realized that our car's like, four years old. Like, _four_ years old man! That's like, older than my baby cousin!"

"…No, really now. Okay, obviously a baby should be older than four years old. No. Just…no."

"Well I thought it was interesting," Mukahi protested, making a face. "I mean, four years old! That's even older than Atobe's limo!"

"Ore-sama changes his limo every six months," Atobe said, raising his eyebrow. "Unlike you peasants."

"No one's as rich as you," Mukahi huffed defiantly, crossing his arms. "Anyways aren't we supposed to do some movie review."

"Yeah, Sweeney Todd," Shishido answered, picking up a sheet of paper and folding it in thirds. "We're supposed to make it into a brochure for advertisement purposes or something."

"Sweeney Todd?" Mukahi made a face. "I haven't watched that yet."

"We haven't either; it's an R rated movie."

"…What the fuck?"

"We're not supposed to do a R rated movie review, are we?" Ootori asked worriedly. "I mean, we're not even supposed to watch it without parent permission."

"No, my question is this." Mukahi cleared his throat. "Why are we making a movie review for a movie we haven't even watched yet? And why a R rated movie?"

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Because it's about a barber and something about meat pies; I dunno, ask Atobe, he was the one who chose it."

"What the heck, Atobe chose an R rated movie to do a movie review on?" Mukahi glanced at his captain skeptically.

Atobe was too busy examining his fingernails to notice the red-haired boy.

"Gakuto, you know our teacher doesn't care about the content; he rarely reads anything we write. As long as we make it seem presentable everything's fine," Oshitari explained.

"Does that explain why I have a 98 in that class?" Mukahi raised an eyebrow.

"Possibly."

"Okay, I'll draw a meat pie then!" Mukahi began sorting out through his pile of colored pencils. "Wait, what are the meat pies made out of again?"

"I dunno, meat?" Shishido said sarcastically. "Like, seriously. You make a pie crust and then fill it with meat. Yum."

"Ore-sama believes it's made from humans," Atobe called out, still examining his nails.

"What the fuck?" Mukahi dropped his box of colors. "How the heck am I supposed to draw a human meat pie?"

"Atobe, are you sure it was made out of human meat?" Oshitari asked. "Have you even watched the movie yet?"

"Kabaji told Ore-sama," Atobe answered, even though he clearly wasn't paying attention.

"Kabaji talks?" Mukahi had picked up his colors, only to drop them again on the floor. "Like, he actually talks?"

"Yes."

"…"

"Okay, just draw the meat pie already," Shishido grumbled, folding some construction paper. "No one cares if it's beef or human, just make it look bloody and be done with it."

"I feel sick…" Mukahi was wincing.

"Maybe there should be a finger in there somewhere…if it's actually made out of humans. Maybe even an eyeball; at least it shows we know what we're doing."

"I hate this class, I hate meat pies, I'm never going to eat meat ever again," Mukahi was saying to himself.

"Shishido, I think you need to stop," Oshitari warned. "Gakuto's getting sick."

"Want to come to the dark side? We have glitter!" Mukahi was grinning now.

"…I think he just went insane."

* * *

**I haven't actually watched Sweeney Todd; all references were made by my friends who actually watched it. I couldn't go. T.T.**


	52. Chapter 52

**Y****ay, all hell has commenced as I struggle to put up 49 more chapters of this fic. Yay.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifty-Two**

_**I will not tell the teacher that she has bad fashion sense.**_

* * *

"We have math class next," Shishido grumbled, laying his head down on his desk. "The most hated subject throughout history 'cause we hate thinking."

"We should totally make the teacher pissed off," Mukahi declared, nodding. "Yeah, then the class won't be so boring anymore."

"We shouldn't, Gakuto," Oshitari advised.

"Trust me." Yes, Mukahi Gakuto really can be trusted with these kinds of things, can't he?

No, he is not to be trusted with anything. Especially with teachers.

"Sensei," Mukahi called out, raising his hand. "Can I go to my locker and get my sunglasses?"

The teacher stared at him. "Why?"

"Because your yellow shirt's blinding and burning my eyes out," Mukahi replied matter-of-factly. "It totally doesn't go with your black skirt."

Oshitari nudged his doubles partner. "You might want to stop."

"Relax, Yuushi, I totally know what I'm doing."

Oshitari almost rolled his eyes. _As if._

The teacher was staring at Mukahi. "What does my shirt and skirt have to do with anything?"

"Exactly. It _doesn't_," Mukahi insisted. "You have bad fashion sense, sensei."

"No, what I mean is, why would you need sunglasses?"

"Because you have bad fashion sense, sensei."

"So you need sunglasses for my bad fashion sense?"

"Exactly."

Shishido looked over at Oshitari. "I don't get it."

Oshitari sighed. "Neither do I."

"You should start wearing more normal clothes," Mukahi declared, folding his arms. "Because the outfit you're wearing right now makes you look like…I dunno…not a human?"

The teacher raised her head a little. "In case you didn't know, it's called formality. A teacher can't just come in teaching a class while wearing jeans, am I correct?"

Mukahi stared at her. "No. Who the heck made up a rule as stupid as that?"

"It's a societal rule, Mukahi-san," the teacher answered, pushing her glasses up.

"You know what you should do? You should start reading fashion magazines and copying them or something. You know, it probably could help you teach better."

"Where the hell does he get this stuff from, his mom?" Shishido muttered.

"It's probably from Atobe; he's an ass when it comes to fashion," Oshitari replied.

Shishido dropped his pencil. "Since when does he talk to Atobe?"

"Since about two weeks ago, when Mukahi complimented him on his hair. It really was a sarcastic comment, but Atobe didn't get it, and now Atobe's been bothering him constantly on and off the courts."

"The whole team's gone psycho…"

"No, not really, Hiyoshi still is somewhat sane," Oshitari said.

"No, he isn't."

"It's not like he's planning on taking over the world anytime soon," Oshitari reminded him.

"No, he isn't," Shishido rolled his eyes. "Of course he isn't plotting world domination. He's just plotting to take over Atobe's position, _then_ take over the world."

"No, it's more like this," Oshitari explained. "First it's taking over Atobe's position. Then it's stealing Atobe's position as heir to some company Atobe's father owns. Then it's taking over the government, and once he's done that, _then_ he takes over the world. But the possibility of that happening is about 0.01 percent, so I don't think it's really going to happen."

"Whatever, it still doesn't change the fact that this team's gone INSANE."

Oshitari just shrugged.

Shishido wondered why he spent fives minutes arguing with Oshitari to only have the blue-haired boy shrug at the end.

Meanwhile Mukahi was still arguing with the teacher. "I'm telling you, wearing a clip in your hair doesn't mean you've gone totally gangster or something!"

"Mukahi-san, principal's office NOW."

"I'm giving you fashionable advice and you just wave it off? Well fine, apparently SOMEONE'S PMSing."

"Principal's office to the count of three or I'm going to call the police!" the teacher screeched.

"You don't need to, the police have already been called to investigate him like, a billion times already," Shishido called out.

"And what was the result?!"

"He was admitted as a incurable case."

"Isn't it…uncurable?" Mukahi pointed out.

"MUKAHI-SAN, YOU'RE BANNED FROM ATTENDING THIS SCHOOL EVER AGAIN! NO, WAIT, GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY!!"

"Just for giving you advice on your bad fashion sense?!"

"OUT! NOW!!"

* * *

**Poor Gakuto. XD**


	53. Chapter 53

**I probably won't be updating for quite a while, since I might possibly not have internet access for a large portion of the summer. I know, sad, isn't it? **

**Hope everyone will wait for me!!**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifty-Three**

_**I will not talk about monkeys falling out of trees ever again.**_

* * *

"You know what I hate the most?" Mukahi asked.

"I dunno, stupid people?" Shishido guessed. "Which means you, by the way, if you didn't know already."

"No, of course not!" Mukahi brushed that totally ridiculous thought aside. "That's _stupid_ to hate yourself, you know? And some people are stupid for a reason, you know."

"Unlike you," Shishido said between coughs.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Well, as I was _trying_ to say, I absolutely hate jokes that don't make any sense whatsoever." Mukahi nodded. "Like, jokes about monkeys, for example."

"Oh, I have a good one!" Jirou cried out.

"It better be good."

Jirou acted as if he hadn't heard Mukahi's last comment. "Okay, so why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?"

"We don't know. And what does this have to do with tennis practice?" Shishido rolled his eyes.

"Nothing. Anyways, the first monkey fell out of the tree because he DIED."

"…That was a stupid joke," Mukahi said blandly.

"It gets better, I promise!!" Jirou urged. "Okay, so why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?"

"I dunno."

"Because he was stapled to the first monkey!!"

"…"

"And why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?"

"…I dunno."

"Because he was laughing too hard! And what about the fourth monkey?"

"What, there's _more_ monkeys?!" Shishido groaned.

"Because he thought it was a game!!" Jirou finished proudly.

"Please don't tell me there's a fifth monkey." Mukahi was twitching ever so slightly.

"Nope, only four monkeys fell out. But I can think of more if you want."

"NO. NO. NO. That joke was just awful!"

"Yeah, it was," Shishido admitted. "It's like asking why did the monkey cross the road."

"Why?" Jirou asked eagerly, eyes wide.

"…I dunno, maybe it was 'cause he was stapled to the chicken?"

"…What. The. Fuck." Mukahi looked like he was about to throw something.

"I think the fifth monkey should fall out because he was studying about the domino effect during physics," Jirou wondered aloud.

"Jirou, might I kindly remind you that monkeys don't really learn physics to begin with," Oshitari said.

"It was just an idea."

"It's a stupid idea," Mukahi started bitching. "Maybe the monkey should just fall out because he FELT like it."'

"No, here's an even better idea," Shishido exclaimed sarcastically. "How about we say they all fell because they got scared of Atobe?"

"Why, because he's the Monkey King?"

"No, because his mole makes monkeys scared."

"Oh."

"I was just being sarcastic, yes, it's because he's technically the Monkey King."

"…?"

"You people are just plain STUPID."

"Ah? What is this? Ore-sama feels like someone is mocking me," Atobe reprimanded.

"Wow…way to state the obvious," Shishido said sarcastically.

"…Ah?"

"DOES ANYONE OUT HERE UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF SARCASM?!"

"…"

"Don't be so mean, he's probably just not very smart today because he ate lima beans," Mukahi said, whacking Shishido on the head. "Bad Ryou!!"

"What does lima beans have to do with it?!"

"It just DOES."

"…"

"Shishido, I think you should take a cold shower. A VERY cold shower," Mukahi stated while nodding his head. "Yes, I think a cold shower would be lovely."

"Why?"

"Because you're in a bad mood today. Like, an extremely over reactive bad mood."

"…"

"And also because-" Mukahi was cut off by Oshitari.

"Let's not go there, Gakuto. There's still underclassmen here."

"Ah? Was there an implication of Ore-sama not knowing what sarcasm was?"

"…He really is stupid."

"Did Ore-sama just hear correctly?" Atobe was twitching. "Did you just call Ore-sama _stupid_?"

"…"

* * *

O.O This wasn't as good as I had hoped.

Angela has the easier job 'cause it's RIKKAI. But NOOO. She never updates, does she?! T.T


	54. Chapter 54

**H****ahahaha. Um, I'm updating more than Angela. So I guess I'm okay? XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifty-Four**

_**I will not try making Atobe eat 'normal' food ever again.**_

* * *

"I've told you guys countless times already," Mukahi said impatiently. "If Atobe doesn't get used to normal food and we have another ice age or something, he's going to like, die in a day."

"May I remind you Gakuto that if we ever have an ice age, there will be _no_ food whatsoever," Oshitari commented, turning to the next page of his physics lab report.

"And may I also remind you if an asteroid hits our earth, you won't even need physics anymore," Mukahi shot back.

"Gakuto, the chances of that happening are slimmer than us having another ice age."

"Well the chances of your…your racket becoming prettier are slimmer than both of those combined!"

Oshitari was about to open his mouth for another retort before Shishido stopped him. "Don't mind him," the brunette said. "Don't let his illogical reasoning get to you."

"May I remind you that I am his doubles partner; therefore I should know more about him than you," Oshitari stated.

"Um, sure. Like, do you know what boxers he's wearing today? 'Cause of you do, that's just creepy. Why are we even trying to help Atobe anyway? It's like he's done any of us good."

"Shishido!" Mukahi exclaimed. "Atobe is a very kind gentleman who is a faithful captain! How could you?"

"…You're joking, right?"

"No!"

"…That's it. He's finally snapped."

"You've said that a billion times already," Oshitari interjected.

"Yeah, but this time, I mean it for _real."_

"And somewhere down the next few days or so you'll say it again."

Mukahi was ranting about how great Atobe-sama was while Oshitari and Shishido were still debating about Mukahi's mental stability.

"Wait, I've got it!" Mukahi exclaimed, stopping his rant. "We should take Atobe to a Chinese restaurant and make him eat chicken feet!"

Shishido winced. "Why do I feel like you're trying to kill Atobe instead of trying to help him survive on normal food? Heck, is chicken feet even normal food?"

"It is," Mukahi insisted, nodding. "It's like, a Chinese classic or something. Besides, there's plenty of chickens in the world; if we suffer from an ice age, Atobe can go hunt a chicken and eat its feet."

"If he hunts for a freaking chicken, I think he'll try roasting the wings or something first, instead of going for its legs."

"At least he won't waste like, its body parts or something."

"Nice. Next up, how about we suggest a meal of chicken bones?"

"Actually, you can break open the bones and eat the marrow inside of it too."

"Where the hell do you get all this stuff anyway," Shishido demanded. "Do you like, go on the internet and look up 'delectable cuisines' or something?"

"No, my dad's actually a world famous cook who used to live in Boston," Mukahi declared proudly.

"No he isn't…"

"Yes he is."

"You've really lost it this time. You're like, a whole different person now."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"No, because you're still _stupid_. And seriously, you don't even know what you parents' occupations now!"

"My mom works at a hospital!" Mukahi announced proudly.

"…"

"Ore-sama is feeling there is a bit of sarcasm in the air," Atobe announced.

"…I think you still don't know what sarcasm is," Shishido replied.

"Oh, Atobe-buchou!" Mukahi exclaimed, ignoring the raised eyebrows of his teammates. "Might I suggest a meal of chicken's feet today?"

Atobe gave him a look. "Chicken's…feet? Ah, I sense some sarcasm."

"Actually, if it were any other day, I would've agreed with you," Shishido interjected. "But today, I think he's totally lost it, so he's not being sarcastic at all; rather, he's being truthful to his words."

"Ah?"

"…You're as stupid as Gakuto."

"Ore-sama is not stupid! In fact, Ore-sama…" And Atobe went off on another rant.

"…I hate my life."


	55. Chapter 55

**I ****give credit to Angela for this. She's Demon Brat 2000 by the way. She was all like 'MOMMI, MAKE A IDEA OUT OF…' and I was like 'O.o ok…'**

**Heheh.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifty-Five**

_**I will not call Oshitari 'Osshi'.**_

* * *

"We should get code names," Jirou announced one day. "So like, if somebody like, tries taking over the school, we can talk to each other and call each other by code names."

"Don't you have anything else better to do besides thinking up weird, random stuff?" Shishido demanded. "Like, for once, not falling asleep and doing your homework?"

"But homework's boring! It isn't as exciting as thinking up of code names!"

"It's not like you learn anything from making up code names."

"Well it's not like you learn anything from doing your homework," Jirou retorted.

"…True."

"Where'd you even get the idea of people taking over the school, anyway?" Shishido asked, at least trying to do some of his math homework.

"From this really short drama thing!" Jirou exclaimed. "It has Yanagi Koutaro in it!!"

"Yanagi who?"

"Yanagi Koutaro," Jirou said impatiently. "You know who he is, don't you?"

"No."

"I can't _believe_ you're even in Hyoutei!"

"…I don't get what being in Hyoutei has to do with not knowing who Yanagi Koutaro is."

"Mou, you don't even watch TV, do you?!" Jirou looked like he was about to cry.

"Um, don't cry?" Shishido was already coming down with some sort of headache, and he didn't want the shrieks of someone crying to add to his pain. He didn't understand why someone would cry just because he didn't watch as much TV as the average human would.

He needed aspirins. _Now._

If one didn't know any better, they would've mistaken him for Tezuka, or even Sanada.

He really should've remembered to bring his super deluxe supply of aspirins with him to school.

"Shishido's code name should be 'frownie'," Jirou claimed, sniffing.

"…Why does my name have to be all weird?!"

"Because you frown so much and you look just as mean as Tezuka! You even _glare_!"

"I do _not_."

"Yes you do!" Jirou cried out. "See, you just did it again."

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Gee, I wonder who I've got to blame for that."

"Muka-kun!" Jirou replied. "Oh, I just thought of a perfect name for him!"

"…What?"

"Radish!"

"_Why?!_"

"Because his hair is all red, that's why!" Jirou answered him.

"He's even stupider than a radish," Shishido muttered to himself.

"_Hey, I can hear you!"_ a voice cried from far, far away.

"How the heck can he hear me?! Isn't he supposed to be home sick or something?"

"Radish has awesome hearing capabilities, I guess." Jirou shrugged. "That reminds me! Tari-kun's nickname should be Osshi!!"

"…Say what?"

"Osshi!" Jirou repeated.

"That's just stupid," Shishido deadpanned.

"It is not!" Jirou retorted. "It's a direct variation from his name! It's more easy to pronounce than 'Oshitari'."

"…Can't you just call him 'Tari-kun' or whatever and be done with it?"

"Osshi is only two syllables while Tari-kun is three syllables! I don't want to pronounce three syllables; that's too boring!" Jirou complained.

"Okay…"

"Osshi!! Osshi!! AHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!"

"…"

"It rhymes!"

"You freak me out."

…

Somewhere nearby, within earshot, Oshitari was twitching. "That's a stupid name."

**OMAKE**

"Hey, Osshi, help me with my math homework!" Mukahi called out to his doubles partner.

"No. Stop calling me that ridiculous name."

"Aw, but it rhymes with Yuushi! And plus, it's _so_ much shorter than Yuushi!"

"It's only one letter's difference, Gakuto."

"Well, I'm lazy, so deal with it."

"…"

* * *

_To clarify, the drama I was talking about was Puzzle. And yes, Yanagi Koutaro is like, one of the main protagonists. It's only four episodes though, but you can find it on crunchyroll. XD_

_However, just to make things clear, they do not use code names. The only resemblance is the taking over school part. But that's it. XD_


	56. Chapter 56

**C****redit goes to Angela again. Because she's just that awesome. And our MSN conversations are weird. But seriously, she REALLY needs to update. Rikkai's so crackish!!**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifty-Six**

_**I will not try to bomb Seigaku with an onion.**_

* * *

"Onward we march!" Mukahi shouted.

"Um, Mukahi-senpai, is this really a good idea?" Ootori asked worriedly. "Um, I don't think we should bomb Seigaku. It's too mean."

Mukahi waved a hand in the air. "Relax, it's not like it's life threatening or anything."

"How is bombing a school _not_ life threatening?" Shishido demanded. "Why the hell am I even here?!"

"I dunno, maybe it's 'cause you were following your doubles partner."

"You tied him up," Hiyoshi stated simply, pointing to the ropes that were currently encircling around Shishido.

"That's not the point. He could've broken free."

"You tied him up with A LOT of rope. As in, you tied him up so much that now he looks like a mummy."

Mukahi shrugged it off. "It's not like he didn't look feminine in the first place."

It took a few moments for the statement to register in everyone's minds. "That's not what I meant," Hiyoshi said.

"Whatever. I'm more interested in bombing the school."

Everyone waited, looking at Shishido.

"What?" he demanded. "Why is everyone looking at me?!"

"You're supposed to say it," Ootori said quietly.

"…What?"

Ootori coughed.

"I still don't get it."

"You're supposed to say that Mukahi-senpai finally went insane," Hiyoshi deadpanned.

"…I don't think I'm allowed to say it anymore."

"Why not?!" Mukahi demanded.

"Why are you questioning it; it's insulting YOU!"

"It just doesn't seem normal, okay?!"

"Well, I'm not allowed to say it anymore because Oshitari bitched at me a while ago about being a repetitive idiot. He was all like 'stop saying he's insane; you say it all the time and you're never actually serious about it!'."

"Whatever, the important thing is, we're going to bomb Seigaku with an onion."

It took a moment for the people accompanying Mukahi to fully comprehend what he had just said.

"Did you just say that you were going to bomb Seigaku with an onion?" Shishido finally asked.

"No," Mukahi answered.

Ootori let out a breath that he had been holding.

"I said _we're_ going to bomb Seigaku with an onion; not just me."

One…

Two…

Three…

"YOU'RE STUPID!" Shishido shouted, trying to whack Mukahi's head. Unfortunately, he was tied up at the time, so that didn't really work. "You're saying you're going to try to _bomb Seigaku with an onion?!"_

"S-Shishido-san…"

"Of course!" Mukahi crowed proudly. He held up an onion. "This miraculous device will pit Seigaku to its downfall!"

"More like 'this miraculous device will make the Seigaku regulars laugh their arses off'," Shishido muttered.

"What was that?"

"…Nothing."

"Well, here goes something!" Mukahi yelled, throwing the onion towards the school gate. "FLY!!"

"…More like…I dunno, drop on the ground and smash," Shishido muttered.

Much to everyone's demise (except for Mukahi's) the onion magically started bouncing on the ground. It jumped over the gate and started bouncing for the tennis courts.

"…Someone tell me I'm hallucinating," Shishido stated. "Someone…_please_ tell me I've lost it."

"…"

"Mission complete!" Mukahi declared.

They all heard a very, very loud explosion.

"…"

* * *

"Unfortunately, three tennis regulars from Hyoutei Gakuen were sent to the hospital. We do not know of the reasons as of yet, but officials are suspicious they suffered from extreme shock."

* * *

XDD totally random…


	57. Chapter 57

**I'm procrastinating so much…**

**Ironically, summer has made me lazier. Hm, this sucks. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifty-Seven**

_**I will not go berserk over Japanese dramas.**_

* * *

"Ore-sama today wants to try a new practice formation," Atobe announced to his fellow peers.

Honestly though, no one was listening to the egotistical captain of Hyoutei. They were all minding their own business, and didn't give a crap about what their captain had to say. In any other case, this would have been a serious problem, but since this was Hyoutei, it probably wasn't such a big deal.

Our faithful captain of Hyoutei unfortunately noticed this. "Is anyone listening to Ore-sama?!" Atobe demanded.

No answer.

"Ore-sama demands you to listen to me!"

Ignore. Ignore.

"Gakuto!" Atobe barked. The redhead ignored him, and instead was writing something in his notebook.

Atobe snatched it out of his hands and began reading it. Or, at least he _tried_ reading it. "Gakuto…what is this?"

"It's Japanese, Atobe," Mukahi answered innocently.

"I'm not sure if this is even Japanese or not," Atobe noted. "Ore-sama has never seen such horrendous handwriting! Your kanji look like _stick figures_."

"No it doesn't!" Mukahi defended, snatching his notebook back. "You see, this says 'Tokyo Ghost Trip' and this other one says 'Tadashii Ouji no Tsukurikata'."

"…?"

"It's Japanese dramas!" Mukahi said impatiently.

"I've watched both of those!" Jirou cried out, bouncing up and down. "Tokyo Ghost Trip was really weird, though. In the first episode someone DIED."

"He didn't die, he just kind of got hit by a car and flew up in the air. And then he fell on the ground in a weird position and then he had to go to a hospital and this other guy was freaking out and his brother was like…shocked."

"Tadashii Ouji no Tsukurikata was really sad, though," Jirou commented.

"The only reason why you thought it was sad was because Kirin got beaten up and you don't like it when Marui's Tenimyu actor gets beaten up."

"…Gakuto, what have you been doing these past few days?" Oshitari asked him.

"Um…watch Japanese dramas."

"And?"

"Um…watch TV."

"And?"

"Um…stare at the TV."

"And?"

"…I dunno."

"Did you even bother sleeping at all?"

"…I think so. I dunno, I might've."

Oshitari didn't even want to bother anymore.

"Tokyo Ghost Trip was kind of depressing too," Jirou commented.

"Only because Marui's Tenimyu actor got beaten up. Gosh, people must hate him."

"His Tenimyu actor's awesome!" Jirou cried out. "No one would ever hate him!"

"…Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"I have a feeling his Tenimyu actor gets beaten up a lot," Shishido muttered. Why was he even listening to this conversation anyway?

"You know, there's this new movie that just came out," Mukahi said.

"Café Daikanyama!" Jirou exclaimed.

"I think you stalk Marui's Tenimyu actor. I swear."

"No I don't!" Jirou protested. "I only know about it because of the cakes!"

"What the hell? Marui's Tenimyu actor is in a movie about cakes? What's wrong with him?" Shishido exclaimed

"He's not Marui, he's just Marui's Tenimyu actor," Mukahi stated. "And besides, it's not like they're pigging out on cakes or something. I think they make them."

"…What's your evidence?"

"The trailer that suddenly just magically disappeared."

"…I think you watch too much TV for your own good."

"No I don't."

"…"

* * *

"Mukahi Gakuto was admitted to the hospital earlier for exhaustion. Police reports say he was focused too much on his dramas and didn't bother sleeping, or even eating, for that matter. Officials are now looking into it."

* * *

What the heck…this sucked SO badly. It's so random…

I just felt the need to rant about Japanese dramas again, that's all.


	58. Chapter 58

**I won't have internet for at least three days because I'm going to Yellowstone. Which means no internet. Which means I can't post anything. Yeah, it sucks. XP**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifty-Eight**

_**I will not call 3-D Space Craft Pinball 'stupid'.**_

* * *

Mukahi and Shishido were lounging in Atobe's living room. Well, not really _lounging_; it was more like they were minding their own business on their personal laptops, and ignoring each other. For some reason the other six Hyoutei regulars weren't present. Why? We don't know, they just weren't. Maybe they got lost…

Well, anyway, Shishido was busy working on his History project like a good little boy, while Mukahi was playing games on his computer.

After a while Shishido looked up just 'cause he was bored. "What are you playing?" he asked.

"3-D Space Craft Pinball," Mukahi answered, not looking up.

"…So basically you're saying you're playing pinball."

"Yup."

"…What the fuck."

"Don't swear, it's bad," Mukahi commented, madly punching keys on his computer's keyboard.

"Who the hell plays pinball nowadays?"

"Um, people who like to play pinball?"

"What the _hell_, you have INTERNET. Why don't you freaking use it? Have you even started on your History project yet?"

"I finished it," Mukahi said emotionlessly.

Shishido stopped paying attention to his History project. "Come again?"

"I said I finished it," Mukahi repeated. "Oh crap, I just lost a ship! Fuck you, Shishido."

"You _finished_ your History project? And what the fuck, how is it my fault that you lost a ship?"

"It's your fault because you're distracting me," Mukahi snapped. "And who cares if I finished my History project or not. WTF, HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK I'M SUPPOSED TO LAUNCH THREE TIMES?! YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO LAUNCH IT?! DAMN YOU, PINBALL!!"

"You could just say 'what the fuck' instead of 'WTF'. And it's not the game's fault for being hard. What rank do you have anyway?"

"Cadet," Mukahi said.

"You're _still_ on cadet?! Dude, that's the lowest level! How are you _still_ on cadet?! You suck!"

Mukahi looked at him for a moment before going back to his game. "And you say I'm lame. You play pinball as much as me."

"Well it wasn't my fault," Shishido defended. "The clubroom didn't have internet, and I couldn't go outside because Atobe stole my clothes."

"…Come again?"

"Atobe stole my clothes. He said something about me being rude and inappropriate to Hyoutei's wonderful captain," Shishido explained. "Whatever that means."

"He obviously wants you to worship him," Mukahi replied. "And no, it's not that easy for me to do that launch. What the heck!"

"…"

"The stupid wormhole makes my ship go haywire."

"…Okay, and why would I want to know this?"

"I dunno, you're just sitting there and there's nothing better to do."

"What's your highest score on that game, anyway?"

"Um, 900,000."

"What the heck, that score's so low!" Shishido complained. "You suck at these games!"

"Pinball's hard, that's all. And I can't help it if you're like, a master at this game just because you practice like, everyday."

"I do not practice everyday!" Shishido protested. "Pinball's stupid, anyway."

"Pinball is _so_ not stupid!" Mukahi argued. "It's a fun game, and it's better than _you_ at any rate."

"It's a stupid game. Especially 3-D Space Cadet Pinball. What the heck, who even thought of that name anyway?"

"Pinball is not stupid because I said so!" Mukahi shouted. "And if you aren't going to agree with me I'll get Yuushi to steal your clothes again and lock you in the clubroom and make you play it for hours and hours! Without food or water!"

"…Um, okay."

So remember kids, don't call 3-D Space Cadet Pinball stupid. Chances are, you're going to be thrown in a deep, dark dungeon where there's a lot of rats…and a laptop.

Just kidding.

* * *

What the heck?! XD


	59. Chapter 59

**My brain is like…weird. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Fifty-Nine**

_**I will not give Atobe a banana as a gift.**_

* * *

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUCHOU!!" Mukahi cried out, jumping around. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"

"…It's not his birthday today," Shishido reminded him. "At least, I don't think it is. Whatever, I never pay attention to these kinds of things anyway."

"How can you _not_ know when his birthday is?! I mean, he RANTS about it everyday!!"

"…Today is not Ore-sama's birthday," Atobe interjected.

"…You lied to me!!" Mukahi accused, pointing a finger at his oh so beloved captain. _Not_. "YOU TOLD ME IT WAS TODAY!!"

"Ore-sama's birthday is not today! Ore-sama does not understand how you mistook today as my birthday when I specifically told you my birthday's in October!!"

"Well, I'm only off by three months!" Mukahi defended. "Anyways, here!" He threw a yellow shaped object at the captain.

Atobe caught it, and raised an eyebrow. "Ah? What is this?"

"…What the FUCK do you think it is?!" Shishido asked him. "It's a banana!"

"Ore-sama does not need such peasant foods in Ore-sama's home!" Atobe announced.

"FRUITS ARE NOT CALLED PEASANT FOODS, THEY'RE JUST NORMAL!" Shishido shouted.

"Shishido-san…" Ootori was trying to calm down his doubles partner. "It's…okay if he doesn't like bananas."

"Are you kidding me?!" Mukahi was giving Ootori an incredulous look. "He's _supposed_ to like bananas; he's the Monkey King for crying out loud!"

"Ore-sama thinks this is all just a ploy to make Ore-sama seem stupid," Atobe said. "Even though Ore-sama _isn't_."

"I think you're just stupid," Shishido said finally.

"Ore-sama is _not_ stupid! And how _dare_ you call Ore-sama Monkey King, ah? Gakuto, thirty laps, _now_!"

"I DON'T WANNA!" Mukahi cried out. "I DIDN'T KNOW CAPTAINS COULD GIVE THEIR TEAMMATES LAPS JUST BECAUSE THEY GAVE THEM A BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!"

"You gave him a banana," Shishido said incredulously. "How is that a present? He can buy it in a supermarket if he really wants to."

"HE'S SO RICH HE PROBABLY DOESN'T KNOW WHERE THE SUPERMARKETS ARE. I BET HE SITS OVER THERE EVERY DAY MESSING UP HIS HAIR WHILE HIS SERVANTS BUY GROCERIES FOR HIM!!" Mukahi shouted.

"Why are you shouting?!"

"BECAUSE I JUST CAN!!"

"…"

"Ore-sama does not want to deal with this anymore. Gakuto, laps, please." Atobe was rubbing his forehead. Hopefully he doesn't turn into a Tezuka, or a Sanada. We don't want him overdosing on pain medication, now do we?

"WE SHOULD TEACH HIM WHERE TO BUY HIS FOOD, IN CASE ALL HIS SERVANTS DIE OR SOMETHING!" Mukahi shouted.

"AGAIN, WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?!" Shishido shot back at him. "AND HE HAS TOO MANY SERVANTS; HOW DO ALL OF THEM DIE AT ONCE?!"

"UM, I DUNNO?! BLACK DEATH?!"

"…I think he's too clean for that."

Mukahi shrugged. "It could happen, you know."

Atobe sighed, putting the banana Mukahi gave him on a bench. He resumed practice, and left it there, forgotten.

_A few days later_

"Gakuto, run you laps, now!" Atobe commanded, arms crossed.

"Fine, fine!" Mukahi grumbled, starting to run. "Jeez, so pick-OW!"

Seven heads turned around and saw Mukahi lying on the ground, and immediately recognized the banana peel that was lying right next to his feet.

Mukahi was fuming. "WHO THE HELL LEFT A BANANA PEEL RIGHT NEXT TO THE TENNIS COURTS?!"

"Mukahi-senpai, um, I think that's the banana you gave to Atobe-buchou," Ootori said.

"Wait, but who ate the banana then?" Shishido asked.

"…"

* * *

WHO ATE THE BANANA?! WE WILL NEVER KNOW. BWAHAHAHA.

Ok, I'm done. XD


	60. Chapter 60

**I took in a request. Yay! XD**** T****his was a request by Death's Angel Shadow 2. Many apologies if I misspelled your name or something. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixty**

_**I will not force Jirou to drink lots of soda and see if that will keep him awake or not.**_

* * *

"I have a mission!!" Mukahi shouted, slamming his hands down on the table.

"Gakuto, that's a thousand dollar table you're smashing at," Atobe warned.

"Whatever, you've never complained about me smashing up your tables before," Mukahi said, waving a hand. "Anyways, this mission is SUPER important and if we fail it, I think someone's going to die."

"…Okay, so, what's the mission?" Shishido asked.

"We're going to give Jirou such a big sugar high he's actually going to stay awake during tennis practice for once."

"I would say it's a stupid idea, but it _just_ might work," Shishido admitted. "Even though I don't get the 'someone dying' part, but whatever."

"…So, we're not arguing?"

"…I don't believe we are."

"Somehow it doesn't feel right when there's no arguing," Ootori said hesitantly. In his brain he was screaming 'NO, WHY, YOU LOVE THIS QUIET!! THEY SHOULDN'T BE ARGUING AT ALL!!' but he paid no heed to it.

"I'm not in the mood to argue today," Shishido answered him. "No matter how stupid the topic is."

"YOU JUST SAID IT JUST MIGHT WORK!" Mukahi shot back.

"I didn't say it was stupid. Yet."

Just then Jirou popped into Atobe's living room happily bouncing around. Before he could get to the couch Mukahi ran over to him and stuck a can of Ponta right in front of his face. "I think you should drink this," he stated.

Jirou, not knowing what the motive was, happily opened the can of free soda and started drinking it.

"Wait, now I'm getting confused. Are we expected to just make him drink sodas continuously throughout the whole practice and make him get cramps?" Shishido asked, finally thinking through things.

"Well, I haven't exactly thought about that yet. Maybe when he starts getting drowsy we stick a soda into his face?" Mukahi suggested.

"Um…okay?"

"I'm tired," Jirou announced as he finished his soda. "I think I'm going to lie down for a nap."

"Wait!" Mukahi cried out, handing him a bottle of CC Lemon this time. "Drink this!"

Jirou shrugged, and opened the bottle, drinking the CC Lemon.

"It's not even tennis practice yet. How many bottles of soda are you going to feed him?" Shishido asked.

"Apparently a lot," Mukahi answered. "But it's all Atobe's anyway, so I guess that's okay."

"True."

Jirou at that time had finished drinking the CC Lemon, and thankfully this time it took him about twenty minutes before he announced he was once again tired.

"Here!" Mukahi threw him a coke next. "Drink this!"

_Thirty minutes later_

"I'm really tired and I don't wanna drink anymore soda!!" Jirou complained. "Can't I just go sleep?!"

Mukahi gave him another can of Ponta. "Just drink it, damn you."

"You know, I think you're going to make his stomach explode. I suggest you stop," Shishido commented. "If he starts throwing up on Atobe's couch, I'm not held responsible."

Atobe just glared at him. "Gakuto, Ore-sama commands you to stop."

"THIS ISN'T WORKING!" Mukahi shouted.

"…Did you just notice?" Shishido asked him.

"…"

"My stomach hurts," Jirou said, pouting. "I think I drank too much soda."

"…And that's another idea gone terribly wrong."

So, Jirou ended up with a severe stomach cramp and had to go to the bathroom more than once, and Mukahi was cursing at another failed brilliant idea of his.

* * *

So random. XD


	61. Chapter 61

**I'm super late in updating. Angela told me off and said I abused FF too much and shouldn't be updating so much. And then I got into a billion dramas.**

**This was a request made by speedybuddy562.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixty-One**

_**I will not play 'Who's Line is it Anyway' games ever again.**_

* * *

The Hyoutei regulars were gathered around a small table in Atobe's house, idly sitting there doing absolutely nothing and just wasting their time. If their coach was there at the moment, he would've lectured them for two hours, wasting more time, on how they should be practicing their tennis skills.

Truth be told, they were just plain _bored_.

"Who wants to play around on Atobe's laptop again?" Mukahi mumbled, currently sitting cross-legged with his head on the table.

"No," Shishido answered him, who was on the couch. "I hate electronics."

"That's only because your laptop died last week," Mukahi retorted. "Besides, haven't you just been itching to get online?"

"That laptop died and almost blew up in my face, so _no_."

"Should we play a game, then?" Ootori suggested.

Mukahi made a face. "What game? It's not like there's anything good in Atobe's house."

"Ah? Ore-sama has no time for such games," was the reply.

"Atobe, you're not doing anything either," Oshitari pointed out, looking up from…whatever he was doing. Probably nothing.

"Ore-sama is having an off day."

"Gekokujou."

"Yeah, yeah, let Atobe have his off day so he can put on his stupid avocado facial cream and no, you can't take advantage of Atobe today, Hiyoshi," Mukahi put in. "It's an off day, anyway. What's Jirou doing?"

Shishido rolled his eyes. "What do you _think_ he's doing?"

"Right…I think the soda kinda…made him more tired than he is usually. So um…what now?"

"We stare off into space and let the day end?"

"That's just _stupid_ though."

"Then what do you suggest us to do?" Shishido asked.

"Let's do like, skits or roleplaying stuff," Mukahi announced. "Like, those types of things they do on Whose Line is it Anyway."

"…You watched that?"

"Yeah, well I was in America at the time and I just got really bored."

"Wait, you _understood_ what they were saying?!"

"Yeah…"

Shishido gave him an incredulous look. "You completely fail at English, though."

"Well at least I could understand 'you're supposed to act like a monkey who just got pregnant'."

"…What did you just say?" Oshitari asked.

"I dunno, something like that."

"…"

Mukahi clapped his hands. "So um, who's going to start?"

"Atobe should act like his wallet was just stolen from him," Shishido said.

Atobe waved a hand in the air. "Ore-sama doesn't have anything valuable in that wallet."

"Uh, Atobe, most normal people would be freaking out by now about their wallet being stolen."

"Ore-sama's wallet is not that important."

"You're just saying that, Atobe. In fact, I bet you have like, pictures of yourself from when you were five and wearing a ballerina costume," Mukahi said, snickering. "Okay, whoever next can act like a old lady who just got high off of sugar."

"SUGAR!!" Jirou cried out, jumping off the couch. He winced. "Ow, my back hurts!"

"For some reason, I don't think that was intentional," Shishido commented as the regulars watched Jirou limping back to his place on the sofa. "I think you just jinxed him."

"The next person should rant about their obsession for Japanese idols."

"…What?!"

"Japanese idols," Mukahi repeated impatiently. "I can prove that I don't jinx people with just that. No one in our team listens to like, KAT-TUN or anything."

"Don't bad mouth KAT-TUN," Hiyoshi called out.

"…"

"Okay, so they took a really long time to debut and whatnot, but don't bad mouth them. And yeah, okay, sometimes they get into fights, or whatever, but seriously, you shouldn't bad mouth them."

"…I think that's the most I've heard him talk…in forever…" Mukahi said.

"So this means…you jinx people?" Shishido asked.

"…"

* * *

So weird. I know. XD My crack is fading. T.T


	62. Chapter 62

**M****y wanting to update every day isn't really working out very well, but I do try. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixty-Two**

_**I will not complain about Mukahi's choice of clothing colors.**_

* * *

Mukahi Gakuto was one who was _very_…passionate about his choice of clothing…especially the colors. His closet was full of clothes, even though he could only wear them about once a week.

So when a certain person named Shishido Ryo decided to comment about his choice of clothing, he wasn't very pleased.

"Uh, Gakuto, what the _hell_ do you think you're wearing?" Shishido asked him. It had been a bright and sunny Sunday (no pun intended), and both of them were in a bookstore. Yes, a bookstore of all places.

"I'm wearing a T-shirt…and pants. What about them?" Mukahi shot back.

"Um, yeah, but your T-shirt is _pink_."

"What's wrong with pink?"

"…What kind of guy wears _pink_ of all colors?"

"Is there something wrong with pink?"

Shishido decided to drop the topic…for now. He wasn't really looking forward to argue with Mukahi right in the middle of a bookstore.

"What's up with your clothes?" Mukahi asked him. "I mean, what the heck is up with your shirt?"

Shishido gave him an incredulous look. "What's wrong with _my_ clothes?!"

"Your shirt's black."

"What's wrong with black? I just felt like wearing black today, okay?"

"It makes you look like you want to beat someone up or something," Mukahi commented. "And…your pants don't match with them. Why shorts?"

Shishido stared at him as if he were insane. "Why shorts?" he repeated. "Because it's summer, that's why. Who the _hell_ wears jeans in the middle of summer?"

"I do."

"That's why I was asking," Shishido explained. "It's like, burning outside and you're wearing _jeans_."

"Yeah, outside," Mukahi said. "We're inside in a bookstore, remember?"

"But we're going to be walking soon, you're going to die in this heat."

"No I won't," Mukahi retorted. "I've walked around in jeans during the summer plenty of times."

"I still…don't get why you're wearing a pink T-shirt."

"What's wrong with pink?!" Mukahi demanded, his voice rising. "It's just pink, okay?!"

"Pink's not a very manly color, you know. And it's kind of weird…it doesn't go well with your hair."

"So what do you want me to do, dye my hair black?!"

Shishido looked at him as if he were insane. "You know, you _could_ just get rid of the blasted thing."

"What, the shirt?!"

"Yes, the shirt!" Shishido said impatiently. "It's pink!"

"So what if pink isn't a manly color?! It's not like I have to wear manly colors all the time. There was this one time I saw this weird male idol who was wearing pink, and I didn't see his friends complaining! Well, actually, they questioned it, but they didn't go on and on about it."

"It just looks weird on you, ok?" Shishido could feel a headache starting to come on…

"Well, it's my favorite shirt, so you can just stuff it!" Mukahi shouted.

"…You do realize you just shouted inside a _bookstore_, right?"

"…"

So because of Shishido's questioning on Mukahi's choice of clothing, both of them were kicked out of the bookstore, and a complaint filed at Hyoutei.

And this is the reason why you don't ever question Mukahi's choice of clothing, whether the color is weird or not.

* * *

XDDDDDDD


	63. Chapter 63

**I ****have nothing more to say…I never had anything to say…XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixty-Three**

_**I will not claim that Atobe needs a servant to buy his own clothes.**_

* * *

"Uh, where are we going, exactly?" Shishido asked, unfortunately stuck sitting in Atobe's limo on his day off.

"To the mall, duhh," Mukahi said impatiently, rolling Atobe's windows down, then back up again. "Atobe needs to buy clothes, or something."

"But…uh, why is a servant here?"

"To help him buy clothes, duhh."

"Ore-sama doesn't need a servant to buy clothes," Atobe snapped at them. "I can go buy them perfectly well without any help."

"Uh huh," Shishido answered, not entirely convinced.

"It's not bad if you don't know how to buy your own clothes; you've lived a different lifestyle, I guess…so…" Ootori tried to say, but Atobe cut him off.

"Ore-sama knows how to buy clothes," Atobe repeated impatiently. "The commoner is only here to keep track of what I buy."

"…Wait, why do you need someone to keep track of what you buy?" Shishido asked. "That's kinda…weird."

"Your life is so unorganized," Mukahi exclaimed. "Even I keep track of what I buy."

"What's the point though?" Shishido demanded. "I mean, you just buy stuff."

"I dunno, it just seems more organized that way." Mukahi changed the topic. "So the servant's here to help Atobe buy clothes, right?"

"…Were you even listening?!"

"…Yeah, the servant is here to help Atobe buy clothes."

"Ore-sama does not need anyone to help me buy clothes," Atobe repeated again. "I can buy clothes perfectly well on my own."

"You already said that," Shishido pointed out.

"Well obviously someone wasn't listening."

So, after a few more minutes of arguing, they arrived at the mall.

"So uh, servant person, you're here to help Atobe buy clothes, right?" Mukahi asked the servant.

"Is she even a servant?" Shishido asked.

The woman-servant person visibly twitched. "I'm here to help Atobe-sama keep track of what he buys."

"Exactly, so you're helping him buy clothes," Mukahi said.

"Uh, helping him buy clothes and keeping track of what he buys are two totally different subjects," Shishido commented.

"What, like…math?"

"…"

Atobe, seemingly impatient with the two constantly bickering about whether or not he needed someone to help him buy clothes, marched up to the first store he saw and picked out something. He paid the cashier, and marched right back out. "There, Ore-sama has bought something," Atobe said triumphantly, holding out the object for them to see.

Shishido stared at him. "Uh, Atobe…why did you buy that?"

Atobe seemed oblivious to his stare. "Ah?"

"Atobe…you bought a _purse_."

"Yes, for Ore-sama's mother," Atobe said. "Here is the proof that Ore-sama can buy something. Without any help."

The servant took a look at the purse, and then the price tag. She whipped up a notebook from seemingly nowhere and scrawled a bunch of numbers and descriptions in it, then put it back from…wherever it came from.

"See, she's helping him," Mukahi said, pointing at the servant rudely.

"It's not nice to point," Shishido reprimanded him. "And she's not helping him buy stuff, she's just writing down random stuff…that no one cares about.

The servant glared at him.

"Okay, it's important for future reference in case the purse blows up in Atobe's face."

The woman, seemingly satisfied, stopped glaring.

"This purse is not going to blow up in Ore-sama's face," Atobe said confidently.

"You never know."

"Wait, we said buy clothes, but…he just bought a purse," Mukahi pointed out. "A purse isn't clothing, is it?"

Atobe rolled his eyes, and went to another store, bought something, and came back. "There."

Shishido took one look inside the bag and coughed. "ATOBE, WHY THE HELL DID YOU BUY A SWIMSUIT?!"

"For Ore-sama's mother."

"…"

* * *

Uh…XD


	64. Chapter 64

**T****his idea was given to me by Easily Forgotten, SO THANK HER, YOU PEOPLES. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixty-Four**

_**I will not try to do a back flip off the roof.**_

* * *

It was a normal day in Hyoutei, one of which Hyoutei rarely had.

Really, we're not joking.

It was another tennis practice, like always, but Shishido could sense something was wrong. Terribly wrong. The tennis practice had gone smoothly, without any roadblocks along the way, which was a first, since Hyoutei had insane people running around all over the place. So today's quietness and peacefulness were abnormal, and probably even caused some unwanted tension.

"Your swings are off," Atobe snapped, tapping his foot.

_Very_ bad tension on Atobe's part.

It was then that Shishido noticed the absence of a player in their team. "Where the hell did Gakuto go?" Shishido asked.

"…" No answer.

"You guys all forgot about him, right?" Shishido asked, sighing.

"…" Still no answer.

"Great…" Shishido rolled his eyes. "And I was thinking we might have a normal practice for once. He's probably off in one of the chemistry rooms trying to recreate Inui Juices or something."

"I saw him in the laundry room earlier today," Oshitari provided.

"What?! The _laundry _room?! Wait, we have a laundry room?!"

"…Yes."

"WHY?!"

Oshitari just shrugged.

"I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!" a voice shouted from…somewhere.

The regulars whipped their heads back and forth, trying to locate the voice. Then Hiyoshi gave out an 'Ah' sound and pointed up at the school's…roof.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!" Shishido shouted, dropping his tennis racket and pointing up at Mukahi. "WHY ARE YOU ON THE ROOF?!"

"I'M GOING TO DO A BACKFLIP OFF IT!! IT'S BEEN ONE OF MY GOALS EVER SINCE I WAS A TEENAGER!!"

"YOU'RE STILL A TEENAGER, YOU IDIOT, AND FOR THE LOVE OF ANYTHING HOLY, GET OFF FROM THAT ROOF RIGHT NOW. AND NO, I DO NOT MEAN JUMPING OFF IT!!"

"I'M NOT GOING TO JUMP!" Mukahi answered back. "I'M GOING TO BACKFLIP OFF IT!!"

Oshitari sighed and rubbed his temples. "Gakuto, get off of that roof right now. And _safely_," he called out.

"THIS IS SAFE!!"

"HOW THE HECK IS BACKFLIPPING OFF A FIVE STORY BUILDING SAFE?!" Shishido practically screamed out.

"MY ACROBATICS WILL SAVE ME!!"

"IDIOT, EVEN ACROBATICS WON'T SAVE YOU NOW!!"

"Uh, Mukahi-san, please get off the roof!" Ootori tried feebly.

"I WANT TO BE LIKE KAT-TUN!!" Mukahi shouted out. "THEY DO BACKFLIPS ALL THE TIME!!"

"YEAH, BUT NOT OFF A FIVE STORY BUILDING!! NO ONE'S CRAZY ENOUGH TO TRY THAT!!"

"I'M GOING TO BREAK A WORLD RECORD!!" Mukahi answered. "I'LL BE BREAKING TWO GOALS WITH ONE ACTION. THAT'S LIKE, KILLING TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE, RIGHT?!"

"IDIOT, YOU'RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF-oh, why am I even bothering?!" Shishido grumbled. "BY THE WAY, WHY WERE YOU IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM?!"

"WE HAVE A LAUNDRY ROOM IN THIS SCHOOL?!"

"…" Shishido wordlessly turned to Oshitari.

The boy shrugged. "Gakuto probably thought it was the office or something."

"Oh, you meant that room with the weird machines!" Mukahi shouted out. "I was getting the detergent!!"

"Why were you getting detergent?!" Shishido shouted back. "Are you trying to kill yourself?!"

"I got the detergent because…I dunno. Oh, right, it was to bleach my hair."

"You don't use detergent to bleach your hair, idiot!"

"WELL, REGULAR BLEACH WOULDN'T WORK, SO THERE."

"YOU USED LAUNDRY BLEACH ON YOUR HAIR?!" Shishido screamed out.

"YEAH!!"

"STUPID, YOU USE HAIR BLEACH TO BLEACH YOUR HAIR!!"

"Oh…"

So in the end, Mukahi really never did get to back flip off the building…

* * *

Lots of screaming and caps in this chapter, many apologies. XD


	65. Chapter 65

**Another idea given to me by Easily Forgotten, since…I dunno, she has lots of ideas. XD And they're hilarious.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixty-Five**

_**I will not glomp Sakaki.**_

* * *

"Today's practice is so boring!" Mukahi complained. "There's nothing to do."

"It's practice," Shishido clarified. "It's not supposed to be interesting." This comment earned him a glare from Atobe.

"It's still boring!"

"Stop complaining! Do you want to try back flipping off the roof again?!"

"YES!!"

"DON'T YOU EVEN _DARE_ TRY!!"

Just then Sakaki-sensei just _had_ to come from freaking nowhere. "Back to practice, you two," he ordered. "I will not have any fooling around."

"SAKAKI-SENSEI!!" Jirou shouted, glomping him. "HOW ARE YOU?! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGES!!"

"…He talks to him like he's some old friend," Shishido managed to say, twitching.

Mukahi was equally shocked. "What. The. Hell."

Sakaki eyed him distastefully. "Mukahi Gakuto, such obscene language is not allowed at school."

"What the heck does obscene mean?!"

"…And if you would kindly remove your arms from around me," Sakaki went on, addressing Jirou. "and go back to practice, that would be very helpful."

Jirou gave a pout. "But I haven't seen you in ages!!"

Shishido raised his hand. "Um, I might want to point out that you just saw him yesterday."

"Well a life doesn't have that many days!!" Jirou protested. "If I live to be 90 years old, I'll only have 32850 days to live!!"

"You serious?"

"Yes!"

"Akutagawa Jirou, please remove your arms," Sakaki tried again. "I will not have you fooling around during tennis practice, do you understand?"

"You lecture him as if he's your kid or something," Mukahi commented. "Or worse, _grandpa_."

"Don't parents lecture more than grandparents?" Shishido asked. "I mean, they're _old_."

"I dunno, my grandpa bothers me all the time, saying something about completely failing math last year." Mukahi shrugged. "Not that math is important, anyway, but then he said something about businesses and calculations and something about finance and I really didn't get all of it so I just ignored him. We don't need math in our lives anyway, do we?"

"You do if you're going into a business profession," Shishido clarified for him.

"I think I'll stick to working in a takoyaki stand."

"You serious?"

"Yeah."

Meanwhile Sakaki was trying in vain to pry Jirou's arms off of him. "Akutagawa Jirou, if you don't remove your hands this instant I will give you detention for the rest of the week!"

"You're so mean!!" Jirou cried out, slumping to the floor. "ALL I WAS DOING WAS SHOWING MY RESPECT FOR YOU AND ALL YOU DO IS TRY TO BRUSH ME OFF. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE A COACH LIKE YOU?!"

Fifty heads turned to Jirou and Sakaki's direction, surprised by the loud outburst from the usually sleeping teenager.

"Uh, what happened?" Shishido asked, for a moment forgetting his argument with Mukahi about takoyaki stands and professions and math. "Why is he…on the ground like that?"

"I think…he went insane," Mukahi answered him. "Actually, that's a bit mean, I think he just got into a depressed state of mind."

"Uh, okay."

Jirou was still wailing when Shishido finished his sentence.

Atobe rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, and Kabaji proceeded to hand the wailing teen a lollipop. Jirou's eyes brightened and he accepted it gratefully, and forgot all about his troubles. Fifty heads turned back to what they were originally doing, the odd scene seemingly over.

"That was…weird."

"Yeah."

* * *

Yeah…XD


	66. Chapter 66

**I ****for some reason like writing at one in the morning. XD **

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixty-Six**

**_I will not punch a broom closet's door._**

* * *

"There's something wrong, isn't there?" Shishido asked. He sighed, and slumped on his desk as the class's students one by one exited the classroom.

"Um, yes," Ootori said a little hesitantly. "Uh, I don't know why, but Mukahi-san…"

Shishido raised his head. "What did he do this time?"

"Um, well, the thing is…I think he got really angry today," Ootori answered. "He's been, um…"

"What has he done?" Shishido prodded him.

"He's punching the broom closet door," Ootori said finally.

"Oh," Shishido said, nodding off. "WAIT, DID YOU JUST SAY HE'S PUNCHING THE BROOM CLOSET'S DOOR?!"

Ootori nodded.

"WHY?! Oh, wait, don't tell me why, he's probably pissed off again because Atobe gave him laps again or something. Which makes him a total kid who has a _really_ bad temper tantrum."

"He's not doing any damage to the door, though," Ootori put in hurriedly. "I mean, not that his punches aren't strong, it's just that…they don't seem to have any effect on the door."

Shishido rolled his eyes for the hundredth time that day. "I always knew that door was cursed or something. Not that Gakuto's strong, but seriously, he's _mad_; the thing should've caved in a long time ago. Uh, where is he now?"

Ootori stared at him for a moment. "In front of the broom closet, punching the door."

"Oh, right." So the two hurried their way over there, trying to save the cursed broom closet's door.

"MUKAHI GAKUTO, GET YOUR HANDS OFF THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW BEFORE I SHOVE MY FIST IN YOUR FACE, DO YOU HEAR ME?!" Shishido shouted, spotting Mukahi surrounded by Atobe and Oshitari, who were making no move to stop him from punching the door endlessly. "WHY AREN'T YOU GUYS STOPPING HIM?!"

"He's mad," Oshitari answered. "Let him release his anger."

"On a cursed broom closet door?!" Shishido almost screamed out. "It's a freaking door! If he's so freaking angry why doesn't he go do boxing?!"

"Ore-sama will not have Gakuto do boxing," Atobe said. "He needs to concentrate on tennis."

"BUGGER!" Mukahi cried out, giving the door a kick.

Shishido turned to Ootori. "You said he was just punching."

Ootori hesitated, but for only a moment. "Well, he _was_, but I guess he's more angry now?" This last statement ended in a question.

"Oh, and Shishido, you _rarely_, if ever, threaten Gakuto with your fists," Oshitari mentioned. "What happened this time?"

"The freaking teacher blamed _me_ for something Gakuto did."

"And that is…?"

"Well, actually, all he did was put weird chemicals in a test tube and shoved it into someone's desk. The whole thing exploded in this one kid's face." Shishido shrugged.

"And you were blamed…how?"

"Uh, the teacher caught me last week punching him in the face," Shishido explained. "I mean, he was being mean to this one girl so…" He didn't finish his sentence.

"I HATE YOU, YOU STUPID THING!!" Mukahi cried out.

"Wait, is he mad at the door, or is he just angry?"

"I think he's just angry," Oshitari clarified for him.

"If Gakuto doesn't stop this at once Ore-sama will order him more laps."

"DON'T MAKE HIM EVEN MORE MAD!!" Shishido almost shouted in Atobe's face, causing the latter to flinch in disapproval. "WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY HE'S PUNCHING THAT THING IN THE FIRST PLACE!!"

"It's a door," Oshitari pointed out.

"That Gakuto's freaking punching. Which reminds me, haven't you guys asked him why he's so pissed?"

"Oh, right…Mukahi-san, why are you so angry today?" Ootori asked.

"Just now…you decided to ask." Shishido sighed.

"NOTHING!!" Mukahi said, giving the door another spiteful punch.

"If it was nothing, you wouldn't be punching at a cursed broom closet door!" Shishido said exasperatedly.

Mukahi stopped for a moment. "This thing's cursed?"

"Weren't you even paying attention to what I said like, a minute ago?!"

"I was too busy being angry at Jirou," Mukahi muttered.

"…Gakuto, of all the people in this world, Jirou is the _last_ one to be angry at," Oshitari said. "What could he have possibly done?"

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE DID, HE FREAKING FILLED MY LOCKER WITH GLITTER AND STICKERS AND ALL THIS RANDOM GIRLY JUNK AND NOW I CAN'T GET RID OF IT. SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME!" Mukahi shouted, kicking the door. "WHY, I DON'T KNOW, HE JUST _DID_. HE'S EVIL, I TELL YOU."

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Right, a guy who sleeps the day away is evil. Nice."

"He stole my takoyaki the other day!" Mukahi went on.

"Uh huh."

"And he made me _cosplay_ of all things!"

"Doesn't seem to be that bad."

"HE TOLD MY MOTHER I WAS MAKING OUT WITH THE CHEMISTRY TEACHER. THE TEACHER THAT I HATE, MIND YOU!!"

"Right…WAIT, WHAT?!" Shishido stared at him. "Why would he do that?"

"HOW SHOULD I KNOW?!"

"STOP SHOUTING."

"I CAN'T, THE FREAKING BROOM CLOSET DOOR IS CURSED."

"You don't make any sense."

"That's it, I'm officially resigning from this school," Mukahi muttered, grabbing his bag. "Say good riddance to that stupid teacher for me, will you?"

Atobe, Oshitari, Ootori, and Shishido all eyed each other.

"He's not really resigning, is he?" Shishido asked.

Oshitari shrugged.

The next day, Mukahi was not in class.

But not because he resigned. He was admitted to the hospital for foot injuries, because of the broom closet's cursed door.

So remember, don't hit anything that's cursed, because it will bite back at you viciously.

* * *

**Uh, just wondering, are you guys getting bored of this yet? XD**

**And this is the first time in a long while that a chapter's been one thousand words long. XD**


	67. Chapter 67

**Requested**** by Mizuki Kiyomi.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixty-Seven**

_**I will not play match maker with Shishido and Oshitari.**_

* * *

"Mukahi Gakuto, please, stop glaring at Jirou," Atobe said exasperatedly, rubbing his temples. This stress and pressure totally wasn't doing anything good for his precious skin. He could already _feel_ the wrinkles working their way up his skin. "And Jirou, I expect you to be more sensitive to your teammate's feelings, and next time, please don't spout up nonsense like you did before."

"Next time?!" Mukahi barked out, glaring at his captain.

"Ore-sama does not know what you did to make Jirou so mad, but you can't expect it to not happen again."

"Especially since Gakuto is pro at pissing people off," Shishido said. "He pissed off the janitor for breaking the door, he pissed off the doctor for breaking his leg, and he pissed off the nurse when he broke the table that was next to his hospital bed."

"A doctor shouldn't be pissed off just because someone breaks their leg," Mukahi said sullenly. "And I didn't actually _break_ that table…I kind of just made it fall over and scratch the floor…"

"You pissed off the doctor because your broke your leg kicking a cursed broom closet door," Shishido pointed out, his patience wearing thin. "And if you don't remember, that table's top fell off due to that fall."

"So, what's more important, my leg, or the table?"

"The table, obviously. And your leg has nothing to do with the table."

"I kicked it over because my leg was hurting. It was a reflex," Mukahi defended himself.

"Whatever, and now you've got Atobe pissed because you can't freaking join us in our tennis practices anymore. So, you've made four people pissed off just kicking a broom closet door," Shishido lectured further.

"This is so not fair," Mukahi complained. "Why do four people have to be angry just because I kicked a freaking door? I mean, for crying out loud, it's a _door_. It's a piece of wood. Are you guys saying a piece of wood is worth more than me?"

"…Kind of."

"That's so unfair! I mean, I obviously have more mass and more volume than that stupid door."

"Uh, I don't know about that; it was a pretty big door. And it was _thick_."

"Well it was cursed. And now I'm bored just from talking to you. You suck at cheering people up," Mukahi complained further.

"I wasn't trying to cheer you up," Shishido muttered. "I was lecturing you."

"I swear, that door is filled with lice," Mukahi muttered back. "Or leeches."

"…"

"Yuushi!" Mukahi called out. "I'm bored!"

Oshitari definitely had no inclination of keeping Mukahi company, but he came over anyway. "Gakuto, read a book."

Mukahi snorted. "Like one of your trashy romance novels? No way."

"…"

"I think I'm going to be a match-maker when I grow up."

Shishido snorted. "A match-maker? Give me a break, you're better off as a librarian than a match-maker."

"I can so too match-make!" Mukahi defended himself. "It's easy. Like, you would totally be with Yuushi."

"…What?"

"I'm saying that you would totally go well with Yuushi."

"We're both guys…"

"So?" Mukahi asked, clearly not seeing the point.

"I'm done talking to you. Actually, I'm done with going to this school. I swear, I'm going to like, transfer right now."

_--matching--_

"Shishido, you should _really_ talk to Yuushi, you know," Mukahi pressed on. "I mean, I guess you could be friends first or something…"

Shishido shut the door in his face.

_--matching--_

"Yuushi! Shishido's being mean!" Mukahi complained. "Can you talk to him for me?"

Oshitari hung up.

_--matching--_

"Yuushi!!"

SLAM!

_--matching--_

"IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW SHISHIDO RYO, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Mukahi shouted.

Silence…

* * *

XD. Yeah…heh.


	68. Chapter 68

**I ****have roughly 33 more chapters to go after this. Yay.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixty-Eight**

_**I will not steal Oshitari's tennis bag and hide it in the cursed broom closet.**_

* * *

"Gakuto, where is it?" Oshitari persisted. "Where's my tennis bag?"

"I told you, I didn't take it," Mukahi snapped back at him, throwing his tennis racket down on the bench and stamping his foot. "What the hell, why is all the blame placed on me when one of your things gets stolen?! Are you sure you didn't leave it in Chemistry?"

"I noticed it missing _during_ Chemistry," Oshitari clarified. "Who else could have taken it?"

"I WAS IN MY FREAKING SEAT THE WHOLE DAMN TIME WRITING DOWN STUPID NOTES, YOU IDIOT! I WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!" Mukahi shouted.

"Uh, you know, Gakuto has a point there, even though he's stupid most of the time," Shishido said, for once defending Mukahi.

He was defending Mukahi.

All eyes were on him after he uttered those words, but he glared back at them. "What? Are you saying he has the ability to be in two places at once?"

Eyes turned back to whatever they were doing.

"So who took it then?" Oshitari asked, sighing and rubbing his head. "It's missing."

"I bet Jirou took it," Mukahi declared. "I swear, he has like, a grudge against this team, no wait, this whole _school_."

"Jirou's the last person who would take my stuff," Oshitari declared.

"You never know. He surprised you last time, didn't he?"

"You made him angry," Oshitari reminded him.

"Yeah, but it was still totally unexpected."

Jirou as of now was humming a little tune and bouncing in his seat. "Life is good, isn't it?" he exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

"…"

Jirou ignored the stares that were being projected at him and proceeded to take out a box of Pocky from his pockets, and opening the package. "I think I just might plan global invasion if life's this good," he continued, humming and biting on a stick.

"Uh, you know how you said Jirou's totally innocent and the last person to take your stuff?" Mukahi asked, poking Oshitari on the arm. "Yeah, I don't think that's really what he is."

"What do you mean by 'global invasion'?" Shishido asked the happy, bouncing boy. "You aren't really planning to take over the world, are you?"

"Who knows? I just might," Jirou replied back, chewing. "It makes things all the more happier, doesn't it?"

"…It's world domination. You're going to have hell of a hard time with planning and stuff."

Jirou shook his head, disagreeing. "No, all I have to do is steal a bunch of peoples' stuff and then sell them, make lots of money, and then bribe companies. And then, POOF, the world's mine."

"I don't think it's that easy."

"But if everyone's happy, it's okay, right?" Jirou asked.

"Uh…you can't just own the world like that."

"I can try," Jirou persisted.

"Yeah, so um, care to answer another question? Were you the one who stole Oshitari's tennis bag?"

"Yep."

"Where is it right now, exactly?"

"The broom closet."

"YOU MEAN THE CURSED BROOM CLOSET THAT GAKUTO WAS KICKING JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO?!" Shishido shouted, causing fifty pairs of eyes to avert their attention to him. "Keep playing," Shishido demanded, and gradually the members' attention reverted back to tennis. Oshitari and Mukahi turned to leave, but Shishido stopped them. "No, not you," he said impatiently, causing Oshitari and Mukahi to stop in their tracks and turn back to him.

"So what should we do now?" Mukahi asked him.

"Get that damned tennis bag out of the broom closet."

"But how? I mean, it's _cursed_."

"We'll just go in and take it out. Look, it's not that hard, okay?"

"Uh, okay."

So, some time later, Oshitari, Mukahi and Shishido were standing face to face with the cursed broom closet's door.

Shishido, not wanting to waste anymore time, opened the door.

Bad mistake.

Brooms, pails, cleaners, and mops all flew out and hit Shishido, causing him to fall flat on his back, buried in piles of cleaning junk. "Where is it?" he groaned out, as a mop handle came crashing down on his head. "Ow."

Mukahi hesitantly rummaged through the piles of junk. "It's um…not here."

"So you're saying I got hit in the face with random cleaning junk for nothing?" Shishido clarified.

"Uh…yeah."

Meanwhile, back on the tennis courts, Jirou had a small smile on his face.

* * *

Evil!Jirou is going to plot world domination. Yay!


	69. Chapter 69

**I've submitted three things today. Two oneshots, and a chapter of 100 Things. It must've been because I got bored and pulled an all-nighter. Yeah, that's it. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Sixty-Nine**

_**I will not walk around school when it's dark.**_

* * *

So, Mukahi Gakuto had thought it would be a brilliant plan to stay after school one day and hide there until the next morning, since his parents were about to kill him for his grades and he didn't want to deal with the drama that was called school right now. And ironically, he was in his middle school seeking shelter from his parents' wrath.

He waited and waited and slowly the sun began sinking down into the ground until night fell upon Tokyo, Mukahi walking around and banging into walls more than once and tripping over tricky staircases that weren't so tricky when it was broad daylight. He was just a bit hungry, but he still didn't want to go home. The school gave him the creeps and he thought there might be ghosts out, but he _still_ didn't go home.

Meanwhile, Shishido remembered he had left his textbook in the Chemistry classroom and was grumbling at the prospect of having to enter school in the middle of the night just to retrieve it. He could've spent his nights more efficiently, such as watching his favorite dramas and stuff, but _no_, he was stuck climbing a damned fence just to go grab his stupid textbook so he could do his even more stupid homework.

Of course, Shishido Ryo had no idea Mukahi was at the school at the time. Hell, the boy should be home playing video games or whatever he did during those days. So when he opened the door to the Chemistry classroom, the last thing he expected was to trip over a pile of…whatever it was and fall flat on his face.

"Ow, what the heck," Shishido muttered, rubbing his sore arm which had connected badly with the fall. "What's this?" He poked at the pile of…stuff and realized with a horror that it was a person. "What the heck? Who are you?"

The figure looked up to glare at Shishido. "Watch where you're going next time, okay?"

Shishido gaped. "Gakuto?!"

"Shishido?!"

"What are you doing here?!" They both asked at the same time.

"I came to grab my textbook that I left here," Shishido answered. "But…what the heck, are you planning something stupid again?"

"No," Mukahi mumbled. "I'm just running away from home, that's it."

"…Okay, for one thing, that's stupid, running away from home. And besides, they'll check the school if they know you're gone. And two, most people would _avoid_ sitting next to doors, since it's not exactly the safest place to be. And three, why the _heck_ did you choose the Chemistry classroom? I thought you hated the teacher."

"Well, I was running out of options, and I couldn't just dump myself in a park or something. And I sat next to the doors because I didn't _know_ they were doors; this school's too dark when it's nighttime. Not that there were supposed to be people going through them anyway during this time of night. And just because I hate the Chemistry teacher doesn't mean I hate Chemistry itself; it's my favorite class, you know. The teacher just pisses me off," Mukahi finished.

"Yeah…have fun. I'll just grab my textbook and leave." Shishido made his way around the room, trying find it, and finally found it on one of the countertops. "See you," he said, exiting the room, leaving Mukahi in there.

He went through a series of hallways until he passed by the broom closet, and then…

_--sixty nine--_

"We have reports of a teenager being admitted into the hospital for slight injures. The only witness at the time, Mukahi Gakuto, said that the door to their school's broom closet collapsed on the boy who was trying to get home."

"I knew that door was cursed," Shishido muttered, rubbing his head.

* * *

Much about cursed broom closet doors, eh? XD


	70. Chapter 70

**I dunno, I'm lame. Someone kill me. It's a Monday. Kinda.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventy**

_**I will not debate with Atobe endlessly about how many towels one should use.**_

* * *

"I stick with only one," Shishido stated, flipping through his magazine as if nothing had gone wrong. "I mean, it's not like I'm going to _die_ if I only use one."

"Yeah, I only use one too," Mukahi put in, suddenly believing that hundred yen coins were very interesting. "There's just no point in using two, you know? Who even uses two, anyway?"

"Ore-sama uses two," Atobe said impatiently.

"More like, five," Shishido snickered, but stopped when Atobe gave him a good, long glare. "What, it's true. Your servants probably bring like, hundreds of towels to you like, everyday."

"Ore-sama uses two, and only two."

"Wait, why two though?" Mukahi asked him, clearly not getting why a person would need to use two towels. "I mean…it's…towels…"

"One for Ore-sama's hair, and one for everything else," Atobe explained.

"I use one for both of those tasks," Shishido put in.

"I don't see the point for having a separate towel for your hair. I mean, it's just hair, jeez, just wring it out and let it dry like that or something. I mean, blow-dryers are there for a reason too, you know," Mukahi said, giving his own opinion. "They _dry_ your hair, something which towels don't do efficiently. It's just wasting cotton."

"Please don't tell me you don't even use a blow-dryer," Shishido said. When Atobe said that yes, he used blow-dryers, he sighed in relief. "I was hoping you wouldn't say that a blow-dryer is a useless peasant's device. That's just kind of…stupid."

"Like, I said, wring your hair out and then just blow-dry it; I mean, you're not like, a girl or anything, so it's not going to be dripping all over the place," Mukahi said. "UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU ARE A GIRL."

"…That's the stupidest comment I've ever heard you say," Shishido said finally, after a few seconds of silence. "Of course Atobe isn't a girl, that's like saying…I dunno, that Sakaki-sensei's a fond fan of Power Rangers."

"Ore-sama's gender is male," Atobe said.

"Who uses two towels," Mukahi snickered.

"Two towels are necessary."

"Well, you don't see us writhing in pain, do you?" Shishido remarked.

"…"

The next day, Sakaki-sensei just so happened to be carrying around a picture of himself in a Power Ranger costume. And they all got mind-scarred.

* * *

Short one, sorries. XD


	71. Chapter 71

**My room's like, a bug magnet right now. It's crazy. Stupid room.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventy-One**

_**I will not steal Sakaki-sensei's computer.**_

* * *

Tennis practice was all the same. Lots of green balls bouncing around, their captain barking out orders and snapping his fingers as he went along, and people yelling at other random people just because of…well, nothing.

So, they didn't really pay attention when a certain red-head slipped out of the crowd to go to the teacher's lounge.

And he came back like, five minutes later.

"I GOT SAKAKI-SENSEI'S COMPUTER FROM THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE; NOW WE CAN ALL GO STALK HIM!!" he shouted out, producing and silver laptop from out of nowhere.

More than fifty heads turned to stare at their teammate, who had gone berserk with the fact that he had been able to steal their coach's computer. Thankfully, their coach wasn't at practice at the time, but even if he was, Mukahi probably wouldn't care and would continue screaming his head off.

"I wonder what we can find in here! Maybe secret passwords to the school's administration system!" he wondered aloud, grabbing a place on a bench and opening the computer, turning it on and waiting impatiently.

"You do realize sensei's probably got that computer locked with a password, right?" Shishido asked him, coming up. "And what's so great about finding a teacher's computer, anyway? It's not like there's going to be anything special."

Sakaki-sensei's computer really was locked with a password.

But apparently that didn't stop Mukahi.

The red-head began typing a series of random letters and numbers, Shishido watching him and shaking his head. "You can't find his password randomly," Shishido said.

Mukahi pressed the enter button.

And got in.

HE GOT IN SAKAKI-SENSEI'S COMPUTER WITH A RANDOM PASSWORD.

"…Holy crap," Shishido exclaimed. "What did you type in?!"

"Uh…powerangersrule4321…" Mukahi answered, eyeing the computer in disbelief. "Uh, that's just creepy." Nevertheless, Mukahi started searching through Sakaki-sensei's documents.

Shishido still wasn't interested, so he didn't really pay much attention. He was more interested in a tennis game between two freshmen who totally didn't look like they were even able to play tennis and was just about to shout at them when Mukahi's voice drowned over his.

"WHY DOES SAKAKI-SENESI HAVE CARDCAPTOR SAKURA ICONS?!" Mukahi shouted out, causing people to stare at him.

Shishido leaned over. And his vision was blurred by lots of pinks, and gold. "Uh…how'd you know that's…whatever you just said?"

Mukahi pointed at the folder name.

"Oh."

Mukahi began skimming through a bunch of other random folders. "Huh, that's weird. There's a folder in English."

"If it's porn or something, I'm going to shoot you for stealing Sakaki-sensei's laptop in the first place," Shishido stated.

Mukahi clicked on the folder, and was met by a series of video game pictures, mainly from Mario. "He likes to play this kind of stuff?" he asked, twitching. "And uh…why does he have a picture of Kirby?"

"…"

"HE HAS RANDOM GIRL PICTURES!" Mukahi shouted out loudly, causing people to stare at him.

"You mean he's like, dating someone?" Shishido asked.

"No, they're from like, some anime thing."

Shishido whacked his head. "Why are you looking at all of those, anyway?"

"THE ONLY FILES IN HIS COMPUTER ARE RANDOM ANIME PICTURES. AND RANDOM VIDEO GAME PICTURES. THAT'S IT, I'M NEVER EVER LOOKING UP TO HIM EVER AGAIN!" Mukahi slammed the laptop on the bench. "Stupid cursed thing," he muttered.

"…"

Sakaki never knew why his laptop ended up on the tennis courts that day. And why his students were giving him odd looks.

* * *

XD


	72. Chapter 72

**I just watched this uber depressing movie called 'Budou no Ki'. It's one of the three dramas/movies that have made me cry. Okay, I'm not a very emotional person. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventy-Two**

_**I will not watch a depressing movie during tennis practice.**_

* * *

"Today's movie day," Shishido said lifelessly, pointing to Mukahi's tennis bag. "You don't need that."

Mukahi stared at him for a moment, not fully processing Shishido's words. "Movie…day?"

"Yeah, movie day."

"Since when did we have movie day?!" Mukahi asked, voice raising. "Isn't it _tennis_ practice?! Why is there a movie day when it's just tennis practice?"

Shishido shrugged. "Beats me. I think…Oshitari mentioned it or something and Atobe thought it was a _brilliant _idea."

"Great," Mukahi muttered. "We're either going to have to deal with evil videos of Atobe ranting about his prowess, or, we're going to have to watch trashy romance movies that's based off trashy romance novels. Stupid idea, I think."

"At least we don't have to think…"

"Do we ever think when we're playing tennis?"

Shishido looked at him incredulously. "You mean you don't think when you're playing tennis? What about strategies? What about paying attention to the scoring and freaking about it? Do you even use your brain?"

"Uh…I didn't know you could think up of strategies when you're playing tennis. But yeah, I pay attention to the scoring, but I don't freak out about it. And observing scores doesn't actually mean you're _thinking_, right?"

"…Just…get inside the clubroom," Shishido grumbled, clearly not wanting to deal with Mukahi's stupidity. Not like he ever wanted to deal with it.

Mukahi entered the clubroom as he was told to, and was met with darkness. "Uh…"

"They already started the film, now hurry up," Shishido said, pushing him inside. "You don't want to miss the really depressing movie, now do you?"

Mukahi stumbled his way until he found something warm.

"Ow…" Hiyoshi muttered, scooting towards his right and making more room for Mukahi to sit. "Watch where you're going."

"I would, if I wasn't _blinded_ by _darkness,_" Mukahi shot back. "Why did Atobe agree to this anyway?"

"Ore-sama did not agree to this," Atobe countered from somewhere far away.

"…But Shishido said _you_ were the one who agreed to this," Mukahi said, confused.

"Oshitari _threatened_ Ore-sama," Atobe corrected him.

"Oh…"

"That's strange…he told me that you agreed to it," Shishido muttered.

"The movie's starting, now _hush_," Oshitari said, hushing him.

They were immediately greeted by a man…who got shot two seconds later.

"WHAT THE HECK, WHY ARE YOU SHOWING US SOME GUY GETTING SHOT TWO SECONDS INTO THE FILM?!" Shishido shouted, earning him a whack on the head.

"It's a good movie, now be quiet," Oshitari said.

"Yuushi's rarely, if ever, violent," Mukahi commented, which earned him a whack in the head as well. "Then again, he's making us watch a violent movie."

"…"

They were greeted by more shots, and some car ramming into the building.

"…" By now most of the regulars were giving the screen 'WTF' looks. Ootori was hiding…somewhere, obviously not used to the violence being portrayed.

"I thought we were going to watch a sappy, trashy romance movie," Mukahi muttered. "This movie is something like…what a Yuushi clone would watch."

All of a sudden the scene shifted to a girl…with a kitty.

"…" More 'WTF' looks from the regulars.

"The scene changed so…fast…and violent," Shishido commented.

"Hush, the good part's about to start," Oshitari reprimanded him.

The kitty turned into a puppy, and when the girl picked it up delightedly, it became the man that was shot two seconds into the film.

"…"

_--movie--_

"That was the most depressing movie I've ever seen," Mukahi declared, once the lights were turned on. "It was weird though. I mean, what the heck, the man ended up being…the girl's cousin who freaking _dies_ because…some guy shot him."

"Hence the 'guy getting shot two seconds into the film'," Oshitari explained.

"…It was still weird though. I'm seriously going to skip practice the next time we have a movie day," Shishido said.

* * *

Uh, the movie is totally made up from my imagination. Like…yeah. **ABSOLUTELY NOTHING** to do with 'Budou no Ki', if you were wondering. It was just pure coincidence? XD


	73. Chapter 73

**Angela says I'm**_** completely**_** insane because I update everyday.**

**Well too bad. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventy-Three**

_**I will not steal Atobe's cellphone.**_

* * *

"Let me guess…you stole it," Shishido said, clearly not wanting to deal with this. Mukahi apparently had stolen _another_ item, much to Shishido's chagrin.

"Yeah…"

"Put it back, _now_, or I'm going to break into your house in the middle of the night and steal it from you and put it back," Shishido said, staring at the item in Mukahi's hands.

"It's just a watch," Mukahi said defensively. "And it's not like Atobe would've minded. I just wanted to see if it was some cool high tech thing that can read eight different times or something."

"Put that freaking watch back where you found it or else I'll _smack_ you."

"It's not as if you've never done it before," Mukahi shot back.

"What, stealing?"

"No, _smacking_," Mukahi said, rolling his eyes. "Two completely different verbs."

"Wow, I can't believe you know what a verb is."

"I'm not _that_ dumb."

Just then Oshitari came into the room, holding a silver device in his hands.

"Not you too," Shishido groaned.

"It was in my locker," Oshitari said, defending himself.

"You stole it, didn't you?"

"It was in my locker," Oshitari repeated.

"Put that freaking cellphone back where it belongs to or I'll _shoot_ you for crying out loud!" Shishido said exasperatedly. "I swear, I'm like, your guys' moms nor or something."

"It's Atobe's cellphone," Oshitari stated.

"Atobe accidentally put his cellphone in _your_ locker?!"

"Yes."

"You stole it, didn't you?"

"There is a possibility of that as well," Oshitari admitted.

"PUT THAT DAMN PHONE BACK IN ATOBE'S…PETHOUSE OR SOMETHING, I DUNNO. SOMEWHERE WHERE HE CAN FIND IT AND YOU WON'T BE FRAMED FOR STEALING."

"I want to see what's inside it."

"Don't you guys _ever_ learn? Remember what happened when Gakuto stole Sakaki-sensei's computer?"

Mukahi shuddered. "I _so_ do not want to think about that right now."

"See?!"

"Hey, I'm not the one who stole Atobe's cellphone, Yuushi was the one!"

"I was ordered to," Oshitari said emotionlessly.

"By Gakuto," Shishido said.

"No, by Jirou."

Shishido just gave him an incredulous look.

"It's unbelievable, I know."

"He has nothing to do with this."

"He has everything to do with this. He told Gakuto to steal Sakaki-san's computer, but Gakuto forgot who actually ordered him to and started fooling around with it."

"That guy really is trying to take over the world," Shishido muttered. "Wait, '-san'?"

"I don't feel like it's right to call him my teacher anymore," Oshitari said emotionlessly.

"You're freaky sometimes too, you know."

Mukahi grabbed Atobe's cellphone and began fooling around with it. "Hm. That's weird. WAIT, WHY DOES HE TEXT MESSAGE SAKAKI-SENSEI SO MUCH?!"

"It's probably just tennis stuff," Shishido said, waving it off.

"Yeah, and…" Mukahi began frowning. "Something about…parents."

"Again, responsibility stuff that I don't really care about."

"He swears a lot in French," Mukahi commented offhandedly.

"WHAT?!"

"You understand French, Gakuto?" Oshitari asked.

"Well, when it's really bad words, yeah. Like what Atobe has right now."

Atobe really didn't know where his phone went that day.

* * *

XD?


	74. Chapter 74

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventy-Four**

_**I will not go to a café just because someone told me to.**_

* * *

"Why are we here?" Shishido asked. "I don't want to wake up at seven in the morning to go to some stupid café. And no, I don't even care if it's some famous café that sells random expensive cakes that no one cares about."

The waitress who overheard him glared at their table.

"It's true," Shishido said defensively as the waitress turned around. "Why are we here?"

Mukahi shrugged. "Beats me."

"_You_ were the one who dragged me over here."

"Because _Jirou_ told me to," Mukahi corrected him, motioning over to the boy that was sleeping, head on the table.

"Why is he sleeping in a café? Why did he make us come over here if he's just going to sleep on some stupid glass table?"

"He's probably going to eat too."

"While he's _sleeping_?"

"No!" Mukahi exclaimed, then looked thoughtful. "Although…that's possible."

"I swear this kid's trying to take over the world," Shishido muttered, tapping his fingers on the table. "Why can't we just ditch now or something?"

Mukahi shook his head. "You can, probably, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"He said something about stealing something of mine and giving it to someone I hate," Mukahi said vaguely, frowning. "I dunno, he's just weird that way."

"Why haven't I transferred to Rokkaku or something yet?"

Mukahi shrugged again. "I dunno, why haven't you?"

"I probably should move out of the country sometime."

"Yeah."

"Maybe live by myself in like, Europe or something."

"Probably."

"Maybe Malaysia. Europe's too expensive."

"Hm. Maybe I should get married," Mukahi stated, totally not paying attention.

"Yeah." Shishido wasn't paying attention either. "Wait, did you just say you wanted to get married?"

"The world's crazy enough as it is."

"True. By the way, why am I agreeing with a stupid idiot such as yourself?"

"I dunno. Why are you agreeing me? You're supposed to say 'ARE YOU STUPID' or something, but you haven't yet."

"Why are we here?"

"Jirou told us to."

"Ah."

The person in question opened his eyes slowly and yawned. "I want some Pocky," he said. "I'll go to the convenience store and buy some, okay?" He jumped up from his seat and ran out of the café.

"He's not here anymore," Shishido pointed out. "Doesn't that mean we should leave too?"

Mukahi shook his head. "I dunno if he's going to be back yet or not."

"You know he really can't break into your house and steal something from you, right?"

Mukahi gave Shishido a strange look. "He already did."

"…"

_BOOM!_

_--café--_

"I have a feeling that kid isn't planning world domination anymore," Shishido muttered from his place on the hospital bed.

"Hm." Mukahi wasn't paying any attention. "You know, this is the second time my leg's broke. During the same year."

"Okay, seriously, I think that kid's just planning to kill us all or something."

"Hm."

* * *

Jirou's evil? XD


	75. Chapter 75

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventy-Five**

_**I will not try to join the gymnastics team for the Olympics.**_

* * *

Mukahi was doing back flips as usual.

Yeah, a Mukahi Gakuto doing back flips on a tennis court was something everyone was used to. They were very used to the fact that Mukahi was good at acrobatics. Yes, no doubt about it. After all his specialty _was_ acrobatics play.

That is, when _tennis_ was included.

"Uh, Atobe, why is Gakuto doing splits right in the middle of the freaking tennis courts…without his tennis racket?" Shishido asked, staring at the figure who was bounding up and down without another care in the world.

"Ore-sama believes Gakuto is trying to improve his acrobatic play," Atobe stated, not really paying attention, since he was more obsessed with his hair at the moment.

"But uh, isn't he supposed to be worrying more about his stamina and stuff right now, not his acrobatic play?" Shishido asked. "I mean, his acrobatics is already fine. Why does he need to improve them more?"

Atobe ignore him.

"Fine, I'll go ask him myself then," Shishido muttered, dropping his tennis racket on the bench and stomping towards the red-head, totally not liking having to move just because of Mukahi. The said boy didn't notice him, and was doing some sort of weird pose. "Uh, why are you doing random girly moves in the middle of the tennis courts?" he asked, stepping up.

"He wants to do gymnastics at the Olympics," Oshitari answered instead. "Apparently he wants to join Japan's gymnastics team."

"You're kidding…right?"

"No, I'm not."

"Why doesn't he freaking go for tennis instead of gymnastics? Why gymnastics?"

"He claims he would be more successfully in gymnastics," Oshitari answered.

"Why isn't he talking, anyway?"

"He's for once actually concentrating. I wouldn't bother him if I were you."

So Shishido decided to watch the red-head perform another back flip. "Isn't it kind of dangerous for him to be doing a bunch of handstands and stuff on a tennis court? I mean, it's…hard."

Oshitari paused for a moment. "Since when do you care about Gakuto's safety?"

"…Good point."

"So, Gakuto, what are you planning to do once you get into the Olympics?" Shishido asked.

Mukahi gave him an odd look. "Uh, compete?"

"You know, gymnastics is really…not your thing, no matter how good you are at acrobatics."

Mukahi winced. "I think…I just cracked something."

"What, a leg?"

"No, I think I broke my back."

"Uh, by the way," Shishido started. "Who gave you the idea of being an gymnastics person and going to the Olympics?"

"Jirou," Mukahi said, wincing in pain. "You've got to admit, it was a great idea at the time, but now my back's broken or something."

"…Go to the hospital."

"…"

So this is why we don't try to pursue dreams without proper training. And you really shouldn't listen to that crazy tennis teammate of yours.

* * *

I'm making Jirou evil for some reason. XD


	76. Chapter 76

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventy-Six**

_**I will not try to measure **__**body measurements with a ruler.**_

* * *

"If you get injured this time, Atobe might just kick you off the team," Shishido said, totally not getting why Mukahi had a ruler with him in the locker rooms. "Are you planning on like, I dunno, standing on that ruler or something?"

"No," Mukahi scoffed, eyeing him strangely. "Even I wouldn't go that far."

"Okay, so what exactly are you going to do with that ruler?"

Mukahi gave him an incredulous look. "I'm going to measure things, you idiot."

"Oh." Shishido hadn't expected _that_ normal of an answer to come from Mukahi's lips. "So, you're just going to measure things, right?"

"Right."

"You're not going to try to play tennis with that, are you?"

"No."

"And you're not going to try to stab someone to death with that ruler, are you?"

"Of course not."

"You're not going to like, sit on it or anything, are you?"

"What's with you?" Mukahi asked. "I'm just going to measure things, big deal. It's not like it's uncommon for a normal person to be using a ruler properly."

"You're far from normal," Shishido muttered, pulling his shirt over his head.

Suddenly he heard a loud crack.

Okay, so either Mukahi had really decided to sit on the ruler, or he was trying to measure the lockers or something. Shishido couldn't tell, since his shirt was currently stuck over his head. "What the hell did you do?"

"Uh, nothing," Mukahi said.

Shishido struggled with his shirt. "Stupid shirt. Okay, did you like, try to pry someone's locker open with that?"

"Uh, no. But that's actually a good idea. I'll try it next time…with a different ruler."

"You broke it, didn't you?"

"No."

"You're lying, right?"

"Okay, well…it's wood. And it kind of…cracked in half. Kind of."

"What the hell were you trying to do with it?!"

"It just broke, I was just trying to measure things!"

"Like, what, the locker?" Shishido asked.

"No."

"Then what?" Shishido inquired impatiently, finally getting his shirt on properly. "What the hell were you trying to measure?"

"…Body measurements."

Shishido stared.

And stared.

And kept on staring.

"You were trying to measure…like…your waist or something with that ruler." This was a statement, not a question, since Shishido knew Mukahi might've been stupid enough to do it.

"Yeah…" Mukahi answered. "Some English teacher told me I had to be careful of…anorexia or something. Like, she said I was too skinny."

"Okay, I'm going to ignore the fact that a teacher was staring at you and noticing random things. That's beside the point. More importantly, you don't measure body measurements with a _ruler_."

"Then what?"

"A measuring tape!" Shishido exclaimed. "Like, one of those things where it can actually go _around_ your body, not some piece of wood!"

"I thought…I just needed to measure the width or something."

"And broke the ruler in the process. No, you're supposed to measure _around_ your waist to find your measurements!"

"Oh…"

The next day, Mukahi came back with…regular tape. "So, this is the measuring tape, right? How do I use it, it's just regular tape…"

Shishido whacked him on the head.

* * *

XD. I was stupid enough to measure my waist with a ruler. I thought it was asking for like…the width, not like…all around. XD


	77. Chapter 77

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventy-Seven**

_**I will not skip tennis practice just to make origami balls.**_

* * *

So, yeah, tennis practice was going on as usual, blah blah blah. It was a day like any other day, and Shishido expected someone to come jumping at him and screaming 'BLOODY MURDER' or something of that sort.

That thought alone totally reminded him that the acrobatics player _wasn't_ there to cause chaos today.

"Hey, Atobe, where is…Gakuto, exactly?" Shishido asked, turning to their captain.

"Ore-sama does not wish to know where he is at the moment."

"Why?"

"Ore-sama just doesn't."

"…Hey, do you know where Gakuto is?" Shishido asked, turning to Oshitari.

Oshitari shook his head. "I haven't seen him since Chemistry. He probably went somewhere again. Maybe off to feed the rabbits."

"…Rabbits?"

"He asked the math teacher if he could keep them in her office or something, and she agreed. They're actually quite cute."

"I bet he's going to like, kill them within a week or two. I mean, the last time he got a turtle, it like, died within a week."

"Hm."

So Shishido went on a journey around Hyoutei to find Mukahi, only because he could and he had nothing better to do. It was either run laps, or find the acrobatics player, so obviously he chose to find the red-head.

On he went, walking around the school, looking through classrooms, under desks, between desks, over desks, around desks, inside drawers, inside closets, and so on. He even managed to find the rabbits that Oshitari were talking about, but Mukahi was nowhere near them.

He ventured into the music room next, and alas! He found Mukahi.

Except one thing was totally off.

Mukahi was sitting on the ground, a bunch of weird…things surrounding him that were apparently made out of paper. He had a stack of paper right next to him, and he seemed intent on making as many…cone shaped things as possible.

"What the heck are you doing?" Shishido asked, looking a the…mess before him."

Mukahi looked up. "Oh, hi. Did Atobe send you over and bring me back to like, tennis practice or something?"

"You're skipping tennis practice to do…this."

"Yeah."

"What…on earth are you doing, exactly?"

"I'm making origami balls."

"…What?"

"Origami balls," Mukahi repeated.

Shishido took another look at the cone shaped things. "Those look more like…cones to me."

"Oh, they're just pieces. I have to assemble them all together and then I'll make a ball-shaped origami paper decoration."

"What are you going to assemble them…with?"

"Uh, I'm going to sew them together."

"Just last week you were laughing at Choutarou for being a dork and taking up sewing," Shishido protested. "Now you're sewing…and making origami?!"

"Yeah, well, I can't make the freaking thing unless I sew them together. And it's not that bad, actually, maybe a little boring sometimes, but it's better than tennis practice."

"So you skipped tennis practice to make origami balls and I looked everywhere for you just to find you sitting on the ground making origami balls that have no virtual use whatsoever."

Mukahi thought for a moment. "Yeah."

"YOU ARE SO GOING TO DIE!!"

So Mukahi was chased around the school at the speed of light (well, not really) for making origami and skipping tennis practice.

* * *

Slacky's idea, totally. XDDDD


	78. Chapter 78

**M****eh. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventy-Eight**

_**I will not skip practice just to go play games.**_

* * *

"So uh, what are we going to do?" Shishido asked as the regulars were crowded around.

"Gakuto has been skipping too many practices," Oshitari said. "I wonder what he's been doing…"

"How can you even stand a doubles partner like him anyway? He slacks off and he's _annoying_."

"If he isn't back within thirty minutes Ore-sama will kick him off the team," Atobe announced.

"We have a time limit now?!" Shishido exclaimed. "Why do we need to find him anyway? He's probably off in some other random school yelling his head off about…whatever."

"He could be in the broom closet," Ootori pointed out.

"Or the Chemistry lab making something explosive," Hiyoshi put in.

"Usu."

"…I'm going to ignore that Kabaji just said something for the first time in like…years," Shishido said. "And why do we have a time limit?"

"Ore-sama has no patience or care of his whereabouts."

"SO WHY ARE WE FINDING HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"

"I'll go check the laundry room," Oshitari said, leaving and ignoring everyone.

"I'll go to check the broom closet then," Ootori said hesitantly, leaving the group as well.

"Gekokujou," Hiyoshi said, walking off.

Shishido stared after Hiyoshi's leaving figure. "Gekokujou isn't a location…"

"Usu."

"Your advice isn't helpful."

"Usu."

"…" And with that, Shishido left as well, walking around the school for the second time that week just to find Mukahi.

So there he went, checking inside cupboards and drawers, not actually trying to find him, but more like wasting his time since he really didn't care where the acrobatics player ended up. The kid could be in a hamster's cage for all he knew.

Not like he cared.

So he went around the school once, then twice, passed by some Atobe fangirls, then passed by some random teacher, and then passed by two girls who were fighting, and then passed Mukahi, and then he passed some other random teacher, and then Mukahi again, and then some random person, and Mukahi…

Shishido backtracked his steps until he found Mukahi again. "What the hell are you doing missing tennis practice? Is this about origami balls again?"

Mukahi shook his head. "Quiet, I'm running away."

"From home? Again?!"

"No," Mukahi said impatiently. "From the guy who's my opponent."

"…Opponent? Like, as in tennis opponent?"

Mukahi shook his head again. "No, from my game opponent."

"…GAME OPPONENT?!"

"Quiet, you're too loud," Mukahi hissed, concentration clearly etched on his face. "Jeez, you're even worse than my mom when it's laundry day."

"Do you know that Atobe like, sent the whole tennis team off to find you?!" Shishido asked.

Mukahi gave him a surprised look. "Oh, so you're part of the game too? I thought it was only Jirou that was trying to get me."

"…What game are you playing, anyway?"

"Hide and seek."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK IN A FREAKING SCHOOL?! AND WHAT THE HECK, WITH ONLY TWO PEOPLE?!"

"Oh, so you guys aren't in it?"

Shishido smacked him. "You know the whole tennis team's finding you because you're skipping tennis practice, not some stupid _game_."

Mukahi stared at him. "I'm not the only one skipping tennis practice, Jirou is too."

Shishido thought for a moment. "That's true, but I remember Atobe saying something about Jirou being sick or whatever."

Mukahi shrugged. "Okay, so he lied. Whatever, big deal, I don't really care, but if he finds me I'm _dead_."

"Why?"

"He's going to tie me up, kidnap me, and then hold me hostage," Mukahi said as if it was no big deal.

"HE'S GOING TO WHAT?!" Shishido shouted, appalled. "WHY ARE YOU EVEN AGREEING TO THIS? WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUN AWAY FROM SCHOOL?"

"He has a GPS on me."

"Oh." Shishido totally thought this was a reasonable excuse until he thought about it for a moment. "Wait, if he has a GPS on you, shouldn't you have been found a long time ago? I mean, he actually _knows_ where you are with that thing."

Mukahi looked at him, surprised. "You're right."

Shishido smacked him on the head again. "I can't believe you didn't notice. What's wrong with your logic, jeez."

"I have a stalker," Mukahi mumbled. "I hate that kid."

"You should uh, leave this school. Where is the GPS anyway?"

"In my pocket."

"…You could've just ditched it somewhere."

"…"

So in the end Mukahi ditched the GPS system. And Jirou didn't find him until two days later, huddled in the broom closet.

* * *

I've made a stalker!Jirou. XD


	79. Chapter 79

**So uh, yeah. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Seventy-Nine**

_**I will not tell ghost stories in the dark.**_

* * *

So, it was a dark, stormy…day, not night. No, tennis practices don't occur during night, unless their captain happened to go insane. Which wasn't very likely, but it could still happen.

Anyway, as mentioned before, it was a dark, stormy day and the tennis team had no way of playing tennis, since it _was_ storming. So they opted for hanging around in the clubroom, but the lights went out just as they entered the room.

Basically, the regulars were stuck in a clubroom that was dark because the lights were out and they had to wait for the rain to stop so they could practice again. Since, Atobe predicted that the storm would pass within twenty minutes, thirty minutes tops.

Not that his predictions were necessarily correct, but no one really argued with him.

"I think we should tell scary ghost stories," Mukahi announced, breaking the silence that had enveloped the team during the last ten minutes or so.

"…What are you, five?" Shishido asked, not sure if he was facing said person, since it _was_ dark.

"I'm not five, I just think we should so something besides sitting around waiting for the rain to stop," Mukahi retorted. "We're wasting time, you know."

"I'm wasting time just talking to you," Shishido muttered.

"So uh, who should start first?" Mukahi asked.

"I have one!" Jirou cried out excitedly, apparently not sleeping as he usually was. "It's about this girl with red hair!!"

"…" No one said anything.

"Okay, so basically, it's about this girl who has red hair," Jirou said.

Shishido snorted. "Well, obviously, or else why would you call it 'the story about this girl with red hair'?"

"Well, she had red hair, but then she died it blue and then she DIED."

"…Everything is so unorganized. What does her dying her hair blue have to do with dying?"

"Well, her friend thought she was trying to copy her blue hair, so she stabbed her to death."

"…WHY?!"

"Not so loud," Atobe complained. "Ore-sama's ears are not meant for such tedious exercises."

"I don't give a crap about your ears, and that's beside the point! Why would anyone kill someone just because they dyed their hair blue?" Shishido paused. "Wait, are you implying something?"

"What?" Jirou asked innocently. "I don't think I'm implying anything besides that fact that if Gak-kun dyes his hair blue, Tari-kun might kill him!"

"…I can't believe you can pull of a innocent look while talking about Oshitari and Gakuto killing each other."

"I can't believe you can see anything in this dark anyway," Mukahi muttered. "And what the heck, that's not a ghost story, that's just like…being stupid."

"He's like, three inches away from my face," Shishido replied.

"Am I really stupid?" Jirou asked dangerously.

"…No," Mukahi answered. "So uh, who's n ext?"

"I have another one!" Jirou exclaimed very, very loudly.

"If you're too loud, Atobe-san's ears might," Ootori started to say.

"No one cares about his ears!" Hiyoshi snapped.

Seven heads turned to the direction of Hiyoshi's voice. "Uh, wow, that's the first time I've ever seen him lose his cool," Mukahi said.

"Hiyoshi-kun doesn't like ghost stories, does he?" Jirou asked innocently. "He must hate the person who suggested it very, very much."

"Jirou, how many pills have you been eating lately?" Shishido asked.

"Oh, about, I'd say, twenty? Maybe twenty-one, I'm not sure," Jirou answered.

"…WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS TEAM?! YOU!!" Shishido cried, pointing at Mukahi, who yelped in surprise. "GO BACK TO HATING OUR CHEMISTRY TEACHER; YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING AT HER WITHOUT COMPLAINT FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS." He pointed at Jirou. "AND YOU, STOP TRYING TO DOMINATE OVER THE WORLD, THAT'S TOTALLY UNCHARACTERISTIC OF YOU." He pointed at Atobe next. "AND YOU, SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR EARS?!"

"Uh, Shishido? He's Atobe, his needs come first, in his mind," Oshitari answered.

"AND YOU, YOU'VE BEEN UNCHARACTERISTICALLY QUIET THE PAST FEW WEEKS!" Shishido shouted, pointing at Oshitari next. "AND YOU!" Shishido pointed at Kabaji. "YOU'VE BEEN UNCHARACTERISTICALLY LOUD!!"

"Usu."

"DON'T SAY 'USU' TO ME, SAY IT TO ATOBE!!"

"Usu."

"SOMEONE GO BACK TO NORMAL BEFORE I KICK SOMETHING!"

"Uh, Shishido-san? Kicking isn't…very nice," Ootori said worriedly.

"I hate my life," Hiyoshi muttered.

"YOU, DON'T THINK SUICIDAL THOUGHTS NOW, THAT'S UNCHARACTERISTIC OF YOU!"

"You're abusing the word 'uncharacteristic' the whole time," Mukahi muttered. "Think of something else, like, against your personality."

"SINCE WHEN WERE YOU EVER SMART BEFORE?!"

"STOP YELLING, I CAN HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY FROM HERE!" Mukahi shouted.

"YOU'RE LIKE, THREE FEET AWAY FROM ME!!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT, THERE WAS THIS BROWN HAIRED GUY WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT A RED HAIRED GUY AND HE DIED BECAUSE HE YELLED AT THE RED HAIRED GUY!!"

"…Really?" Shishido wondered aloud.

"REALLY."

"Wait, so does that mean I have to stop yelling at you because of something stupid like hair color?!"

Mukahi nodded.

"…"

So nothing productive really happened that day after all, even when they tried telling ghost stories. And it ended up Shishido going berserk.


	80. Chapter 80

**Y****es, number 80!! XD Only twenty more to go.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eighty**

_**I will not do homework during nighttime.**_

* * *

"So uh, can someone explain to me why Atobe is just sitting there on a bench, why Gakuto's been falling down every time he's jumping, why Oshitari's sleeping while reading a book, and WHY IS KABAJI JUST LYING THERE ON THE COURT?! IS HE DEAD?!" Shishido asked, observing the scene around him as fifty people on the courts sluggishly walked around, barely even playing tennis. "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!"

Someone behind him snored.

"STOP SNORING!" he snapped, turning around.

Snore. Snore. Snore.

"…" Shishido turned back around. "GAKUTO!"

Mukahi lifted up his head, rings under his eyes. "Huh?"

"WHY DO YOU KEEP FALLING DOWN?!"

"WHO ARE YOU, MY MOM!?" Mukahi snapped back.

"…How many hours of sleep did you get last night?"

"…Two, why?"

"YOU GOT ONLY TWO HOURS OF SLEEP!?" Shishido shouted. Most of the time, people's heads would be turning towards their direction, but today no one really cared. Maybe it was the lack of sleep.

"Yeah, why?"

"What were you doing last night, only getting two hours of sleep?"

"Doing homework."

"…Could you like, not procrastinate so much and do it during daylight?" Shishido asked.

Mukahi shook his head. "It seems that I work better when I'm doing homework at night. It's more quiet, you know?"

"…Then why is everyone doing it?"

Mukahi shrugged. "They…think it's more peaceful?"

Shishido slapped his forehead. "What is this, some trend that grandparents have forced upon us?"

"Well, my granddad _did_ mention something about-"

"Is your granddad even alive?!" Shishido snapped, glaring at him.

Mukahi paused for a moment. "Hm, good point, I don't think he is."

Shishido sighed at his teammates stupidity at forgetting such a important thing as that and rolled his eyes. "Don't say stuff when you don't even know the facts yourself. If your granddad's dead, he's dead, he can't say stuff like "oh, you should do your homework at night" or whatever. By the way, don't you think it's tiring only getting two hours of sleep?"

Mukahi shrugged. "No, not really, why? I mean idols do it all the time, don't they?"

"You're not an idol, nor will you ever be an idol."

"Oh, my dreams, my wishes, all shattered!" Mukahi cried out dramatically, turning around and walking around the courts, sniffling.

"…I think his brain's dead from lack of sleep."

"What's two plus two?" Atobe asked him.

"…Huh?" Shishido gave him an incredulous look.

"Quickly, Ore-sama can't think," Atobe snapped.

"YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIGURE THAT OUT WITHOUT THINKING!" Shishido shouted at him. "Augh, why is everyone so snappy today? YOU GUYS SHOULD SLEEP MORE!"

"SHUT UP!" Fifty members shouted back at him.

"…I think you guys really need some sleep."

So tennis practice ended up being very uneventful that day, due to lack of sleep.

So remember kids, don't do your homework at night, for whatever reason. You'll become very, very snappy.

* * *

XD Snappy. Snappy. Snapple? XD


	81. Chapter 81

**Meh.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eighty-One**

_**I will not skip tennis practice to go work at a coffee shop.**_

* * *

Tennis practice.

Tennis practice.

Tennis practice…

Tennis practice really wasn't the same without Hyoutei's captain, never mind he was usually bossy and egotistical and rarely had things done anyway. But a missing person such as Atobe was worrisome indeed.

Not that they minded, really.

Really.

"So, uh, where's Atobe?" Shishido asked.

Really.

"Hm," Mukahi answered.

"I asked where Atobe went."

Mukahi waved a hand in the air. "Something about some coffee shop or something. I dunno, I didn't really pay attention."

"He told you where he would be going and you didn't pay attention?"

"He's Atobe," Mukahi pointed out.

"True…but give us a warning next time, seriously," Shishido muttered. "So uh, where's your double's partner?"

"Coffee shop."

"WHY?! WHY ARE BOTH OF THEM AT A COFFEE SHOP?!"

"Relax, it's not like they're dating or anything," Mukahi said. "Atobe went to go get a cup of coffee, and Yuushi's going to a _different_ coffee shop."

"Why's Oshitari going to a coffee shop?"

"He's working," Mukahi replied.

"WHY IS HE WORKING?! WHY IS HE SKIPPING PRACTICE JUST GO WORK?!"

"He said he was bored with tennis practice and he was getting tired of people yelling and shouting and doing nothing productive, so he says he wants to try working or something since it's more productive that way and he won't get bored and he can read his novels in peace," Mukahi answered.

"So he's skipping practice because he's bored and he wants to read his novels in peace?"

Mukahi nodded. "Yeah, that's pretty much it."

"Why didn't he go up to like the roof to read? Why does he have to work just to read?"

"He said something about being productive, you see, and-"

Shishido silenced him. "Whatever, whatever, if I'm going to hear it from you I might as well go and ask him myself. You never say anything correctly and I'd just be wasting my time."

"I'm wasting my time just talking to you," Mukahi pointed out.

"True…wait, _I'm_ supposed to say that!"

"Whatever, later," Mukahi said, waving.

Just then Oshitari came barreling onto the tennis courts, not seeming to notice as he ran right into Mukahi.

"Ow, my back," Mukahi complained. "Ow, ow, ow."

Both of them ignored the boy that was currently sprawled on the ground.

"Why…did you just run into him like that?" Shishido asked, eyeing the blue-haired tensai worriedly.

"I'm never working in a coffee shop ever again," Oshitari answered solemnly, despite the fact that he had barreled right into his doubles partner without a care in the world.

"…You just went there to read books, right?"

"It was too busy," Oshitari answered. "One woman asked for whipped cream on her coffee, and when we gave it to her she complained that it had to be in a pretty design, and when we tried that, she said she wanted a heart out of whipped cream, so we had to dump the thing and try that, and then she complained that it was lopsided, so we had to re-do it again."

"…People are too picky with their coffee."

"It was more annoying than tennis practice," Oshitari agreed.

"Maybe you should quit practice then."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Jirou threatened me that if I did, he would break into my room and steal my stuff."

"…WHAT IS UP WITH TEENAGERS THESE DAYS?!" Shishido shouted. "THIS TEAM IS DEMENTED AND I'M GOING HOME!!"

Nothing productive got done that day either.


	82. Chapter 82

**I'm writing all of this in one sitting. XD Go me!!**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eighty-Two**

_**I will not go to school alone on weekends, especially when it's Hyoutei.**_

* * *

We do not need to know the reason why Shishido was at school on a weekend.

But it will be told anyway.

Shishido had the misfortune to leave his gym clothes in his locker, so he had to go fetch them on the weekend. Unfortunate for him indeed, but that's where the story starts.

So he was walking along the hallways, grumbling something about forgetting his clothes and having to go all this way just to fetch them. He entered the locker room, and he found Jirou.

He found Jirou in the locker rooms on a weekend.

Shishido pointed at him. "You. Out. Now."

Jirou looked up at him. "Shi-kun! You're here!" Jirou threw a box at him. "Want some Pocky?"

Shishido eyed him warily. "No thanks." He threw the box back at him, and went to his personal locker, opening it and taking out his gym clothes.

Jirou innocently waddled to his side. "Oh, so you forgot your clothes? Mm, it must be such a drag to come all the way here to fetch them. But, don't we have a laundry room at this school?"

"…" Shishido banged his head on the locker. "How could I forget we had a laundry room at this school? Ugh, this school's just insane, stupid laundry room." He threw the clothes back in his locker and slammed the door.

"Since you're here, why not have some Pocky with me?" Jirou asked, handing him the box that was being thrown earlier.

"No thanks."

"Why not?" Jirou asked, tearing up. "I knew it!! Shi-kun always hates me!!"

"…I didn't mean that…"

"Oh," Jirou said, brightening up immediately. "So, do you want some Pocky?"

"…You change moods too often, you know that?"

Jirou looked at him innocently. Yes, innocently. "Is it bad?"

"…You're not a girl, you're not supposed to mood-shift this easily," Shishido replied.

"Want some Pocky?"

"I have a feeling you're out to like, kill me or something," Shishido said. "I don't want Pocky, I hate those things."

Jirou looked at him with shock. "How could you hate it?! EVERYONE in the world loves it!"

"…Like…who?"

Jirou thought for a moment. "Hm, like me, and Marui!!"

"You both eat too many sweet things," Shishido commented. "I'm surprised you both haven't developed some random disease or something."

"If you don't eat this Pocky I'll take your teddy bear and stab it's eyes out with scissors," Jirou threatened.

"…Your moods really change too much and _no_, I do _not_ have a teddy bear. Jeez, is this the threat that you've been using on everyone else lately?"

"I'll steal your tennis bag."

"Be my guest, I'll buy new ones."

"I'll destroy your photos."

"I never liked them anyway."

"I'll spread glitter all over the place!"

"Have you ever heard of a vacuum before?"

"I'll stab you."

"OI, THAT'S GOING A BIT TOO FAR!" Shishido shouted. "Jeez, it's just Pocky!"

"Pocky is good!" Jirou protested.

"Well that doesn't mean you can threaten me with stupid methods that don't work!"

"Even killing you?" Jirou asked oh-so-innocently.

"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP?!"

"Okay!" Jirou agreed enthusiastically.

"…Is that it?"

"Yep!"

Shishido looked at him suspiciously, but decided to overlook it anyway.

The next day Jirou totally ignored Shishido.

* * *

I don't get what the point of this chapter was. XD


	83. Chapter 83

**Meh.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eighty-Three**

_**I will not run around the school as a means of not getting caught skipping tennis practice.**_

* * *

Okay. The real facts.

Tennis practice would NEVER be normal. Under any circumstances since tennis practice was tennis practice and it wasn't…really normal since it was Hyoutei of all schools.

Nevertheless, they still continued to have practices, since it was a means of keeping all those tennis regulars safe. According to Atobe.

Which totally explained why Atobe wasn't trying to look for Mukahi, who had disappeared the third time that week.

"Atobe, Gakuto disappeared again," Shishido said.

"Ore-sama knows."

"So uh…why aren't we trying to find him? Isn't tennis practice supposed to 'keep all of us safe' or something?"

"Hn."

"ATOBE, YOU'RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE TEZUKA!!"

"…"

Shishido rolled his eyes and stalked off the courts, muttering something about giving up.

"I wonder what happened to him," Hiyoshi remarked to Oshitari.

Oshitari gave him a wry look. "Since when do you talk to me?"

"Since Shishido got into another moody phase. Hey, I think steam's coming out of him."

"…"

So Shishido went around the school to find Mukahi…AGAIN. For like, the tenth time. Really, that guy had problems with keeping still and staying in one place. Tennis practice wasn't _that_ unbearable, and the person who even made it unbearable was Mukahi himself.

As usual, he checked around the classrooms and around the gym and the roof, but no sign of Mukahi.

That is, until he ran right into someone.

"What where you're going next time," Shishido muttered, wincing as he tried to get up.

"YOU watch where you're going next time, and what the heck you're supposed to be at tennis practice right now, right?!" the person he ran into snapped back.

"Gakuto, I demand you to get your ass back to practice or else I'm going to hit you. Or something."

"WE DON'T DO ANYTHING DURING PRACTICE!" Mukahi cried out, flailing his arms. "AND I NEED TO GIVE OUT ALL THESE FLIERS IN TIME."

"WHY ARE YOU GIVING OUT FLIERS?!" Shishido shouted back.

"JIROU STOLE MY PENS AND I NEED TO BUY NEW ONES."

"AKUTAGAWA JIROU, GET YOUR ASS HERE RIGHT NOW!" Shishido shouted, causing lots of teachers to stare at him in shock.

Most of them were more concerned at what would happen to Jirou, not Shishido's language, mind.

"WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM TO GET OVER HERE?!" Mukahi asked.

"HE STOLE YOUR PENS!" Shishido said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Like he'll ever give them back. He's probably going to look at us with that lame innocent look and ask what we're talking about. I'd rather give out fliers than deal with him at the moment."

"I need to talk to Atobe about that guy," Shishido grumbled. "I swear he's going to start shooting at Seigaku people next."

"I actually wouldn't mind that. I SWEAR, IF THAT TEZUKA WHOEVER KEEPS ON COMPLAINING ABOUT HIS TEAM, I'M GOING TO SHOOT HIM. OR MAKE A VOODOO DOLL."

"…How do you know he's been complaining?"

"He was talking to Atobe like, two days ago."

"…I swear our team's being heavily influenced by other people. Or something."

"Yeah…"

* * *

What was the point of this chapter, really? XD


	84. Chapter 84

**B****ad Angela. XD Kidding. **

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eighty-Four**

_**I will not watch a ghost program while talking on the phone.**_

* * *

"Gakuto, really, just turn off the TV," Oshitari advised. "Aren't you supposed to be making up all those tennis practices that you skipped?"

"But it's really scary! DUDE, THAT BLACK FIGURED GUY JUST WENT INSIDE THE HOUSE!" Mukahi shouted through the phone.

"Gakuto, turn off the TV."

"But he's going to do something and I wanna watch," Mukahi whined.

"Then stop calling me."

"But it's scary!!"

Oshitari sighed. "Okay, you can either do one of two things. You can hang up right now and continue watching, or you can turn off the TV and go to tennis practice and stop bothering me about your fears of ghost programs."

"THE OLD LADY JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF!"

"…You're not listening to me, are you? And why was the old lady on the roof in the first place?"

"I don't know, a new scene came up and the old lady was just on the roof. Maybe she was cleaning it or something," Mukahi answered.

"Gakuto, old ladies don't usually climb on roofs just to clean them," Oshitari told him.

"Well this old lady did. She had like, a broom with her or something."

"Are you sure she just wasn't possessed?"

"GET OFF THAT FREAKING ROOF RIGHT NOW."

"Who's on the roof now?" Oshitari asked.

"Uh, some four year old."

"How did she get there?"

"It's a he, and he got there by…flying or something."

"…Go bother Shishido." And with that, Oshitari hung up.

Mukahi stared at his phone. "So rude," he grumbled, and began dialing Shishido's number. Two rings later the latter picked up.

"No, I don't care that the four year old just fell off the roof too." Apparently this was Shishido's way of greeting Mukahi.

"How'd you know?!" Mukahi demanded.

"I'm watching it too you dork," Shishido scoffed. "I'm switching channels though; it's getting boring."

"THEY'RE FALLING OFF THE ROOF AND YOU THINK IT'S BORING?!" Mukahi asked him.

"THEY'RE CONTINUALLY FALLING OFF THE ROOF, THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT BORING!" Shishido shouted back at him.

"FUCK YOU."

"SHUT UP."

"SUPERNATURAL HATER."

"EGOTISTICAL MORON."

"WTF, THAT'S ATOBE."

"WTF, DON'T SAY WTF."

"YOU SAID IT TOO."

"GO JUMP OFF THE ROOF."

"YOU DIDN'T LET ME LAST TIME MORON."

"HAIR HATER."

"YOU'RE A…A…TENNIS HATER!"

"IF I'M A TENNIS HATER WHY AM I ON THE TENNIS TEAM?!"

"BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KILL ATOBE AND SUCK HIS BRAINS OUT!!"

"OKAY, THAT'S IT, YOU'RE WATCHING THAT GHOST STORY BY YOURSELF AND I'M GOING TO IGNORE EVERY ONE OF YOUR FREAKING CALLS FROM NOW ON."

"I'M GOING TO SHOOT YOU WITH JIROU'S GUN!!"

"…Wait…something's not right."

"Really?" Mukahi asked.

"Jirou has a gun?" Shishido asked.

"Uh, well, a water gun…a…prop gun…and a glue gun."

"Why?"

"…So he can paste his…Sailor Moon pictures on his wall?"

"…Did he include Sailor Pluto?"

"Yeah, why?"

"PLUTO GOT KICKED OUT OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM."

"WHAT, REALLY?!" Mukahi asked, incredulous, seemingly to forget about the ghost program that was airing at the moment. "SINCE WHEN?!"

"DO YOU EVER CHECK THE NEWS?!"

"NO."

"FUCK YOU. I HOPE YOU DIE."

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DIE JUST BECAUSE I DON'T WATCH NEWS."

"PLUTO ISN'T A PLANET ANYMORE AND YOU SHOULD REALLY KNOW THAT BY NOW UNLESS YOU'RE LIKE, SOME GHOST OR SOMETHING."

"IF I'M A GHOST, CAN I BE IN THIS GHOST PROGRAM?!" Mukahi asked excitedly.

"Sure…?"

"YAY!"

So…nothing productive got done that day either.

* * *

WTF. What was the point of this?

And the ghost…program I made up. Unless there really are old ladies and four year olds jumping off roofs. XD


	85. Chapter 85

**I DUNNO WHAT I'M DOING ANYMORE.**

**Like, Rikkai is so much easier to write than Hyoutei now. I've completely exhausted my Hyoutei skills. SO YEAH. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eighty-Five**

_**I will not talk about quarters ever again.**_

* * *

"Why is there a class called World Currency in our school?" Mukahi asked, totally not getting all the complex equations and stuff that he had to memorize. "I mean…what's the point of that?"

Shishido shrugged. "So you can learn about every single currency there is out there in the world without complaint? Except you're complaining now, so I don't understand why you're even taking the class in the first place. You should've stuck with Foods or something."

"Couldn't."

"Why?"

"I burned some glove or something and now the teacher's pissed off at me. So that means I can't take Foods anymore."

"…How'd you burn the glove?"

"I uh…left it in the oven?"

"YOU LEFT THE GLOVE IN THE OVEN?! WHY?!" Shishido asked, shouting at him.

"You've been doing nothing but shouting these days," Mukahi grumbled. "Why can't you politely and calmly ask me why I left the glove in the oven?"

"Why did you leave the glove in the oven?" Shishido asked as calmly as he could.

"I don't remember."

"WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE?!" Shishido shouted at him, totally losing his cool.

"I dunno, why DO you talk to me?"

"…Okay, so uh, what now?"

"I need you to tell me what a quarter is," Mukahi said, frowning over his paper. "I can't find it. What currency is it supposed to be?"

"I…think it might be Australia. Check that country first," Shishido answered.

"It's not that," Mukahi said, shaking his head. "Whoa, Europe uses Euros."

"…Really now."

"Really, it says so right here!" Mukahi said, pointing at a specific spot on his paper.

Shishido took a look. "That's…Taiwan…Not Europe. And they use the NT Dollar, not…Euros…CAN YOU READ?!" He smacked Mukahi.

Mukahi winced and rubbed his head. "I forgot my glasses at home, is all," he said.

"…Since when do you wear glasses?"

"Since…Yuushi gave them to me?"

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN NEARSIGHTED," Shishido shouted at him.

"KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN," Mukahi shot back. "AND YUUSHI WEARS GLASSES EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T NEED THEM EITHER. WHY AREN'T YOU YELLING AT HIM, HUH?!"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE THE STUPID ONE. AND AMERICA USES QUARTERS."

"What does a quarter look like anyway?"

"Let's see," Shishido said, pretending like he was in very deep thought. "It's about the size of your brain, for one. Oh, I think it's a bit bigger than your brain, and it's made out of METAL."

"…So my brain's made out of metal too?"

"NO." Shishido's brilliant plan of insulting Mukahi had failed. "YOUR BRAIN'S LIKE…NOT IN YOUR HEAD OR SOMETHING. I BET SOME CHICKEN HAS IT OR WHATEVER."

"…?"

The very next day, Mukahi found a quarter in his chicken pie.

* * *

XDDD


	86. Chapter 86

…

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eighty-Six**

_**I will not roll around the tennis courts.**_

* * *

"ATOBE, I CAN'T PLAY TENNIS WHEN THAT…THING'S OVER HERE!" Shishido shouted, pointing at the blob that was rolling around the tennis courts in a strange manner, just rolling, rolling, rolling.

"Gakuto, get off the tennis courts," Atobe called out.

"But it's tennis practice!" Mukahi complained, still rolling around as he pleased. "I can't not be on the courts."

"Then stop rolling around!" Shishido said.

"I can't! I like rolling around, and it's a tennis court, so there," Mukahi retorted.

"…You should stop rolling around. I mean, people usually don't roll on concrete, they roll on the grass."

"I like rolling around the concrete…we don't have grass in our school. Besides, these tennis courts are _green, _close enough."

"…Doesn't it hurt?"

"…No." Mukahi continued to roll around, and almost got stepped on by a freshman.

"You're going to get stepped on pretty soon," Shishido said. "And then your back is going to break or something."

"I'm SO not going to get stepped on!" Mukahi retorted, interrupting a tennis match as he rolled right across a court. "Seriously, why would I get stepped on anyway?"

"BECAUSE WE'RE PLAYING TENNIS, YOU IDIOT. GOSH, I DON'T CARE IF YOUR HEAD'S GOING TO GET STEPPED ON."

"You know, instead of shouting, you could always kick him off the courts," Oshitari advised, taking a sip of water from his bottle.

"…" Shishido decided to just let Mukahi roll around, since he really didn't want to deal with a bitchy Atobe blaming him for Mukahi's injury. Not that Mukahi wouldn't get injured sooner or later, since he was rolling around while people were running around on the very same area. "I think I'm just…not going to bother."

So tennis practice resumed it's normal pace, with Mukahi rolling around and around, not really caring what happened to him.

Until Jirou stepped on him, that is.

"…Why is he crying?" Shishido asked, looking at the heap on the ground who was wiping his eyes on his arm.

"I stepped on him," Jirou said.

"You see? What did I tell you? You shouldn't roll around the ground like that when we're playing tennis!" Shishido reprimanded.

"Oh, no, I stepped on him on purpose," Jirou put in, nodding his head.

"…"

"I'm just trying to help him!" Jirou pouted under Shishido's stare. "Because you said so yourself, he would get stepped on if he kept on rolling around like that!"

"That didn't mean I wanted him to get stepped on on purpose."

Mukahi began rolling around again.

"…I don't think it even worked."

Sniffle. Sniffle.

"WHY ARE YOU STILL ROLLING AROUND EVEN THOUGH YOU GOT STEPPED ON?! AT LEAST STOP CRYING FIRST, I DON'T WANT YOUR DROOL ON THE GROUND."

"People don't drool while they cry, do they?" Jirou asked.

"…"

Mukahi kept on rolling on the ground for the whole day, even though his leg hurt like hell.

"Gakuto, you should really stop doing that," Oshitari said.

"Stop doing what?" Mukahi's muffled voice asked, still rolling around the ground even though Jirou had stepped on him before.

"Rolling around the tennis courts like that, you'll hurt yourself. There's tennis balls everywhere."

"What's so wrong with rolling around the tennis courts?!" Mukahi whined. "First Shishido complains about it, and now you're complaining about it!!"

"…"

Eventually, Mukahi landed on a tennis ball, broke a rib, and had to be taken to the hospital for the fourth or fifth time that year.

"I wonder who even gave him the idea of rolling around the courts in the first place," Shishido wondered aloud.

"…"

* * *

What the crap…XD Next chapter will be better. XD


	87. Chapter 87

**XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eighty-Seven**

_**I will not say that Atobe's servants likes Mukahi more than him.**_

* * *

"Atobe, you really shouldn't abuse your servants like that," Oshitari reprimanded, for once voicing out his opinion.

"Yeah, no one cares how your hair looks," Shishido put in as well. "I mean, it's gray. No one's going to notice how curly it is or whatever. You shouldn't make them carry around a mirror everyday just so you can stare at yourself."

"Ore-sama's hair is very important," Atobe disagreed, not really paying attention to what he was saying. "And it's not gray."

Like we said earlier. He wasn't paying attention.

"…Atobe, what the crap, of course your hair's crap," Shishido said, mouth wide open. "For crying out loud, don't you know your own hair color?"

Atobe blinked. "Ore-sama meant that my hair is gray, but people will notice it all the same."

"I think you've gone mental," Shishido declared. "Your servants are going to hate you for this. I mean, I bet they even like Gakuto more than you."

"What an absurd thought." Atobe paused. "Ne, Kabaji?"

Silence.

"Kabaji?"

"Gakuto's totally nicer than Atobe, ne, Kabaji?" Shishido asked.

"…Usu."

Atobe looked indignant. "Ore-sama is nice!"

"How so?" Shishido asked.

"Ore-sama awes everyone with my looks and talents. People around Ore-sama are entertained thoroughly," Atobe replied, sticking his nose up in the air.

"You're just an egotistical brat."

"Actually," Oshitari put in. "He's egotistical, but not a brat. He's too dignified to whine, or demand things in an annoying way. He annoys people through a dignified and abrupt manner that sometimes surprises people.

"Thank you, I don't need a literature lesson from you," Shishido snapped, rolling his eyes.

Oshitari paused. "That wasn't a literature lesson."

"WHATEVER."

"Ore-sama's servants are perfectly loyal to me," Atobe declared, giving his hair one final pat.

"…Then why is one of them sneaking out of the door?" Shishido asked.

Atobe raised an eyebrow and looked up calmly. "Ah?"

Even though he looked up calmly, his mind was saying "AHN?! ATOBE S HOCK!!" Since, of course, he totally watched Nobuta wo Produce before and adopted that saying from the Akira dude who was always drunk on soy milk.

Of course he did.

The servant looked flustered, but something made her say five shocking words. "Mukahi _is_ nicer than Atobe-sama."

Atobe's mine totally was going "ATOBE SHOCK!!" right now. Most definitely.

"Mukahi won't abuse us," another servant declared. "I've had it! I detest holding mirrors everyday, so _au revoir_. I'm leaving," And that she did.

Shishido gave a triumphant smile. "You see?"

The woeful Atobe Keigo lost all his servants that day, set off by a comment from Shishido.

* * *

Due to school, updates will be slower from now on. Sorry guys. I will try to do my best!!


	88. Chapter 88

**So much homework, it's crazy. I hate math. XD And I'm getting sick of the science building...I like, live their now because of my two science classes. DX**

**And this was spurred on cause my history teacher's kinda scary and he hates it when we don't pay attention.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Eighty-Eight**

_**I will not do math homework during history.**_

* * *

Now, most teachers would PROBABLY be smart enough to realize that Mukahi shouldn't be called on during class discussions and…questions. Not that Mukahi ever raised his hand, of course, it's just that SOME teachers were just too stubborn and not very happy with the fact that Mukahi didn't really participate. In reality, Mukahi was just a little bit smart, knowing that he shouldn't be raising his hand…because…well, yeah, the reason is probably well known by now.

So, yeah, Mukahi's History teacher obviously wasn't one of those smart teachers who didn't call on Mukahi. In fact, she did quite the opposite, and called on Mukahi to ask him what the answer to her discussion question was.

"Mukahi-san, where is Germany?" the teacher asked him, not giving up on her 'bright' and 'wonderful' student.

"Germany's in China which is a part of the USA," Mukahi answered confidently, sure that his epic answer wasn't going to fail him and that for once, he would be able to ace History. Actually, more like, for once, he'd get an A in a class.

"…"

"I studied it!" Mukahi crowed proudly, and went back to…whatever he was doing.

Which turned out to be his math homework, and his teacher found out about it while she was walking around the classroom lecturing.

"Mukahi-san, what is the capital of our country?" the teacher asked on a whim, knowing Mukahi wasn't actually paying attention to her lecture.

"…E equals MC squared," Mukahi answered, not looking up from his work.

Shishido whacked his head. "Idiot, that's not even math!"

"Shishido-san, I'd rather you not injure your classmates while we're still in class."

"Does that mean I get to beat him up during tennis practice?"

"…Perhaps. Mukahi-san, what is the capital of China?"

"X squared, right?" Mukahi asked the teacher, looking up. "Oh, no, wait, that's my math homework question, sorry. So, what was the question again?" He took a look around the room. "Why is everyone taking notes if you haven't even talked yet?"

The teacher cast a quick glance around the room. "No, no, don't write down what Mukahi-san says!" The students immediately put down their pencils, waiting for the teacher's next response. "No, don't put down your pencils! Keep them ready, just don't write down what Mukahi-san says."

"But what if he answers something right?" one girl asked.

"…Have you ever seen Gakuto get something right before?" Shishido asked the girl, staring at her as if she had grown two heads.

The girl thought for a moment. "Who knows, it might happen."

"…Are you a Mary Sue?"

"…Huh?" The girl gave him a confused look, arching an eyebrow. "Since when was Ore-sama's name Mary Sue?"

"…She did NOT just fucking say that," Mukahi said, staring at the girl now as well.

"Mukahi-san!" the teacher admonished. "Such bad language shouldn't be used in class!"

"SHE JUST FREAKING COPIED ATOBE'S LINE. SHE'S LIKE…WEIRD. NOT HUMAN. ALIEN!" Mukahi was flailing his arms with each word.

"Mukahi-san, please calm down!"

"I bet you like, a thousand yen that Gakuto's math made her brain fry."

"I BET YOU TWO THOUSAND YEN YOUR FACE MADE PEOPLE IN THIS CLASS FAINT!" Mukahi shouted back.

Shishido took a look around the classroom, and saw that indeed, some people were unconscious. "Nah, I think it's just your math kind of killed off…the history mood, you know?"

"Well, we don't do anything in history anyway."

"…"

So no one really knew why everyone in history got like, a twenty or below on their history test.

Nor why there were numbers scrawled over everyone's test, as if where Germany was really could be answered with a number…

And no one knows if their history teacher gave up on Mukahi yet…

…

…

…

"I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MY BRIGHT STUDENT!"

…


	89. Chapter 89

**So yeah, chappie is late. I fail, kill me. XD Idea from Eternal.Angel. XDDDD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Chapter Eighty-Nine**

_**I will not talk on the phone while trying to figure out how AIM works.**_

* * *

"So why did you force us to all go on our computers and get AIM?" Shishido asked in his phone. "What is AIM anyway? And why did you invite _Hiyoshi_ of all people in our three-way call?"

"You're just pissed because I didn't invite Choutarou to our call. And I can't believe you don't know what AIM is? Are you even a teenager?" Mukahi asked, randomly typing in a conversation.

"…This thing's in English," Shishido pointed out, clicking on a random link, since he didn't know what the heck he was doing anyway so he just clicked on random links.

"Doesn't the site have like, other languages?"

"…You see, it's in English, so I can't really find it. Not that I'm really trying."

"SO YOU'RE GIVING UP?!" Mukahi shouted in his phone.

"…Ow."

"ARE YOU?!"

"No, I'm not, so you can stop screaming in my ear." Shishido was starting to have a headache. He was seriously considering buying a jumbo pack of aspirins, just like how Sanada and Tezuka had done.

Which meant he was growing OLD.

Not really.

"Okay, so do you have it downloaded?" Mukahi asked.

"Yes," Hiyoshi answered.

"Hiyoshi, stop talking, we don't need you in our lives."

"…But you're the one who called me in the first place."

"Well, shut up."

"This is wasting my minutes…gekokujou."

"Get a phone card."

Hiyoshi totally couldn't think of a comeback so he just stayed silent.

"So, anyway, do you have it?" Mukahi asked again.

"…This freaking thing froze my computer," Shishido answered.

"…Reboot it?"

"I HATE IT WHEN MY COMPUTER FREEZES. DID YOU GIVE ME A VIRUS PROGRAM?!" Shishido was being slightly hysterical now. If only slightly. Or remotely. Or whatever word in the English language that fit your mood today.

"IT'S OKAY, JUST SLAP IT A FEW TIMES UNTIL IT STARTS WORKING AGAIN!" Mukahi shouted back.

"I DON'T WANT MY COMPUTER TO DIE!!" Shishido cried out. A pause. "Oh, wait, it unfroze."

"Did you slap it?"

"…No…I kicked it."

"…Anyway, open your buddy list!" Mukahi advised Shishido, totally neglecting his essay that he was supposed to do and still having a conversation with someone on AIM.

"It's empty," Shishido answered, looking at his blank buddy list.

"Of course it's empty, you haven't added people yet!" Mukahi said impatiently. "What was your screen name anyway?"

"…I just said…Shishido9501843543362394850392930918293401293840123945843056928…" Shishido answered.

Mukahi took a breath.

And another breath.

And people call _him_ stupid.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY NUMBERS IN YOUR SCREEN NAME?! ISN'T THERE LIKE, SUPPOSED TO BE A LIMIT ANYWAY?!"

Shishido shrugged. "I guess AIM exploded then."

So Mukahi had to take great pains in copying down all those hideously corrupt numbers onto his computer, and he had to use backspace more than once when he found out he had made a mistake.

"I don't think you'll get very many buddies if you keep that screen name," Mukahi stated, as he finally was able to add Shishido onto his buddy list. "It's too long."

"AH!!"

"What??"

"YOU JUST LAGGED MY COMPUTER!" Shishido shouted.

"…How?"

"YOU SENT ME A MESSAGE!"

"THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF AIM," Mukahi shouted back.

"IT'S SO LAGGY. AND I HAVE A BILLION POP-UPS ALREADY, I DON'T NEED ANOTHER ONE!"

"…Are you sure your computer doesn't have a virus?"

"Yes, positive."

"Why?"

"Because it has a billion pop-ups," Shishido answered him.

"…" Mukahi sighed, and explained to Shishido very carefully that there was something dreadfully wrong with his computer.

Mukahi may be stupid, but not when it comes to computers. Or Instant Messaging, for that matter.


	90. Chapter 90

**I'm like super late, I know, but life makes me go MIA.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ninety**

_**I will not have salad for every lunch every single day.**_

* * *

Mukahi Gakuto's reason for eating salad every day for lunch was really simple, actually. In fact, it was so simple one wouldn't have guessed it would have been simple as this.

The fact the reason why Mukahi Gakuto kept eating salad for lunch was so that he could lose weight.

And losing weight in turn meant that Mukahi Gakuto would be able to do his awesomely awesome acrobatics better since, in fact, he was lighter and could jump higher. And that in turn would mean that Mukahi Gakuto would finally be better at acrobatics that Kikumaru of Seigaku.

It all turned out very nicely in the end, and it was a win-win situation.

That is, on one fine morning, Shishido decided to shatter all of Mukahi's hopes and dreams.

"He's been eating salad for the whole month," Shishido tattled, pointing a finger at Mukahi as if he were four.

Atobe looked at him for a moment and rubbed his forehead, sighing. Apparently Shishido somewhere in the past week had gone a bit…not right in the head. Really, what was the meaning of sanity in this team? "Gakuto, please tell me why you've only been eating salad for the past…month."

"I've actually been eating salad for thirty-three days, which doesn't really add up to a month, but more like, a month and two days," Mukahi pointed out proudly, stuffing a tomato into his mouth.

"I don't care how many days are in a month right now," Atobe answered tiredly. "Ore-sama just wants to know why you've been eating salad for the past month and however many days."

"…To lose weight."

"I knew it, he's some drama queen wanting to be pretty," Shishido said, rolling his eyes. Well, at least that was a bit in character for him. "It's no fair, I'm allergic to lettuce! I want to be pretty too!"

…Or maybe not.

"You can start eating tomatoes, or avocadoes, or other vegetables like carrots," Mukahi pointed out, in turn munching on a lettuce that Shishido was glaring at.

"I don't care what you eat in your salad," Atobe said half-heartedly. "Just get some protein and carbohydrates in you. Ore-sama demands it." Apparently there was something wrong with Atobe today too.

"Usu."

"I hate books," Oshitari said in a monotonous tone, tossing his romance novel on the bench. "Gakuto, stop being healthy."

"…Are you actually worried about his health?" Shishido asked, surprised.

"No, it's just that vegetables are more expensive than junk food and I don't have all the money in the world, unlike _someone_," Oshitari answered, looking at Atobe knowingly.

"Salads are perfectly fine for lunch," Mukahi protested. "I mean, I'm actually eating healthy, what's there to complain about?"

"…Um, the fact that you aren't getting all the protein that you need and you'll probably end up short for the rest of your life," Shishido suggested, a bit more in character this time. Hopefully.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Mukahi cried out, looking at him with big, wide eyes.

"Um…yes?"

"I AM SO NOT EATING THIS CRAP EVER AGAIN!" Mukahi shouted, throwing his salad down on the table and jumping on the table, causing the table to shake, and causing some first year's chocolate milk to spill over. "I WANT TO BE TALL DARN IT!"

"I thought you wanted to be skinny and…I don't even know what the reason was for you to loose weight," Shishido said.

"To jump higher," Mukahi answered.

"Yeah, I don't think you're going to jump higher; your leg muscles need protein and you're definitely not going to get it from vegetables."

"…I HATE THIS CRAP!"

"…"

So Mukahi's brilliant plan backfired, unfortunately.

And remember, eating only salads isn't the smartest thing to do.


	91. Chapter 91

**Late update. Sorries, it's been a month. School kills XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ninety-One**

_**I will not look for which brand of violin strings is better during tennis practice.**_

* * *

"So."

"…"

"Um."

"…"

"Yeah." Shishido looked about uncertainly. "Uh, so, anyone know why he's looking for violin strings?"

"…How'm I supposed to know?" Mukahi asked lazily. "I don't play violin."

"…I don't care if you play violin or not, I just want to know why he's looking for violin strings during tennis practice. You're probably the only one who even knows so…"

"Well I don't know," Mukahi retorted. "I just see him holding a magazine."

"…He's looking for violin strings."

"And how do you know that?"

"…" Shishido looked like he was ready to kill the acrobatic player. "Because the magazine he's holding has a title called 'violin string catalog'."

"…I can't read English."

"…THAT ISN'T ENGLISH, THAT'S JAPANESE!" Shishido shouted, causing several heads to turn their way.

Mukahi shrugged. "I can't read violin language.'

"…"

"So, I can either choose between Obligato or Dominant," Oshitari muttered, checking off a few boxes in his handy violin string catalog that obviously everyone brings with them everyday.

Or not.

"What's an Obligato?" Mukahi asked, totally appearing out of nowhere.

"It's a violin string brand."

"CAN WE USE IT FOR TENNIS RACKETS?!" Mukahi asked, his face brightening up. "CAN WE USE THOSE STRINGS TO STRING OUR RACKETS?!"

"…I'm afraid not."

"Why not?" Mukahi whined.

"Because they're violin strings, not tennis racket strings," Oshitari replied. "Now, help me choose, Obligato or Dominant."

"Dominant."

"…Why?"

"BECAUSE I'M THE DOMINANT MALE," Mukahi said proudly.

"…I don't know what that means, but okay," Shishido said, rolling his eyes. "That's not a good reason for choosing strings. And what kind of brand name is Dominant anyway?"

Oshitari shrugged. "They're perfectly good strings."

"…Not when the brand name's something incredibly stupid."

"You don't play violin, now do you?" Oshitari pointed out.

"…"

"I think not."

"Ore-sama has made some violin strings," Atobe announced, randomly popping into the conversation because he just _had_ to point out something that had to do with him.

"Really, what brand are they?" Oshitari asked.

"Hippos."

"…Huh?"

"It's a name that Kabaji chose," Atobe said, waving a hand in the air. "Ore-sama had no reason to reject the idea."

"…Are they any good?" Shishido asked.

"They make very nice squeaky sounds," Atobe confirmed, proud of his accomplishment. "Ore-sama has the highest faith in them. There are already top musicians waiting in line to buy them."

"…Atobe." Oshitari was frowning.

"Yes, you rang?"

Shishido stared at Atobe for having used such language. Honestly, they were in middle school in the modern world, not in England or whatever. Not that he was going to say that.

"…Violin strings aren't supposed to squeak when you use them," Oshitari pointed out. "That means something's wrong with them."

"…"

So Oshitari really never did get a chance to choose the right strings, and for some odd reason he ended up choosing Atobe's 'Hippo' strings and three weeks later his teacher reprimanded him for using such awful bowing that his strings squeaked every other note.

And the teacher definitely didn't choose to blame the strings.


	92. Chapter 92

**SO sorry for not updating! School kills, life kills, blah.**

**Oh yeah. And happy birthday to me. XD**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ninety-Two**

_**I will not cover the tennis courts with icing.**_

* * *

Shishido didn't really figure out until much later why Mukahi had a big paint bucket with something…white in it. He only assumed that Mukahi had a paint bucket filled with white paint in his disposal, and didn't really assume that it was something else entirely.

So he walked on, passing Mukahi with his paint bucket filled with white paint, not really caring what Mukahi did with it, since it was bound to be something stupid anyways. It was white paint, nothing particularly harmless unless Mukahi decided to shove the whole thing down someone's throat. Which wouldn't really happen either, unless Mukahi somehow magically developed some murderous qualities.

So Shishido passed him without a second thought, going to his next class, not even realizing that Mukahi was going the opposite direction from his classroom. Heck, he didn't even notice the fact that Mukahi wasn't even IN class for the last period of the day.

So there he went going to tennis practice later, changing into his clothes and going to the tennis courts like nothing happened.

That is, until he got to the tennis courts that EVERYTHING changed.

Some of the tennis players were already there, but they didn't actually bother to go inside to the courts. Shishido thought it was weird that everyone was crowding around _outside_ the fence, not bothering to go _inside_.

So he walked and walked until he stopped by the tennis gate and was about to take a step in when he saw white.

"…GAKUTO WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" Shishido shouted, looking at the white stuff that was currently covering the green cement of the tennis courts.

"It's somebody's birthday today," Mukahi said innocently, spreading more of the white stuff that he had.

Shishido now realized that the red-head didn't have one, but _fifty_ buckets of white paint next to him.

"Okay, please tell me that's white paint," Shishido said.

"It's not white paint," Mukahi answered, painting more of the ground.

"…Then what the hell is it?!"

"Icing."

"Oh, oka-WHY THE HELL ARE YOU COVERING THE TENNIS COURTS WITH ICING?!"

"Because it's somebody's birthday today," Mukahi answered simply, dipping his brush back into the bucket filled with icing.

"THEY MAKE THE CAKE FOR A REASON YOU KNOW."

"That's too boring," Mukahi said. "I can't make a gigantic sized cake, there isn't a big enough oven for that."

"You don't really care about the birthday, do you? You just needed some excuse to do something stupid again."

"Yep."

"GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT TENNIS COURT RIGHT NOW AND STOP PAINTING THE GROUND!!"

"Can't," Mukahi stated. "I'm surrounded by icing, so I can't exactly get out of this."

"Then how the hell are you supposed to get out when you're finished?" Shishido asked.

"I won't."

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"I'm the candle."

"WHO'S TURNING A YEAR OLD?!?!?!?!"

"…My cousin."

"STOP PAINTING THE GROUND. YOU'RE GOING TO ATTRACT ANTS."

"OH MY GOD!!!" a woman screeched out, pointing at the tennis courts, a baby in tow. "LOOK HONEY, YOUR COUSIN IS DOING SUCH A SWEET THING FOR YOU!!"

"LADY, HE ISN'T DOING ANYTHING SWEET, HE'S VANDALIZING SCHOOL PROPERTY," Shishido shouted at the woman.

The woman paid no heed to him. "Look how sweet your cousin is!!"

By then most of the tennis players were staring at the woman as if she were crazy.

So Shishido gave up, and Mukahi ended up covering the whole tennis courts with white icing.

A very pissed principal came over the next day, but did nothing as Mukahi's aunt thanked him over and over and gave him a generous donation, more than enough money to cover the costs of cleaning up the courts.

So everyone was very happy, except for Shishido, who almost went crazy because of white icing.


	93. Chapter 93

**Another update? Oui.**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ninety-Three**

_**I will not yell at someone just because they have a paint bucket in their hands.**_

* * *

So Shishido was a person who really didn't trust paint buckets after the last incident.

Or, rather, he didn't trust Mukahi with _anything_ in his hands.

So when he walking to the tennis courts and saw Mukahi with a paint bucket in his hands _again_, he literally ran over there and tried wrenching the damned thing out of the acrobatic player's hands.

"Let. Go. Of. That. Now," Shishido said, peering into the bucket. It seemed to be filled with…clear, liquid-like stuff. He didn't want to know what it was. "Let go of it right now."

"Why should I?" Mukahi shot back. "It's just a bucket filled with stuff, why do I have to let go if it?"

"Because you're going to vandalize the school with it!"

"Well no one said I did anything wrong that time so what was wrong with the icing?!"

"I SAY IT'S WRONG BECAUSE YOU TOTALLY VANDALIZED THE SCHOOL AND WE COULDN'T PLAY TENNIS FOR TWO WEEKS."

"WELL THIS BUCKET'S ALL MINE!!!! MINE MINE MINE MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!!!!"

So thus Mukahi's brain level reached to the consciousness of a eight-year old.

"LET GO OF THAT PAINT BUCKET RIGHT NOW. I DON'T CARE IF IT'S FILLED WITH BLEACH, JUST LET GO OF IT."

"IT'S MINE!! ALL MINE!!!!! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!!! MY PRECIOUS!!!"

"HOW IS A PAINT BUCKET PRECIOUS?!"

"THEY SHOULD BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE."

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

"UM. WATER?!"

"WHY WOULD THEY BAN WATER?!"

"WELL YOU TOLD ME TO LET GO OF THE BUCKET. THIS THING HAS WATER IN IT."

"I DON'T TRUST YOU!!"

"DO YOU TRUST ME?!"

"NO, I DON'T."

"MEANIE."

"VANDALIZER OF SCHOOL PROPERTY. YOU SHOULD BE ARRESTED."

"If I hear another word about water and paint buckets I'm going to kick you both out of the team," Atobe said in his oh-so-overly-awesome-ore-sama glory.

"ATOBE, I SWEAR THIS KID HAS BLEACH IN THIS BUCKET!!"

Atobe took a look at the bucket distastefully. "It's only water."

"BLEACH."

"WATER," Mukahi shouted.

"BLEACH."

"WATER."

"BLEACH."

"DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE."

"IT'S BLEACH!!"

"I'M ON WATERING PLANT DUTY!!!"

"SINCE WHEN DOES THIS SCHOOL HAVE WATERING PLANT DUTY?!"

"EVER SINCE WE ACTUALLY _GOT_ PLANTS."

"LET GO OF THE BUCKET!!"

"EVEN IF IT IS BLEACH IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S GOING TO KILL ANYONE."

Shishido paused. Mukahi had a good point there. "YOU MIGHT FORCE SOMEONE TO DRINK IT."

"…If I was going to force someone to drink it, I'd boil it in a pan first, then let it cool down, mix it with red food coloring, put it in a water bottle, and then hand it to someone saying 'Hey ma, want punch?'."

"…I got everything except the boiling part."

"It's to make the stink go away."

"Right. So. Let go of the bucket," Shishido demanded.

"I don't want to let go of the damned bucket so I _won't_ let go of the damned bucket!"

"LET GO OF IT RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED WITH WATER!"

"THEN WHAT AM I TRUSTED WITH?!"

Shishido thought for a moment, and handed Mukahi a toothpick that he magically got from out of nowhere. Mukahi took it and let go of the bucket.

Shishido decided to do away with the bucket and disappeared into the school, dumping its contents into the bathroom. Minutes later, a shout was to be heard.

Shishido now knew that Mukahi wasn't to be trusted with toothpicks either.


	94. Chapter 94

Let's just say um...my computer died. Really badly.

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ninety-Four**

**_I will not eat Cheerios on the tennis courts ever again._**

* * *

All those little O's that were appearing around the tennis courts were really starting to bother Shishido. As he stepped on yet another one of those mysterious circle-shaped things, he decided to find out who was leaving random cereal bits lying around the tennis courts. So he decided to look for clues.

Obviously, he didn't find any, since the cereal was scattered randomly around the school. He wondered why there was so much cereal to be found on the ground. Hell, he didn't know who in their right minds would bring a box of cereal with them and start scatting it randomly everywhere.

So he began searching for people who had boxes of cereal in their hands. Unfortunately, he found way too many people at his school with boxes of cereal. Jirou sometimes carried one around, except his cereal wasn't O shaped and had too many colors. Kabaji carried around several boxes of cereal as well, except Shishido suspected they were Jirou's as well. Mukahi continued to carry a box of cereal with little shaped O's, and ate them at the tennis courts.

Wait.

Shishido backtracked a few steps and took Mukahi's box of cereal out of his hands, much to the latter's annoyance.

"Hey! PIGFACE, GIVE ME BACK MY CHEERIOS!" Mukahi yelled, stamping his foot on the ground.

Shishido, surprised at the boy's sudden vulgarity, dropped the Cheerios on the ground.

Mukahi picked up the box that was lying on the ground and glared at the offender who took his precious Cheerios. Those were his Cheerios, dammit!

"I don't mind you eating cereal. I don't even care if that's the only thing in your diet. I don't care if you get drunk from cereal, I don't care if you choke on cereal, just don't leave it lying on the courts. You know how many of those I stepped on?" Shishido lectured.

"I dunno. How many?"

"...I'm not quite sure."

"SEE?!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT, I'M JUST TELLING YOU NOT TO LITTER ON THE TENNIS COURTS."

"I'M NOT LITTERING, THE SEAGULLS LIKE EATING MY CEREAL!!"

"THE SEAGULLS WILL DIE BEFORE THE YEAR IS OVER. YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT FEED ANIMALS HUMAN FOOD!"

"That's like saying you can't feed a panda bamboo."

Shishido rolled his eyes. "That's a whole different story entirely. Just eat your damned cereal and stop feeding animals."

"But the tennis courts look pretty with beige on it!!" Mukahi protested.

Shishido sighed. He really wasn't going to get anywhere with this. "Just don't litter. It's bad for the environment and tennis players may trip on Cheerios."

Mukahi gasped. "Really?!"

* * *

The very next day, Atobe was admitted to the hospital for a broken leg.

Reason? Very simple.

Cheerios.


	95. Chapter 95

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ninety-Five**

_**I will not watch Mukahi play video games ever again.**_

* * *

Shishido ended up having to babysit Mukahi that day because all the other regulars were off preparing for exams or part-time jobs. Atobe, on the other hand, was forced to go to a meeting with his father to learn more about business and finance and all that other stuff.

So Shishido was stuck with a insane acrobatics player while trying vehemently not to tear off the latter's head. Or worse throw the whole game console on Mukahi's head and pretend like nothing happened while Mukahi got admitted to the hospital for head injuries.

Shishido was seriously contemplating that before Mukahi gave out a frustrated cry and threw his controller at the TV screen.

"What the hell, don't throw those things at the TV, it's not nice," Shishido said. "Take out your frustration at something else."

All he got was a punch on the arm.

"_Besides_ me."

Mukahi went back to playing his video game and Shishido sighed. A few minutes later he asked, "What are the rules of that game anyway?"

"Uh...I dunno," was all the reply that he got.

Shishido gave him an incredulous look even though Mukahi's eyes were currently glued onto the screen. "What do you mean you don't know?!"

"I don't really pay attention to what the rules are, I just play. All you really need to know is how to shoot people's heads off and that's basically it."

"...Are you even old enough to be playing this game?" Shishido asked him.

Mukahi nodded once. "Sure."

"What's the minimum age level?" Shishido inquired him, and Mukahi thought a moment before answering.

"Seventeen."

"WHAT THE HELL, YOU AREN'T EVEN SEVENTEEN YET!" Shishido shouted at him and Mukahi threw the video controller at the screen again.

"I should just buy a real gun and start shooting the TV," Mukahi mumbled. "And no one really cares if I'm seventeen or not, at least I look somewhat older than my age.

Shishido threw the video controller at Mukahi's head this time.

"What the hell?! That hurt!" Mukahi complained, glaring at Shishido while rubbing his head.

"Good," Shishido said calmly. "Now you know what it feels like to be a TV. A abused TV that constantly has to deal with flying video controllers and a spoiled kid."

Mukahi stamped his foot on the ground...er...carpet. "I am not a spoiled kid! And that video game is _hard_. Why don't you try playing this game?!"

Shishido took the video controller and made a face. "Ew, it's all sweaty."

Mukahi threw a shoe at him next. "Just play!"

Shishido threw the video controller at him again. "YOU play!! I don't give a crap about video games and you're the one who I have to babysit so go ahead and shoot off those people's heads!!"

"YOU'D PROBABLY HAVE A BETTER TIME SHOOTING PEOPLE'S HEADS. YOU PROBABLY SHOOT PEOPLE'S HEADS EVERY DAY!!" Mukahi shouted at him.

"I DON'T EVEN PLAY THIS VIDEO GAME. THERE'S A REASON WHY YOU HAVE TO BE SEVENTEEN BEFORE YOU PLAY THIS GAME, YOU KNOW. NEXT YOU'LL PROBABLY BE SHOOTING REAL PEOPLE'S HEADS."

"I SHOULD JUST BUY A GUN."

"YOU CAN'T BUY GUNS IDIOT. IF YOU WANT A GUN SO BADLY GO TO AMERICA!!"

"I'LL BUY ONE OF THOSE WATER SQUIRT GUNS AND THEN SHOOT THE TV WITH IT!!"

"THAT'S PROBABLY MORE HEALTHY THAN YOUR VIDEO GAMES!!"

Obviously they did not notice they were in a _neighborhood_ surrounded by _people._ So obviously shouting these types of things would cause some kind of trouble.

"IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SHOOT SOMEONE JUST GO TO THE ARCADE AND PLAY PINBALL!!" A voice shouted outside their door.

"Wait, so do you take those little ball things out of the machine and start throwing them at people?" Mukahi asked.

No answer.

"Huh. She left. Or was it a he?"

"That's not the point, just go back to playing your game so I can leave in peace."

"Why are you here today anyway?" Mukahi asked him.

"To baby sit you," Shishido grumbled. "I don't get why I have to babysit a _teenager_. You're _older_ than me so this doesn't make sense."

Mukahi looked at him with wide eyes.

"What?!"

"I just realized something."

"...What?"

"Squirt guns. SQUIRTLE!!"

Shishido looked at him in disbelief.

"YOU KNOW, THE POKEMON?!"

"Okay, you know what, that's it, I'm leaving. Go do your chores or something, you've been playing way too many video games. I'm leaving, bye." And with that, Shishido left.

* * *

"WOOPER!!" Mukahi shouted, pointing at Oshitari.

"...You left him again, didn't you?" Oshitari asked Shishido. All he got was a DS thrown at his face.


	96. Chapter 96

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ninety-Six  
**_**  
I will not try to hijack a plane so that I can become a star in Hollywood.**_

* * *

"Preparations for HAPH are now complete, over," Mukahi muttered into his walkie-talkie.

Shishido smacked him on the head. "You don't need to talk in that, it's _fake_ and I'm right _here._"

"What's HAPH?" Ootori asked, trying to figure out how his binoculars worked.

"Hijacking A Plane...Hollywood," Mukahi answered, squinting his eyes at the long check-in line for Japan Airlines.

"...WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HIJACKING A PLANE?! HOW IS THIS EVEN GOING TO WORK, YOU HAVE CHOUTAROU OVER THERE WITH _BINOCULARS_ IN A FREAKING _AIRPORT_!!" Shishido shouted, causing several heads to turn his way in alarm.

Oshitari sighed, taking his book and smacking Shishido on the head. "You don't shout that out in an airport."

"WHY DID YOU BECOME SO VIOLENT ALL OF A SUDDEN?!" Shishido demanded him, flailing his arms in the air. "WAIT, WHAT THIS HOLLYWOOD HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?"

"Once we hijack a plane we're going to call Hollywood and tell them to let me star in a Hollywood film, or else we're going to fly the plane right smack into the studio and kill everyone and possibly lose a few people who are walking near it," Mukahi answered calmly, taking out a gun.

"...That's a watergun," Shishido told him.

"Yeah. And, your point?" Mukahi really didn't get where Shishido was going with this.

"This is not going to work, operation HAPH will be unsuccessful, so we can go back to school before Atobe kills us for cutting class and missing tennis practice. I don't want to run laps when we get back."

"I want to star in a Hollywood film!!" Mukahi whined.

"Well, first, actually try in English class, and LEARN from it. Don't just sleep in class and not get anything and cheat off Oshitari for the answers. Second, once you've learned your english, go to America and audition someplace and maybe they'll let you act in something and _then_ you can star in Hollywood."

"That's too much work," Mukahi complained.

"Oh, so planning on hijacking a plane and possibly getting caught _isn't_ too much work?"

"Nope!" Mukahi replied cheerfully.

Shishido banged his head on a wall nearby, causing a police officer on patrol to glance at him suspiciously.

"So, let's board our plane!!" Mukahi said.

"Do you have tickets?" Oshitari asked him.

"..."

"HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET ON THE PLANE IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE TICKETS?!" Shishido shouted at him, and Mukahi put a fingers to his lips and walked casually to the gate for their flight.

"Excuse me, but there's a fire in one of the gift shops," Mukahi said sweetly to the guards that were now admitting people on board.

The two guards looked at each other worriedly and ran off to the direction Mukahi was pointing at, and Shishido looked at their retreating forms incredulously, following Mukahi onto the plane.

Shishido didn't know how, but they ended up being seated on the plane and that's when the thought suddenly hit him.

"I AM SO IN HELL NOT GOING TO GO TO AMERICA. HOW THE HECK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO COME BACK?!"

"The same way we came in?" Mukahi said, shrugging.

Shishido grumbled to himself, crossing his arms. Mukahi silently stood up and took a mic out of his pocket.

"Why the hell does he have that?" Shishido muttered under his breath.

Oshitari shrugged. "The same way he got his brain, I presume."

"He doesn't have one!" Shishido hissed, which was ignored by the blue-haired boy. "Aren't you going to do something before this ends up being a total disaster and we end up 3000 miles away from home?!"

Oshitari shrugged again. "As long as I don't have to look at Atobe's hair for a day, I can deal with it."

"..."

"Attention all passengers aboard this plane," Mukahi announced carefully in the mic, a solemn expression plastered on this face. "I am hijacking this plane." He took out his water gun.

A woman screamed and pointed at him, her other arm flailing and hitting the passenger beside her, knocking him unconscious. Another woman screamed and pointed at the now unconscious passenger, then at Mukahi. "HE HAS A GUN, A GUN, WE'RE GOING TO DIE HORRIBLE DEATHS, I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!"

"Why is he doing this _now_? The plane hasn't even left yet," Shishido muttered.

"In order for you guys to be safe, I must be allowed to star in a Hollywood movie and have a stable job in Hollywood," Mukahi said.

By now several passengers were looking at him with wide eyes, and Shishido smacked himself on the head for all the idiots in the world.

* * *

Mukahi ended up actually getting a role on TV. On the news, that is.

The police really couldn't do anything about it, since he was carrying a water gun and held no major threat to the airplane.

Shishido smacked himself again on the head for all the idiots in the world.

...

And in the end, Mukahi didn't get to star in a Hollywood movie like he had hoped.


	97. Chapter 97

Mooching off Slacky aka Easily Forgotten for an idea. XD

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ninety-Seven**

_**I will not try feeding a rabbit Trix.**_

* * *

Shishido really wondered why he hadn't moved to somewhere far away from Hyoutei, like Africa, or China, or _Canada_.

He also wondered why there was a freaking _rabbit_ in his lap, right smack in the middle of the tennis courts.

He also wondered why the rabbit liked moving around so much, and proceeded to bounce around in his lap, which really bugged him. "Gakuto, get this rabbit off of me, put it back wherever you got it from, and put away the cereal box," he ordered.

"I want to feed this rabbit though!!" Mukahi whined. "It looks hungry!!"

"It's going to _die_ if you feed it cereal," Shishido argued, picking up the rabbit and lifting it away from Mukahi's outstretched hands. "Where'd you get this rabbit anyway?"

"I stole it from Atobe," Mukahi answered him.

"WHY DOES ATOBE HAVE A RABBIT?!" Shishido asked him.

Mukahi shrugged. "He has everything. I don't know, he's just weird that way."

"That rabbit was given to Ore-sama from my third cousin thrice removed on my mother's side," Atobe noted. "It's a very special rabbit."

"...How do you know your third cousins thrice removed?" Shishido looked confused. "Isn't that a bit _too_ complicated?"

"Anyone in our family is invited over from time to time."

"...Okay, your family is just WEIRD," Shishido exclaimed. "GAKUTO DON'T FEED THE DAMNED RABBIT CEREAL!"

"THE FREAKING CEREAL BOX HAS A FREAKING RABBIT ON IT AND YOU'RE TELLING ME I CAN'T FEED IT THIS?!" Mukahi shouted back at him, waving the cereal box right in Shishido's face.

"IT'S HUMAN FOOD. RABBITS DO _NOT_ AND I REPEAT DO _NOT_ EAT HUMAN FOOD!"

"THE BOX HAS A FREAKING RABBIT ON IT."

"IT'S FOR HUMANS."

"THE BOX HAS A FREAKING RABBIT ON IT."

"IT'S NOT FOR RABBITS."

"THEN WHY THE HELL IS THERE A FREAKING RABBIT ON THE BOX WHEN YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FEED IT RABBITS?!" Mukahi inquired. By now most of the team was staring at Mukahi flailing his arms with a box of cereal, causing several pieces of it to scatter around the tennis courts.

"THE FACT THAT IT'S CALLED CEREAL CLEARLY MEANS THAT RABBITS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT IT."

"It's eating it now."

Sure enough, the rabbit had long since climbed out of Shishido's lap and now was nibbling on the bits of cereal that had fallen onto the ground.

It immediately started coughing.

"OH MY GOD IT'S COUGHING!" Mukahi shouted, pointing at the bunny that was twitching on the ground.

"IT'S CHOKING ON THE CEREAL IDIOT, THIS IS WHY I SAY DON'T FEED RABBITS CEREAL!!" Shishido shouted back at him, taking the rabbit in his arms and patting its back.

The rabbit promptly threw up on Shishido, and for the rest of the day Shishido had to go around with a stinky tennis uniform.

Remember kids, THIS is the reason why you don't feed rabbits Trix. Not because you want to be evil, but because it's not SAFE to feed rabbits Trix.


	98. Chapter 98

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ninety-Eight**

_**I will not eat a whole bunch of chocolate while studying for finals.**_

* * *

So the members of Hyoutei's tennis club were finally studying, because finals were coming up and Atobe didn't want them to fail them. Atobe partly didn't want them to fail the finals because he didn't want to lose any valuable assets, and it was also because he didn't want to have to deal with all those screaming parents that accused him of ruining their child's life.

So, instead of practicing tennis like a tennis team should, under normal conditions, Atobe made them study the whole weekend for their finals.

He, unfortunately, did not note to regulate what was allowed during study sessions and what was not.

Mukahi brought with him a whole bunch of chocolate candies that were in little cylinders, Jirou decided to bring a stuffed animal, Shishido decided to bring a book, and so did Oshitari, surprisingly. Hiyoshi decided to bring his Pokemon game because...well, he was a nerd that way, and Ootori decided to bring his sewing stuff. Atobe was just there, because it _was _his team after all, and Kabaji was there because he always followed Atobe.

Even though it was supposed to be a study session, each member of Hyoutei's team sat down on a piece of floor in Atobe's living room and did whatever they want. Atobe tried to call their attention a few times before giving up, thinking that they'd study eventually, considering they were Hyoutei's students.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Mukahi ended up eating a whole bunch of his chocolate that he had brought with him, maybe a little bit _too_ much, which was noted by Shishido.

"Dude, if you eat anymore you're going to puke all over Atobe's carpet like some cat and then he's going to get pissed at you," Shishido told him, tapping him on the shoulder, warning him not to eat anymore of the chocolate.

Mukahi shrugged. "It should be okay. I don't _feel _sick or anything yet."

Shishido groaned and smacked himself on the forehead. "Whatever. Just don't complain to me once you start feeling like you want to puke."

Jirou was playing with his stuffed animal right in the middle of the living room, and promptly fell asleep while doing it.

"...That guy really doesn't have any motivation. Seriously," Shishido noted. He looked over at Hiyoshi, who was deep in concentration over his Pokemon game. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Shhh," Hiyoshi shushed him, pressing some keys madly. "I've almost caught this Pokemon! I'll be the ruler of the world!! Gekokujou!!"

"STOP EATING YOUR CANDY!!" Shishido said, totally ignoring Hiyoshi's latest comment. "IT'S BAD FOR YOU AND YOU'LL FAIL ONCE WE GET BACK TO TENNIS PRACTICE."

Mukahi continued to eat his chocolate, ignoring Shishido. "Eating chocolate is the best thing if you're not going to study."

"You're still going to fail anyways," Shishido grumbled, grabbing the chocolate cylinder away from Mukahi. "Go study. Now. Or else you'll be kicked off the tennis team."

"Chocolate is more important than tennis," Mukahi shot back, trying to grab his chocolate.

"Ore-sama did not hear you just say that," Atobe said.

"CHOCOLATE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN TENNIS!" Mukahi shouted.

Shishido was sure by now that Mukahi had eaten some sort of poisonous chocolate that had interfered with his thinking. "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!"

Mukahi ended up throwing his chocolate at Shishido, and it hit him in the head.

"WHAT THE HELL?! YOU WANT TO FIGHT?!" Shishido shouted at Mukahi, standing up.

"YEAH. BRING IT!!" Mukahi shouted back.

...

"So. Um. Why are there two people missing?" a random freshman asked.

The six present regulars ignored him.


	99. Chapter 99

Only two more to go!! I can't believe we all made this far!! Thank you for all of your support!!

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number Ninety-Nine**

**_I will not bring my electrical devices into the school campus ever again.  
_**

* * *

Mukahi had been lugging a large bag around the school for the last few days, and Shishido had wondered what was inside that strange, mysterious bag. There were often times when he didn't even _want_ to know what strange thing Mukhai had come up with this time, but he technically had no choice but to be curious, because his mind was being stupid that way and didn't give him a moment's peace when it came to Mukahi.

So Shishido had to stare at that damned bag for the whole day during class, wondering what the _hell_ was in it, exactly. He managed to corner Mukahi near the Hated Broom Closet, and asked him what the hell was in that bag, because it really was pissing him off and he didn't understand why Mukahi had to carry _two_ bags around school.

"Oh, this?" Mukahi asked, looking into that bag. "Just my collection of video games, my iPod, my laptop, yeah, that sort of thing."

"...Why do you have those things here, exactly?" Shishido asked. "No, more importantly, why do you lug them around with you every day?"

"My mom said if I didn't raise my grades, she'd take my electronic devices, so I lug them around school," Mukahi answered matter-of-factly. "It's actually really nice. I get to play with them if the teacher's not looking."

"...What do you do if you don't study or do your homework?" Shishido tried.

"Play video games."

"Maybe it's a good thing if your mom takes them away from you then," Shishido pointed out. "Because instead of studying, you're playing video games, and now you're briniging them to school, which causes an even greater distraction."

"Video games are more important than school."

"...What the hell?!"

"Oh, and you know, I have DDR on my laptop!" Mukahi said, taking it out from his bag and plugging it in to a random electrical outlet. No one knew why it was there. Maybe it had something to do with the Hated Broom Closet. He showed Shishido a whole bunch of songs.

"I don't give a crap, just start studying or else Atobe will really kick you off the team, for sure."

Mukahi shrugged. "It doesn't really matter, season's over anyway and he's been threatening me for three years now. I don't see him actually kicking me off the tennis team."

"He might just get serious and really kick you off for good this time."

"Hey, I'm in my third year, it doesn't really matter. It's the wrong season anyway."

"You won't get to hang out with us after school. You'll get locked out of the tennis gates, or the tennis clubroom, depending on where we are."

Mukahi shrugged again. "I can play more video games then."

"...YOU PLAY WAY TOO MUCH VIDEO GAMES FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. THAT'S IT, I'M TAKING THIS!" With that, Shishido took the huge gigantic bag away from Mukahi and immediately dropped it onto the floor. "...What the hell, this is HEAVY. How the hell do you even lug this around school?!"

Mukahi shrugged and picked up the bag with ease. "I guess the bag likes me more than you."

Shishido could only blame it on the Hated Broom Closet. That was the only explanation, the only thing plausible. He tried to take the bag away from Mukahi again, and ended up dragging it across the floor and down the stairs, the whole thing bumping and bumping.

"Hey, careful! Fragile things are in there! Delicate delicacies are in there!" Mukahi reprimanded, trying to wrench the bag out of Shishido's grasp. Several students were staring at the two boys fighting over the bag.

"STOP USING IMPROPER GRAMMAR. DELICATE DELICACIES?! LEARN YOUR JAPANESE BETTER!" Shishido shouted, managing to lug the bag into another broom closet in the school, slamming the door. "STUDY."

Both of them argued for the rest of the day.

* * *

"...Why do you have that again?!" Shishido demanded, watching Mukahi lug the bag around school again.

Mukahi shrugged. "I found it in the broom closet upstairs."

"...I put that thing DOWNSTAIRS."

"..."


	100. Chapter 100

**So I was like, I better sit the fuck down and WRITE. Around a 1000 words, to make up for the four months of not UPDATING. **

**

* * *

**

**100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei**

**Number 100**

_**I will not say "I hate tennis" in front of the whole school ever again.**_

* * *

Such a peaceful and kind of warm day was not to be wasted, or so Atobe thought. Since it was _Christmas_ and _sunny_ and all that he decided it would be the perfect time to shove another tennis practice down everyone's throats, regardless of what they had to do during their Christmas break.

So, that's what he did.

For some odd reason, all of the regulars came, because apparently they had nothing better to do a.k.a they didn't go anywhere a.k.a Atobe told them to stay. And no, he did not threaten them with sticks and tennis rackets and various tennis balls.

"It feels like summer," Shishido grumbled, covering his eyes with one hand. "Why is it ninety degrees outside during December?"

"It's because this whole planet hates you and doesn't want you to live anymore," Mukahi snapped back. "I bet it wants you to melt to the ground during December and call it mutual suicide because you're stupid and can't think for yourself."

"…Nothing you say makes any sense. And who's going to commit mutual suicide with me? I'm not going to melt into the ground just because it's ninety degrees."

"Well I think _I _am. Hey, how about you commit mutual suicide with me?"

"…How about no. I kind of value my own life a bit, thank you very much," Shishido muttered, picking up his tennis racket and standing up. "Come on, we need to practice."

"Why?" Mukahi whined.

"…Because Atobe said so."

"I don't give a flying _fuck_ what Atobe says," Mukahi suddenly snapped, jumping up. "He can go screw himself for all I care. What's this about having tennis practice all of a sudden during _Christmas_? I could be eating turkey or whatever it is those Americans eat during Christmas. I could be playing _video games_ or whatever instead of being here outside where there's sun and ninety degrees of hell."

"Ore-sama will not screw himself," Atobe stated from his place on his special chair, because obviously he has to have a special chair made especially for him.

"You know what I think? I think _tennis_ should go screw itself."

"That's…very nice," Shishido commented. "Remind me why you're here then."

"Because I _hate_ tennis, that's why," Mukahi retorted, crossing his arms. "I hate it so much that I just _have_ to be here every single freaking day even though it's ninety degrees outside during _Christmas_."

"You know it's possible in Australia," Shishido reminded him. "The ninety degrees thing, I mean."

Two seconds passed.

Thirty seconds.

Forty.

"Wait, why the hell are you even here if you hate tennis?!"

"HAS ORE-SAMA HEARD CORRECTLY?! DID YOU JUST SAY YOU HATE TENNIS?!"

"Gakuto…"

"Wait, if he hates tennis, can I take his place?" Hiyoshi asked.

"YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BE MY DOUBLES PARTNER. EVER," Oshitari shouted, throwing his glasses at the said second-year-Hyoutei-Gakuen-person-student-someone.

"Dude, what the heck, why did you throw your glasses at him?" Shishido asked. "Wait…hold up. WHY HAVEN'T YOU ANSWERED MY QUESTION?! WHY ARE YOU HERE IF YOU HATE TENNIS?!"

"That, my fellow citizens, is the deep mystery that has befallen upon each of your heads," Mukahi said in his almighty voice of…awesomeness?

"Shut up with the crap and tell us why you're here if you hate tennis," Shishido growled, snapping his tennis racket into…thirds?

"The question here is…why am I here if I hate tennis," Mukahi proclaimed.

"…Yes."

"Are you guys purely stupid or do I have to explain every last detail of my life in great detail to you guys?!"

"…?"

"Okay, first off, who _says_ I hate tennis?!"

"…You said so like two minutes ago," Shishido confirmed.

"Okay. So give me a reason why I hate tennis."

"…Because it's ninety degrees out when it really should be thirty something. And it's Christmas and you'd rather be playing Wii Tennis than…play…real tennis?"

"Wii Tennis is so much funner."

"FUNNER IS NOT A WORD."

"STOP SNAPPING AT ME I KNOW WHAT'S A WORD AND WHAT AIN'T A WORD."

"…I give up. You go do whatever you want to do, just leave TENNIS OUT OF THIS," Shishido shouted.

"Do you know what's the different between Hokkaido cream and…regular cream?" Mukahi asked him.

"…What's that got to do with tennis?"

"Nothing, I'm just wondering."

"Um." Shishido pondered on this for a good few moments, the other seven people watching him silently. "Hokkaido…cream comes from Hokkaido? I don't know, does it make your skin look better or something?"

Mukahi stared at him. "You put cream on your skin?"

"…Well, it's…makeup? Where else are you supposed to put it?"

"Is he really talking about makeup?" Ootori asked carefully, not wanting to anger any of his already very well angered teammates.

"I believe he's talking about food," Oshitari commented.

"I believe he's talking about makeup," Shishido shot back. "He's girly enough."

"Usu."

"Gekokujou."

"You see even Hiyoshi and Kabaji agree with me!"

"I wasn't agreeing with you," Hiyoshi said very solemnly.

"Yes you were," Shishido argued. "You were _so_ agreeing with me."

"I'm sleepy," Jirou complained.

"GO SLEEP."

"…I understand." So Jirou plopped down onto the ground and slept.

"I was talking about the…milk cream? Like, the type you put in bread?" Mukahi chipped in.

"YOU WERE NOT. YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT MAKEUP," Shishido argued.

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT I THINK ABOUT AND WHAT I DON'T THINK ABOUT. YOU LUZ0R."

"…"

"…LOSER."

"DON'T MAKE TYPOS IN YOUR SPEECH."

"ALL I'M DOING IS TALKING TO YOU PEOPLES."

"SPEECH BASICALLY MEANS CONVERSATION IN THIS CASE AND IT'S PEOPLE."

"WHATEVER. YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT AND WHAT I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT," Mukahi shouted. "I'M THINKING THAT I HATE TENNIS, SO THERE."

"YOU SEE YOU HATE TENNIS."

"NO I DON'T, STOP SCREWING WITH MY MIND."

"…DO YOU HATE TENNIS OR NOT?!" Shishido exclaimed, frustrated at Mukahi's sudden lack of decisiveness.

"…I don't know," Mukahi answered.

"Then DON'T SAY ANYTHING."

"…So basically I need to shut up and GTFO of your life?"

"…Basically."

"Okay, bye, I'm going to play tetris." And so Mukahi walked off, game console in hand.

The only thing that they productively did was kick Mukahi off their tennis team and epic fail at their next tennis tournament.

Atobe knew that he should never, ever, hold practices during ninety degree Christmases.


End file.
